Name: Will Ferrell Is Very Serious About St. Patrick's Day | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-03-17T13:52:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Will Ferrell Is Very Serious About St. Patrick's Day | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Will Ferrell Is Very Serious About St. Patrick's Day | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-17. Transcript available.

look at this guy
that's about right yeah
thank you will i just would like to say earlier today
yeah when i was told that you were coming out dressed as a leprechaun i said to
myself well
that'll be stupid but you look like a billion dollars my friend thank you you
really do thank
you so this tells me that you're irish you're celebrating anything goes well i
don't know if
i'm celebrating um because saint patrick's day is a very serious holiday to me
you know we know of it as getting drunk and drinking green beer but we forget
that in the
fifth century the real saint patrick he chased all the snakes out of ireland so
we do we do forget that
we do we do forget that every saint patrick's day i put on my outfit
and i walked the streets of new york
and i was like oh my god i'm not sure how many snakes are in the same way i'm
not sure how many snakes are in the same way
try to guess how many snake attacks just in last year alone in manhattan in manhattan
wow i uh i'm gonna guess and don't take this the wrong way i'm gonna guess it's
a low number 36 000
try to guess how many snake attacks just in last year alone in manhattan in manhattan
wow i uh i'm
gonna guess and don't take this the wrong way i'm gonna guess it's a low number
36 000.
there's a snake attack that occurs in this city every nine seconds now check
check under your
seats ladies and gentlemen how would of course i wouldn't know that the media
doesn't want you to
know that but i'm out there i'm out there every saint patrick's day wow god
bless you is all i can say
and it's tough you know of course so have you yourself ever been attacked by a
snake
well no because i know the tactics to get away from a snake yeah and i know you
know i know the
certain parts of the city not to hang out i see oh the snakes are limited to a
certain part of the city
certain areas of population density that you want to stay away from i see um
but uh but it's it's
happened several times we've come very close very close yeah yeah yeah yeah now
are you what they call
a herpetologist uh no no i'm just concerned about concerned citizen citizen and
uh and don't stay at the w hotel
that's the one place okay a lot of snake infestations all right the one the one
the one downtown okay
thanks talking square park thank you for that yeah yeah now uh if i can uh talk
about uh that
haven't been said happy saint patrick's oh same yeah thank you very much yeah i
you do look great
it's super comfortable i'm not gonna lie no it's nice and i think people should
walk around in
leggings more often yeah wearing it more than just saint patrick's day with it
uh now now this thing
that you did you played major league baseball in the cactus league this is arizona
training camp
for how many different teams this was last thursday i played for 10 different
teams 10 different teams
yeah 10 different positions uh nine positions as well as dh-ing uh now i would
like to point out
here that i know in high school you were a pretty good athlete pretty good yeah
hit 390 my senior year
wow 18 hits 18 strikeouts um all singles it's all right slap the ball around
the field yeah and what
positions you play uh left field right field center left field pretty fleet of
pretty pretty fleet of
foot pretty fleet of foot yeah okay so now now we're not kidding around these
spring training games
they're serious because everybody's fighting for a position on the roster these
were real major league
baseball games we were commemorating the 50-year anniversary of bert campanaris
who for the kansas
city a's uh played all nine positions in a in a major league game and we were
uh we were doing that
we were raising money for uh cancer for college my friend craig's charity which
uh we give college
scholarships that's great cancer survivors and and and a wonderful thing to do
yeah
and uh so so people who have succeeded in in their uh battle against cancer
right are now given
scholarships who want to continue their lives and their uh studies that's that's
a wonderful thing
and this was a great way to uh raise money so i played uh uh uh and there were
moments that were
terrifying i'm not gonna lie to you yeah uh trying to hit a 90 mile an hour
fastball it's next to
impossible well of course and and they don't ease up because the last thing
they want to do is hurt
themselves yeah well or give a give up a hit to movie boy right right and the
other intimidating
thing is when they smile at you on the mound they just smile a a sly smile yeah
and then they throw it
as hard as they can yeah yeah yeah now uh give us the highs and lows of the
experience the highs i
probably uh were uh getting a foul tip i actually fell tipped so you made some
contact a dribbler down
the right field i don't think it made it past first base all right you got some
wood on it that's all
we care about the low light was probably playing left field for the diamondbacks
uh i entered the game
they were down nine one when i left we were losing 12 to one after four
consecutive balls were hit to
me out in the outfield uh but they can't blame you for that for god's sake they
can't but the manager
did he did yeah he issued it really he was he was asked in a press conference
afterwards what did you
think of the event he's like i don't like it yeah when farrell came in we gave
up three runs because
of him yeah but they were they were balls that a major leaguer would have
gotten to but i'm just too
damn slow well yeah uh but and then i tried to joke around with the guys oh did
they like that no they
didn't like it they don't like it at all yeah yeah i said come on guys here we
go yeah little 11 run
rally we can do it right and no one would look at me you'd look at you yeah
yeah so what are you doing
then because you're you're i just walked over to the reds dugout because that
was the next team i'm
supposed to play for and then i told the reds this dugout is a lot more fun you
don't want to be over there
so well uh and how did you feel physically at the end of that day that's a grueling
experience
you know i felt okay i did take a uh a bath in tiger balm
oh no but you can't do that no no no well i know it now yeah yeah i didn't know
it then i didn't
i didn't know that stuff was illegal myself oh my goodness we got some shipped
in yeah from from out
of the country i did okay i did okay yeah you look great in those uniforms
thank you and i'm beginning
to think that any uniform you look great in but you really look like a big leaguer
well i'm still hoping
for a call dave oh yeah sure i feel like i turned some heads yeah i bet it'd be
coming in but your
boys must have been thrilled they loved it they got to be bat boys for the dodgers
and uh even though
my oldest boy noticed he kept saying anytime there was a rowdy fan he'd turn to
my wife and go mama
it's a good lesson for us all you know what else i enjoyed was uh uh and there
there are many lovely
moments on the saturday night live uh 40th anniversary paul paul schaefer was
featured with
our good friend bill murray and you of course were on uh jeopardy yeah that was
great yeah and what uh
what what do you remember from that night i mean it was crazy three hours of
non-stop big-time
comedy uh kind of you know a wonderful experience very surreal to get everyone
together in that one
room uh you know and i had to i had to rush backstage i couldn't sit out there
for the beginning of the
show because they wanted me to get ready for the jeopardy sketch but as soon as
i got ready i i got
back out into the studio because i wanted to watch at least watch the monologue
and here comes steve martin
and you know to to be the you know de facto host for that moment and kick off
the show and i look up
and there's bill o'reilly everyone's just clapping and bill rise like this
really what's the problem i don't know i don't know if you got a wrong seating
assignment or
something or what but just a real sourpuss yeah do you know bill o'reilly i
know i've never met him
um that's too bad yeah but it seems from what i've seen happy-go-lucky yeah
really yeah
just a real charmer yeah yeah yeah that's hard to explain yeah but uh yeah he
he i don't know what
he was doing there if he wasn't a fan of saturday night live exactly and maybe
he was maybe just
really a student of comedy yeah and he didn't want it yeah that's what he was
studying maybe he's just
going that's funny yeah that's funny uh well that that kind of take the gas out
of the room a little
bit if you were focused on him yeah for sure uh but but otherwise incredible
night and uh uh it's it's
wonderful that that show uh has been the birthplace of so much tremendous
comedy and continues continues
no slowing down speaking of tremendous comedy i thought the combination of you
and kevin hart
was fantastic it must have been great fun i mean the energy this kid has yeah
he's got a lot of energy
yeah he's uh but he's super super funny guy uh but it must have been great fun
working with him
and like i said the the chemistry on on the screen is fantastic you uh playing
kind of a i don't know
how would you describe kind of a dimwit not a dimwit a little bit of a a good
nature dimwit um forget i
said dimwit just played a regular guy yeah a regular i'm i'm a a hedge fund guy
who's really a financial
genius but doesn't have any social skills whatsoever like a savant a savant
yeah yeah and uh um and i find
out that i've i've been uh accused of embezzling 200 million dollars and i'm
about to go into maximum
security prison you're right you've been set up bamboozled bamboozled to be
father in law and kevin
is going to help me uh get ready for the situation he's going to help you get
ready to go away to
prison right for thirty thousand dollars and then and then the uh the fun
begins right now uh well it
seems to me like there was so he how much of that was you guys just doing it uh
doing what
no uh you know now wait a minute no no no none of that
kevin and i when when we did it we
we just had a lot of fun yeah yeah and we listened to each other which is when
you're doing it you should
listen to each other you know when you're getting the laughs yeah yeah that's
that's yeah well that's
i guess what i was talking about yeah yeah um yeah and and and uh we have a
well with off of each
other oh yeah and a nice kid nice kid and he's um he's significantly shorter
than i am
and that that gives uh some of the comedy the physical disparity between us
it's the kind of thing bill reilly would love this kind of the examination of
comedy bill bill's not
he's he's gonna think this movie's so funny he's just gonna be completely
silent yeah yeah
you know we were talking about baseball earlier did i miss my opportunity for
some harry carey no no
st louis cardinals and the chicago cubs
harry carey uh beloved beloved end of the season 1998 last game well we saw
some great things today
some were terrific some were inspiring it's too bad today's win didn't give us
a pennant
but i'm sure that in the near future as sure as god's green apples this cubs
team's gonna make a world series
i don't know who the manager's gonna be but it's gotta be someone who can
handle veterans
we got a mixture of young guys and veterans
well you want to listen to the veterans because they teach the young guys
exactly exactly it's like
a cycle of life you didn't say that what what about the ernie banks
one of the great cubs of all time passed away yeah yeah yeah yeah well uh uh it's
it's nice to know
that the cubs have been in the world series many many times since then
this year's the year i feel it okay i i played for the cubs i played first base
yeah in this and
on thursday you liked what you saw i gave them a pep talk like guys we can do
it this year
and they shook their heads let's um you know i i can't leave you without yes
there there there's
something that i do in my youth program when i'm educating people about snakes
oh this is part of
the youth program yeah and there's a version of of of an irish classic that i'd
love to sing to
you if that's all right yes i'm so sorry i completely no it's fine if you'll
indulge me oh i love it
oh danny boy the snakes the snakes are calling from the upper east side and
down from chinatown
don't walk the high line and stay away from dumbo because in dumbo the snakes
wear skinny jeans
i wear this outfit on every saint patrick's day and people laugh and throw
potatoes at me
but all i want is tourists to know about the dangers of snakes oh danny boy oh
danny boy watch out for snakes
the great will ferrell ladies and gentlemen god bless you

Will Ferrell Is Very Serious About St. Patrick's Day | Letterman

look at this guy
that's about right yeah
thank you will i just would like to say earlier today
yeah when i was told that you were coming out dressed as a leprechaun i said to
myself well
that'll be stupid but you look like a billion dollars my friend thank you you
really do thank
you so this tells me that you're irish you're celebrating anything goes well i
don't know if
i'm celebrating um because saint patrick's day is a very serious holiday to me
you know we know of it as getting drunk and drinking green beer but we forget
that in the
fifth century the real saint patrick he chased all the snakes out of ireland so
we do we do forget that
we do we do forget that every saint patrick's day i put on my outfit
and i walked the streets of new york
and i was like oh my god i'm not sure how many snakes are in the same way i'm
not sure how many snakes are in the same way
try to guess how many snake attacks just in last year alone in manhattan in manhattan
wow i uh i'm gonna guess and don't take this the wrong way i'm gonna guess it's
a low number 36 000
try to guess how many snake attacks just in last year alone in manhattan in manhattan
wow i uh i'm
gonna guess and don't take this the wrong way i'm gonna guess it's a low number
36 000.
there's a snake attack that occurs in this city every nine seconds now check
check under your
seats ladies and gentlemen how would of course i wouldn't know that the media
doesn't want you to
know that but i'm out there i'm out there every saint patrick's day wow god
bless you is all i can say
and it's tough you know of course so have you yourself ever been attacked by a
snake
well no because i know the tactics to get away from a snake yeah and i know you
know i know the
certain parts of the city not to hang out i see oh the snakes are limited to a
certain part of the city
certain areas of population density that you want to stay away from i see um
but uh but it's it's
happened several times we've come very close very close yeah yeah yeah yeah now
are you what they call
a herpetologist uh no no i'm just concerned about concerned citizen citizen and
uh and don't stay at the w hotel
that's the one place okay a lot of snake infestations all right the one the one
the one downtown okay
thanks talking square park thank you for that yeah yeah now uh if i can uh talk
about uh that
haven't been said happy saint patrick's oh same yeah thank you very much yeah i
you do look great
it's super comfortable i'm not gonna lie no it's nice and i think people should
walk around in
leggings more often yeah wearing it more than just saint patrick's day with it
uh now now this thing
that you did you played major league baseball in the cactus league this is arizona
training camp
for how many different teams this was last thursday i played for 10 different
teams 10 different teams
yeah 10 different positions uh nine positions as well as dh-ing uh now i would
like to point out
here that i know in high school you were a pretty good athlete pretty good yeah
hit 390 my senior year
wow 18 hits 18 strikeouts um all singles it's all right slap the ball around
the field yeah and what
positions you play uh left field right field center left field pretty fleet of
pretty pretty fleet of
foot pretty fleet of foot yeah okay so now now we're not kidding around these
spring training games
they're serious because everybody's fighting for a position on the roster these
were real major league
baseball games we were commemorating the 50-year anniversary of bert campanaris
who for the kansas
city a's uh played all nine positions in a in a major league game and we were
uh we were doing that
we were raising money for uh cancer for college my friend craig's charity which
uh we give college
scholarships that's great cancer survivors and and and a wonderful thing to do
yeah
and uh so so people who have succeeded in in their uh battle against cancer
right are now given
scholarships who want to continue their lives and their uh studies that's that's
a wonderful thing
and this was a great way to uh raise money so i played uh uh uh and there were
moments that were
terrifying i'm not gonna lie to you yeah uh trying to hit a 90 mile an hour
fastball it's next to
impossible well of course and and they don't ease up because the last thing
they want to do is hurt
themselves yeah well or give a give up a hit to movie boy right right and the
other intimidating
thing is when they smile at you on the mound they just smile a a sly smile yeah
and then they throw it
as hard as they can yeah yeah yeah now uh give us the highs and lows of the
experience the highs i
probably uh were uh getting a foul tip i actually fell tipped so you made some
contact a dribbler down
the right field i don't think it made it past first base all right you got some
wood on it that's all
we care about the low light was probably playing left field for the diamondbacks
uh i entered the game
they were down nine one when i left we were losing 12 to one after four
consecutive balls were hit to
me out in the outfield uh but they can't blame you for that for god's sake they
can't but the manager
did he did yeah he issued it really he was he was asked in a press conference
afterwards what did you
think of the event he's like i don't like it yeah when farrell came in we gave
up three runs because
of him yeah but they were they were balls that a major leaguer would have
gotten to but i'm just too
damn slow well yeah uh but and then i tried to joke around with the guys oh did
they like that no they
didn't like it they don't like it at all yeah yeah i said come on guys here we
go yeah little 11 run
rally we can do it right and no one would look at me you'd look at you yeah
yeah so what are you doing
then because you're you're i just walked over to the reds dugout because that
was the next team i'm
supposed to play for and then i told the reds this dugout is a lot more fun you
don't want to be over there
so well uh and how did you feel physically at the end of that day that's a grueling
experience
you know i felt okay i did take a uh a bath in tiger balm
oh no but you can't do that no no no well i know it now yeah yeah i didn't know
it then i didn't
i didn't know that stuff was illegal myself oh my goodness we got some shipped
in yeah from from out
of the country i did okay i did okay yeah you look great in those uniforms
thank you and i'm beginning
to think that any uniform you look great in but you really look like a big leaguer
well i'm still hoping
for a call dave oh yeah sure i feel like i turned some heads yeah i bet it'd be
coming in but your
boys must have been thrilled they loved it they got to be bat boys for the dodgers
and uh even though
my oldest boy noticed he kept saying anytime there was a rowdy fan he'd turn to
my wife and go mama
it's a good lesson for us all you know what else i enjoyed was uh uh and there
there are many lovely
moments on the saturday night live uh 40th anniversary paul paul schaefer was
featured with
our good friend bill murray and you of course were on uh jeopardy yeah that was
great yeah and what uh
what what do you remember from that night i mean it was crazy three hours of
non-stop big-time
comedy uh kind of you know a wonderful experience very surreal to get everyone
together in that one
room uh you know and i had to i had to rush backstage i couldn't sit out there
for the beginning of the
show because they wanted me to get ready for the jeopardy sketch but as soon as
i got ready i i got
back out into the studio because i wanted to watch at least watch the monologue
and here comes steve martin
and you know to to be the you know de facto host for that moment and kick off
the show and i look up
and there's bill o'reilly everyone's just clapping and bill rise like this
really what's the problem i don't know i don't know if you got a wrong seating
assignment or
something or what but just a real sourpuss yeah do you know bill o'reilly i
know i've never met him
um that's too bad yeah but it seems from what i've seen happy-go-lucky yeah
really yeah
just a real charmer yeah yeah yeah that's hard to explain yeah but uh yeah he
he i don't know what
he was doing there if he wasn't a fan of saturday night live exactly and maybe
he was maybe just
really a student of comedy yeah and he didn't want it yeah that's what he was
studying maybe he's just
going that's funny yeah that's funny uh well that that kind of take the gas out
of the room a little
bit if you were focused on him yeah for sure uh but but otherwise incredible
night and uh uh it's it's
wonderful that that show uh has been the birthplace of so much tremendous
comedy and continues continues
no slowing down speaking of tremendous comedy i thought the combination of you
and kevin hart
was fantastic it must have been great fun i mean the energy this kid has yeah
he's got a lot of energy
yeah he's uh but he's super super funny guy uh but it must have been great fun
working with him
and like i said the the chemistry on on the screen is fantastic you uh playing
kind of a i don't know
how would you describe kind of a dimwit not a dimwit a little bit of a a good
nature dimwit um forget i
said dimwit just played a regular guy yeah a regular i'm i'm a a hedge fund guy
who's really a financial
genius but doesn't have any social skills whatsoever like a savant a savant
yeah yeah and uh um and i find
out that i've i've been uh accused of embezzling 200 million dollars and i'm
about to go into maximum
security prison you're right you've been set up bamboozled bamboozled to be
father in law and kevin
is going to help me uh get ready for the situation he's going to help you get
ready to go away to
prison right for thirty thousand dollars and then and then the uh the fun
begins right now uh well it
seems to me like there was so he how much of that was you guys just doing it uh
doing what
no uh you know now wait a minute no no no none of that
kevin and i when when we did it we
we just had a lot of fun yeah yeah and we listened to each other which is when
you're doing it you should
listen to each other you know when you're getting the laughs yeah yeah that's
that's yeah well that's
i guess what i was talking about yeah yeah um yeah and and and uh we have a
well with off of each
other oh yeah and a nice kid nice kid and he's um he's significantly shorter
than i am
and that that gives uh some of the comedy the physical disparity between us
it's the kind of thing bill reilly would love this kind of the examination of
comedy bill bill's not
he's he's gonna think this movie's so funny he's just gonna be completely
silent yeah yeah
you know we were talking about baseball earlier did i miss my opportunity for
some harry carey no no
st louis cardinals and the chicago cubs
harry carey uh beloved beloved end of the season 1998 last game well we saw
some great things today
some were terrific some were inspiring it's too bad today's win didn't give us
a pennant
but i'm sure that in the near future as sure as god's green apples this cubs
team's gonna make a world series
i don't know who the manager's gonna be but it's gotta be someone who can
handle veterans
we got a mixture of young guys and veterans
well you want to listen to the veterans because they teach the young guys
exactly exactly it's like
a cycle of life you didn't say that what what about the ernie banks
one of the great cubs of all time passed away yeah yeah yeah yeah well uh uh it's
it's nice to know
that the cubs have been in the world series many many times since then
this year's the year i feel it okay i i played for the cubs i played first base
yeah in this and
on thursday you liked what you saw i gave them a pep talk like guys we can do
it this year
and they shook their heads let's um you know i i can't leave you without yes
there there there's
something that i do in my youth program when i'm educating people about snakes
oh this is part of
the youth program yeah and there's a version of of of an irish classic that i'd
