Name: Dave's Velcro Suit Stunt | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-03-28T15:33:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Velcro Suit Stunt | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Velcro Suit Stunt | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-28. Transcript available.

Hi there. Recently, one of my neighbors dozed off while watching the Olympic luge
finals and literally fell out of his chair.
Well, as soon as that happened, I went down to the basement workshop and I
covered my favorite chair and my favorite jumpsuit with Velcro.
And as you can see, it works like a charm.
But I have the, uh, thank you very much.
So, here's to Velcro.
Join us tonight for our gala tribute to that miracle space-age fabric of the 80s,
Velcro.
Well, I don't look like a jerk here, do I?
No, you look fine. It's fine to me, Dad.
Okay. Could you give me down, because I'm having trouble with that, uh, artery.
Vane there? Kind of swelling up?
Yeah.
Yeah, let me make a few calls.
Hal?
Yeah, okay, fellas. Cut, Dave, then.
You know, you know, the, uh, you know, the, the Grammy Awards were televised
earlier tonight, and, well, what better time to have you?
You know, the Grammy Awards were televised earlier tonight, and, well, what
better time to have you?
You know, the, the Grammy Awards were televised earlier tonight, and, well,
what better time to have a little fun with Velcro?
You'll never guess where this is pulling.
Please welcome the director of both industrial sales, I'm sorry, director of
industrial sales for Velcro USA, Mr. Michael Heater.
Michael?
How are you, sir?
Nice to see you.
Now, uh, if you'll, uh, can you just give me a hand down here with this stuff,
Michael?
And, uh, if I come off here wrong, I'm gonna, uh...
You're gonna hug me.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Yeah!
Oh, okay, great, thank you.
Now, that's, uh, this is, this is a real, uh, tough Velcro, isn't it?
You look like a spaceman.
But, is this extra strength?
That's the extra strength.
This is the, the super Velcro.
Tell us, uh, what, what it is, first of all, that Velcro is, and then, and then,
uh, tell us how you came about it.
Well, Velcro is a series of hooks and loops, a male and female.
Uh-huh.
One grabs the other and sticks.
Okay, so I'm...
You're the male.
I'm covered here now with loops, right?
No, you're the male.
What are these?
That's the loop over there.
No, no, these are loops here, aren't they?
These are the hook.
Oh, these are the hooks.
I'm sorry.
Okay, these are the hooks.
Those are the loops.
Now, how was this developed?
Who invented it?
A gentleman by the name of George Demestrel.
He patented in 1948.
After a couple of years walking through the woods with his dog, hunting, uh, he
figured that that little burdock burr had a use for something.
Uh-huh.
These are burrs that would stick to him and the...
Right.
That was where the idea came from.
So, uh, it took him several years.
That's what we have to do.
A lot of pain, and he finally came up with it.
Okay.
Why don't you show us, uh, uh, some of the different applications of modern-day
Velcro here.
Well, this is a golf shoe.
Uh-huh.
Nice-looking, sleek.
Velcro right there.
Ooh.
What do you have there?
Well, it takes a real man to pull this apart.
It is a tension block.
Now, what do you do with that?
That's just for exercise?
Just to show the people how strong Velcro is.
Oh, I see.
Okay.
You can't get that apart at all?
You try it.
Uh, okay.
Okay.
And what are these right here?
These are hair rollers that we make for the professional beauty supply houses.
Uh-huh.
All different sizes, and we make millions of them.
Yeah.
And they...
For different size.
Oh, they stick right into your hair.
Don't put that stuff in there.
Okay.
And then you have this, a toy, a rifle, and it shoots what? Velcro bullets?
I almost didn't make it to your show.
They caught me going through security.
Oh, with the rifle?
Sure.
Yeah, they give you a hard time.
Now, how does that work?
Put it on the end.
Uh-huh.
I'll stand there.
Whoops.
Oh, and I see.
It would stick right there.
Okay.
All right.
Now, we've put...
We built this suit.
Can you do the stirrups down there, sir?
Okay.
Now, we've come up with a couple other adaptations for Velcro, and it's used a
lot in the space
program, isn't it?
It is, indeed.
And everyday life and stuff.
Where is the basketball?
Oh, there it is.
Go ahead and throw me the basketball.
Just go ahead and...
There you go.
Okay.
Oh, easy.
All right.
Now, give me a...
Just give me a softer one.
There you go.
Kind of a whole new meaning to the world of Velcro.
All right.
Do we have anything else that we were going to show here?
Anything else in there?
Okay.
One more thing here.
Take your ball back.
Could we have the trampoline out?
Now, this wall is, again, covered with the other half of the Velcro, right?
All right.
Now, have you ever done anything like this?
I haven't, no.
Maybe a drum roll.
Now, theoretically, I'll...
I'll hit the wall and stay there, right?
Yes, theoretically.
Okay.
Go high.
As high as I can go.
Okay.
Okay, can you...
I can't...
There's very little I can do from this position.
No, no.
So, I guess we'll just...
What do we do?
We'll go to a commercial?
Fine.
Thank you, Mr. Heater.
Thank you very much for being here on our Salute to Velcro night.
Thank you.
Thank you, sir.