Name: Michael Che Doesn't Want To Be In Love | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-05-27T00:53:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Michael Che Doesn't Want To Be In Love | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Michael Che Doesn't Want To Be In Love | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-27. Transcript available.

our next guest is a very talented comedian we couldn't be happier to have him
with us tonight
and by the way you can see him live saturday at catch a rising star in providence
rhode island
now he's making his uh television network television debut and we're very proud
that
it's here ladies gentlemen michael che oh man this is uh this is this is
fantastic man i'm from new
york i'm from low east side manhattan which is a gentrified neighborhood and uh
if you don't know
what gentrified means it's basically when a bunch of white people move to a
messed up neighborhood
and then open up cupcake stores everywhere
and so even in a recession too and i know it's a recession because i went to
one of those
occupied wall street marches because i wanted to see some protesters get tased
and
i saw a white lady there holding the sign that said damn the police
i wanted to rob her on principle just to see how committed she was
it's cool i mean you know i said new york's cool it's a it's a very liberal
town you know and i get
i get afraid with liberal audiences because you know liberal audiences are
sometimes more
conservative than conservative audiences you know because liberal people are
only people that get
offended on behalf of people that's not even at the show
i think i think i think i'm i think i'm liberal because i'm poor and i'm black
but
i also listen to a lot of gangster rap which is probably the most conservative
thing you could
possibly do i didn't give money to mitt romney's campaign but i did buy kanye
west tickets and that's
similar i basically just gave somebody money to listen how irresponsibly he
wanted to spend my money
i don't know people keep talking about the recession you know it's not that bad
man we
still got shows on tv like the biggest loser we got so much food in this
country we got to figure out
a contest of how not to eat it all messed up countries don't have that there's
no biggest loser ethiopia
i do i do think the gay marriage i think that's a big i think that's a big
issue you know i'm for
a gay marriage because i can't think of a good reason to be against it i heard
this one guy on tv he goes
come on man you can't let gay people get married what's next people are going
to want to marry animals
and i was like yep hey man i eat animals if you want to marry one that's your
business
i'm pretty sure i'm doing the worst thing to it
if i was a goat and you asked me if he was like yo goat would you rather be
chopped up in this
jamaican lady stew or marry this strange farmer it wouldn't be the toughest
decision i made as a goat
i don't want to be in love anyway man i don't i don't want to be in love i'm a
big fan of like
though i'll take like over love any day notice the difference obligation if i
like somebody i get to
like them till i don't like them no more and then i can stop taking their calls
is the way out is the
end of it if i love somebody you love them forever even if you don't like them
no more and there's
nothing worse than being in love with somebody you can't stand man there's no
exit strategy out of
love that's why if you watch the news you'll see people kill loved ones all the
time nobody ever kills
people they like though nobody's watching you sleep to your bedroom window
because you seem pretty cool
this is really cool to do man you know because i was never really a good
student in school
you know i was always bad i used to cut class a lot you know i had a teacher
tell me in the seventh
grade i'd never amount to nothing and i never forgot that as long as i live and
i seen her recently too
in a supermarket by herself buying like 40 cans of cat food and i stopped there
too i was like hey
miss conroy remember you told me i'd never amount to nothing and she was like
yes and i looked her dead
in the face and i was like lucky guess