Name: CBS Mailbag: Martha Stewart Is Here And She's Pissed Off | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-06-09T14:15:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'CBS Mailbag: Martha Stewart Is Here And She's Pissed Off | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'CBS Mailbag: Martha Stewart Is Here And She's Pissed Off | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-09. Transcript available.

okay actual letters from actual viewers they write in we try to answer them if
we can
uh what brand of soap do you use lalane bulala manila philippines uh well uh it's
a good question
the kind of thing i hardly ever think about i don't really i'm not partial to i
don't know like
all right dave is that a soap yeah dave like ivory yeah dave something like
that
david those are excuse me david yes alan calter our announcer yes alan what can
i do for you i just
wanted to take this opportunity to mention my favorite brand of soap i'm sorry
you want to
mention your favorite i have a favorite brand of soap irish spring irish spring
irish spring you know
is uh it's soothing it's rich lather leaves my skin feeling fresh and revitalized
and clean as a whistle
now what you know alan that sounded like a commercial what was that oh no no i
was i i
i don't know what you're talking about there oh oh oh please oh i'll plug your
damn soap on the show
ah oh mercy oh i'll do whatever you say irish spring ask for it by name back to
you dave thank you very
much alan
he was beaten by pixies or something those pixies or leprechauns i don't know
he denies it though
he says nothing happened no nothing happened at all uh letter number two dear dave
i was wondering uh how
you unwind after each show carol edwards richmond virginia uh well that's also
a good question and it's
tough because uh i put every ounce of my energy each and every night in here to
entertain america and paul
and i re thank you really and paul and i really knock ourselves out here every
night pretending to have
a good time and so when you get home you know what i do i like to read you know
what's fun to read is the
the new york times you read the new york times oh it's uh i like it because it's
a good bargain for
uh the price you pay for it and but boy have they had a lot of trouble uh you
know they make up stories
they had that the 27 year old reporter who would just lie about stuff and then
the phony bylines and
he'd say he'd be in one place he'd be in another place he'd just lie and make
stuff up and then
they everything they got all hot and bothered and they fired the guy and then a
lot of people had to
quit and so the the new york times really is in shambles right now have you
seen the commercials
they're running oh they have a commercial now yes here's what i did last night
i was very busy at home
watching tv yes i i t-voted uh-huh then i taped it yes then i brought it in all
right hi i'd like to
start getting home delivery of the new york times if you call now you'll save
50 off the regular home
delivery price then get the stories affecting your life both real and fabricated
the times helps me
escape from today's world like a comic book reading real newspapers is hard man
do they love making up crap
the new york times call today uh hey dave do you use the turn signals bob muir
in detroit michigan
this is a it's a question about cars from the motor city how about that yeah
and of course i use
turn signals bob but but if you want more concrete proof as to the importance
of safe driving measures
take a look at this public service announcement from the triple a
hi we here at triple a believe that a safe driver is a good driver
so always be sure to signal when making turns changing lanes and entering or
exiting highways
also remember to signal three to four seconds before you change lanes so other
drivers will have
time to react lastly always remember to keep your eyes on the road as you never
know
uh hey dave how about getting a recipe contest started with martha stewart as
the judge
uh thank you susan hazard hazard valley center california well this is an
interesting question
as well i think they've all been pretty good tonight martha stewart as you know
has had an awfully
difficult week but ladies and gentlemen to her credit guess what she's here
tonight please welcome martha stewart
thank you very much for being here martha you look lovely as always i can't
tell you how sorry i was
to hear that you've been indicted ain't no thang uh-huh you know not the first
time i've been in the
hole it won't be the last i see well that's certainly a good attitude i guess
and i wasn't aware it looks
like you're already in prison i didn't know that yeah i decided to go in early
i don't want to get
this monkey pox that's going around well you're sure not going to get it in
prison now uh the charges
if i understand this correctly are that you profited from inside information is
that what it is oh crap
that reminds me give me yourself uh oh here you go
it's me listen put 15 large on the spurs that's right the nets are going to
take a dive
yes i'm sure i got a call from commissioner stern you know what i mean hey
thanks a lot
he gave jackie two cigarettes jackie don't even smoke whatever yeah now uh martha
i want to ask you
what is what is prison life like for you well dave it's a lot like being in
bridgehampton right
what up bridgehampton east hampton in effect
what are you what are you talking about what are you talking about they talk
like that
so uh martha uh by the way i like how you're trimming your beard it's nice
thank you uh do
you think oh my god are you bleeding what is that look out what happened oh the
other women must have
shibbed me for luck uh-huh you girls like me you really like me okay that's
fine martha do you have
any final words for us are we still on for my conjugal visit the weekend of the
27th yeah i'll be there
my friend good enough good enough arthur stewart ladies president bush he
departed me or i spill my guts about iraq