Name: Dave's Small Town News: Suspicious Man With Dead Squirrel | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-03-13T15:09:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Small Town News: Suspicious Man With Dead Squirrel | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Small Town News: Suspicious Man With Dead Squirrel | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-13. Transcript available.

it's uh small town news night ladies and gentlemen what we've done here
we have uh newspapers from all over the country some from small cities some
from medium cities
some even from large cities and we like to uh peruse them and find the
interesting little items
and pass them along to you the viewer at just pennies a serving by the way all
right uh this
comes to us from uh i guess we don't know exactly where this comes a a
newspaper the bass river
chiropractic emergency care usually available the same day
but ladies and gentlemen to be on the safe side please try to schedule those
medical emergencies
well in advance uh this is from a newspaper called today's sunbeam that's very
nice you know where that
is today's sunbeam that's right ma'am salem new jersey uh notice carney's point
residence by order of the
chief of police chalk night soap night and mischief night have been canceled in
carney's point township
william t luzzo senior oh yeah what's next chief luzzo no christmas
the hell would soap night be
uh this is the times news from twin falls idaho have you been to twin falls it
sounds like it's a
beautiful city is it a nice place okay are you what are you what are you doing
in new york yeah
he's visiting for those of you who didn't get the answer and we'll write in
tomorrow for the transcript of
the show
you know they never said what that kid from twin falls was doing in town i'm
i'm gonna send mr tinker a letter oh i'm holding the wrong side up which has
been the story of my life now
this is uh a sports item briefly in sports and we drop down to the second there
you go
under the salvage rules the public may take fish by snagging spearing archery
dip net or with the hands
use of toxic chemicals explosives firearms or electric current is prohibited
once again a meddling bureaucracy puts an end to one of life's simple pleasures
this is from the also from today's sunbeam salem new jersey
and there is an advertisement for a restaurant visit hancock's harbor bait box
restaurant
you know if i had to pick two words that conjure up images of fine dining
i'm pretty sure they would be bait box
yes where nothing goes to waste it's the bait box
okay
this is from the press gazette clinton county iowa and we have this marked in
uh
blue pen there it's an advertisement let me try and straighten that up oh hell
just move your sets
i i'm so tired i don't have the strength to straighten it do it at home
the ad reads free hooded quilted jacket with a three-ton purchase of any of our
pig starting products
not a bad deal with 18 tons you can outfit the entire family for the winner
pig starting products i guess it would be a good battery and a set of jumper
cables
this comes to us from the the blotter of uh a newspaper called clarence b
buffalo new york is anybody why would they name a newspaper b there's also the
sacramento b isn't
they're very famous a man actually said
folks are desperate for entertainment i read off the list of newspapers and
people are swooning it's
unbelievable ladies and gentlemen uh okay here we go from the clarence b
buffalo new york
and you can see the headline there man with dead squirrel is suspicious
and the item says eric county uh should be erie or eric is that erie erie thank
you very much erie
county sheriff's deputies were called to investigate an incident where a
suspicious
person was seen running east on main street the subject wasn't wearing any
shirt or shoes and was
carrying a dead squirrel sure just because somebody does something a little
different right away he's
branded as suspicious
yeah all right and finally do we have time for one more okay we have we have
time for one more
this comes from the florida times union in jacksonville florida it's an
advertisement
are you embarrassed by household odors from dead bodies to pet odors
call today for free consultation
i don't know about you but whenever i come home and there's a dead body in the
house
the first thing i want is a consultation
all right that's uh small town news we have a uh let me tell you who's with us
tonight we have a
uh old buddy hackett uh our friend larry