Name: Staff Favorite Moments: Writers Tom Gammill & Max Pross | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-03-01T13:00:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Favorite Moments: Writers Tom Gammill & Max Pross | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Favorite Moments: Writers Tom Gammill & Max Pross | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-01. Transcript available.

Hello, I'm Tom Gamble. I'm Max Pross. And we were at the late night show from
the very
beginning 1982 through most of 1983, and then we left to work with Lorne
Michaels on a short-lived
show called The New Show, which in retrospect was not the best career choice.
Right, Max?
You never know. It might get picked up again. Yeah, but anyways, we laid it on
our feet. Don't
worry about us, folks. We've been working and the phone is ringing off the hook.
But anyways,
we did come back in 1985 and '86 to help Dave with some films, some short films.
One of them,
Dave marries Mrs. Hal Gurney. And so there's some excellent acting by Dave and
Paul in that.
Hal says he can't eat tomatoes because of his sensitive stomach,
but I think he just doesn't like my cooking. Doesn't like your cooking? Doesn't
like your cooking?
Can you Hal Gurney? I remember we shot that at the Francis Tavern,
the oldest restaurant in New York where George Washington hung out. And while
we were shooting
it, I remember Dave just sitting at a table having coffee with us thinking, I
can't believe it,
like George Washington was here and now we're doing this. This is the saddest
thing I've ever seen.
He was so upset that we were like shooting this crazy video at a historic
monument.
And actually the bed scene was shot there too, upstairs.
Yes, yes. Dave in bed with her was shot in like a corner room of the Bronces Tavern.
I think the next clip we want to talk about is something we did early in the
show.
It was at the very end of the show. The show was over and we showed Dave saying
goodbye to everybody.
Yeah, we love the idea that the show was like a traveling carny and people who
came
to see it actually had to buy tickets. And the voice of Ms. Bill Wendel was
Jude.
Dave, we're on our way to a love-in. You want to come?
No, thanks, Paul. I'm going to just hang around here, clean up a little and hit
the hay.
Ah, okay. Have fun though. Good night, Paul. I love you, bro. Will, I love you
too, Will.
I miss you, miss you. I'll see you, Steve.
What a dump. I don't know, his New York audiences are so messy because
this place was spotless this afternoon. It was just, look at this. I'll let the
crew clean up
tomorrow. I got to hit the hay and get some shut eye. Good night, Mr. Melman.
Good night, Dave.
Dave, when do I go on? I'm Dr. Arlene Ginder, the edible plants specialist.
Oh yeah, gee, I'm sorry. We, you know, just ran out of time and you got bumped.
We'll have you on again really soon, though. Maybe tomorrow.
Okay. I'll wait just, I'll wait right here. Okay.
How'd we do? All right then, not bad. We almost broke even.
Yeah? Selling any lemonade? That's not going. Three weeks, not much.
I don't know. I thought the heat and all, you know, we'd sell that stuff.
I think we're going to try cookies. Okay. Good night, Barry.
Okay. 20 lemonade. No, that's all right. Knock yourself out. See you, Hal.
All right, Dave. Good night.
Good night, Paul.
I wonder when John Chancellor is getting back from vacation. It's been quite a
while.
I am neighborhood kids messing with my flowers again. Oh, hi, neighbor.
Hi, Bill. How's it going?
Say, are those little kids around here of a trash yard garden?
No, they pretty much leave me alone, Bill.
Yeah. Oh, incidentally, could I borrow the charcoal grill?
Oh, sure. Take the coals and the starter. It's all yours anytime.
That's very kind. Yeah.
Thanks very much.
Lawn looks great.
I did a lot of work on it.
I know you have, Bill.
Thank you.
Uh-huh. Good night.
Good night, man.
Get in here and go to bed.
Ball and chain.
Lovely woman.
Come here.
Oh, Andy Kaufman and the plant lady.
Yeah, we'll have her on real soon.
Oh, big show tomorrow.
What do we got, a boxer and a music guy?
Yeah, yeah, a lot of work there.
Lights out, Mr. Letterman.
Oh, yeah, sure.
That stupid network, all these damn rules.
And another thing, Wendell, how come you never get to host the show?
At least McMahon gets to sit on the couch.
I wish they'd buy a trailer.
When the show started, I would call my parents and I'd say,
did you watch the show last night?
And they'd say, yes.
And I'd go, well, what do you like about it?
And there'd be a long silence.
And then they'd say, we liked when we saw your name.
But here's the piece they liked because I was in it.
Elevator etiquette, very early on in the show, written by Merrill Marco.
When you live or work in New York City, there is one thing you can be sure of.
You're going to have to spend a lot of time riding elevators.
And with any form of transportation, your ride will be a lot more pleasant.
Your ride will be a lot more pleasant if you learn the rules of elevator etiquette.
For example, when you first get on board the elevator, it's perfectly
acceptable to introduce
yourself to the other passengers.
Give your name and your floor.
Hi, I'm David Letterman, 14th floor.
Marie O'Donnell, 7th floor.
Oh, 7th floor.
That's the commissary floor.
And I guess it's very nice there this time of day, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
14th floor is nice, too.
Hi, Tom Gamble, 2nd floor.
Tom Gamble, 2nd floor.
What a wimp.
Couldn't walk up a flight of stairs?
Every elevator car comes equipped with a standard electrical outlet.
Why is it there, you're asking yourself?
Well, for your personal use, take advantage of it.
Dry your hair?
Yes, thank you.
That's lovely.
How about you?
No, I'm heat sensitive.
He's heat sensitive.
Now, of course, the topic of elevator music.
Is it proper to ask someone to dance?
You bet.
But be considerate.
Always take into account their floor and destination.
Care to dance?
Oh, I guess so.
But only until the 6th floor.
Fine.
He delighted to.
The elevator is a wonderful way to make new friends.
And isn't that what traveling is all about?
Don't mind me.
I'll just dance by myself.
Sure.
Good idea.
When the late night started, Alec Baldwin was an actor on a soap opera called
The Doctors.
And my wife and girlfriend, Sandy Gillis, had worked on The Doctors before she
got promoted
to receptionist at late night.
Alec Baldwin would come up and sit in the lobby visiting my wife, Sandy.
But it was clear he wanted to get on the show.
And I remember one day, Dave came into our office and said, "Why is that
handsome man
with his shirt unbuttoned talking to your girlfriend?"
And I said, "Tom, button your shirt, please."
And we said, "Don't worry, sir.
That's Alec Baldwin.
He's going to be big one of these days."
And it was Jim Downey who said, "This guy is comedy gold."
And he's the one who wrote the piece, the first appearance of Alec Baldwin.
I guess I don't have to tell anyone in this studio audience that next month,
the daytime soap opera, The Doctors, is going off the air.
Now it's always a very -- no, no, no.
This is very sad.
It's very sad when a program ends.
They have been on the air, I believe, 20 years.
Now, naturally, everyone wants to know how will the series come to an end.
And since they taped the show right here in our building, the RCA building, we
thought
that we would go down there to their studio on the third floor and find out.
Now, obviously, I can't go.
I have to stay here and look at the world's most peculiar dogs with you folks.
So, okay, if you watch the monitors, let me give you some information.
Now, this is Alec Baldwin, who portrays Billy Aldrich on The Doctors, or he did.
Alec was secretly investigating how the series would end when his character
was brutally murdered on last Friday's show.
He's young, debonair, and so very, very dead.
You're going to need a guide.
So, ladies and gentlemen, the actor who played Billy on The Doctors
meet now, Alec Baldwin.
Alec?
Alec, thank you very much for being here.
Alec is working for us now since his character on the show was killed off,
and I understand you're bitter.
Is that correct, Alec?
That's right.
I'm bitter, and I'll do anything I can to destroy the doctors as they destroyed
me.
Okay, so on that note of optimism, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to send
you on your mission.
Good luck, and report back to us when you find some information about how the
series comes to a conclusion.
As you know, earlier in the show, we sent two audience members down to the
doctor's
studio along with ex-doctors actor Alec Baldwin.
Their mission has been completed, and they're back with us in the studio to
report on what
they've uncovered.
First of all, Alec, when you left earlier, you seemed to be pretty bitter.
How do you feel now?
Seeing the place where I used to work only made me feel more bitter.
So we had to talk about the very first episode.
It was Bill Murray and Mr. Wizard Don Herbert.
And we knew Bill a little bit because we had worked on Saturday Night Live the
year before.
So he called us up the week before, and he was like, "Look, this has got to be
good.
I can't just go out there and wing it."
So he came in on the Friday before the Monday.
He was going to be on the air.
He called all the writers and a lot of the production people into the writer's
room.
And then he noticed that we had these fluorescent lights.
And he was like, "Oh, guys, we cannot deal with these.
You should not be under these fluorescent lights."
So he made us get all the lamps from the office and bring them in.
And then he also suggested we get some vodka.
So I remember the executive producer coming in.
The whole office is drinking vodka in this dimly lit room.
And he just sort of poked his head in and then closed the door.
I remember even going home on the elevator, getting on the elevator with Dave.
And Dave just looking at me, "You're really drunk, aren't you?"
It's like, "Yeah, it's that bad.
Like, this is an office," you know?
And then because we didn't even finish what we were doing,
Bill Murray said, "No, no, we still don't have enough stuff.
You guys are going to have to come to my house tomorrow, your house."
So me and you and George had to take the train up to Bill Murray.
So I spent the day up at his house upstate working on stuff.
And I just remember thinking, "Man, I love this.
It's fun hanging out with Bill Murray, but are we going to do this with every
guest
on the show?
I know.
Spend days working with him?
We'll die.
This is impossible."
So then one day, it was the day of the first show.
I think he showed up for the dress rehearsal just for a little bit.
But then he disappeared.
And then about three hours before the show, Dave called me and Max into his
office.
We had never been in his office before.
We were sitting on the couch.
And then he picks up the phone.
He calls Meryl and he goes, "Um, could you get in here?
Just get in here."
And he hangs up and Meryl comes in and they go, "Okay, where is Bill?"
And we're like, "We don't know where Bill is."
And then it's like, "Well, is he going to show up?"
It's like, "Oh, sure he's going to show up."
And he showed up about two minutes before the show started.
I hope you don't take any offense.
Offense at what?
Well, I just came in.
You folks in the studio probably don't know this, but I had to go feed.
I had to go back home.
And I came right back and I got caught in traffic.
They were a little nervous out there.
It was no problem.
It's just that I'm not wearing shoes right now.
No, I'm just kidding.
I have shoes.
He did a "Let's Get Physical."
And he did a funny rant yelling at Dave about Mr. Wizard.
Well, I wish that you would quit trying to run my life, Dave.
No, I mean this.
I mean it.
You've got everyone here under your spell.
It's obvious.
You know, you had him doing deep breathing exercises before the show.
I don't like to see it.
I know you're on here in late night where no one can stop you.
But this kind of thing is not going to go on as long as I have some connections
here in this building, the RCA building.
I saw what you did to Mr. Wizard, Don Herbert.
He has the Wizard in his pocket.
And you just can't use science for your own ends, Dave.
You can't play God with people.
When are you going to get off the high horse?
Smell the coffee brewing.
So do you miss Saturday Night Live?
Sure, I miss it.
I miss going back.
I miss the old gang.
Bob Tischler, of course.
My old friend is producing it.
My brother, Brian Doyle Murray, is on the show and one of the stars of the show.
Wait a second.
What's happening to me?
I just fell back into your old trick, your old mind game.
I'm reading these goofy questions.
I'm answering your little questions off the card.
Do I miss Saturday Night?
You never missed anybody or anything.
You got out of Indianapolis and didn't look back.
Oh man, I'm just waiting for the other shoe to fall on you, man.
And I want to be there when it hits the floor.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm going to do nothing about you, even though I could.
You know, it's interesting.
I had a chance to strangle Richard Nixon, and I didn't, and I regret it.
And here I am, inches from, I don't know what's keeping me from doing it.
So, now that you're well known, is it harder to be funny?
No.
Well, it's a little bit different.
You know, you go out to a restaurant and you can't eat, you know, and people
want your
autograph and so forth, and it's hard to eat.
Am I doing?
What's happening?
I swear, Letterman.
If it's the last thing I'm going to do, I'm going to make every second of your
life.
From this moment on, a living hell.
It ended up being great.
And then, of course, Bill returned many other times.
And in 1987, I think it was, when they did Ghostbusters 2, if you watch that,
they say, they mentioned Gamble and Press, which we figured that must have been
Bill.
So, thank you, Bill Murray, for all the laughs you brought us in "Late Night."
And Dave, too, for the employment.
Oh, yes, absolutely.
The best thing that came out of "Late Night" for me is I met my wife, Sandy
Gillis.
And we've been married for 40 years, and we couldn't be happier.
Isn't that right, hon?

Staff Favorite Moments: Writers Tom Gammill & Max Pross | Letterman

Hello, I'm Tom Gamble. I'm Max Pross. And we were at the late night show from
the very
beginning 1982 through most of 1983, and then we left to work with Lorne
Michaels on a short-lived
show called The New Show, which in retrospect was not the best career choice.
Right, Max?
You never know. It might get picked up again. Yeah, but anyways, we laid it on
our feet. Don't
worry about us, folks. We've been working and the phone is ringing off the hook.
But anyways,
we did come back in 1985 and '86 to help Dave with some films, some short films.
One of them,
Dave marries Mrs. Hal Gurney. And so there's some excellent acting by Dave and
Paul in that.
Hal says he can't eat tomatoes because of his sensitive stomach,
but I think he just doesn't like my cooking. Doesn't like your cooking? Doesn't
like your cooking?
Can you Hal Gurney? I remember we shot that at the Francis Tavern,
the oldest restaurant in New York where George Washington hung out. And while
we were shooting
it, I remember Dave just sitting at a table having coffee with us thinking, I
can't believe it,
like George Washington was here and now we're doing this. This is the saddest
thing I've ever seen.
He was so upset that we were like shooting this crazy video at a historic
monument.
And actually the bed scene was shot there too, upstairs.
Yes, yes. Dave in bed with her was shot in like a corner room of the Bronces Tavern.
I think the next clip we want to talk about is something we did early in the
show.
It was at the very end of the show. The show was over and we showed Dave saying
goodbye to everybody.
Yeah, we love the idea that the show was like a traveling carny and people who
came
to see it actually had to buy tickets. And the voice of Ms. Bill Wendel was
Jude.
Dave, we're on our way to a love-in. You want to come?
No, thanks, Paul. I'm going to just hang around here, clean up a little and hit
the hay.
Ah, okay. Have fun though. Good night, Paul. I love you, bro. Will, I love you
too, Will.
I miss you, miss you. I'll see you, Steve.
What a dump. I don't know, his New York audiences are so messy because
this place was spotless this afternoon. It was just, look at this. I'll let the
crew clean up
tomorrow. I got to hit the hay and get some shut eye. Good night, Mr. Melman.
Good night, Dave.
Dave, when do I go on? I'm Dr. Arlene Ginder, the edible plants specialist.
Oh yeah, gee, I'm sorry. We, you know, just ran out of time and you got bumped.
We'll have you on again really soon, though. Maybe tomorrow.
Okay. I'll wait just, I'll wait right here. Okay.
How'd we do? All right then, not bad. We almost broke even.
Yeah? Selling any lemonade? That's not going. Three weeks, not much.
I don't know. I thought the heat and all, you know, we'd sell that stuff.
I think we're going to try cookies. Okay. Good night, Barry.
Okay. 20 lemonade. No, that's all right. Knock yourself out. See you, Hal.
All right, Dave. Good night.
Good night, Paul.
I wonder when John Chancellor is getting back from vacation. It's been quite a
while.
I am neighborhood kids messing with my flowers again. Oh, hi, neighbor.
Hi, Bill. How's it going?
Say, are those little kids around here of a trash yard garden?
No, they pretty much leave me alone, Bill.
Yeah. Oh, incidentally, could I borrow the charcoal grill?
Oh, sure. Take the coals and the starter. It's all yours anytime.
That's very kind. Yeah.
Thanks very much.
Lawn looks great.
I did a lot of work on it.
I know you have, Bill.
Thank you.
Uh-huh. Good night.
Good night, man.
Get in here and go to bed.
Ball and chain.
Lovely woman.
Come here.
Oh, Andy Kaufman and the plant lady.
Yeah, we'll have her on real soon.
Oh, big show tomorrow.
What do we got, a boxer and a music guy?
Yeah, yeah, a lot of work there.
Lights out, Mr. Letterman.
Oh, yeah, sure.
That stupid network, all these damn rules.
And another thing, Wendell, how come you never get to host the show?
At least McMahon gets to sit on the couch.
I wish they'd buy a trailer.
When the show started, I would call my parents and I'd say,
did you watch the show last night?
And they'd say, yes.
And I'd go, well, what do you like about it?
And there'd be a long silence.
And then they'd say, we liked when we saw your name.
But here's the piece they liked because I was in it.
Elevator etiquette, very early on in the show, written by Merrill Marco.
When you live or work in New York City, there is one thing you can be sure of.
You're going to have to spend a lot of time riding elevators.
And with any form of transportation, your ride will be a lot more pleasant.
Your ride will be a lot more pleasant if you learn the rules of elevator etiquette.
For example, when you first get on board the elevator, it's perfectly
acceptable to introduce
yourself to the other passengers.
Give your name and your floor.
Hi, I'm David Letterman, 14th floor.
Marie O'Donnell, 7th floor.
Oh, 7th floor.
That's the commissary floor.
And I guess it's very nice there this time of day, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
14th floor is nice, too.
Hi, Tom Gamble, 2nd floor.
Tom Gamble, 2nd floor.
What a wimp.
Couldn't walk up a flight of stairs?
Every elevator car comes equipped with a standard electrical outlet.
Why is it there, you're asking yourself?
Well, for your personal use, take advantage of it.
Dry your hair?
Yes, thank you.
That's lovely.
How about you?
No, I'm heat sensitive.
He's heat sensitive.
Now, of course, the topic of elevator music.
Is it proper to ask someone to dance?
You bet.
But be considerate.
Always take into account their floor and destination.
Care to dance?
Oh, I guess so.
But only until the 6th floor.
Fine.
He delighted to.
The elevator is a wonderful way to make new friends.
And isn't that what traveling is all about?
Don't mind me.
I'll just dance by myself.
Sure.
Good idea.
When the late night started, Alec Baldwin was an actor on a soap opera called
The Doctors.
And my wife and girlfriend, Sandy Gillis, had worked on The Doctors before she
got promoted
to receptionist at late night.
Alec Baldwin would come up and sit in the lobby visiting my wife, Sandy.
But it was clear he wanted to get on the show.
And I remember one day, Dave came into our office and said, "Why is that
handsome man
with his shirt unbuttoned talking to your girlfriend?"
And I said, "Tom, button your shirt, please."
And we said, "Don't worry, sir.
That's Alec Baldwin.
He's going to be big one of these days."
And it was Jim Downey who said, "This guy is comedy gold."
And he's the one who wrote the piece, the first appearance of Alec Baldwin.
I guess I don't have to tell anyone in this studio audience that next month,
the daytime soap opera, The Doctors, is going off the air.
Now it's always a very -- no, no, no.
This is very sad.
It's very sad when a program ends.
They have been on the air, I believe, 20 years.
Now, naturally, everyone wants to know how will the series come to an end.
And since they taped the show right here in our building, the RCA building, we
thought
that we would go down there to their studio on the third floor and find out.
Now, obviously, I can't go.
I have to stay here and look at the world's most peculiar dogs with you folks.
So, okay, if you watch the monitors, let me give you some information.
Now, this is Alec Baldwin, who portrays Billy Aldrich on The Doctors, or he did.
Alec was secretly investigating how the series would end when his character
was brutally murdered on last Friday's show.
He's young, debonair, and so very, very dead.
You're going to need a guide.
So, ladies and gentlemen, the actor who played Billy on The Doctors
meet now, Alec Baldwin.
Alec?
Alec, thank you very much for being here.
Alec is working for us now since his character on the show was killed off,
and I understand you're bitter.
Is that correct, Alec?
That's right.
I'm bitter, and I'll do anything I can to destroy the doctors as they destroyed
me.
Okay, so on that note of optimism, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to send
you on your mission.
Good luck, and report back to us when you find some information about how the
series comes to a conclusion.
As you know, earlier in the show, we sent two audience members down to the
doctor's
studio along with ex-doctors actor Alec Baldwin.
Their mission has been completed, and they're back with us in the studio to
report on what
they've uncovered.
First of all, Alec, when you left earlier, you seemed to be pretty bitter.
How do you feel now?
Seeing the place where I used to work only made me feel more bitter.
So we had to talk about the very first episode.
It was Bill Murray and Mr. Wizard Don Herbert.
And we knew Bill a little bit because we had worked on Saturday Night Live the
year before.
So he called us up the week before, and he was like, "Look, this has got to be
good.
I can't just go out there and wing it."
So he came in on the Friday before the Monday.
He was going to be on the air.
He called all the writers and a lot of the production people into the writer's
room.
And then he noticed that we had these fluorescent lights.
And he was like, "Oh, guys, we cannot deal with these.
You should not be under these fluorescent lights."
So he made us get all the lamps from the office and bring them in.
And then he also suggested we get some vodka.
So I remember the executive producer coming in.
The whole office is drinking vodka in this dimly lit room.
And he just sort of poked his head in and then closed the door.
I remember even going home on the elevator, getting on the elevator with Dave.
And Dave just looking at me, "You're really drunk, aren't you?"
It's like, "Yeah, it's that bad.
Like, this is an office," you know?
And then because we didn't even finish what we were doing,
Bill Murray said, "No, no, we still don't have enough stuff.
You guys are going to have to come to my house tomorrow, your house."
So me and you and George had to take the train up to Bill Murray.
So I spent the day up at his house upstate working on stuff.
And I just remember thinking, "Man, I love this.
It's fun hanging out with Bill Murray, but are we going to do this with every
guest
on the show?
I know.
Spend days working with him?
We'll die.
This is impossible."
So then one day, it was the day of the first show.
I think he showed up for the dress rehearsal just for a little bit.
But then he disappeared.
And then about three hours before the show, Dave called me and Max into his
office.
We had never been in his office before.
We were sitting on the couch.
And then he picks up the phone.
He calls Meryl and he goes, "Um, could you get in here?
Just get in here."
And he hangs up and Meryl comes in and they go, "Okay, where is Bill?"
And we're like, "We don't know where Bill is."
And then it's like, "Well, is he going to show up?"
It's like, "Oh, sure he's going to show up."
And he showed up about two minutes before the show started.
I hope you don't take any offense.
Offense at what?
Well, I just came in.
You folks in the studio probably don't know this, but I had to go feed.
I had to go back home.
And I came right back and I got caught in traffic.
They were a little nervous out there.
It was no problem.
It's just that I'm not wearing shoes right now.
No, I'm just kidding.
I have shoes.
He did a "Let's Get Physical."
And he did a funny rant yelling at Dave about Mr. Wizard.
Well, I wish that you would quit trying to run my life, Dave.
No, I mean this.
I mean it.
You've got everyone here under your spell.
It's obvious.
You know, you had him doing deep breathing exercises before the show.
I don't like to see it.
I know you're on here in late night where no one can stop you.
But this kind of thing is not going to go on as long as I have some connections
here in this building, the RCA building.
I saw what you did to Mr. Wizard, Don Herbert.
He has the Wizard in his pocket.
And you just can't use science for your own ends, Dave.
You can't play God with people.
When are you going to get off the high horse?
Smell the coffee brewing.
So do you miss Saturday Night Live?
Sure, I miss