Name: Norm Macdonald Talks About Getting Fired From "Saturday Night Live" | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-04-27T21:08:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Talks About Getting Fired From "Saturday Night Live" | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Talks About Getting Fired From "Saturday Night Live" | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-27. Transcript available.

well i'm glad you folks are in a great mood tonight our first guest is one of
the funniest
men working in television today he is the anchor of weekend update on the
popular saturday night
live program please welcome norm mcdonald how you doing i'm doing good oh that's
all right i'm just
i'm just slow that's okay happy new year buddy thank you very much for being
here yeah you don't
mind if i ask you a question what's that i hear today i hear this story and as
it's like this press
release you get your ass fired is that true no you didn't get fired yeah they
fired no they didn't
fire you no i'm serious i talked to a guy that said i'm fired fired from your
television job from on
the weekend you know i do the news yeah the weekend update and i do the jokes
sometimes many times the
best part of the show yeah but uh it's all a matter of opinion that's your
opinion it's my opinion yeah
but then the guys that can fire me that's not their opinion now why would they
fire you well uh
who fired you first of all let's get some names here let's get this on the
record well i don't
know the guys like because the guys i work with like lauren michaels and stuff
did lauren michaels
fire you no he did he didn't fire me he likes me and stuff well he is his show
isn't it i thought it
was his show yeah but uh well then how can a guy come in from the outside and
fire you somebody from
abc fired you no no they're nbc what happens is you work on the show and then
there's these guys that
hang out like in the halls yeah we got them here we got them here and they're
called executives they're
nbc executives right and then i'd see him i didn't know who the hell they were
what they did you know
now i know what they do they fire me from weekend update but uh they uh they
they said that this guy
don olmeyer turns out to be the president yeah now i know don olmeyer and just
between you and me he's
an idiot oh
so i wouldn't take it seriously if this guy fired you you may still have a job
you never know
i'd wait for some paperwork yeah i phoned him you know oh you had to phone you
had to phone in to pick
up your messages from oh man yeah so i said hey you don't know what to say you're
like hey how's it
going there you know you're trying to talk about something else did you have a
turkey there for the
thing or whatever and then so he goes uh oh yeah i'm uh i'm firing you there
from the show and then i i
said uh oh that's not good and then i said why is that now and he goes uh oh
you're not you know you're
not funny yeah and then i said uh i said holy lord that's even worse news you
know
he goes no i don't got nothing to fall back on
he's a good man he just fired you what do you mean he's a good what is wrong
with you
you you quizling stop that i don't know what a quizling means
but i i mean to me like you know you have to be philosophical about these
things i mean at first
like when i found out you know i was upset but then you know i uh i really
started to i started to
think about it you know and plus i drank a lot of whiskey and i and then
afterwards
like that but then the next day i sobered up and i remembered uh you know that
uh i still had some
whiskey last but now now norm i far be it for me to tell you how to lead your
life or your career
because lord knows you've been very very successful but if the guy says to you
we don't want you on the
weekend update and that's like your signature piece yeah you're you're kind of
like the anchorman not
only of that segment but of the entire saturday night live show if things aren't
going great they
give the ball to you you're the damn quarterback norm you're the one who
punches it over the goal line
for pay dirt
so now mr big shot cologne and cufflinks don olmeyer if he says we don't want
you on the weekend update
i'd adios i'd get in the cab absolutely hit the dirt come on over here to cbs
we'll get you a nice show
we'll put you we'll put you together a nice show for you
all right
you're no quizling i never i've never been called that
well now will you stay on the on the rest of the show yeah i'm gonna stay like
i do also uh other
than do an update i do like sketches but like i stink in those so uh that you
know he thinks i'm
funny enough uh-huh yeah oh it's just the weekend update he doesn't think you're
funny yeah he doesn't
think i'm funny in weekend update and uh uh god only knows i mean you know he
it's just a matter of
opinion he he also thinks that oj is innocent exactly exactly don't don't let
this pinhead push
you around for heaven's sakes no he's not a pinhead he's a uh he's a he's a fat
guy there we go now come
on norm let's go it's got a little heat on here no it's funny when you don't
like a guy just because
he's fat you know what i mean no it has nothing to do with him being fat no it
doesn't have anything
to do with him being fat you don't like it because he's a dope no no it's just
a you know what i've
always said is uh i've said comedy is subjective i never really said that no i
didn't think i said
i usually say whiskey is good yeah but but norm you're you're very very funny
you're you're like
the strength of that franchise well do you know any guys over there you can
give a call to well
yeah they're gonna take a call from me you're lucky you're lucky they took your
call so they
could fire you are you kidding well but there are you getting some support from
the rest of the cast
members well you know the the people on the cast like they go uh you know when
you work at a place
you know some people like you some people hate you but uh oh yeah you don't
need to tell me that
so you know people come up to you and go oh man i'm sorry and then uh either
they they're sorry or
they're not sorry yeah that's right so how the hell do you know no you don't
really know but
you can tell well sometimes you can tell like you walk into a room and then
everybody will
stop talking and then so you go hey were you just talking about how you were
glad i got fired from
the update and then you go no no we were talking about uh hats but now let me
go back to this and
i don't want to embarrass you again but if if lauren michaels the guy who
created the show the guy who's
kept the show in business all these years yeah it's his show mr big shot mr
table at orsos lauren michaels why doesn't he
step in why doesn't he throw himself in front of this gorilla to save your job
what's going on
there with that it sounds to me like he's a quizzling he is well that's what it
sounds like maybe we can
get a dictionary at the break but you know what i'm saying this is the guy didn't
lauren michaels hire
you yes he did well then who ought to be able to fire you lauren michaels right
so where was he did
he fire you no he didn't fire but he's like your buddy right your buddies with
yeah he's he's a good man
and what did he say to you been very supportive of him well i guess not
what what did he say to you he said to me he says to me he says
he said look norm this is the deal you know he said i want you to stay on as
weekend update oh good
well there you go well great so you got the job back that's good news
that boy congratulations
hang on stay right there think about it we're going to get this straightened
out all right norm
mcdonald is here from saturday night live peter wilson from la femme nikita
streb you ever seen
these streb people oh they're great they're going to change your life what do
you got there and we
looked up quiz link yeah i looked up yeah and also there's do you know what
quiz master means yeah
that'd be like alex gerbeck yeah yeah i did that no quizling is a master of
ceremonies on a game show
there you go now quizling is a traitor who serves as the puppet of the enemy
occupying his country
exactly that's what i'm talking about thank you very much no you sir are no
quizling i thought i was
dumb when i didn't know what quizling was i think i'm even dumber now because i
still don't know
but now norm a couple of things come to mind here this seems so preposterous to
me so unfathomable so
unreasonable that i'm guessing oh it's like a stunt like a publicity stunt like
big time wrestling or
something is that that kind of deal where you and don olmeyer will have a feud
and you'll wrestle on
the show or something for your job one of those deals no no i like don oh no
how can you like this
weasel fired you no but he doesn't think i'm funny and yet you like the man
sure i don't i mean you
know here's here's what a lot of people don't think i'm funny enjoy your
complimentary beverage now
tomorrow night it ain't whiskey but it's good now there's a great song now
tomorrow night
tomorrow night come back on the show or friday night come back on the show and
do weekend update
you can do weekend update here you can be the weekend update guy on this show
that'd be great well
there you go
now who's who's taking your place on the weekend update i don't know apparently
they had some press
release today but i don't i don't read the papers which is that wasn't good
either yeah no not if
you're in charge of weekend update to just blatantly admit that you don't know
what's going on i did too
many nixon jokes yeah i'll tell you one thing i'll tell you who's taking your
place nobody can take
your place mcdonald that's what i think
you don't seem to be taking this too hard you seem to be taking it pretty well
well i mean i don't know
because uh if if somebody doesn't like you then uh and they uh own the joint
you know that's fine i
mean i don't know why would you want to work in that atmosphere why wouldn't
you want to take a hike and
say well i'll show you i'll take my little weekend update someplace else and
bury you punks
i don't know i don't know i guess i'm like damn quizzling or something
well jeez i hope you land on your feet i think you're gonna but you're gonna be
in part of the
show anyway right yeah i'll be doing you know i know things yeah i'll be you
know now i thought
the hilarious impression of me you'll be doing that i guess why didn't they
fire that
what they do is they uh now they're saying oh we'll put you in a whole bunch of
sketches which
i don't want to be in because then they're like here you're the scientist and
uh uh you you uh you're
the scientist in charge of monkey boy or something damn thing and uh you know
and then i'm like running
in going hey uh cheerleaders what's going on i i haven't seen monkey boy and i
don't know how to
i don't know that ain't a bad sketch though that's true that ain't bad that's
got possibilities um
how's everything at home your mom all right oh yeah you get to see your mom
much uh she came to visit
me in new york you know that's nice and she's uh real sweet you know she she
doesn't know much about
show business you know but she always tries because she knows i'm in show
business right yeah i mean
until tonight and uh so she always tries to give me like the showbiz news i
remember like a couple
of years ago she phoned me up she goes uh oh my god have you heard the news uh
liza minnelli's
a phony and that was her like story liza minnelli's a phony yeah and i thought
how can that be like
a story like uh man i'm sure she probably is a phony you know but how would
that be a scoop and then
like it took me a while to figure out she was talking about uh them i remember
millie vanilli yeah
oh she's like into that stuff you know she must be very excited and proud
though i mean what because
you work with big big stars like you've worked with i know you've worked with
bill cosby oh yeah bill
cosby man he was he's my favorite guy ever since i was young and i got to open
for him at this comedy
thing and he was the greatest i got to meet him and stuff and you know when you
meet these guys it's so like
you know you're a shock or something you know because you can't believe you're
talking to this
guy and uh and so i told him i said you know he's always funny he has that
funny way of talking so i
go hey hi nice to meet you mr cosby and he goes like yes yes you know yeah and
then you just laugh
and then so i go oh man i go you're my favorite you know and ever since i was a
little kid i always
listen to you're my dad's favorite comedian ever you know and he goes now where
is your dad from yeah
that's pretty good all right that's pretty good maybe i'll do it this week on
the show
so so i tell cosby you know i say oh my dad's from ottawa so he turns to his
buddy ben as his manager
or something and he goes ben isn't we aren't the ottawa you know and uh ben
goes yes we are playing
ottawa soon ben understand right cosby says and uh he goes yes mr cosby we are
uh we do have a gig
in ottawa and uh coming up and uh he goes what is your father give me a paper
so he gets a paper and he
goes here now write your father's name on the paper everything's funny he says
advice about hey write
your father's name on the paper so uh so he goes and the pen the man needs the
pen you know so i get
the pen and the paper you know so i'm right now my father's a thing and then uh
all of a sudden i
realize that uh my father's dead so i like i panic you know i'm in this
situation my dad's been dead
eight nine years and i got the the paper and the pen you know yeah and uh so uh
i i know ottawa's area
code you know so i write that and then i'm just writing down uh like random
numbers you know and
then i go here you go mr cosby this is my father's still alive's number here
you know and he's like
so i thought god man that's a stupid thing i did you know and uh then a couple
weeks later
uh i get a call and it's bill cosby on the phone and he's like i phoned the
number
and he was so sweet like he'd actually phone my father's number like what a
great man you know and
he said the man does not live with the number
the man answered and not your father you know so i'm like uh oh i'm pretty sure
because i couldn't go oh yeah i forgot he's been dead 10 years yeah oh man uh
well norm i hope we've
uh been able to get you through uh your darkest hour and that i hope you
somehow find the will to carry
on and normally this would be the time when we'd mention the show on saturday
night but i'm so angry
about this and i don't care about the show saturday night and neither should
you oh good to see you
you oh good to see you norm mcdonald's you

Norm Macdonald Talks About Getting Fired From "Saturday Night Live" | Letterman

well i'm glad you folks are in a great mood tonight our first guest is one of
the funniest
men working in television today he is the anchor of weekend update on the
popular saturday night
live program please welcome norm mcdonald how you doing i'm doing good oh that's
all right i'm just
i'm just slow that's okay happy new year buddy thank you very much for being
here yeah you don't
mind if i ask you a question what's that i hear today i hear this story and as
it's like this press
release you get your ass fired is that true no you didn't get fired yeah they
fired no they didn't
fire you no i'm serious i talked to a guy that said i'm fired fired from your
television job from on
the weekend you know i do the news yeah the weekend update and i do the jokes
sometimes many times the
best part of the show yeah but uh it's all a matter of opinion that's your
opinion it's my opinion yeah
but then the guys that can fire me that's not their opinion now why would they
fire you well uh
who fired you first of all let's get some names here let's get this on the
record well i don't
know the guys like because the guys i work with like lauren michaels and stuff
did lauren michaels
fire you no he did he didn't fire me he likes me and stuff well he is his show
isn't it i thought it
was his show yeah but uh well then how can a guy come in from the outside and
fire you somebody from
abc fired you no no they're nbc what happens is you work on the show and then
there's these guys that
hang out like in the halls yeah we got them here we got them here and they're
called executives they're
nbc executives right and then i'd see him i didn't know who the hell they were
what they did you know
now i know what they do they fire me from weekend update but uh they uh they
they said that this guy
don olmeyer turns out to be the president yeah now i know don olmeyer and just
between you and me he's
an idiot oh
so i wouldn't take it seriously if this guy fired you you may still have a job
you never know
i'd wait for some paperwork yeah i phoned him you know oh you had to phone you
had to phone in to pick
up your messages from oh man yeah so i said hey you don't know what to say you're
like hey how's it
going there you know you're trying to talk about something else did you have a
turkey there for the
thing or whatever and then so he goes uh oh yeah i'm uh i'm firing you there
from the show and then i i
said uh oh that's not good and then i said why is that now and he goes uh oh
you're not you know you're
not funny yeah and then i said uh i said holy lord that's even worse news you
know
he goes no i don't got nothing to fall back on
he's a good man he just fired you what do you mean he's a good what is wrong
with you
you you quizling stop that i don't know what a quizling means
but i i mean to me like you know you have to be philosophical about these
things i mean at first
like when i found out you know i was upset but then you know i uh i really
started to i started to
think about it you know and plus i drank a lot of whiskey and i and then
afterwards
like that but then the next day i sobered up and i remembered uh you know that
uh i still had some
whiskey last but now now norm i far be it for me to tell you how to lead your
life or your career
because lord knows you've been very very successful but if the guy says to you
we don't want you on the
weekend update and that's like your signature piece yeah you're you're kind of
like the anchorman not
only of that segment but of the entire saturday night live show if things aren't
going great they
give the ball to you you're the damn quarterback norm you're the one who
punches it over the goal line
for pay dirt
so now mr big shot cologne and cufflinks don olmeyer if he says we don't want
you on the weekend update
i'd adios i'd get in the cab absolutely hit the dirt come on over here to cbs
we'll get you a nice show
we'll put you we'll put you together a nice show for you
all right
you're no quizling i never i've never been called that
well now will you stay on the on the rest of the show yeah i'm gonna stay like
i do also uh other
than do an update i do like sketches but like i stink in those so uh that you
know he thinks i'm
funny enough uh-huh yeah oh it's just the weekend update he doesn't think you're
funny yeah he doesn't
think i'm funny in weekend update and uh uh god only knows i mean you know he
it's just a matter of
opinion he he also thinks that oj is innocent exactly exactly don't don't let
this pinhead push
you around for heaven's sakes no he's not a pinhead he's a uh he's a he's a fat
guy there we go now come
on norm let's go it's got a little heat on here no it's funny when you don't
like a guy just because
he's fat you know what i mean no it has nothing to do with him being fat no it
doesn't have anything
to do with him being fat you don't like it because he's a dope no no it's just
a you know what i've
always said is uh i've said comedy is subjective i never really said that no i
didn't think i said
i usually say whiskey is good yeah but but norm you're you're very very funny
you're you're like
the strength of that franchise well do you know any guys over there you can
give a call to well
yeah they're gonna take a call from me you're lucky you're lucky they took your
call so they
could fire you are you kidding well but there are you getting some support from
the rest of the cast
members well you know the the people on the cast like they go uh you know when
you work at a place
you know some people like you some people hate you but uh oh yeah you don't
need to tell me that
so you know people come up to you and go oh man i'm sorry and then uh either
they they're sorry or
they're not sorry yeah that's right so how the hell do you know no you don't
really know but
you can tell well sometimes you can tell like you walk into a room and then
everybody will
stop talking and then so you go hey were you just talking about how you were
glad i got fired from
the update and then you go no no we were talking about uh hats but now let me
go back to this and
i don't want to embarrass you again but if if lauren michaels the guy who
created the show the guy who's
kept the show in business all these years yeah it's his show mr big shot mr
table at orsos lauren michaels why doesn't he
step in why doesn't he throw himself in front of this gorilla to save your job
what's going on
there with that it sounds to me like he's a quizzling he is well that's what it
sounds like maybe we can
get a dictionary at the break but you know what i'm saying this is the guy didn't
lauren michaels hire
you yes he did well then who ought to be able to fire you lauren michaels right
so where was he did
he fire you no he didn't fire but he's like your buddy right your buddies with
yeah he's he's a good man
and what did he say to you been very supportive of him well i guess not
what what did he say to you he said to me he says to me he says
he said look norm this is the deal you know he said i want you to stay on as
weekend update oh good
well there you go well great so you got the job back that's good news
that boy congratulations
hang on stay right there think about it we're going to get this straightened
out all right norm
mcdonald is here from saturday night live peter wilson from la femme nikita
streb you ever seen
these streb people oh they're great they're going to change your life what do
you got there and we
looked up quiz link yeah i looked up yeah and also there's do you know what
quiz master means yeah
that'd be like alex gerbeck yeah yeah i did that no quizling is a master of
ceremonies on a game show
there you go now quizling is a traitor who serves as the puppet of the enemy
occupying his country
exactly that's what i'm talking about thank you very much no you sir are no
quizling i thought i was
dumb when i didn't know what quizling was i think i'm even dumber now because i
still don't know
but now norm a couple of things come to mind here this seems so preposterous to
me so unfathomable so
unreasonable that i'm guessing oh it's like a stunt like a publicity stunt like
big time wrestling or
something is that that kind of deal where you and don olmeyer will have a feud
and you'll wrestle on
the show or something for your job one of those deals no no i like don oh no
how can you like this
weasel fired you no but he doesn't think i'm funny and yet you like the man
sure i don't i mean you
know here's here's what a lot of people don't think i'm funny enjoy your
complimentary beverage now
tomorrow night it ain't whiskey but it's good now there's a great song now
tomorrow night
tomorrow night come back on the show or friday night come back on the show and
do weekend update
you can do weekend update here you can be the weekend update guy on this show
that'd be great well
there you go
now who's who's taking your place on the weekend update i don't know apparently
they had some press
release today but i don't i don't read the papers which is that wasn't good
either yeah no not if
you're in charge of weekend update to just blatantly admit that you don't know
what's going on i did too
many nixon jokes yeah i'll tell you one thing i'll tell you who's taking your
place nobody can take
your place mcdonald that's what i think
you don't seem to be taking this too hard you seem to be taking it pretty well
well i mean i don't know
because uh if if somebody doesn't like you then uh and they uh own the joint
you know that's fine i
mean i don't know why would you want to work in that atmosphere why wouldn't
you want to take a hike and
say well i'll show you i'll take my little weekend update someplace else and
bury you punks
i don't know i don't know i guess i'm like damn quizzling or something
well jeez i hope you land on your feet i think you're gonna but you're gonna be
in part of the
show anyway right yeah i'll be doing you know i know things yeah i'll be you
know now i thought
the hilarious impression of me you'll be doing that i guess why didn't they
fire that
what they do is they uh now they're saying oh we'll put you in a whole bunch of
sketches which
i don't want to be in because then they're like here you're the scientist and
uh uh you you uh you're
the scientist in charge of monkey boy or something damn thing and uh you know
and then i'm like running
in going hey uh cheerleaders what's going on i i haven't seen monkey boy and i
don't know how to
i don't know that ain't a bad sketch though that's true that ain't bad that's
got possibilities um
how's everything at home your mom all right oh yeah you get to see your mom
much uh she came to visit
me in new york you know that's nice and she's uh real sweet you know she she
doesn't know much about
show business you know but she always tries because she knows i'm in show
business right yeah i mean
until tonight and uh so she always tries to give me like the showbiz news i
remember like a couple
of years ago she phoned me up she goes uh oh my god have you heard the news uh
liza minnelli's
a phony and that was her like story liza minnelli's a phony yeah and i thought
how can that be like
a story like uh man i'm sure she probably is a phony you know but how would
that be a scoop and then
like it took me a while to figure out she was talking about uh them i remember
millie vanilli yeah
oh she's like into that stuff you know she must be very excited and proud
though i mean what because
you work with big big stars like you've worked with i know you've worked with
bill cosby oh yeah bill
cosby man he was he's my favorite guy ever since i was young and i got to open
for him at this comedy
thing and he was the greatest i got to meet him and stuff and you know when you
meet these guys it's so like
you know you're a shock or something you know because you can't believe you're
talking to this
guy and uh and so i told him i said you know he's always funny he has that
funny way of talking so i
go hey hi nice to meet you mr cosby and he goes like yes yes you