Name: Ray Romano Went To A Wild Bachelor Party | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-07-29T21:18:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ray Romano Went To A Wild Bachelor Party | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ray Romano Went To A Wild Bachelor Party | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-29. Transcript available.

uh our next guest is an award-winning writer and very talented comedian he will
be performing at
governors in levittown long island now right there we work anthony in on the
bill that's right we get
anthony this gig opening up for ray that's how it's done yeah it wouldn't
bother you would it ray
in fact later you could be like the new martin and lewis
aunt ray and anthony it'd be great we're looking at huge money now uh this kid
will be at levittown
long island and governors march 21st through the 24th do me a favor please
welcome the very funny
ray romano thank you very much well thank you how are you had a you had a good
st patty's day i hope
everybody yeah good wow yeah you've recovered i can tell i had a rough uh
weekend actually i had a
bachelor party the day before i you know i can't do those anymore i'm a married
man with kids like it
it was one of those it was a bachelor party where all the married men had to
meet at the end of the
night and go okay here's what we say we did all right here's what happened we
got in a fight with
some other guys and they ripped our underwear that's all go with that bobby you
you fell and your nipple
got pierced it happens it happens don't cave in
i married myself uh eight years coming up on eight years and we didn't live
together first
although that has its advantages i if you're moving in with a woman here's my
advice and you have no
experience that first day is the crucial day there's choices you make on day
one they don't seem
important like you know like what side of the bed do you want oh i thought that
was trivial that's your
side for life right there i got screwed oh i blew it i blew the call i didn't
look i didn't look at the
the tv angle oh i'm in hell oh it's horrible i gotta watch tv with a big toe in
the middle of the screen
for the rest of my life do you know what that's like that's when i watch a
weather report i just
get from wednesday over that's all horrible thank you
we have uh kids i have a four-year-old daughter and twin two-year-old boys
running around yeah okay
it's always a mixed reaction it's great it's the greatest thing it's just there's
there's two two-year-olds
in my house do you know do you know what one two-year-old can do in a house
well picture
another one right behind him just cheering the other one on you know yeah yeah
throw throw that throw
yes yes beautiful okay now jump you can jump from there yes that's a jump don't
be afraid i did it when i was
one come on hurry hurry we gotta stick our arm in the toilet
oh they're nuts you ever you ever pick one up you ever try to pick up a two-year-old
and carry him
somewhere against his will they they every two-year-old has the same martial
art move really every one of
them everyone has the the anti-lift slide
ah the the beauty of a two-year-old is as active as they are once in a while
something will just grab
them and hold them and it's the simplest thing that's the great thing about a
two-year-old he can be
entertained by nothing you lose that as an adult look what it takes entertain
us now for a two-year-old when a
two-year-old is bored he you know here's ten minutes for a two-year-old a
little of this right here
right here that's it ten minutes sometimes a new noise will get them you know
ladle ladle ladle ladle ladle
that's i really i don't know about you people that doesn't cut it for me
anymore
no one can tell them apart either the twins that gets to be annoying my mother
will babysit for us
and she's frightened by it is it yeah she's great but she's neurotic my mother
my mother's actually
afraid she's going to keep feeding the same one over and over yeah she's psycho
she's nuts
we can't leave them we're afraid we're afraid to go on vacation there'll be a
big fat baby when we come
home nice job beautiful job huh come on they were identical when we left them
look at them now they're siskell and ebert what's wrong thank you yeah she'll
have she has little
methods she'll put like my mother will put nail polish on one of them yeah or
she said one day she told us
she had no problem because one of them had a scratch on his nose she was happy
for the scratch it helped her
which was fine and then it frightened me because i didn't remember the scratch
being there when we
left the house that's right it's a horrible thought but i wouldn't put it past
my mother she panics
she's oh have a good time okay you're matthew that's matthew matthew matthew
has a scratch and he's a cry baby
oh okay thank you very much
ray romano ladies and gentlemen thank you very much