Name: Barbara Gaines Meets Another Barbara Gaines | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-06-10T14:20:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Barbara Gaines Meets Another Barbara Gaines | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Barbara Gaines Meets Another Barbara Gaines | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-10. Transcript available.

Uh, here we go.
You know, over the past few years,
we've gotten to know and love our own loyal
and very vocal production coordinator, Barbara Gaines.
Isn't that right, Barbara?
Yeah, sure!
That's Barbara Gaines back there.
And a few weeks ago, something very peculiar happened.
Isn't that right, Barbara?
Yeah!
Yeah.
So, to straighten out all of this intrigue for us tonight,
please say hello to production coordinator on this program,
Ms. Barbara Gaines.
Barbara, come out here and introduce yourself to the folks.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Very nice of you to be here.
Please have a seat.
That's your little squeaky mouse-like voice we hear every night, isn't it?
Yes.
That's right.
And, uh, what strange thing happened a couple of weeks ago?
Well?
Oh.
Okay, no, I can do this.
Wait.
I got this, um...
Got a letter, didn't you?
I got a letter.
Got a letter.
And, uh, this woman wrote saying that she had the same name as mine.
Another Barbara Gaines.
Another Barbara Gaines.
Here in Manhattan.
Here in Manhattan.
And she kept getting these, um, messages on her machine from, like, people
needing money
and, um, uh, people harassing her.
All the messages that I didn't get on my machine she got.
Mm-hmm.
And, um...
You felt cheated, didn't you?
No, I'm really glad.
Um, my, my college keeps calling her for alumni money.
Um, and I guess she saw the Rolling Stone article and figured out that I was a
Barbara Gaines that everyone wanted.
You were on the cover one week, weren't you?
No.
I mean, no, because the staff was in the picture.
So she, uh, so she wrote to me this long letter complaining about, you know,
goes on and on about all the problems.
It's a mix-up, and it's a bothersome mix-up for this other Barbara Gaines, who
lives here in Manhattan, and we're going to meet her in a second, aren't we?
Yeah.
Okay.
I, I thought, I, I called her because I, I keep getting jury duty, so I was
hoping she would do it for me.
Mm-hmm.
But she, um, she doesn't want to do it for me.
Now, are you going to be on the jury or not?
No, I, I keep deferring.
Well, sooner or later, you've got to be on jury duty.
I know, so it'll be...
Oh, yeah, they're going to go for that.
Uh, so to clear this mess up, we have invited the other Barbara Gaines to be on
this program.
Are you back there, Barbara?
Yeah, back here.
Ooh.
Well.
Well.
Uh, from New York City, please welcome law student Barbara Gaines.
Barbara, come out now.
Barbara, it's a pleasure to meet you.
Thank you very much for being here.
Now, uh, uh, Barbara mentioned a couple of the items in the letter that you, uh,
sent to her about the problems of having the same name and so on and so forth.
Anything else you can, uh, tell us about how you've been sort of bothered by
this?
Well, um, the first time that, I mean, that I was, started to take a lot of
interest in Barbara was, um, was when I got a, um, a phone call that...
Uh, it was on my machine and, um, the person said, Barbara, you...
Uh-oh!
Oh!
Hey.
David is gone.
He's gone.
Well, let's just keep moving.
Look, Barbara, I think we understand the point.
You're hedging around the bush there.
So we have here $30.62.
Now, we want you to take this money
and get yourself a bar of soap for your mouth
and an unlisted phone.
Now, this should cover you getting an unlisted phone number
in Manhattan for a year, okay?
Well, what about the psychiatric care for my loss of identity crisis?
All right.
Now, take the money there, Barbara.
Thank you.
And it's certainly been a pleasure meeting you.
But, you know, we found out that there are some other rather striking perhaps
coincidences
that we'd like to share with the vast American viewing public.
Take a look here now at some of the interesting comparisons.
The Barbara Gaines, for example, and the other Barbara Gaines.
The first category is number of letters in the name.
And for the Barbara Gaines, it's 13.
The other Barbara Gaines, also 13.
The next category.
I understand the family name.
Oh, yes.
Anything to make this longer.
I understand the family name for you, Barbara, used to be what?
Ginsburg.
And for the other Barbara Gaines?
Ginsburg.
Ginsburg, as well.
Okay, I'm hurrying.
Please.
The next category.
Birthplace.
The Barbara Gaines was born Long Island.
And the other Barbara Gaines, also Long Island.
All right.
Now, that brings us to the category of current residents.
And for both Barbara Gaines, I believe we have Manhattan and Manhattan.
Next.
Next, we have the category siblings.
The Barbara Gaines has a brother who is nine years older named Ira.
The other Barbara Gaines also has a brother nine years older named Victor.
Our next category is affiliations.
The Barbara Gaines is a life member of Hadassah.
And the other Barbara Gaines is a member of the Book of the Month Club.
Our next category, middle name.
The Barbara Gaines, sadly, has no middle name.
The other Barbara Gaines is named Isabelle.
That's your middle name.
It's a lovely name.
Isabelle.
Barbara.
Isabelle Gaines.
And finally, are we out of categories?
Oh, no.
We're not.
Favorite wine for the Barbara Gaines is white.
The other Barbara Gaines, also white.
Next, we have favorite winter fabric.
Oh, my God.
The Barbara Gaines selects wool.
The other Barbara Gaines, also wool.
Finally.
Oh, favorite member of Hall & Oates.
The Barbara Gaines prefers Daryl Hall.
The other Barbara Gaines prefers Daryl Hall.
It's a pleasure to have both of you ladies out here.
Paul, I believe you have a little something for us.
Go right ahead, Paul.
Thank you.
Yeah, all your life you dream about, a special kind of girl.
But now I'm seeing double.
And my head is in a whirl.
Yeah, cause life is twice as sweet.
Cause when we count our gains, there's two.
Barbara Gaines.
And Barbara Gaines.
Barbara Gaines.
And Barbara Gaines.
That's yous.
And Barbara Gaines.
That's yous.
And Barbara Gaines.
That's yous.
And Barbara Gaines.
That's yous.
And Barbara Gaines.
That's yous.
And Barbara Gaines.
That's yous.
And Barbara Gaines.
That's yous.
And Barbara Gaines.
That's yous.
And Barbara Gaines.
And we'll be right back.