Name: Dave Answers His Voluminous Voicemails | Letterman @TheNorthFace
Uploaded: 2022-05-09T15:02:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Answers His Voluminous Voicemails | Letterman @TheNorthFace' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Answers His Voluminous Voicemails | Letterman @TheNorthFace' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-09. Transcript available.

Hi, I'm Barbara. This is Dave.
Hi, thank you very much for having me on your program.
It's very kind of you. Glad to see you're well.
Yeah, I'm well, and thanks for coming.
Thank you.
So we have these voicemail messages.
Is this a podcast?
No, it feels like a podcast.
We have these voicemail messages. Let's see if this works.
You know who has a podcast is that Joe Rogan.
Oh, yeah, that's...
That's huge.
Yeah, we don't...
Millions and millions of people.
Yes.
How is your podcast doing?
No, I don't have a podcast.
Okay, let's see. Here we go.
Hey, Barbara, can you ask Mr. Beast if he likes Dave's glasses?
I don't know what that means.
Now, I know Mr. Beast.
He's like...
We're co-workers.
We work for YouTube, and so does Mr. Beast.
Right.
And I don't think Mr. Beast knows me or knows about my glasses.
I'm not sure.
By the way, is this the show where we're taking nothing but climbing questions?
No, I think that's another show.
No, I was told that North Face...
Are we live on the Internet now?
No, we're not live.
Thanks to the folks at North Face for setting this up for us.
Let me...
Just reading one of the questions.
No, we're not getting questions.
Oh, there's a question about going up the nose of El Cap.
Okay, so today we're taking...
We're live on the Internet today, and we're taking all your questions about
climbing.
Go ahead.
No, we're not live.
We're listening to messages.
Okay.
The next one.
Happy belated birthday, Dave.
Hey, Dave.
How do you stay so fit at 75?
I don't know what the man's talking about.
He says you look fit, and do you have Chinese food?
But it was the same guy who had the other question, wasn't it?
I know they all sound the same, but I don't think it is the same guy.
Okay, we're taking all your climbing questions today.
Yep, I have done some ice climbing.
I don't enjoy it, but I have.
And no, I don't free solo.
What's the most scared or frightened you ever were during a taping of a show?
It was my first and second attempt of the shark fin meru.
Because the weather turned, we had some bad weather information,
and we were running out of food, and we were stuck.
And it's the only time you ever really feel alive when you're in a situation
like that.
And we had to make a decision.
Are we going to weather the storm and summit when it broke, or just try to get
down?
And as you know, most of the trouble comes on the descent.
So I won't lie to you, we did not summit Meru.
But that's the most frightened I've ever been.
Thank you.
And thanks to the folks at the North Face for making this happen.
Let's hear this one.
Hi, Barbara.
This is Josh from Crystal Springs, Mississippi.
I have a question.
Is that really Dave's beard, or is it just an elaborate makeup job?
Thank you.
It's phony.
It's prosthetic.
Do you remember the guy at the hair club for men?
What was his name?
Cy Sperling.
Cy Sperling.
His son, Cy Sperling Jr., does face work.
And he contacted me when the show went off the air.
And he said, look, you can go one of two ways.
Facelift, Botox, that kind of thing.
And I said, no thanks.
And he said, I'm glad to hear you say that.
Why don't you come in?
We're working on a thing where we take the hair, very similar in DNA to human
hair, is hamster hair.
And we can transplant, put hamster hair plugs in your face.
And I said, whoa.
And anyway, we tried it.
Thanks.
My thanks to Cy Sperling Jr.
And to the folks at the North Face.
Why would you use hamster hair?
I don't know.
You just, it's compatibly.
Genetically, it's compatible.
Really?
Hey, Barbara.
Big fan of you and Dave and the whole show.
I was wondering if we can have the true behind-the-scenes story of the
legendary Joaquin Phoenix interview from you.
What did you guys know before?
What didn't you guys know before?
What did Dave know before?
There's a lot of rumors going on the internet.
And I'd love to hear from you.
Take care.
First of all, there are no rumors.
There are no rumors going on.
And Joaquin Phoenix, gosh, I enjoyed that so much.
When he came on and he pretended that he was involved in hip-hop and was going
to turn his career all to music instead of working as an actor.
Fine actor.
A nice guy.
He was always a lot of fun to have on the show.
And he and I went up the Don Wall together out in Yosemite.
And that was fun.
A lot of bolts.
I think we put in maybe 160 bolts.
And we got up in four days.
But quite a climber.
So was that the question?
I don't think so.
Let's hear what the next one is.
Hi, Barbara Gaines.
Big fan of your show.
It's the same man every time.
My question is for Dave.
If you ever have him back on the show, I would like to know, Dave, how did you
spend your birthday?
And what is the greatest part about being an old guy?
Well, I'll take the last part first.
The great thing about being an old man is whenever I summit, I break records
for being the oldest man up.
And I've got my focus now pretty much on Himalaya in that area.
So anytime I go up one, congratulations.
I'm now the oldest man up.
My birthday, tacos, tacos, and tacos.
Is there any better birthday, really, than tacos?
No.
Yep.
That's the end of the questions.
Thank goodness.
I just want to say thank you to the folks at the North Face for setting this up.
Let's see.
Oh, I get this a lot.
Yeah, how do you go to the bathroom when you're on a ledge?
Look, Google it somewhere.
I'm not going to get into that.
Sure.
All right.
So that's the end of it.
No, I don't live in my van anymore.
I do consider myself not one of the originals, but yes, I am a dirtbag.
And Camp 4 at Yosemite, if you get a chance to go there, it's like, it's Mecca.
Take it from me.
Wait, did you say you were a dirtbag?
Yes.
Yeah.
Oh, that's one of my climbing buddies now.
So again, I keep reading these.
This is so silly.
Tommy Caldwell and I have done some climbing in South America.
He's great.
Lost his thumb, you know.
But he can still, yeah.
No, I do, like, I still go to the climbing gyms.
And it's like people say to me, what are you doing here?
And I say, well, what are you doing here?
Sure, climber like you.
Yeah.
I think that's it for today.
Okay.
Well, thanks again to the folks at the North Face.
This has been fun.
This has been weird.
Have you ever actually climbed in that one?
No.
Thank you.