Name: Conan O'Brien Talks About Jay Leno | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-04-18T20:59:45.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Conan O'Brien Talks About Jay Leno | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Conan O'Brien Talks About Jay Leno | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-18. Transcript available.

our first guest has his own television program a very funny show uh it's uh
over there on tbs
it's called conan and that's the guy who's coming out here and he is going to
be taking his show
on the road from los angeles to california to chicago rather uh the week of june
11th
ladies and gentlemen please welcome back our good friend conan o'brien
how are you i think the longer we just sit here the more uncomfortable it will
make jay
you know jay's watching right now you know he's
he's he's getting a live feed in a satellite truck right now he is watching
every second
they've looked unhappy he's gonna pack it in soon yeah you um um i i know from
your perspective
well i'm done that was all i had to do
i know from your perspective it was difficult uh what are we talking about now
the uh
you know when you decided to go to tbs and all of that and you took our show
and did a great job there
then you had the tonight show did a great job there and then
some kind of a mix-up
i really don't recall it's been a long time how do you feel now on the other
side of all of that you
got to feel great you got to feel i feel i i feel uh terrific i really do uh
you know all i ever
wanted to do was i mean i'm very lucky to get to go on television and to do my
thing my way and tbs
lets me do whatever i want they don't watch it they don't care uh checks come
in uh they're not
watching no no that's the magic um and i uh i have a great time i you know we
took all of our people
with us so everybody is happy and uh i so i'm thrilled it it worked out and uh
i'm a lucky person
so i uh uh and forgive me for making this all about me but that's kind of what
i do
uh i was i was delighted by everything that happened except you losing your job
i i will tell you
i will tell you and this is honest the only consolation i took
during that period was that you were happy
it was really it was really humanitarian i i did i felt this is a this is a
sometimes dave seems a tad
unhappy in his life uh and if this is bringing you some measure of joy then to
hell with my career
yeah no let me explain myself i knew you would be just fine yeah i can forage
for food no no i i don't
think that was ever going to be a question i can catch animals and eat them i
knew i'd be all right
but you were happy i was happy for you let me just let me illustrate this i've
known jay a long long
time we go back to the mid 70s back in los angeles at the comedy store jay was
always the guy the funniest
guy he was the guy he was the guy you'd go to see he was the guy you wished you
could be more like
he was funny he was also uh a bit of a brat
a bit of a brat uh and so then um oh you know when this came along i said to
myself oh yes
this is the jay i know and i really and and i kind of you know i refer to that
period as the golden
age of television really the period when i lost the tonight show yes i'm not
that brief week and a
half period for you it's the golden age of broadcasting that's right but it has
has nothing
to do with you then i'm contented this um and people this is a silly question i'll
ask it anyway
any moments of genuine amusement during that ordeal yes uh i yes there were
some there were moments when
i was able to step outside my body and see the absurdity of it all there was a
uh i i had the
tonight show i believe on a on a friday stepped down uh left the tonight show
on monday we had things to
figure out how to take care of people how to get things you know how to dismantle
this this mechanism
and i had uh i called my assistant i said we got to get together and she said
we have no office
so we went to a marie calendars restaurant in the valley
and it was empty i'm not kidding there's a marie calendars in burbank and i
went there with my
assistant sona and she sat on one side and i sat on the other and i'm barking
you know this is what
we're gonna do see we're gonna take care of everyone yeah and we're gonna do
that we're gonna do the next thing too
and a woman came by and said uh you didn't know or care who i was uh do you
want one of our nine pies and
i realized in that moment the disparity between sitting behind the desk as the
host of the tonight
show on a friday and being demoted to a table at marie calendars which by the
way is a fine restaurant
and it makes a killer pie but i i i thought this is yes this is and uh this is
appropriate somehow
this is not everyone would agree that it's a demotion going from the tonight
show to marie
calendars because as you can tell the pie
but yeah but you've worked through you clearly were using my experience to work
through some
things let me tell you something i've i've had my own trouble i've had my own
lord knows i've had my
share of trouble so when i saw other trouble right and again it wasn't you're
someone who's been in a
car accident who passed another guy lying on the road and said that's right
i was in one of those ones let me it was terrible let me return to my position
here it was
it was the delight of seeing now how many times just between well between all
of us how many times
in your life have you seen a picture of jay stopping by the side of the road to
help elderly folks who
have run out of gas or whose car has caught fire who have lost a tire or
something and there is j
being the good samaritan to help out those people like like the triple a except
the triple a doesn't
bring a photographer that's the only difference between jay and the triple a
and and and i just
i just thought oh and so for that reason and other reasons i really enjoyed it
and uh
have you have you spoken to anybody at nbc uh no uh who in particular anyone
come to mind no this is
they're all gone the people that i remember i think everyone involved in my
situation uh with maybe an
exception is gone uh so there's no one there anymore that was there during my
nobody at the scene of
the crime yeah uh it's uh it's a whole different i'm told it's a lovely group i
wish them nothing
but the best and uh put a polygraph on him uh and what about your relationship
with jay because you
knew jay before uh the he demanded that he get his show back i was assured none
of this would come up
tonight
i was told we would discuss our shared love of antiquing
our many wonderful vacations together i was never informed that this would come
up but uh what is
your question again and you repeat it as many times as you like we can get you
we can get you an office
at blimpies trust me but i'm so insecure now in my talk show jobs that i'm
always eyeing tables at
restaurants you just you just i could go there you just i could be happy but
you had a relationship
with jay before uh the the felon felony took place what was the relationship
like with jay before this
occasional phone call and did you feel a kinship a camaraderie uh he's uh it's
a busy world uh
i come from a large fan no i would i would say up until this event uh we we
didn't have that much
in common we're we're quite we're quite different fellows uh he and i i don't
know why i suddenly
reverted to 19th century diction uh but uh he and i are are are different and
and so we didn't have a
lot to talk about in common right i don't own many automobiles that were made
before 1904 uh
primarily of brass and leather uh and so i don't know what to now honestly now
we're going now we're
getting someplace i don't know there are
there are very few ways and i don't i'm not saying this in a disparaging tone
at all there are very few
ways in which he and i relate we're not interested in i don't think in the same
things right but
nonetheless you had a bond via nbc and you're too late yes he was my lead-in uh
he was the host of
the tonight show i was the host of the late night show right and he they put
him on at 10 o'clock and
then that didn't work out and it was so then they said uh uh jay are you busy
and he said no i'm just
working on my cars like so he came back and they said we'll go to you're not
doing the head waggle
gives me an inner ear problem conan how long um how long did you do the late
night program at nbc
the late night program i believe i did it almost uh maybe about 16 years
something like that paul and i
did it before you for uh 12 12 and a half years so you're the longest running
host of that time
period and before paul and i did it what was it paul it was the tomorrow show
with tom snyder which
was in its inception a tremendous show a brilliant show yeah terrific riveting
interviews with uh
with john lyden from the sex pistols john lennon yeah he did a lot of really
nice stuff uh and now
you're at tbs and and things are great there you have a hit show on tbs and
they leave you alone
you get to do everything you want yeah how's your family are they all settled
and everything's good
now family's terrific i uh lovely wife i have two kids i have a a sick an eight-year-old
boy and a six
year old tell me all about the eight-year-old because i have an eight-year-old
i have an eight-year-old
girl nev and uh she's terrific she's uh she is very beautiful she's very smart
she's uh very uh quick to
judge like me uh extremely judgmental and then i have a boy uh beckett uh who
is uh six and you've
been through the boy phase where it's just all they're great and then they
dissolve into absolute
tyrannical rages like like stalin they become stalin they become insane
dictators within seconds if they
haven't had their uh their food if their blood sugar level falls below a
certain point they'll kill me and
all of you to get what they want has the child actually taken a life we had the
closest we came
is i did a event uh for turner called christmas uh in washington and it's an
event and i i they said
that you perform for the the number of people in washington you also perform
for uh the president the
first lady uh the vice president and uh and and it's this is a great thing and
i said i'd love to do
this and they said you can bring the kids the wife and the children i thought
this is fantastic my
children will meet an american president so we go uh i go and i'm preparing for
the event my wife
brings uh the children they lock it down for security reasons they just
completely lock it down
and then they say okay before the event you're going to get to meet and have
your picture taken
with the president this is very exciting my kids are nicely dressed and my wife
mentions to me casually
uh as we're getting in the line the children haven't eaten today and as any
parent will tell you you have
that moment of just this isn't something i don't know i'm very busy today i've
got a show to do in
front of the president but that concerns me i have some concern dave and then
we get on the line and
we're ready and we've talked to the kids you say hello mr president and the
first lady and they've
the boy's wearing his little tie and the girl's wearing her nice dress and i'm
wearing a dress
and everything's fine and we're ready to go wait a minute what we'll get to
that part we'll get to
it it comes later and uh we're ready and and they say uh i hear someone say uh
president in five minutes
we got president in five and things get really quiet in the room there's a lot
of people waiting to meet the
president and all of a sudden i just hear and i look over and it's my son and
he's just going
and i just say hey you know beckett take it and i start to get i look around
and i just see that
they're they're like president in four minutes president for we got we got potus
in four
and i'm really getting concerned so we start to try and reason with him and you've
been down this
road and i'm like now and then he just sits on the ground on the red carpet and
faces away from us
and so if you've ever tried to pick up a child who doesn't want to be picked up
it's like possible
picking up anti-matter with chopsticks you can't do it so i'm trying to get him
up and then
this is an absolutely true story the next person in line with us is mr justin bieber
no joke i'm not
kidding because he's one of the performers at the show and so he reaches over
and he thinks i got this
i'm justin bieber yeah i'm justin bieber he reaches over i can handle this and
i i see him going to pet
my son and i kind of want to stop it because i know where this is going but
there's part of me that
he thinks no let's see take a look this is going to be good so he reaches he
reaches out and he
touches my son's head and kind of gives him one of these like i'm justin bieber
it's going to be
fine yeah sorry he was leno for a second i'm just you know and uh he does that
and my son no joke
whips around and says stop it which is that's the appropriate response it is
the appropriate
response absolutely the and and so uh then he starts to dissolve even more we
don't know what
to do and i start to say to my wife you got to get him out of here and my wife
doesn't want to miss
her chance just meet the president so she says no i think he's going to be fine
and i said he's not
fine meanwhile he's gonna he's like curly from the three stooges
so finally we open her purse we rummage through it we find a half of a cracker
we get it into him
seconds later i hear i was ready to tell the secret service take him out if you
have to
if you have to you have my permission and then at the last second
the president comes and gets there we step up and i he had the cracker 30
seconds before
and he's and my son who's six is like mr president michelle what is that good
to see you how
are you where does that come from fantastic he pulled it together that's my boy
good for you
yeah that's a that's an impressive feat and congratulations it's good for him
the kid knows
when to pull it together yeah very impressive but for the summer do you have
time off are you going to
chicago we're going to chicago yeah at the chicago theater where you took the
late night show yeah we
did it there and it was a fantastic facility i love that as you know it's a
great city a great town and
the audiences will be absolutely thrilled to have you there will you get time
off to do fun stuff
with the family as a unit uh that was it what i just described that's uh that's
time with my family
so i learned my lesson no uh you know i i hope at some point i'm i'm coaching
some uh i'm helping
coach i'm an assistant coach in t-ball now which is i don't know if you've done
gone down that road
t-ball we're we're now into coach pitch but as i have described t-ball uh an
inning of t-ball is the
most exciting three hours in sports yeah when you see a six-year-old or a seven-year-old
or a five-year-old
make a legitimate out field the ball throw it to first and put someone out it's
like seeing the
face of christ on toast i know it's miraculous yes actual play happened other
than that you might as
well just duct tape some some uh some gloves to cats and let them roam around
field and my favorite
thing is when someone when a kid does connect when a kid does connect which is
hilarious he connects
with the ball and it goes out into the outfield the kids don't run towards the
ball they start
randomly spinning yeah like they're at a fish concert it's unbelievable now i
will tell you the things
get a little better with coach pitch and a couple of weeks ago we're at a game
and my son is playing
shortstop how old is your your eight years old and he makes the play uh and and
as you know so please
please if you're not going to make the play at least let it hit you so it doesn't
roll to the fence
so he he grabs the ball it's a kind of a heroic stab at uh shortstop uh there's
nobody on base uh the
runner is moving down uh to first base he picks it up scoops it up cleanly and
tosses it to third
so you get a it's starting to gel yeah it's coming together it's starting to
gel
uh is he good at the plate because that's really all you need to worry about
too you don't want the
kid to embarrass himself at the plate you know uh he he's he's actually quite
good i watching t-ball
have started to wish that we i would love to see and maybe uh i don't have the
resources to make this
happen but you could i would love to see major major league caliber hitters
hitting off of a tee
i think it'd be so fun to see a david ortiz just and and look at that game and
the scores i would like
to see uh the major league games where the scores are like 145 to 144. it would
be eliminate pitching
all together yeah and uh steroids encouraged why not the combination of
steroids and the t
have you uh you know i saw your sister in a movie for god's yes my sister kate
that was fantastic she
did a terrific job she's very talented what was the film was the fight the
fighter yeah my sister uh auditioned uh
they had no idea that she was any relation to me really other than she looks
exactly like well
she looks like me in a wig yeah uh no she's she's an attractive version of me
uh she's very talented
and she uh yeah they had no idea she did a terrific job they put her in this
film and she she nailed it
yeah i think she uh i mean she also teaches so she's balancing it she's working
in show business
and helping humanity now uh that's unheard of for god's sakes now you won't see
me going down
that road do you you like living in california you know what california is
pretty good uh i will
say i got a look at your audience and it's a good looking crowd and i'm not
saying that just to
cue applause right now uh there's no time that's that's so it's so cheap so
cheap beneath beneath
you uh i i saw and you'll relate to this i saw it's one different with loss one
thing it's very
different there is that the audiences are much more casual in their dress more
relaxed a little more
relaxed and so i noticed there was a picture that i saw in the years i worked
at nbc which was
it was a reverse angle of jack parr doing his tonight show monologue and it's a
reverse angle
and you see the audience the men are in ties they're all don draper on mad men
they've got the
ties and the jackets the women are wearing sensible republican cloth coats
everything's
and they're all sitting there and enjoying the show i watched an evolution
occur throughout the 80s
and the 90s and it got more gradual uh in los angeles people come to the tapings
in board shorts
flip-flops thongs and nothing else uh world war one helmets uh fake beards eye
patches it's a it's a
freak show i think i think you also mentioned that they often bring animals
they bring they bring livestock
so cherish this this is old time this is the ed sullivan theater uh and and it's
i love being in this
beautiful this is the conan o'brien right here in chicago week of june 11th
great pleasure to see
you congratulations on everything i'm glad to have you here come back anytime
conan o'brien ladies and gentlemen we'll be right back with regina specter

Conan O'Brien Talks About Jay Leno | Letterman

our first guest has his own television program a very funny show uh it's uh
over there on tbs
it's called conan and that's the guy who's coming out here and he is going to
be taking his show
on the road from los angeles to california to chicago rather uh the week of june
11th
ladies and gentlemen please welcome back our good friend conan o'brien
how are you i think the longer we just sit here the more uncomfortable it will
make jay
you know jay's watching right now you know he's
he's he's getting a live feed in a satellite truck right now he is watching
every second
they've looked unhappy he's gonna pack it in soon yeah you um um i i know from
your perspective
well i'm done that was all i had to do
i know from your perspective it was difficult uh what are we talking about now
the uh
you know when you decided to go to tbs and all of that and you took our show
and did a great job there
then you had the tonight show did a great job there and then
some kind of a mix-up
i really don't recall it's been a long time how do you feel now on the other
side of all of that you
got to feel great you got to feel i feel i i feel uh terrific i really do uh
you know all i ever
wanted to do was i mean i'm very lucky to get to go on television and to do my
thing my way and tbs
lets me do whatever i want they don't watch it they don't care uh checks come
in uh they're not
watching no no that's the magic um and i uh i have a great time i you know we
took all of our people
with us so everybody is happy and uh i so i'm thrilled it it worked out and uh
i'm a lucky person
so i uh uh and forgive me for making this all about me but that's kind of what
i do
uh i was i was delighted by everything that happened except you losing your job
i i will tell you
i will tell you and this is honest the only consolation i took
during that period was that you were happy
it was really it was really humanitarian i i did i felt this is a this is a
sometimes dave seems a tad
unhappy in his life uh and if this is bringing you some measure of joy then to
hell with my career
yeah no let me explain myself i knew you would be just fine yeah i can forage
for food no no i i don't
think that was ever going to be a question i can catch animals and eat them i
knew i'd be all right
but you were happy i was happy for you let me just let me illustrate this i've
known jay a long long
time we go back to the mid 70s back in los angeles at the comedy store jay was
always the guy the funniest
guy he was the guy he was the guy you'd go to see he was the guy you wished you
could be more like
he was funny he was also uh a bit of a brat
a bit of a brat uh and so then um oh you know when this came along i said to
myself oh yes
this is the jay i know and i really and and i kind of you know i refer to that
period as the golden
age of television really the period when i lost the tonight show yes i'm not
that brief week and a
half period for you it's the golden age of broadcasting that's right but it has
has nothing
to do with you then i'm contented this um and people this is a silly question i'll
ask it anyway
any moments of genuine amusement during that ordeal yes uh i yes there were
some there were moments when
i was able to step outside my body and see the absurdity of it all there was a
uh i i had the
tonight show i believe on a on a friday stepped down uh left the tonight show
on monday we had things to
figure out how to take care of people how to get things you know how to dismantle
this this mechanism
and i had uh i called my assistant i said we got to get together and she said
we have no office
so we went to a marie calendars restaurant in the valley
and it was empty i'm not kidding there's a marie calendars in burbank and i
went there with my
assistant sona and she sat on one side and i sat on the other and i'm barking
you know this is what
we're gonna do see we're gonna take care of everyone yeah and we're gonna do
that we're gonna do the next thing too
and a woman came by and said uh you didn't know or care who i was uh do you
want one of our nine pies and
i realized in that moment the disparity between sitting behind the desk as the
host of the tonight
show on a friday and being demoted to a table at marie calendars which by the
way is a fine restaurant
and it makes a killer pie but i i i thought this is yes this is and uh this is
appropriate somehow
this is not everyone would agree that it's a demotion going from the tonight
show to marie
calendars because as you can tell the pie
but yeah but you've worked through you clearly were using my experience to work
through some
things let me tell you something i've i've had my own trouble i've had my own
lord knows i've had my
share of trouble so when i saw other trouble right and again it wasn't you're
someone who's been in a
car accident who passed another guy lying on the road and said that's right
i was in one of those ones let me it was terrible let me return to my position
here it was
it was the delight of seeing now how many times just between well between all
of us how many times
in your life have you seen a picture of jay stopping by the side of the road to
help elderly folks who
have run out of gas or whose car has caught fire who have lost a tire or
something and there is j
being the good samaritan to help out those people like like the triple a except
the triple a doesn't
bring a photographer that's the only difference between jay and the triple a
and and and i just
i just thought oh and so for that reason and other reasons i really enjoyed it
and uh
have you have you spoken to anybody at nbc uh no uh who in particular anyone
come to mind no this is
they're all gone the people that i remember i think everyone involved in my
situation uh with maybe an
exception is gone uh so there's no one there anymore that was there during my
nobody at the scene of
the crime yeah uh it's uh it's a whole different i'm told it's a lovely group i
wish them nothing
but the best and uh put a polygraph on him uh and what about your relationship
with jay because you
knew jay before uh the he demanded that he get his show back i was assured none
of this would come up
tonight
i was told we would discuss our shared love of antiquing
our many wonderful vacations together i was never informed that this would come
up but uh what is
your question again and you repeat it as many times as you like we can get you
we can get you an office
at blimpies trust me but i'm so insecure now in my talk show jobs that i'm
always eyeing tables at
restaurants you just you just i could go there you just i could be happy but
you had a relationship
with jay before uh the the felon felony took place what was the relationship
like with jay before this
occasional phone call and did you feel a kinship a camaraderie uh he's uh it's
a busy world uh
i come from a large fan no i would i would say up until this event uh we we
didn't have that much
in common we're we're quite we're quite different fellows uh he and i i don't
know why i suddenly
reverted to 19th century diction uh but uh he and i are are are different and
and so we didn't have a
lot to talk about in common right i don't own many automobiles that were made
before 1904 uh
primarily of brass and leather uh and so i don't know what to now honestly now
we're going now we're
getting someplace i don't know there are
there are very few ways and i don't i'm not saying this in a disparaging tone
at all there are very few
ways in which he and i relate we're not interested in i don't think in the same
things right but
nonetheless you had a bond via nbc and you're too late yes he was my lead-in uh
he was the host of
the tonight show i was the host of the late night show right and he they put
him on at 10 o'clock and
then that didn't work out and it was so then they said uh uh jay are you busy
and he said no i'm just
working on my cars like so he came back and they said we'll go to you're not
doing the head waggle
gives me an inner ear problem conan how long um how long did you do the late
night program at nbc
the late night program i believe i did it almost uh maybe about 16 years
something like that paul and i
did it before you for uh 12 12 and a half years so you're the longest running
host of that time
period and before paul and i did it what was it paul it was the tomorrow show
with tom snyder which
was in its inception a tremendous show a brilliant show yeah terrific riveting
interviews with uh
with john lyden from the sex pistols john lennon yeah he did a lot of really
nice stuff uh and now
you're at tbs and and things are great there you have a hit show on tbs and
they leave you alone
you get to do everything you want yeah how's your family are they all settled
and everything's good
now family's terrific i uh lovely wife i have two kids i have a a sick an eight-year-old
boy and a six
year old tell me all about the eight-year-old because i have an eight-year-old
i have an eight-year-old
girl nev and uh she's terrific she's uh she is very beautiful she's very smart
she's uh very uh quick to
judge like me uh extremely judgmental and then i have a boy uh beckett uh who
is uh six and you've
been through the boy phase where it's just all they're great and then they
dissolve into absolute
tyrannical rages like like stalin they become stalin they become insane
dictators within seconds if they
haven't had their uh their food if their blood sugar level falls below a
certain point they'll kill me and
all of you to get what they want has the child actually taken a life we had the
closest we came
is i did a event uh for turner called christmas uh in washington and it's an
event and i i they said
that you perform for the the number of people in washington you also perform
for uh the president the
first lady uh the vice president and uh and and it's this is a great thing and
i said i'd love to do
this and they said you can bring the kids the wife and the children i thought
this is fantastic my
children will meet an american president so we go uh i go and i'm preparing for
the event my wife
brings uh the children they lock it down for security reasons they just
completely lock it down
and then they say okay before the event you're going to get to meet and have
your picture taken
with the president this is very exciting my kids are nicely dressed and my wife
mentions to me casually
uh as we're getting in the line the children haven't eaten today and as any
parent will tell you you have
that moment of just this isn't something i don't know i'm very busy today i've
got a show to do in
front of the president but that concerns me i have some concern dave and then
we get on the line and
we're ready and we've talked to the kids you say hello mr president and the
first lady and they've
the boy's wearing his little tie and the girl's wearing her nice dress and i'm
wearing a dress
and everything's fine and we're ready to go wait a minute what we'll get to
that part we'll get to
it it comes later and uh we're ready and and they say uh i hear someone say uh
president in five minutes
we got president in five and things get really quiet in the room there's a lot
of people waiting to meet the
president and all of a sudden i just hear and i look over and it's my son and
he's just going
and i just say hey you know beckett take it and i start to get i look around
and i just see that
they're they're like president in four minutes president for we got we got potus
in four
and i'm really getting concerned so we start to try and reason with him and you've
been down this
road and i'm like now and then he just sits on the ground on the red carpet and
faces away from us
and so if you've ever tried to pick up a child who doesn't want to be picked up
it's like possible
picking up anti-matter with chopsticks you can't do it so i'm trying to get him
up and then
this is an absolutely true story the next person in line with us is mr justin bieber
no joke i'm not
kidding because he's one of the performers at the show 