Name: Chris Farley Was Worried He Upset Dave | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-02-17T14:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Farley Was Worried He Upset Dave | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Farley Was Worried He Upset Dave | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-17. Transcript available.

Ladies and gentlemen, you know our first guest from the very popular television
program, Saturday Night Live.
When do they do that show, Paul?
When do they do it on Saturday night?
Saturday night?
On Saturday night.
When do they film it?
Well, it's done live.
Do they film it later?
It's not filmed.
It's done live.
But then what time is the show on?
Saturday night when?
Yeah, it's done on, it's live.
Earlier in the day and they play it back Saturday night?
No, it's done live.
Okay, fine.
But on Friday, he will be a major motion picture star when his brand new film,
Tommy Boy, opens nationwide.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the human thunderball, Chris Farley.
Man alive!
Now we're talking, buddy.
That was something.
Very, very impressive.
That's quite an entrance.
Daniel, the friend that works here, that you have...
Well, he's more than a friend.
He's on the payroll.
He said that you like physical stuff, so...
That was a very impressive entrance.
I think in the ten years we've been doing this show, I've never seen anything
quite like that.
Want to do what the king wants, so...
Well, let's do that!
I'm on Dave Irving Show!
Bob Kelly!
Look at this, Alex.
Man, that's a...
That's a whole lot of...
What an idiot!
You, sir, are a regular Nadia Comaneci.
You are a Mary Lou Retina.
How you doing, buddy?
You all excited about your big movie?
Oh, man, yes.
Things are getting better and better for you, aren't they?
Yeah, I love it.
What about...
Do you get a sense now of how your life might change with the fame that is
going to come with the release of this film?
Not that you're not famous now, but, you know, it's going to be more and more.
Well, I don't know.
Sometimes people come up to me and, like, ask for an autograph.
One time I was with my dad and...
What's your dad's name?
My dad's name's Tom.
Tom?
Yeah, and then the chef at the restaurant came up and asked for an autograph.
That's nice.
And so I signed it, and then my dad goes,
What'd you put on there?
And I go,
Well, I just wanted an autograph, so I signed my name.
He goes,
Oh, for God's sakes, make it personal.
These folks are coming up there, taking a risk and asking you,
Make it personal, for God's sakes.
Just sign your name like a jackass.
So, but, um, I don't know.
It's like, it happens sometimes through a concert autograph,
but it's not going to change me.
I'm going to do the same old Chris.
Nothing's going to happen here.
Oh, I've broken your equipment.
Whoa, look out.
Are you all right?
Yes, sir.
Are you going to be okay?
Yeah, I thought that.
Well, hey, you know, there you go.
You can have one of those.
Hey!
It's like hell.
I like chocolate.
Oh, man.
Chris, you're from, I think you're from Wisconsin, right?
Madison, Wisconsin?
Yes, sir.
Beautiful state and a very nice city.
Madison, I think, is the capital of Wisconsin, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
Yeah.
Um, Madison's capital was...
What about your mom?
You mentioned your dad.
How's your mom doing?
Oh, she's great.
What kind of a life did you and your folks have when you were a kid?
Oh, Lord, Dave, I put them through hell.
Sorry about that.
I'm going nuts.
I'm going nuts.
I'm going nuts.
I can't stop it.
Oh, Dave, I never thought it could happen.
All right.
Now, what if I just start falling in love with you?
No, don't.
No, we're just kidding around.
It's TV, and it's, you know, it's all for charity.
So that's still charity.
So now your mom, and your mom's name is what?
My mom's name is Mary Ann.
Mary Ann and Tom.
Okay.
Yeah.
And how does Mary...
How did she...
What was she like as a kid?
What kind of a mom was she?
She was wonderful, but probably, you know, as I said, put her through hell.
Yeah.
I remember sometimes that we'd come home from school.
She kept trying to put me on a diet in sixth grade.
She took me to Weight Watchers and stuff like that.
How much did you weigh in sixth grade?
Do you mind telling me?
I was a pretty hefty kid.
I was on the highest level football team when I was in sixth grade,
and that's usually for the eighth graders, but I did it mostly because of my
bulk.
But so she tried to make me lose weight, and so she put me on Weight Watchers
and had Weight Watchers all up and down the refrigerator,
and she had the ice cream in there, and I'd come home from after school,
watch reruns of Gilligan's Island, take that gallon of Weight Watchers ice
cream
and eat it, and my mom would go,
Christopher, I know it's Weight Watchers, but it doesn't work when you eat the
whole gallon.
But so she's excellent.
You want me to get a towel for your hair?
Because it looks like it's not quite dry yet.
We don't want you catching cold.
Let me ask you about this show we have here tonight.
We have a bring back, hey, hey, Academy Award winner, bring that card back, son.
Stevie Wonder, of course, you've got to love Stevie Wonder.
Oh, yeah.
We've got a great story about Buddy the cross-country dog.
Do you like animals?
Yeah.
This is a great story.
The dog from Long Island and somehow ends up in Colorado, went out skiing or
something.
Four days gone from home and then they get a call and they fly him back and he's
like a hero.
We have the dog on tonight.
And Doc Severinsen sitting in with the band all night.
What a, what a...
I love this show, Dave.
You and I worked together at NBC for a while.
I think you came...
How long have you been over there yourself?
This is my fifth year.
Fifth year.
And so we knew each other, I guess, briefly before I came over here to CBS.
What was that like for you?
All of a sudden, you're working there at NBC.
That must have been a huge thrill for you.
God, it was so awesome.
I remember, you probably did see me all the time because I was always going
back and forth
out onto your show.
I remember, yeah, we would see you in the hallway if we'd have a band or a
guest on you would
like you to come back.
Yeah, it was nice.
You'd say, beat it, tubby.
The beverages aren't free.
You didn't say something about beverages one time.
But, man, ah, dang, I love this show, though.
I haven't watched it for 12 years.
Except for, here's how we used to watch it in college.
Oh, Letterman, man.
How did she check out Letterman?
Check it out, man.
So I always used to go down there and watch it from 8 and then to your studio
at 6.
But first time I got hired at Saturday Night Live, I was kind of paranoid and
scared.
I had that ID card.
Oh, yeah, you got to have the NBC ID.
NBC ID, and I lost it.
Oh, no.
And I thought, oh, my God, security's been breached.
They're going to have to redo everyone's security code.
I thought it was a huge deal.
And my paranoid fantasy was that, like, it would get to you and you're like,
who is this
jackass?
They hired up on Saturday night.
He can't hold on to an ID card.
Get him out of here.
I was like, no, I'll find it.
I pretty much called the shots over there.
Yeah, that's how that worked.
And that's why I had to leave.
Let's talk about the movie.
You're very excited.
It's called Tommy Boy.
You and David Spade.
David Spade, very funny man, very nice guy.
And you guys are friends as well as working together on the show and now in
this big movie.
Yeah, he's my buddy.
We had a lot of fun.
I love this movie.
Shot it in Toronto?
Yeah, I shot it in Toronto.
We had to go back and forth a lot from Toronto to New York because we were
doing the show at
the same time.
So we'd like break up the monotony and stuff like that.
And Spade said that he kept trying to bug me about my weight and said I kept
eating when
I got nervous.
I had a little bit of a weight problem.
I'm not sure if anyone.
But then this jacket used to fit me during the shoot.
But so he says he'd exaggerate it to like, don't give me that excuse about
nerves.
He's exaggerating to like, oh my God, there's a red stoplight.
Not another blue car.
One time on the plane, he'd always check the candy bar drawer to make sure that
they were
all full.
But the second time he checked it, it was all wrappers.
There was chocolate all around my mouth.
I go, I don't know where they went.
Then to break up the monotony one time, everyone was really tired and I couldn't
sleep for some
reason.
So they all woke up and I was bare naked on the plane.
The pilot said, get your clothes on.
It reeks in here.
Oh God, that was a bad one.
I shouldn't have gone that area.
No, Chris, you're being too hard on yourself.
That's a lovely story.
Let's talk a little bit about the movie, Tommy Boy.
It's about a kid that like inherits his dad's business.
That kind of deal.
Is that what it is?
Yeah.
I go to work for my dad.
Yeah.
Played by Brian Dennehy, man.
He is awesome.
See, that's excellent casting.
The two of you, I could believe that, father and son.
That's a good job.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then I kept screwing up for the company and stuff.
I really love this movie.
I hope that everyone will like it because we had fun making it and I think it's
really good.
I hope so too.
I hope it's a huge hit for you and for David Spade and everybody else as well.
Because if I don't, I'm going back to Wisconsin on the farm.
So go to it.
No, no, that was stupid too.
You know, you're very entertaining and a very nice guy.
I appreciate you coming over to say hello tonight.
Thanks, Dad.
All right.
Thanks.
All right.
Good luck, Chris.
Thank you very much.
Chris Farley.
Woo!