Name: Dave Does The Show From His House Featuring Charles Grodin, Jerry Seinfeld | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-02-25T14:38:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Does The Show From His House Featuring Charles Grodin, Jerry Seinfeld | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Does The Show From His House Featuring Charles Grodin, Jerry Seinfeld | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-25. Transcript available.

Dave Does The Show From His House Featuring Charles Grodin, Jerry Seinfeld | Letterman

Hi there. I'm David Letterman. Welcome to the show. We got a great show for you
tonight. Let me
tell you what's going on. A couple of years ago, it seemed like a couple of
years ago, I signed up
to have cable television installed here at my home. And as you know, if you've
ever had to deal
with cable TV people, they make you stay in your home all day and wait for the
guy to hook it up.
Well, this is my fourth pass at getting it hooked up, and I really didn't want
to screw this
opportunity up. So that's where I am. That's why I'm here. And as soon as the
guy comes and hooks me up,
I'm going to race right into New York and be there in the studio with you. In
the meantime,
we have a fine show. Paul and the band, of course, are there. Some wonderful
guests, but I'm really
excited about getting cable TV. This brochure here, I think, pretty much says
it all for me.
Cable TV offers you a whole new world of entertainment and information. And boy,
do I need it now. So
I'll wait here on the cable guy. And the second he shows up and hooks up the
service,
I'll be back into the studio. And we're going to have plenty of fun. So we'll
be right back,
folks. Welcome to the show, ladies and gentlemen. You've certainly selected a
good night to be here.
We have a fine program. I saw something interesting in the paper this morning.
You know, John Glenn,
of course, is running for president. And apparently someone has suggested that
he needs to project more
of a warm, friendly image. So he's now offering to give to anyone who needs one
a back rub.
I thought that was unprecedented in the world of presidential politics.
Sure. Thank you very much. Just put it there. I'm still here in my house. The
cable guy has not
showed up yet, but I'm confident they'll be here sometime before the end of
today. We've got a great show
for you. At this point, ladies and gentlemen, please now say hello to our good
friend and musical
director, Mr. Paul Schaefer.
Dave, thank you.
Hey.
Thank you so much. Well, we have been having a kind of a fabulous time here,
Dave, in your absence,
but we miss you. You know, we're waiting. We know you're going to get here
eventually.
I just want to say that I got a lot of respect for you, babe.
You're doing a good thing. You're doing a courageous thing.
And just a wonderful thing, you know, for all mankind in the 80s. And it's, it
is the cable
generation anyway. But guys, don't you think? How about it for David Letterman?
Thank you very much, Paul. Thank you very much. And of course, as you remember
from an earlier
show, Paul does have cable. And before the end of the day, I'm pretty confident
that I too
will have cable. We have a fine show and we have some things we're going to do.
And, uh, it's a, how much time do we have actually left? How?
56.34.
56.34. So we have virtually a full hour for you. And, uh, there will be a lot
of stuff to
do in that next hour. So I tell you what, uh, let's do this. Why don't you just,
just make
yourselves at home, everybody. And, uh, then we can see.
No, I, wait a minute. I didn't mean you guys actually.
It was just kind of a figure of speech. I didn't mean the crew.
I tell you what, I'll, uh, I'll show everybody around. I'll, I'll show
everybody around. All
right? Let's, let's go. This will, this will work out much better.
I thought you'd be interested in taking a look at this. This is my mailbox. It
was knocked
down during the big snowstorm and I put it back up. Did a pretty nice job, I
think.
Just some boulders and mud, the way the Incas used to do it. They were the
first civilization
to actually have mailboxes. And I think we're looking at a piece of equipment
that'll
be here for a long time to come. How you doing, Jose?
Hello, Jose. Nice to see you.
Thank you, sir.
Just one of my neighbors.
This is my emergency generator right here. And this is the, uh, circuit breaker
box.
Most homes, I think, now have circuit breakers instead of fuses. And I, I
applaud that.
This is, uh, our vegetable garden. And for my money, uh, the vegetables you
grow in your
own backyard are, are the best. For example, take a look at this broccoli. Boy,
you'll never
be able to buy anything like that in a store. Mmm. And let me show you the cantaloupes
we
have over here. These are really nice. We, uh, we believe these will be ready
about the first
part of January. There's some fine eating there. This is the ladder I've talked
about before
on the show. Let me show you how it works. Oh.
Drop it up against something like this. And then you can, well, I'll just show
you. You
can go on up like this. You have to be very careful, though. This, this ladder
conducts electricity.
This is, uh, where my family stays when they come to visit. Not too bad. The
height of bed
down there. Is that all you need?
Well, I hope you enjoyed that. There's a lot of, uh, things to do around the
place. How
much time do we have now, Hal?
5543, Dave. Great. The important thing is we have plenty of time to get
everything in
we'd planned. Uh, the cable guy is not, uh, is he? No. Not here yet. All right.
Well, as
soon as he, uh, comes and installs the cable, I'll be back in the studio. I, I
kind of wanted
to save this, uh, for right now. It's kind of special. It's a stupid pet trick
with, uh,
our dogs, uh, Bob and Stan and some potato chips. You've seen stupid pet tricks
on the show.
And, and, uh, my trick is that me and my dogs sound the same when we eat potato
chips. Here.
You know. I mean, the first one will be me eating potato chips. Ready?
Okay. Now, that's how I sound. This will be how Bob sounds. Ready, Bob?
The problem is Bob takes this into a different room and Stan sort of starts
without me. Here, Stan.
See, it's hard to tell, really, from just the, the sound, who, who was eating
the potato chips.
So it's important when you eat potato chips, always do it in a well-lighted
room.
It's a joke. I don't know what it means exactly, but it's a joke.
Okay. And, uh, very nice, Bob. Well done.
And, uh, how much time now, Hal?
55, 13, Dave.
Okay. Is the, uh, I guess we'd, uh, the cable guy would have, uh, knocked or
something.
All right. Well, let's, uh, go on with the, the show at this point.
And what do we have? Is this, uh, is there a commercial here, Hal, or something?
Uh, yeah.
Okay. I've, Hal thinks it'll be a commercial right here.
So, we'll be right back.
Welcome back. Uh, obviously still in the house.
And, uh, I'm telling you, the second the cable guy shows up, we get the cable
back to the studio.
And, uh, in the meantime, I'm very excited about tonight's show.
Uh, Linda Ronstadt is here, comedian Jerry Seinfeld.
And, uh, my first guest, this gentleman has been with us a couple of times
previously.
And, uh, well, he's, he's back here tonight.
We're not actually here. He's in the studio.
I'm here in my own home.
In fact, I'm not even sure I'd, I'd have him to my home.
No, I would. I would.
Uh, my next guest, uh, is a very funny writer.
He's, uh, also, uh, an actor and a director.
And, as I pointed out, making a return visit to this program,
a show in which he starred, Charlie Zant, famous play,
has just been nominated for an ace.
We're delighted to have him with us tonight.
Please welcome Charles Grodin.
Charles.
Charles.
Go ahead and have a seat there, Charles, if you will.
Charles, can you, can you hear me all right?
Yeah, gee, I wish someone had mentioned you weren't going to be here.
It's, uh, it's awkward to come out and do a talk show in front of millions of
people
and to sit out here by yourself is really, uh...
Well, uh, I, I appreciate you coming and, uh, just keep your hands off my
belongings, if you will.
Uh, uh, Charles, now, uh, first of all, do you...
Charles, uh, do, do you yourself have cable?
Yes, I do.
Uh-huh.
Could you speak up a little bit?
I'm sorry.
I say, do you have cable?
I do, yes.
Yeah, well, I've covered that, I guess.
And, uh, do you enjoy it?
What?
I say, I say, do you enjoy it?
Oh, yeah, I love cable.
Yeah.
Now, you, this, this Charlie Zant, uh, that you just did, that was for a cable
concern, wasn't it?
It was for cable.
Yeah, and, uh, it won you a nomination for an ace?
Ace, that's like Emmys, or that's, that's the, the cable awards are called, the
ace awards.
What, what does that mean, the ace?
What is that, do you know?
Best show, you know, like, uh, whatever, a Tony or an Oscar or an Emmy, uh, or
something like, how you doing?
But, but I mean, the ace itself, A-C-E, does that mean anything?
Uh, uh, I don't know, that's just the name of the award.
Yeah, all right.
Uh.
Where you from?
Where you from?
Are you talking to me, Charles?
No, no, that's it.
Where you from?
I'm, I'm originally from Indiana.
No.
Is Charles talking to me?
The blonde lady in the third row, actually.
Oh, um.
Where you from?
I was, I'm sorry, go ahead.
All right, I'll tell you what, during the commercial, you can go up there.
You look familiar, that's all.
What, David?
Yeah, during the commercial, you can go up there and, and mingle with the
audience and, uh.
Right.
Whatever you want.
Now, um.
I think I'll be finished here in about 10 minutes.
Maybe not that long, Charles.
Now, in, uh, Charlie's aunt, you had to, you had to wear a dress, didn't you?
Yeah.
Now, uh, was that an interesting experience for you?
No more than usual.
What was, what was it like, uh, performing in, uh, in, in woman's wear, women's
wear?
The same as just putting on a dress and going out for the evening.
And, uh, was, was it a difficult role for you?
When you said you wouldn't have me to your house, that was a joke, right?
Oh yeah, no, no.
Just a little preoccupied, I want to just clear my mind before we go on with
this.
No, no, that was, that, no, that was.
That's, that's your sense of humor, right?
That was a joke.
Now, Charles, you mentioned my house.
Let me, let me ask you something about your house.
I have a quote here from Paul Simon, uh, an acquaintance, friend, peer of yours.
Paul Simon once said that your unflamboyant lifestyle is the clearest
manifestation of a neuroses.
Uh, he's re, he's talking about your apartment there.
Do you have any response to that?
Well, that's your apartment, right?
We're looking at now?
Yes, this is my, uh, home, actually.
It's, uh, there are places to say something like that.
You know, Paul Simon is a kind of like a, uh, you know, like a party hat and a
tutor guy,
you know, like, uh, you know, those things, you blow them out and they come
back.
He does that a lot.
So, to him, the way I live is, uh, you know, like, not, not flamboyant enough,
but I consider it fine.
Well, how do you live, if you had to describe your life?
I've got a chair and a, you know, a table and a bed.
Just a minute.
Listen, is that the guy?
No?
Okay.
Bob!
That's your, that's your cable guy?
No, that's, uh, I think that's, that's Stan eating a neighbor child, but it'll.
It's okay.
He's had most of his shots, so don't worry.
Uh, anyway, Charles, now tell me about your lifestyle again.
What kind of a place do you have?
Why are you there again?
What are you doing there?
You're waiting for the cable man to come?
That's right.
You know, I had cleaning to pick up tonight, too.
I could have been, I could have been somewhere.
No, now, Charles, we can get somebody to pick the cleaning up for you.
Now, now tell me about the, the kind of life you leave, leave, leave, leave.
No, there's, there's nothing there.
I just, I'm just a regular person with a, with a regular life.
I mean, I'm not going to tell you things about my life any more than you're
going to tell
me things about your life, you know.
Do you, do you see a lot of women?
No, I'm married.
Well, see, we didn't know that.
How long have you been married?
Two months.
Well, congratulations.
Thank you.
Uh, are you, Charles, are you really married, or did you do that for the cheap
applause?
I'm really married.
Well, good.
I'm, I'm glad.
Now, um, tell me about your grandfather.
Was it your great-great-grandfather that helped, uh, write the, uh, Gettysburg
Address?
That's 