Name: Pee Wee Herman Takes Dave For A Drive In The Country | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-02-23T12:58:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pee Wee Herman Takes Dave For A Drive In The Country | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pee Wee Herman Takes Dave For A Drive In The Country | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-23. Transcript available.

Welcome back to the program, folks. My first guest tonight has completed a very
successful engagement at the Tyrone Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis and begins a
run at Caroline's here in New York City. That's tonight. Welcome, please, Pee-wee
Herman.
Nice to see you. Thanks. How's it going? Going pretty well. Mr. Letterman,
first of all, I wanted to bring you this. It's a Fourth of July gift, and it's
for you, and it was made by my sister expressly for you. That's very nice. Your
sister, is she older or younger? She's younger. Younger, and what is her name?
Her name is Hermione Herman. Everybody in my family's name begins with H. My
grandfather's Herman Herman. My dad's Herman Herman. My brother's Herman Jr. My
mom's name's Honey Herman, you know.
And what about you? You're Pee-wee Herman. Well, I can't give away what my real
name is. No, what's your real name? No, I can't give it away. No, no, I really
can't because I... Well, what does the P stand for? Well, Pee-wee is just a
nickname. Oh, so it's not P.wee Herman. No. No, no, no. All these years, I
thought it was Pee-wee Herman, but it's not. It's Pee-wee Herman. Well, well,
duh, David.
So, aren't you going to open your present? Pee-wee as in diminutive. Yeah. Yeah.
This is very nice, Pee-wee, and I will open it.
Could you take a little longer to open it up? No, I'll get right to it. It's a
cool present, and my sister made it, especially for you.
Oh, that's very nice. I just said that a minute ago. Deja vu. I hope you like
it.
This is very nice. This is...
This is nice. This is a... Yeah, look, see, it's a... Oh, I see. It's a...
It's a tissue dispenser, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you could use it for a lot of
things. You know, like...
No, that's beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't see... I'm glad
you like it.
You don't see craftsmanship like this anymore. No. No. Yeah, it's beautiful. We'll
put this right over here.
We'll leave this on our set, and if any of our guests need a tissue, I'll be
able to offer them one out of that head right over there.
Great. Hey, you know, I got to show you one thing here that... Because you
mentioned that I was just in Minneapolis, and this is this newspaper from
Minneapolis.
It's a... You know, like, it tells what's happening in Minneapolis and stuff
like that, and it has these ads in the back.
You know, you've seen these kind of things. It says, eligibles, you know, like
for, you know, to meet people.
And listen, I want to read you this ad because I just do. So, so, listen to
this.
If you are not afraid of commitment, and if you believe that relationships are,
like everything else, worthwhile in life, requiring time and effort, then read
on.
I'm a non-conventional, quality-oriented, handsome graduate student, 30, with
eclectic and semi-bohemian tastes.
Listen to this part.
I'm sensitive, intelligent, sincere, loyal, and very nice.
I seek a lovely, like woman, 24 to 30, for companions, significant other, and
lasting relationship.
Someone who responds to cinema, theater, cafe sitting, dance, Tom Waits, B.B.
King, neon sculpture, Doctor Who, junk shops,
neon sculpture, inner cities, unusual stuff, outrageous stuff, Pee-wee Herman.
Look, look, look, look, look right there, look.
Yep.
See what that is?
Pee-wee Herman, yeah.
This is an ad for somebody who's trying to find a girlfriend, and he wants
somebody who likes Pee-wee Herman.
Can you believe it?
I can, I can believe it.
Yeah.
Well, that's, well, let's see now people are really beginning to...
You know, it's from your show, too.
This guy made me right here.
Me, me, me, me, me, like this.
Now, how do you, do you, do you want to go over here, Pee-wee?
Yeah, we have this really swell special effect all set up, so you and me can go
for a little cruise in the countryside,
because, you know, I know you had to work on 4th of July, so...
That's right, and I appreciate you coming by.
So we go over there now?
Yeah, yeah.
We go over there now?
Yeah, we just go over right now.
You, you have to go on, on this side, because I'm going to drive.
Should I bring the tissues, Pee-wee, in case we have an accident in the car?
Ah, ah, ah!
So, so, if you just sit down, and here's the rest.
Okay, here we go.
Late, late model sedan here.
Here we go now.
Here we go.
Peel out!
Peel out!
So, anyway, I just wanted to tell you this one thing, because we were going
along the other
day, you know, and so, I was like, you know, trying to figure this thing out,
and I was like,
talking about this joke and everything, and I couldn't figure it out or
anything, what was
going on or anything so this guy's right on my butt. Okay, okay. Is that an Edsel?
I don't know. Here, let's see how he likes this. Windshield. Just kidding, okay.
David, David, take the wheel.
You better drive. 99 bottles of beer on the wall. 99 bottles of beer. Sort of
bumpy in the world too. Have you noticed that? Yeah, it is a little bumpy. Look
out, puddle. Here comes another one, a big giant puddle. Could you take the
wheel again? I'm kind of feeling a little car sick right now.
But Pee-wee and I are going to go look for a good price on Unleaded. While we
do that, you take a look at this. We'll be right back.
Welcome back to the program, ladies and gentlemen. Pee-wee Herman is here and
Marv Albert will be joining.
David!
And also P.J. O'Rourke will be joining.
Could I have a Kleenex Peewee?
How do you like being in New York City for the 4th of July?
I really like it, except I haven't seen any fireworks or anything.
Yeah, it'll be tonight. They'll start tonight.
Yeah, they generally shoot them off at night.
Yeah. And you mentioned your family earlier. How are they doing?
They're doing great. Everybody's doing great.
You know, I wanted to tell you this other thing, too, because I'm playing in
this club in New York now, you know, called Caroline's,
and they have a lot of food there and everything, so I have to wear this thing
because when we're playing around with food and stuff,
you know, the health department has these laws, so they make me wear this thing
on the thing, and I do it.
And so it looks sort of spazzy, don't you think?
It doesn't look that bad. It doesn't look too bad, no.
No, well, these things could come back, you know, I mean, like, you know, the
kind with the beads and stuff on it could, you know, but then maybe they won't.
I got something else I want to show you, too, that's a cool thing because, see,
this went over great in Minneapolis because this is made in Minneapolis, you
know, Scotch Tape Minneapolis.
And this is a thing, thanks, okay, this is a thing that's called fun with tape,
and you can play around with tape if you don't have anything to do at home.
You can take, like, a piece of tape like this, and you can make it go like this,
like...
See, you can do a thing like this, and then you can take another piece of it
like this if you want, and you can do this, like...
See, like this, you can do, you can do a lot of stuff with it if you want, and
you can do, like, stuff like this.
Hey, my twin brother!
I was just kidding.
Yeah, I know.
But, you know, there's a lot of fun stuff you can do, play, play with this, and,
you know...
I think kidnappings, you see a lot of that in kidnappings sometimes, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, but you can just, you know, take it off, like, you know...
All right, now you have some, one other thing you're gonna do for us, is that
correct, Pee-Wee, tonight?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, we have to go away here for station identification when we come back.
Pee-Wee Herman is here.
You just finished at the Tyrone Guthrie Theatre in Minneapolis.
And now I'm playing with my wheel-o.
Now, what kind of a show do you do when you go to the Tyrone Guthrie Theatre?
This is a legitimate big-time place, isn't it?
Pee-Wee?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's a real big place.
It's giant, 1,400 seats.
But, I mean, this is a legitimate theatre, isn't it?
Yeah, well, it is 'til I get there.
Uh-huh.
And what sort of a show do you put on for the show?
Well, I just, you know, I do stand-up comedy.
I just go out and act funny.
Uh-huh.
Well, you know, do...
Hey, hey, I got something I gotta show you right now.
This is a fun toy.
See this little monster guy right here?
Yes.
You pull this thing out like this, and you probably...
If you know about this, don't give it away.
Look, look.
Can you get this on the camera right here?
Look.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
And I wanna...
Okay, shut up.
Why don't you have a heart attack?
Look, look.
I wanna show you this too.
Can you get a little closer on this thing so we can see it real close?
Look, look, look inside here at this little fish swimming around.
Uh-huh.
That's cool.
Ah-la-la.
Ah-la-la-la-la-la-la.
Yeah, okay.
Well, that's it?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought there was...
Let me see that, Kiwi.
You don't have to apologize.
No, I thought something else was gonna happen.
Well...
Although this is certainly plenty.
I mean...
Look through this.
It was good enough for the folks at the Arlo or at the...
Arlo Guthrie?
Tyrone Guthrie Theatre.
Look through this, Mr. Waterman.
You can see a naked girl in here.
Look.
Look in there.
You just look in there and...
View artist models for men only.
For best view, hold close...
Now, I know this would put a silly little mark on my head, wouldn't it?
Here, you try it.
No.
No, I'll try it.
Look through this.
Okay, I will...
No, you got the wrong end.
Wait, wait.
You know, I gotta do one more thing before I leave because I've been rehearsing
and everything
for it.
I'm gonna be making a surfing movie pretty soon.
You have this stuff, this lint all over you.
I know.
What's that right there?
I've been working out on the trampoline lately because I'm getting myself in
shape
because I'm gonna be doing this surfing movie pretty soon.
So, I don't know too many stuff yet, but I know two tricks.
So, I was gonna do a little trampoline act for you.
I'd love to see them.
Sure.
Great.
Well, I'm gonna go right over to the trampoline right now.
Alright, be careful.
Gary Herman on the trampoline, ladies and gentlemen.
Okay.
Come right out on there.
These are my spotters that were just selected from the audience.
So, if you could just take your positions around the trampoline.
And this is my trampoline act right now.
So, you know, you just gotta watch out.
Just, you know, like, spot me, okay?
You know, okay?
It's like I start, like, flying off the trampoline or anything.
Okay.
So, here's the trampoline act.
I have to get up here so I don't brain myself.
Okay.
Now, just completely quiet here, okay?
Because this is pretty difficult for me.
Knee drop!
Seat drop!
Knee to seat!
Okay, uh, no, don't applaud.
I flubbed it up.
There!
You go, thanks.
Thanks.
Thanks, you guys.
That was amazing.
Amazing.
Thank you, yeah.
Thank you, folks.
Truly amazing demonstration.
I think we have a little ride back, folks.
Very nice.