Name: Fan Request: New Jersey Teen Takes His Drivers Test Live | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-06-10T22:26:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fan Request: New Jersey Teen Takes His Drivers Test Live | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fan Request: New Jersey Teen Takes His Drivers Test Live | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-10. Transcript available.

now uh the other fascinating thing that we're going to do on the program
tonight uh on april
7th 1999 we met a young man he was 16 years old at the time named paul fiore
you remember paul
very well paul fiore we had him come on the show and he was out on 53rd street
he and his father
were in the family car and paul was uh trying to parallel park he had his uh
learner's permit or
his beginning driving permit and he was testing his parallel parking skills
because he knew
that i guess when he turned 17 he would be taking his actual driving test and
in the state of new
jersey i'm told now you have to be 17 years old well today is the day and uh paul
on the show tonight
ladies and gentlemen this is going to be very exciting will be taking his new
jersey driver's
license driving test right here live on the show
very nice kid he attends uh nutley uh high school and uh lives in nutley new
jersey and uh
couldn't be a nicer kid he's a great now here's here's take a look at his
experience parallel parking
because it'll be part of the test this is april 7th 1999 actually this doesn't
look that bad compared
to later attempts we're rubbing a little paint all right this is may 4th a
month later 1999 he curbed it
here we go september 21st 1999
so you see what happened i'm afraid it looks to me like the kid peaked a little
early
he got worse yeah but no uh no more excuses uh because tonight is the night he
gets one chance
to pass the test i understand he's passed the written exam but tonight he'll be
taking the driving
portion of that test all right let's turn on the big cbs satellite let's go
live out to new jersey where
he will be taking his road test hey paul how you doing all right today is the
day it sure is
congratulations and good luck my friend how do you feel feel all right did you
do anything uh by way
of special preparation for the big day not really yeah not attaboy are you
confident i'm confident
yes all right and uh the gentleman to your right is uh whom bob calderon hi paul
bob paul bob bob and paul
all right and you are the examiner that's going to be giving the test correct
all right and tell us
now what are we looking at what are the phases of the test he's got to complete
here tonight okay there's
three phases to test the first one's going to be the right turn at a stop sign
where he'll make a
complete okay this one sounds pretty easy you can do this can't you paul you
can do this paul yeah that's
easy paul i love the happening necklace
okay so that's phase one right turn at a stop sign all right bob what's phase
two phase two is a k
turn or a three-point turn we've also three-point turn can you break that down
for us into three
parts how how do you make that three-point turn the k turn it's it's it's trickier
than it sounds
isn't it it's trickier than it sounds yes yes you have to put a signal on check
traffic uh-huh he'll
make the turn to the left he'll back up and then he'll pull up to the right and
that will be the
three-point okay now the k turn unless i'm mistaken here replaced the old j
turn is that correct
i believe so yes it proved upon it i think it did yeah paul how do you feel
right now you
you got to be a little nervous aren't you my friend i'm nervous yeah did you go
to school today
i went to school you left early you probably you left early that a boy and uh
uh all right bob what is phase three of the big test phase three is this
parallel parking parallel
parking all right now we all know what this is now now bob uh is this a
judgment call is this
completely uh subjective or is there any way to objectively determine a
successful parallel parking job
uh he's going to be a certain distance from the curb and um of course he doesn't
want to hit anything
yeah is it possible to get a license in new jersey without a successful
parallel parking attempt
uh it depends each situation is different uh-huh so there is a little room for
negotiation here tonight
there's a little room yes yeah you're shaking your head paul because this is
what's been haunting
you for six months hasn't it the parallel parking have you been doing any
parallel parking yeah parallel
parts since then yeah and you feel like you can drill it tonight you'll nail it
right am i right
of course yeah well you know we have videotape that says otherwise
man alive i'm excited are you guys excited okay now uh so at the end of the day
chances are what do
you think bob he'll he'll walk he'll drive home with the license or dad will
have to come and drive him
home well hopefully he'll drive home tonight you're looking to put him in
traffic that's what you want to do is
that right you want to get him over the curb and in traffic tonight all right
okay this is exciting
paul any questions for the team here no i i can't wait to see it okay all right
paul so uh we're just
going to sit back now and and watch uh the first segment of the test is the uh
come to stop and turn
right was that the first segment of the test yes that's correct okay all right
there we go okay take
it away here we go good luck and godspeed paul now we can't talk to them after
the test begins so here
we go okay all right be careful no cowboy stuff paul you know what i'm saying
all right there's biff with
good luck looks like a nice day in new jersey huh wow look at this we got a
camera right in the car
you know we can put this together in home video and make a million dollars
selling as a driver's aid uh
driver's it got the channel two helicopter covering it it's a big big night in
wayne new jersey
all right here we go this is the first real test of man and machine ah there's
the stop sign okay this
is going to be all right is the signal on is i don't see the signal oh he signaled
a little did he signal a
i don't know did he signal a little late for that turn huh i mean didn't he
creep up to the stop sign
and then sort of turn it on or like 400 feet before you change lanes or
anything isn't that right paul
i think you're right yeah this thing's over back up the crew we can save some
money shut down the
satellite bring the boys up no i'd be very surprised it was that early enough
the signal i think it might
have been okay really 10 feet from the stop sign you can signal well things
have changed since i was a
kid could just for for my sake could we look at the videotape to see where
there it is no no no back it
up before because i don't think it was on as he approached the sign there it is
no it he puts it on
am i right or am i nuts here oh ladies and gentlemen you you beat the clock we
stopped the clock
you got a ruling on that okay you see this you see this happen all the time in
sports you know one
one week a team will have an easy game and they'll look beyond that easy game
to the tougher game down
the road down the schedule i think that's what the kid has done i see he was
concentrating on the parallel
parking and may have fumbled this little turning on the we don't know what do
you mean you don't know
you can't signal 10 feet and be you gotta give people other there are other
motorists on the road
well i never thought of it that way oh you never thought of it that way
all right well we'll see what happens that was paul fiore who's taking right
now in wayne new jersey
taking his driving test to get his first time ever new jersey driver's license
and and state law
prohibits us uh televising uh certain portions of the test really yeah but you
saw them just finishing
up one we've already seen the uh the signal and the turn and i don't know we
have a ruling on that yet
i don't know paul is driving and his instructor is bob calderon and if you know
anything about
driving tests you know he's he's the best he really is
yeah he is the good my friend bob calderon is the gold standard for driving
tests so next uh next
we there he is right there next they'll be doing the uh i think what they have
next is the k-turn
and here's what the k-turn looks like we put together this little animation it's
it's see there
wow that's more complicated than i thought yeah
let me see that again apparently you pull in and then turn the car over
let me see if yeah all right then you jack it up turn it over and then you back
out so you actually
have to roll the car over wow wow thank god i don't have to take a drive i'll
say yeah i mean
with my neck and my back i'd be screwed uh okay so it's the k-turn are we ready
to see if they okay
here we go ladies and gentlemen paul fiore and uh bob calderon and uh that's
the massive uh driving
training testing complex in wayne new jersey that generates about 80 of the
revenue for the town of
wayne new jersey the driving test facility they have out there and you can see
why people come from all
over the world all right here we go this will be the k-turn and we're looking
at you now these pictures
coming live from chopper two give you an idea what's going on in the world of
news today
okay i was hoping to see some blue smoke smell a little rubber here
i don't know
certainly not as exciting as the animation was it
that that was it that was the k-turn okay well i thought i just thought we'd
see a little something
you know the doors hanging open and yeah you know the old bootleg turn blue
smoke
tires screaming that kind of thing all right okay so that means now he only has
the dreaded
parallel parking ahead of him so keep your fingers crossed ladies and gentlemen
light a candle for the
kid all right huh hello parking i don't need to tell you that uh personally
emotionally and sociologically
this is a big moment in any kid's life because if if he if he passes the test
he's a big man all of a
sudden he's like a big shot if he doesn't pass the test he spends the rest of
his life as a dweeb
that's what's at stake here it's huge yeah
a little upset he looked a little upset well it's the tension of it i think
maybe
he knows about that turn signal thing you know
well ladies and gentlemen you've seen it a million times on television that's
the wayne new jersey driver
uh licensed testing center and now we're going to go back out to uh paul fiore
and his uh driving
instructor bob calderon and if you're scoring at home i don't know it looked to
me like there might
have been trouble with the first round uh harold letterman gave the first round
to the instructor
and the second round went to the kids so let's just see we're now up to the
crucial parallel parking
this is the make or the break here now is what we're looking for in the
parallel park take a look at
this here's here's how you successfully parallel park like that there you go
now that's how you
that's how that's a bad job with parallel parking
all right turn on the satellite let's go back out there here we go take it away
this oh it's getting
dark now see this is this is something i hadn't counted on he's now got a
parallel park in the dark
he's got the got the high beams on here we go this could determine the future
of this man's life
here we go he's in motion now got plenty of room i must say this looks like it's
pretty easy
this looks like a done deal to me chill the champagne ladies and gentlemen all
right he's backing up wait
a minute wait easy yeah here we go you put the queen mary in there for god's
sake
all right get the get the stern thrusters ready we're coming ashore
well it ain't up to me it's it's up to the state of new jersey now it's in the
hands of bob calderon
let's oh he's gonna gonna give him another shot it looks like got a very
generous uh driving instructor
i'm gonna try it again okay kind of thing you know later in life by the time he
parallel parks
the party will be over there's no point in getting out of the car
uh wait a minute he's doing doing something highly dangerous
he's perpendicular parking but he's signaling we're gonna we're gonna have to
give it to him he's
signaled what the hell's going on out there maybe a leak in the muffler what is
happening
all right looks like a little tension in the cockpit
all right that's fine what is what exactly
well it's just i guess i guess they've waved it what are they just are they
going what are they
there you have it all right well we'll find out no no wait a minute it may be
all right
we'll be we'll be back to find out how the kid did
is bob the handy bob can i talk to you where is bob calderon bob how did it go
sir he went pretty well
dave let me ask you a question on that first thing did he signal too late or
did he signal
on time making that right to he was on time really i thought it was like 400
feet you get a signal
he was on time all right and how did the rest of the test go not too bad dave
all right too bad
so what is the verdict here paul on behalf of the new jersey division of motor
vehicle i'm happy to
announce you've passed your test you passed the test
all right and here is the governor of the great state of new jersey christine
todd whitman
i got a little something for you that you've a little something for you here
that you've earned
congratulations well done after all this i don't know how you passed it
thank you very much
congratulations paul stay off the turnpike new jersey
we'll see you tomorrow night with john malkovich craig kilport is next good
night everybody

Fan Request: New Jersey Teen Takes His Drivers Test Live | Letterman

now uh the other fascinating thing that we're going to do on the program
tonight uh on april
7th 1999 we met a young man he was 16 years old at the time named paul fiore
you remember paul
very well paul fiore we had him come on the show and he was out on 53rd street
he and his father
were in the family car and paul was uh trying to parallel park he had his uh
learner's permit or
his beginning driving permit and he was testing his parallel parking skills
because he knew
that i guess when he turned 17 he would be taking his actual driving test and
in the state of new
jersey i'm told now you have to be 17 years old well today is the day and uh paul
on the show tonight
ladies and gentlemen this is going to be very exciting will be taking his new
jersey driver's
license driving test right here live on the show
very nice kid he attends uh nutley uh high school and uh lives in nutley new
jersey and uh
couldn't be a nicer kid he's a great now here's here's take a look at his
experience parallel parking
because it'll be part of the test this is april 7th 1999 actually this doesn't
look that bad compared
to later attempts we're rubbing a little paint all right this is may 4th a
month later 1999 he curbed it
here we go september 21st 1999
so you see what happened i'm afraid it looks to me like the kid peaked a little
early
he got worse yeah but no uh no more excuses uh because tonight is the night he
gets one chance
to pass the test i understand he's passed the written exam but tonight he'll be
taking the driving
portion of that test all right let's turn on the big cbs satellite let's go
live out to new jersey where
he will be taking his road test hey paul how you doing all right today is the
day it sure is
congratulations and good luck my friend how do you feel feel all right did you
do anything uh by way
of special preparation for the big day not really yeah not attaboy are you
confident i'm confident
yes all right and uh the gentleman to your right is uh whom bob calderon hi paul
bob paul bob bob and paul
all right and you are the examiner that's going to be giving the test correct
all right and tell us
now what are we looking at what are the phases of the test he's got to complete
here tonight okay there's
three phases to test the first one's going to be the right turn at a stop sign
where he'll make a
complete okay this one sounds pretty easy you can do this can't you paul you
can do this paul yeah that's
easy paul i love the happening necklace
okay so that's phase one right turn at a stop sign all right bob what's phase
two phase two is a k
turn or a three-point turn we've also three-point turn can you break that down
for us into three
parts how how do you make that three-point turn the k turn it's it's it's trickier
than it sounds
isn't it it's trickier than it sounds yes yes you have to put a signal on check
traffic uh-huh he'll
make the turn to the left he'll back up and then he'll pull up to the right and
that will be the
three-point okay now the k turn unless i'm mistaken here replaced the old j
turn is that correct
i believe so yes it proved upon it i think it did yeah paul how do you feel
right now you
you got to be a little nervous aren't you my friend i'm nervous yeah did you go
to school today
i went to school you left early you probably you left early that a boy and uh
uh all right bob what is phase three of the big test phase three is this
parallel parking parallel
parking all right now we all know what this is now now bob uh is this a
judgment call is this
completely uh subjective or is there any way to objectively determine a
successful parallel parking job
uh he's going to be a certain distance from the curb and um of course he doesn't
want to hit anything
yeah is it possible to get a license in new jersey without a successful
parallel parking attempt
uh it depends each situation is different uh-huh so there is a little room for
negotiation here tonight
there's a little room yes yeah you're shaking your head paul because this is
what's been haunting
you for six months hasn't it the parallel parking have you been doing any
parallel parking yeah parallel
parts since then yeah and you feel like you can drill it tonight you'll nail it
right am i right
of course yeah well you know we have videotape that says otherwise
man alive i'm excited are you guys excited okay now uh so at the end of the day
chances are what do
you think bob he'll he'll walk he'll drive home with the license or dad will
have to come and drive him
home well hopefully he'll drive home tonight you're looking to put him in
traffic that's what you want to do is
that right you want to get him over the curb and in traffic tonight all right
okay this is exciting
paul any questions for the team here no i i can't wait to see it okay all right
paul so uh we're just
going to sit back now and and watch uh the first segment of the test is the uh
come to stop and turn
right was that the first segment of the test yes that's correct okay all right
there we go okay take
it away here we go good luck and godspeed paul now we can't talk to them after
the test begins so here
we go okay all right be careful no cowboy stuff paul you know what i'm saying
all right there's biff with
good luck looks like a nice day in new jersey huh wow look at this we got a
camera right in the car
you know we can put this together in home video and make a million dollars
selling as a driver's aid uh
driver's it got the channel two helicopter covering it it's a big big night in
wayne new jersey
all right here we go this is the first real test of man and machine ah there's
the stop sign okay this
is going to be all right is the signal on is i don't see the signal oh he signaled
a little did he signal a
i don't know did he signal a little late for that turn huh i mean didn't he
creep up to the stop sign
and then sort of turn it on or like 400 feet before you change lanes or
anything isn't that right paul
i think you're right yeah this thing's over back up the crew we can save some
money shut down the
satellite bring the boys up no i'd be very surprised it was that early enough
the signal i think it might
have been okay really 10 feet from the stop sign you can signal well things
have changed since i was a
kid could just for for my sake could we look at the videotape to see where
there it is no no no back it
up before because i don't think it was on as he approached the sign there it is
no it he puts it on
am i right or am i nuts here oh ladies and gentlemen you you beat the clock we
stopped the clock
you got a ruling on that okay you see this you see this happen all the time in
sports you know one
one week a team will have an easy game and they'll look beyond that easy game
to the tougher game down
the road down the schedule i think that's what the kid has done i see he was
concentrating on the parallel
parking and may have fumbled this little turning on the we don't know what do
you mean you don't know
you can't signal 10 feet and be you gotta give people other there are other
motorists on the road
well i never thought of it that way oh you never thought of it that way
all right well we'll see what happens that was paul fiore who's taking right
now in wayne new jersey
taking his driving test to get his first time ever new jersey driver's license
and and state law
prohibits us uh televising uh certain portions of the test really yeah but you
saw them just finishing
up one we've already seen the uh the signal and the turn and i don't know we
have a ruling on that yet
i don't know paul is driving and his instructor is bob calderon and if you know
anything about
driving tests you know he's he's the best he really is
yeah he is the good my friend bob calderon is the gold standard for driving
tests so next uh next
we there he is right there next they'll be doing the uh i think what they have
next is the k-turn
and here's what the k-turn looks like we put together this little animation it's
it's see there
wow that's more complicated than i thought yeah
let me see that again apparently you pull in and then turn the car over
let me see if yeah all right then you jack it up turn it over and then you back
out so you actually
have to roll the car over wow wow thank god i don't have to take a drive i'll
say yeah i mean
with my neck and my back i'd be screwed uh okay so it's the k-turn are we ready
to see if they okay
here we go ladies and gentlemen paul fiore and uh bob calderon and uh that's
the massive uh driving
training testing complex in wayne new jersey that generates about 80 of the
revenue for the town of
wayne new jersey the driving test facility they have out there and you can see
why people come from all
over the world all right here we go this will be the k-turn and we're looking
at you now these pictures
coming live from chopper two give you an idea what's going on in the world of
news today
okay i was hoping to see some blue smoke smell a little rubber here
i don't know
certainly not as exciting as the animation was it
that that was it that was the k-turn okay well i thought i just thought we'd
see a little something
you know the doors hanging open and yeah you know the old bootleg turn blue
smoke
tires screaming that kind of thing all right okay so that means now he only has
the dreaded
parallel parking ahead of him so keep your fingers crossed ladies and gentlemen
light a candle for the
kid all right huh hello parking i don't need to tell you that uh personally
emotionally and sociologically
this is a big moment in any kid's life because if if he if he passes the test
he's a big man all of a
sudden he's like a big shot if he doesn't pass the test he spends the rest of
his life as a dweeb
that's what's at stake here it's huge yeah
a little upset he looked a little upset well it's the tension of it i think
maybe
he knows about that turn signal thing you know
well ladies and gentlemen you've seen it a million times on television that's
the wayne new jersey driver
uh licensed testing center and now we're going to go back out to uh paul fiore
and his uh driving
instructor bob calderon and if you're scoring at home i don't know it looked to
me like there might
have been trouble with the first round uh harold letterman gave the first round
to the instructor
and the second round went to the kids so let's just see we're now up to the
crucial parallel parking
this is the make or the break here now is what we're looking for in the
parallel park take a look at
this here's here's how you successfully parallel park like that there you go
now that's how you
that's how that's a bad job with parallel parking
all right turn on the satellite let's go back out there here we go take it away
this oh it's getting
dark now see this is this is something i hadn't counted on he's now got a
parallel park in the dark
he's got the got the high beams on here we go this could determine the future
of this man's life
here we go he's in motion now got plenty of room i must say this looks like it's
pretty easy
this looks like a done deal to me chill the champagne ladies and gentlemen all
right he's backing up wait
a minute wait easy yeah here we go you put the queen mary in there for god's
sake
all right get the get the stern thrusters ready we're coming ashore
well it ain't up to me it's it's up to the state of new jersey now it's in the
hands of bob calderon
let's oh he's gonna gonna give him another shot it looks like got a very
generous uh driving instructor
i'm gonna try it again okay kind of thing you know later in life by the time he
parallel parks
the party will be over there's no point in getting out of the car
uh wait a minute he's doing doing something highly dangerous
he's perpendicular parking but he's signaling we're gonna we're gonna have to
give it to him he's
signaled what the hell's going on out there maybe a leak in the muffler what is
happening
all right looks like a little tension in the cockpit
all right that's fine what is what exactly
well it's j