Name: Bill Maher's Had An Easy Life | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-05-13T22:07:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Maher's Had An Easy Life | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Maher's Had An Easy Life | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-13. Transcript available.

My next guest is a talented stand-up comedian who has just finished filming a
role in a motion
picture called DC Cab. We're happy to have him back here again. A very funny
young man,
Mr. Bill Maher. Bill. Thank you very much. What a nice ovation. I appreciate
that. Great to be
back here in New York City. I love it because it's a different life, different
attitude. A lot of
danger here. Driving around the streets are dangerous. Of course, that's all
over the country
now because there's so many people who have to speed just to get their job done.
Cops, truckers.
The worst, of course, are these Federal Express guys. I mean, when it has to be
there
overnight, old ladies in the crosswalk don't mean a hell of a lot. But New York
is, this
is the best because, you know, here people really don't think that the laws of
the road
are laws. Red lights, speed limits, these aren't traffic laws. They're just
traffic tips.
Red light means slow down if you'd like. If you were thinking about stopping,
maybe here.
No atheists in potholes, you know. Probably the most dangerous way to drive is
with kids
in the car. Kids know this instinctively, that if they're in the back seat and
dad is
alone up front doing 60 on a highway, he's neutralized. You know, those threats
become meaningless.
I don't want to have to come back there.
The guy is not coming back. That's why they invented rest stops, places for
parents to beat
their children. Sign says, "Gas, food, beatings." Check it out.
My parents are across the river in New Jersey. Thank you.
You're way too enthusiastic.
No, they live, I grew up there and my parents moved from the city to the
suburbs when the kids were born.
They said to make our life easier. And then during my life, my father has done
nothing but give me grief about having an easy life.
I finally said, "Dad, I would have gone to Vietnam, but I had little league."
Give me a break, you know.
See, parents are always remembering their tough days. They project it on you.
The depression.
I heard about this all the time. Everything was the depression. Nothing was
ever wasted in my house.
My father would walk into the kitchen. He'd go, "You know, the black banana is
the best one."
We'd go, "Okay, you eat it. Here's a straw. It's a little mushy."
But that's it. They're always remembering their tough days. Every time we'd
complain, it was always the depression.
My father would go, "You know, in the 30s, the whole country was in a
depression."
I was a kid, I didn't know what he was talking about. I used to think, "Wow,
the whole country staying in bed watching TV all day."
Other countries coming by to cheer us up. I don't know.
Countries trying to shame us out of it. "What are you depressed about?"
You're an attractive country.
You're well-liked around. Moping never solved anything.
Gotta get out, do, meet other countries.
Thank you.
Yeah, government would never use that word anymore. You know that.
They use, not depression. That sounds better. You know the one they use, right?
That said, recession. That sounds better. That sounds like recess.
People aren't out of work. They're just playing kickball.
Not easy being a parent. Try to name a kid. There's a tough job.
You ever try to name a kid? Some people have solved this.
Swedish people, you ever meet Swedish people? Very guttural names.
Sven! Okay.
Found out what this is. Swedish mothers give the name of the child as they're
giving birth.
It's during the actual delivery. Whatever grunting...
Olaf!
Bjornborg!
That's the name of the child.
Sometimes it's an easy birth.
Ooskadoo.
Just so I get it.
Terrific. Thank you very much.
Thank you, folks. I'm sorry we're running short on time, Bill.
It happens.
Very nice job.
Very nice. Nice to see you again.
Nice to be seen.
You're going to be traveling.
I'll be in South Carolina at the Punch Line and I'll be at the East Side Comedy
Club this week.
Good. You can come back and see us also.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much, folks. We'll see you tomorrow night. Good night.
We'll see you tomorrow night.