Name: Chuck Norris Teaches Dave His Martial Arts Secrets | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-03-10T14:09:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chuck Norris Teaches Dave His Martial Arts Secrets | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chuck Norris Teaches Dave His Martial Arts Secrets | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-10. Transcript available.

Thank you and good morning. My next guest, if you happen to see this gentleman
on the beach
this weekend, don't kick sand in this guy's face. He is a karate champ and star
of a new
motion picture called The Octagon. Ladies and gentlemen, here's Chuck Norris.
Hi, Chuck. How are you? Thank you for being here.
Now, is it fair to describe you as the successor to Bruce Lee? Is that an
accurate assessment of
what you do? Well, it's a nice compliment. I don't think my films are in the
same range as Bruce's.
Bruce's films were primarily karate or kung fu movies. I think my movies have a
little more
substance to them. The story's a little more involved. I have tremendous actors
supporting
me and actresses. I've had, you know, Dana Andrews, Jim Bacchus, Lloyd Haynes,
James Franciscus,
Jennifer O'Neill as my backup stars, and Lee Van Cleef in my current film.
Lee Van Cleef is a great nasty guy, isn't he?
He's great. He's a super, super person. He plays a good guy in my movie.
Oh, really?
Yeah, which is unusual. But, yeah, he plays a mercenary, but on the good side.
But he's just got one of those great, I mean, he's a great villain.
He is. He really is.
Or, in this case, he's a great good guy, Chuck. Don't worry. I'm sure it'll
make no difference.
He'll be fine.
No, he's great.
Now, you know, when I would go to these Bruce Lee movies or other martial arts
movies,
they'd be a little silly. The guy would leave his house, I'm going for gum,
honey, and on his
way down to the store, he's, like, besieged by thousands of guys, and they
would be able
to jump, like, 30 and 40 feet in the air.
No, well, my films don't do that. The type of films I want to do is, again,
with a good
story, with good acting, with good direction, and with martial arts scenes
inserted when
it's emotionally right. Meaning that when I, there's no other choice but for me
to use
the ability that I have. Because that's the difference between violence and
action.
It's the philosophy of when you use it. And it's, if a person tries to avoid a
violent
confrontation, but he's finally pushed into the corner where there's no way out,
well,
then we want to have the ability to cope with it. And that's basically the
character I project
on the screen. It's the guy that tries to avoid it.
Now, which came first for you, acting, or I'm guessing it's the other way
around?
It's the way, yeah, it's definitely the other way around. No, I've been in
karate for
22 years. I've been in acting now a little over four years. So, I'm still very
green as an actor.
About five or six years ago, it became aware to me that I was the only one in
the world who
did not know karate. Is the world in danger of coming to an end in one massive
karate fight?
And I'll, I mean, you know what I mean? It's like, are there too many guns? Do
too many people know
karate? You know what I'm saying? No, actually, it would be great if everyone
did know it because
there'd be less violence, because of the philosophy that's projected into your
training. Everyone
thinks of karate strictly as a physical application, but what it does is it
strengthens you mentally,
psychologically, and emotionally, because most violence is stemmed from
insecurity, trying to
prove something to yourself. And when a person develops this inner security and
this goal-seeking
knowledge that the martial arts teaches you to do, it overcomes a lot of
violent confrontations.
Let me ask you. I've never used it. Let me ask you something. I know nothing
about defending myself.
Right. And since I've been in New York, there have been times when I thought
maybe I was going to
have to. I'll give you a quick example. One night, I was trying to get my dog
to throw up because he'd
eaten too many pills. This is not true. Honest to God. That has nothing to do
with it, but my dog's getting
sick. And in the middle of all of this, a guy, a complete stranger, walks into
my house. I don't know who he
is. I have no idea why he's there. And it irritated me. So I went running down
the stairs and I started
screaming at the guy. I was livid. And he just stood there. He was not
frightened by me at all.
He was kind enough to leave. But it occurred to me later, that was probably a
dumb thing for me to do.
Now, what I need to know from you, is there a way I can tell if a guy is
tougher than I am without
laying a hand on him? You know what I'm saying? I mean, can you tell by looking
at a guy that he's
tough? Well, you can ask him, you know. It's hard to say, Dave, because it's a
feeling. It's not a,
it's a something that's in the eye. You know, it's amazing that the people that
are very,
very good in the martial arts never have to use it because it's an attitude.
Really,
it's an attitude that really either draws trouble to you or pushes trouble away.
And,
because I've been at it 22 years and I've never had to use it.
Really? Is that right? And I have been everywhere all over the world. I've been
in the roughest areas you can think of imaginable. And it's a respect thing. If
you respect someone,
they will respect you. Chuck Norris is here. And I guess what we're going to do
first,
you're going to show me how you simulate action in one of those scenes we just
saw. Nobody gets hurt in
one of those. Well, not all the time. Sometimes we have a few injuries in octagon,
but generally.
What kind of injuries were they? Well, I knocked three guys out in a row in a
fight scene.
What happened is the first guy was not one of my regular guys I fight with. And
I hit him.
Was it a guy delivering each or something? No, he was a stuntman.
No, he was a stuntman. He wasn't used to taking that. Because I do make contact,
generally, in my films. But my guys are conditioned to it. And this guy wasn't.
And when I hit him,
I knocked him out. And then I was thinking about, "Oh my gosh, I've hurt him."
Then my second guy attacked.
And I lost my train of thought. And I reacted out of instinct. And I kicked and
knocked him out.
And my third guy was my brother. And my brother said, "Oh my gosh, he's lost
his concentration." And
he jumped out. And I knocked him and hit him in the head and knocked him out.
And the fourth guy
was on top and said, "I'm not going down there." But after the second guy went
out cold,
didn't you kind of see a trend forming there? Yeah, but it happens so fast. It
happens very,
very fast. You don't have time to really think. It has to be a spontaneous
reaction. You got all the
time you need to think here this morning. But actually, normally though, Dave,
is you
do miss by a very close range. Okay, you're going to show us that,
right? Yes. Okay. And what do you want me to do?
Just stand there. No, actually, when you do make contact or when you do a fight
scene in a movie,
the main thing is, generally, the camera will be behind you. So the distance,
there's no depth
perception in your kick. Say that again? The camera is... Yeah, generally, the
camera would be behind.
So when I throw a kick, if I throw a kick, see, right into here. Well, see, I
missed by just about
a quarter of an inch. And so when the camera... So when he... David reacted to
that, if he would have
reacted like he'd gotten hit, see, the camera, it would have been a hit on
camera. It would have
looked pretty good. It would look pretty good. Now, when do they get the noise
in there? How do they
put that in? Oh, the key... Well, generally, we go into a dubbing room. But
many times when I do it,
I'll do that. I'll go... Right, right into here, like this here.
Or, you know, or a punch, same thing with a punch. See, right into here, like
this here, you know?
So, but anyway, if that's how he reacts, I throw the punch that close, he snaps
his head back,
and it's a hit on film. Gee. Okay, now, we got that out of the way. Let's...
If somebody needs to defend his or herself, what can we do?
Now, my problem with this is, even if I had thugs come in here now and surprise
you,
could you handle them, honestly, do you think? Well, I'd hope I wouldn't have
to, but the thing is,
if I'm pushed into the corner, like you were telling me a story earlier, where
a guy was in
the corner, and they're yelling, "I'm gonna stab him in the stomach." Yeah, the
party at my house.
Right. But a situation, if someone walks up to you and he has a gun, he says, "Chuck,"
he says,
"Give me your wallet." I said, "Sure." You know, I give you my wallet. I said,
"You wanna... I'll write
your check, too, if you want." But if he says, "I'm gonna shoot you," well,
then you have nothing to lose,
right? Then it's nice to have this ability to try to get out of a situation
like that. But you don't use it
unless it's absolutely necessary. But what I've always wondered, does it become
second nature?
Oh, sure. Of course it is. Oh, absolutely. Show me. Now, could a woman do what
we're gonna do?
Of course. Okay. Show me what to do. About 30% of my enrollment are women. Okay.
All right. Let's get over here so they can see. Let's say, any time someone
walks up to you,
and you feel like there's gonna be a violent confrontation, you never face them
straight on,
because all this is a very vulnerable area. So you always turn it slightly at a
slight angle. So turn
about right there, a slight angle, right this here. Now it's a less target for
him to strike at.
Always keep your hands relaxed at your side, so you're ready to react. See,
when you say relax,
could you relax if that happened? I'm serious. What would you do, Frank? Would
you?
That's the key. You gotta... Well, we practice that too. See, what we do,
our philosophy is if someone's going to attack us, we run until he gets tired,
and then we turn around,
we beat him up. See, that's... No. No, but actually, let's get serious here.
Now, in a real situation though, Dave, if someone does come up to you and you
think there's gonna be a
confrontation, then you would turn at a slight angle. Okay, turn, turn around.
Right. Now your hands
are ready and ready to defend or ready to attack. Okay? He's ready. So now, if
I threw a punch,
most people, when they throw a punch, they draw back and they telegraph it. So
as they do,
then as I throw the punch, Dave, the first thing we'd do is block. That's what
karate is,
is warding off an attack by blocking right into here. Soon as he blocked,
rather than drawing back
like most people do, by way back here, it comes right from the hip. The power
comes from the hip,
and it brings right here, and then the punch goes right into the stomach. Now,
even that hurts.
But as soon as you hit him in the stomach, right into here, naturally, that may
knock the wind out of
him, but it may not be enough to drop him to the ground. So then you would grab
both of his shoulders,
that one and this one here. The right foot then would come behind my right leg,
right into here. Now,
what you're doing is breaking his balance. Now, what I want you to do, I want
you to pull down as hard as
you can with the left, and push with the right. Hard! Oh! There you go. Right
in there.
Now, but a woman, now, I guess you and I weigh similar weights, but could a
woman, say,
who weighs maybe 50 or 60 pounds lighter than a thug? You see, a woman has an
advantage that we don't
have. A thug expects a woman to either scream, scratch, you know, things like
this here. He is not ready for
her to retaliate in a very aggressive manner. And when a woman learns the
martial arts and a guy comes
up, first of all, the main thing you have must develop is an awareness of what's
going on around
you. That's the key thing in anything. In the martial arts, it teaches you to
be aware of situations
around you. Ninety percent of the time, you can get out of a situation if you're
aware of what's going
on. But most people walk with blinders on, and they walk right into a situation.
But if a woman is
accosted, a guy with journey of heel tack, if she knows how to use the
different parts of her body as a
weapon, it's very, very effective. If a man walks up and starts to grab you by
the throat or whatever
it may be, there's many parts, the knee to the groin, elbow to the jaw, uh,
many, many situations here.
Can we show something here real quick? Sure, yeah. Uh, well, first of all, okay,
it's a woman, a guy grabs right in here. Well, first thing you do is you'd neem.
As soon as you neem,
then you come up here and grab right by the hair and then take it right to the
ground.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Twice that's happened.
Now, that's twice that's happened. You get, I've done one of these before with
a little old man, and they
do that to you, and for just a fleeting second, everything gets warm and fuzzy,
you know?
And you know, you're seconds away from the twilight zone. Ah, good heavens.
But, but it does work, Dave. That's the great thing about it. It does work.
Now, how long would a course would it take before it becomes second nature? If
a woman wants to sign
up or I wanted to sign up? It's hard to say because it depends on how much you
put into it. It's like
anything you get involved in. The more you apply yourself, the faster you're
going to develop it.
But it's not an overnight thing. It takes time and it takes dedication, but the
end result is great.
Okay, terrific. Good luck with your film. Thank you, Dave.
Chuck Norris, ladies and gentlemen. We'll be back with Edwin Newman and the NBC
News Report.

Chuck Norris Teaches Dave His Martial Arts Secrets | Letterman

Thank you and good morning. My next guest, if you happen to see this gentleman
on the beach
this weekend, don't kick sand in this guy's face. He is a karate champ and star
of a new
motion picture called The Octagon. Ladies and gentlemen, here's Chuck Norris.
Hi, Chuck. How are you? Thank you for being here.
Now, is it fair to describe you as the successor to Bruce Lee? Is that an
accurate assessment of
what you do? Well, it's a nice compliment. I don't think my films are in the
same range as Bruce's.
Bruce's films were primarily karate or kung fu movies. I think my movies have a
little more
substance to them. The story's a little more involved. I have tremendous actors
supporting
me and actresses. I've had, you know, Dana Andrews, Jim Bacchus, Lloyd Haynes,
James Franciscus,
Jennifer O'Neill as my backup stars, and Lee Van Cleef in my current film.
Lee Van Cleef is a great nasty guy, isn't he?
He's great. He's a super, super person. He plays a good guy in my movie.
Oh, really?
Yeah, which is unusual. But, yeah, he plays a mercenary, but on the good side.
But he's just got one of those great, I mean, he's a great villain.
He is. He really is.
Or, in this case, he's a great good guy, Chuck. Don't worry. I'm sure it'll
make no difference.
He'll be fine.
No, he's great.
Now, you know, when I would go to these Bruce Lee movies or other martial arts
movies,
they'd be a little silly. The guy would leave his house, I'm going for gum,
honey, and on his
way down to the store, he's, like, besieged by thousands of guys, and they
would be able
to jump, like, 30 and 40 feet in the air.
No, well, my films don't do that. The type of films I want to do is, again,
with a good
story, with good acting, with good direction, and with martial arts scenes
inserted when
it's emotionally right. Meaning that when I, there's no other choice but for me
to use
the ability that I have. Because that's the difference between violence and
action.
It's the philosophy of when you use it. And it's, if a person tries to avoid a
violent
confrontation, but he's finally pushed into the corner where there's no way out,
well,
then we want to have the ability to cope with it. And that's basically the
character I project
on the screen. It's the guy that tries to avoid it.
Now, which came first for you, acting, or I'm guessing it's the other way
around?
It's the way, yeah, it's definitely the other way around. No, I've been in
karate for
22 years. I've been in acting now a little over four years. So, I'm still very
green as an actor.
About five or six years ago, it became aware to me that I was the only one in
the world who
did not know karate. Is the world in danger of coming to an end in one massive
karate fight?
And I'll, I mean, you know what I mean? It's like, are there too many guns? Do
too many people know
karate? You know what I'm saying? No, actually, it would be great if everyone
did know it because
there'd be less violence, because of the philosophy that's projected into your
training. Everyone
thinks of karate strictly as a physical application, but what it does is it
strengthens you mentally,
psychologically, and emotionally, because most violence is stemmed from
insecurity, trying to
prove something to yourself. And when a person develops this inner security and
this goal-seeking
knowledge that the martial arts teaches you to do, it overcomes a lot of
violent confrontations.
Let me ask you. I've never used it. Let me ask you something. I know nothing
about defending myself.
Right. And since I've been in New York, there have been times when I thought
maybe I was going to
have to. I'll give you a quick example. One night, I was trying to get my dog
to throw up because he'd
eaten too many pills. This is not true. Honest to God. That has nothing to do
with it, but my dog's getting
sick. And in the middle of all of this, a guy, a complete stranger, walks into
my house. I don't know who he
is. I have no idea why he's there. And it irritated me. So I went running down
the stairs and I started
screaming at the guy. I was livid. And he just stood there. He was not
frightened by me at all.
He was kind enough to leave. But it occurred to me later, that was probably a
dumb thing for me to do.
Now, what I need to know from you, is there a way I can tell if a guy is
tougher than I am without
laying a hand on him? You know what I'm saying? I mean, can you tell by looking
at a guy that he's
tough? Well, you can ask him, you know. It's hard to say, Dave, because it's a
feeling. It's not a,
it's a something that's in the eye. You know, it's amazing that the people that
are very,
very good in the martial arts never have to use it because it's an attitude.
Really,
it's an attitude that really either draws trouble to you or pushes trouble away.
And,
because I've been at it 22 years and I've never had to use it.
Really? Is that right? And I have been everywhere all over the world. I've been
in the roughest areas you can think of imaginable. And it's a respect thing. If
you respect someone,
they will respect you. Chuck Norris is here. And I guess what we're going to do
first,
you're going to show me how you simulate action in one of those scenes we just
saw. Nobody gets hurt in
one of those. Well, not all the time. Sometimes we have a few injuries in octagon,
but generally.
What kind of injuries were they? Well, I knocked three guys out in a row in a
fight scene.
What happened is the first guy was not one of my regular guys I fight with. And
I hit him.
Was it a guy delivering each or something? No, he was a stuntman.
No, he was a stuntman. He wasn't used to taking that. Because I do make contact,
generally, in my films. But my guys are conditioned to it. And this guy wasn't.
And when I hit him,
I knocked him out. And then I was thinking about, "Oh my gosh, I've hurt him."
Then my second guy attacked.
And I lost my train of thought. And I reacted out of instinct. And I kicked and
knocked him out.
And my third guy was my brother. And my brother said, "Oh my gosh, he's lost
his concentration." And
he jumped out. And I knocked him and hit him in the head and knocked him out.
And the fourth guy
was on top and said, "I'm not going down there." But after the second guy went
out cold,
didn't you kind of see a trend forming there? Yeah, but it happens so fast. It
happens very,
very fast. You don't have time to really think. It has to be a spontaneous
reaction. You got all the
time you need to think here this morning. But actually, normally though, Dave,
is you
do miss by a very close range. Okay, you're going to show us that,
right? Yes. Okay. And what do you want me to do?
Just stand there. No, actually, when you do make contact or when you do a fight
scene in a movie,
the main thing is, generally, the camera will be behind you. So the distance,
there's no depth
perception in your kick. Say that again? The camera is... Yeah, generally, the
camera would be behind.
So when I throw a kick, if I throw a kick, see, right into here. Well, see, I
missed by just about
a quarter of an inch. And so when the camera... So when he... David reacted to
that, if he would have
reacted like he'd gotten hit, see, the camera, it would have been a hit on
camera. It would have
looked pretty good. It would look pretty good. Now, when do they get the noise
in there? How do they
put that in? Oh, the key... Well, generally, we go into a dubbing room. But
many times when I do it,
I'll do that. I'll go... Right, right into here, like this here.
Or, you know, or a punch, same thing with a punch. See, right into here, like
this here, you know?
So, but anyway, if that's how he reacts, I throw the punch that close, he snaps
his head back,
and it's a hit on film. Gee. Okay, now, we got that out of the way. Let's...
If somebody needs to defend his or herself, what can we do?
Now, my problem with this is, even if I had thugs come in here now and surprise
you,
could you handle them, honestly, do you think? Well, I'd hope I wouldn't have
to, but the thing is,
if I'm pushed into the corner, like you were telling me a story earlier, where
a guy was in
the corner, and they're yelling, "I'm gonna stab him in the stomach." Yeah, the
party at my house.
Right. But a situation, if someone walks up to you and he has a gun, he says, "Chuck,"
he says,
"Give me your wallet." I said, "Sure." You know, I give you my wallet. I said,
"You wanna... I'll write
your check, too, if you want." But if he says, "I'm gonna shoot you," well,
then you have nothing to lose,
right? Then it's nice to have this ability to try to get out of a situation
like that. But you don't use it
unless it's absolutely necessary. But what I've always wondered, does it become
second nature?
Oh, sure. Of course it is. Oh, absolutely. Show me. Now, could a woman do what
we're gonna do?
Of course. Okay. Show me what to do. About 30% of my enrollment are women. Okay.
All right. Let's get over here so they can see. Let's say, any time someone
walks up to you,
and you feel like there's gonna be a violent confrontation, you never face them
straight on,
because all this is a very vulnerable area. So you always turn it slightly at a
slight angle. So turn
about right there, a slight angle, right this here. Now it's a less target for
him to strike at.
Always keep your hands relaxed at your side, so you're ready to react. See,
when you say relax,
could you relax if that happened? I'm serious. What would you do, Frank? Would
you?
That's the key. You gotta... Well, we practice that too. See, what we do,
our philosophy is if someone's going to attack us, we run until he gets tired,
and then we turn around,
we beat him up. See, that's... No. No, but actually, let's get serious here.
Now, in a real situation though, Dave, if someone does come up to you and you
think there's gonna be a
confrontation, then you would turn at a slight angle. Okay, turn, turn around.
Right. Now your hands
are ready and ready to defend or ready to attack. Okay? He's ready. So now, if
I threw a punch,
most people, when they throw a punch, they draw back and they telegraph it. So
as they do,
then as I throw the punch, Dave, the first thing we'd do is block. That's what
karate is,
is warding off an attack by blocking right into here. Soon as he blocked,
rather than drawing back
like most people do, by way back here, it comes right from the hip. The power
comes from the hip,
and it brings right here, and then the punch goes right into the stomach. Now,
even that hurts.
But as soon as you hit him in the stomach, right into here, naturally, that may
knock the wind out of
him, but it may not be enough to drop him to the ground. So then you would grab
both of his shoulders,
that one and this one here. The right foot then would come behind my right leg,
right into here. Now,
what you're doing is breaking his balance. Now, what I want you to do, I want
you to pull down as hard as
you can with the left, and push with the right. Hard! Oh! There you go. Right
in there.
Now, but a woman, now, I guess you and I weigh similar weights, but could a
woman, say,
who weighs maybe 50 or 60 pounds lighter than a thug? You see, a woman has an
advantage that we don't
have. A thug expects a woman to either scream, scratch, you know, things like
this here. He is not ready for
her to retaliate in a very aggressive manner. And when a woman learns the
martial arts and a guy comes
up, first of all, the main thing you have must develop is an awareness of what's
going on around
you. That's the key thing in anything. In the martial arts, it teaches you to
be aware of situations
around you. Ninety percent of the time, you can get out of a situation if you're
aware of what's going
on. But most people walk with blinders on, and they walk right into a situation.
But if a woman is
accosted, a guy with journey of heel tack, if she knows how to use the
different parts of her body as a
weapon, it's very, very effective. If a man walks up and starts to grab you by
the throat or whatever
it may