Name: Dave Responds To YouTube Comments | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-04-25T15:01:59.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Responds To YouTube Comments | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Responds To YouTube Comments | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-25. Transcript available.

Hi, welcome to the show. I'm Mary Barkley, and this is my guest, Dave.
Hi, Mary. Thank you very much for having me on the show.
Yeah, thanks for giving me.
By the way, good news, I heard that Barbara Gaines has taken a job on The View.
Yeah, that didn't happen.
Okay.
Okay, today on the show we have something new.
I'm very excited about this, and by the way, we'll keep this brief because I
know you have other guests.
I don't have other guests.
Okay, these are comments, internet comments.
Yeah, this is like letters to the editor.
From YouTube, yes.
Yeah, like Jimmy Kimball does the mean tweets.
Yeah.
And then Seth Meyers.
Seth Meyers also responds to comments.
It's called corrections.
Corrections, yes.
And what do we call this? Just something we've stolen as an idea?
Something we've stolen from the internet, comments from the internet.
I heard that she had taken a job on The View.
No, that's not, that didn't happen.
Okay, should I start?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay, here's one from Joe Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, 37.
Now, wait a minute.
What was that?
Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob,
37.
Oh, okay.
I thought maybe you'd had an episode.
Okay.
Would Dave ever collab with Mr. Beast?
Oh, whoa.
Would I be that lucky?
I saw an episode of Mr. Beast once where they had, I don't know if this was in
North America,
it was a desolate location with abandoned, dangerous, dangerous abandons,
cement block structures and a group of young people were running around hurting
themselves.
And at the end, Mr. Beast gave them $400.
Is that true?
Yeah.
Yeah, it was great.
I would love to, I would, yeah, I think it was in Eastern Europe somewhere.
And it had like a billion views.
Yeah, at least.
And it was really edgier seat stuff.
Wow.
Yeah.
So nice going there on Mr. Beast.
Cool.
Okay.
Here's another one.
VW Lover 8174.
I can't believe Harry lets you tell these stories.
How does he feel about your impression of him?
Well, I do two impressions of him.
One, when he was a youngster and he would talk like this.
And the current impression of him is, oh yeah, no, absolutely not, thanks.
And he dislikes both of them.
Yeah, I can see that.
But I think he has no idea that I'm in show business, if you could call this
show business.
I think you can.
Okay, here's one.
Autumn Childhood.
All I could keep thinking was, wait, why is he wearing glasses if they have no
lenses in them?
Yeah, that's a good one.
I will tell you that when you get to be my age, you recognize that time on the
planet is limited.
And I don't want to have to waste any more time cleaning lenses.
But you want to wear glasses.
Yeah.
But I just don't like the constant, that nonsense, you know.
And then they get the little wiper things.
And I don't have that problem.
I have that problem.
Look at all the free time I have now.
Oh, you're going to like this one.
Okay, ready.
William Bart says, get ready.
I rolled through Gas City many times in my travels, and I've bought gas there.
Couldn't say for sure, but I swear that gas felt a little peppier.
Well, you know, I've done a little research.
There's a gas city, there's an oil city, and there's a coal city.
You know, one of those travel.com places.
What do they call them?
Travel.com?
Oh, like Expedia?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Put together a tour, gas city, coal city, oil city, and, you know, just to pass
the savings
on to, I don't know.
But doesn't that sound like a miracle trip?
It does to me.
Yeah, yeah, here we go.
This is a whole, this is a group of questions that are all sort of related.
Here's the first one from Andrew Thomason.
Do they shoot these things in the bomb shelter?
Yeah, yeah.
Kind of.
So what?
And then another one.
Hey, Andy, let me ask you a question.
Where would you shoot yours?
And then there's another one from Mary Solomon.
Where are these videos filmed?
What kind of a building?
Bomb shelter.
Nimbusco asks, was this.
I love their baked goods.
They make the best cookies, donuts, crackers.
I just got that.
Oh, did you?
Okay.
Was this bit shot in a public library?
No, no, in the bomb shelter.
I believe I've answered this.
Okay.
This one is from Satnim Rocksnal.
My mind would be much more at ease if Dave shaved off his Santa beard,
or at least trimmed it down to about an inch.
Yeah.
That's just not going to happen.
And I recognize, I look at the videos taken here and there,
when it was preposterous.
And I look like a character in Lord of the Rings.
I'm just taking a guess there.
And occasionally I try to knock it down a little bit.
But, you know, swing by the funeral home.
I'll still have it.
Okay.
We've got a few more.
Do you have time for a few more?
I'm kind of pressed today.
So if you can move it along, I'd appreciate it.
This is from Crisp Rock.
What?
Crisp Rock?
Oh my God, Crisp.
Yeah, buddy.
I think this is someone having to crisp with a P.
Crisp Rock.
That thing.
Woo.
You know, it was interesting that Will Smith was,
they said you can't come back for 10 years after he hit the Crisp Rock.
And I was thinking, I hosted the Academy Awards and they told me I could never
come back.
I mean, which is the greater offense?
Lifetime ban.
Yeah.
Okay.
Crisp Rock asks, when will the Frightened Dave NFT be available?
I don't even know what that means.
The non-fungible token.
Yeah, I don't know what that is.
I don't know what the Frightened Dave is.
That selfie photo.
Oh, that thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That's a good idea.
A million dollars, sure.
Oh, by the way, if you're in Mishawaka, the 18th or the 19th of next month,
I will be at the Mishawaka Playhouse with my one-man show, Hey Dave.
Is that true?
Yeah.
Oh, good.
Oh, here's one.
You're going to like this one, too.
Fat Freddy, what is Jeff Altman up to?
Jeff Altman is living in North Carolina and he has a room in his house
where he does card tricks for himself and he spends most of the day
trying to pick and guess a card.
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
Can I add something about Jeff Altman?
Please do.
At the old show, Jeff Altman would call the office to talk to you
and a lot of times it wouldn't be, he wouldn't be, hi, Jeff.
He would, I'd say, late show and Jeff would do a character called the creepy
baby.
Creepy, creepy baby.
Now, I remember hearing people talking to the creepy baby.
I myself have never talked or heard from the creepy baby,
so I'm eager to sample this now.
Sometimes he would call and be like, hi, this is Jeff.
And then we would make him perform, like, where's the creepy baby?
Yeah.
And then he would do the creepy baby, whether he wanted to or not,
because people were requesting the creepy baby.
This is great.
I'm looking forward to this.
Yeah, it was pretty good.
Thank you very much.
Yeah.
And Barbara, I'm told, is feeling much better.
She's not sick.
Yeah.
This is the creepy baby.
Does anyone have any orkeys or fish sticks for me?
I am so hungry.