Name: Arsenio Hall Makes His Stand-Up Debut On Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-03-05T23:38:45.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Arsenio Hall Makes His Stand-Up Debut On Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Arsenio Hall Makes His Stand-Up Debut On Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-05. Transcript available.

Welcome back. My next guest was the co-host of the Half Hour Comedy Hour on
another network and
will be opening tomorrow night at the Caesars Boardwalk Regency Hotel in
Atlantic City. A
very funny fellow. Please welcome Arsenio Hall. My name is Arsenio. Everybody
say that with me.
Arsenio. Very unique name for a black man. Thank you very much. I kind of like
it. In Greek it
means Leroy. Kind of an interesting translation, I think. Very good name. I
noticed you got
something we got in LA out here now. New walk, don't walk signs. Have you seen
these? The
pictures for walk they have a guy like this. For don't walk they have a kid
with a truck tire on his
head. Kind of self-explanatory. You've seen those. Yes, yes indeed. Read an
interesting book on the
plane. Lady next to me had a book of records and lists and stuff. It was real
weird. I found this
strange when they had the list for the most hated men in the world. Now it was
10 of them. I don't
remember all of them, but number three was Ayatollah Khomeini. Number two was
Adolf
Hitler. And surprisingly, number one was Denny Theriault of Dance Fever, which
kind of surprised me.
Yes, indeed. That's my job, looking for that kind of stuff. Noticing those
things, you know.
Noticing the airports when I'm traveling around. The airport PA systems. Why is
it that you can't
understand these things? You ever listen to the announcers? Everything sounds
like...
It's frightening. It really is. It's kind of strange. I went and complained
when I was at LaGuardia. I went
right up to the guy making the announcements. You know, I said, look, if you're
going to make
announcements, man, why don't you fix the PA so we can understand? You know, it
was frightening.
I didn't know. The guy said, oh, I thought. And I'm wrong. Yeah, I'm wrong. I'm
wrong. I'm wrong, man.
And I'd knock you out. You know, it's like, I didn't know.
Apparently, okay, there's a policeman with his car out there, I think. That's
very good. That's very good.
Do it again. Do it one more time.
One more time.
Yeah, right. Yes.
I work all my life to get on a Letterman show and there's a fat man who does
impressions up here.
Oh, boy.
What can I say?
Anyway.
Oh, boy.
And, you know, it's good because now my next transition will be just perfect.
You know, it'll work right in and just like...
Anyway, so, PA systems.
I read in an article the other day, a thing about Leon Spinks.
He's fighting a new cruiserweight.
And it was weird because I saw Billy Crystal on this show last night and he was
talking about Ali.
These guys, it's amazing.
They have these wonderful careers and they kind of disappear.
Now, Leon, I'm kind of glad he's gone.
I mean, I don't mean to be mean, but as a black man, when Leon would fight, I
never really cared who wanted to fight.
I was usually sitting on my couch at home praying,
God, please don't let Leon get interviewed after this fight is over.
I mean, see, you don't understand, but as a black man, that's 200 years out the
window, okay?
You know what I'm talking about, right?
You all know what I'm talking about?
Yes, indeed.
I don't care who you are.
You can be like a NASA scientist.
When Leon starts talking that serious English on TV, you find yourself out in
the back yard,
Gordon Moses, we're down, you know.
That's the truth.
You all know what I'm talking about.
God knew what he was doing.
He gave us, Leon Spinks gave y'all Billy Carter, right?
It's embarrassing just to see him on TV, you know?
And I'm looking at this article, and they have a picture of Leon's family.
And, like, Leon, we know, has teeth missing, but his wife had teeth missing?
It's the truth.
He had his brother, Michael Spinks, who's a boxer.
He had a tooth missing over here.
They had a dog.
The damn dog didn't have no teeth.
Really, this dog is posing.
There's, like, a car in the background with no grill in the front.
Who are these people?
Oh, thank you.
See, I notice black people on TV, you know.
I mean, what can I say?
I watch commercials a lot.
The way they portray black people on some of these commercials.
I mean, if a white guy walks in McDonald's, there's no dignity lost, right?
You know he's a nice guy with a briefcase.
Hi, could I have a quarter pound or a large fry and a milkshake, please?
You know, that's my Caucasian voice.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
He's a nice guy.
It seems like when a brother goes in...
That's a black man.
When a brother goes in, it's always like a reject from the Soul Train gang or
something.
Have you seen these commercials?
Every brother is always like, I'm hungry!
Good God, gotta have one!
God damn it!
God bless you.
Thank you.
I'm sorry we don't have enough time to talk any further.
Nice job.
Please come back and see us.
Very funny stuff.
Also, my thanks to Christine Kraft and, of course, Shirley Pyland.
I'm sorry we didn't get to talk to Claude.