Name: Anne Heche's Twinning Soap Opera Roles | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-08-12T20:21:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Anne Heche's Twinning Soap Opera Roles | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Anne Heche's Twinning Soap Opera Roles | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-12. Transcript available.

Our first guest stars on the popular HBO television series
entitled Hung.
It airs Sunday nights at 10 p.m.
Here's the lovely Anne Heche, ladies.
This, uh, this show, uh, it just couldn't have a less appealing title.
Well, it depends on who you're talking to.
Yeah, yeah.
I think everybody here likes it.
Oh, don't get me wrong, I like it.
Uh, how you doing?
I'm great, thanks.
I think we color-coordinated.
I like your time.
Well, you know, it's by no accident, believe me.
It is.
He called me beforehand.
Woo-hoo-hoo!
Yee!
Ah.
Uh, is it true that somebody, uh, we can't even talk about this.
Somebody, uh, no, we can't talk about it.
All right, let's not.
No, it's boring.
No, but is it true that it happened?
It did.
It did.
Do you know what he's talking about?
No.
Well, our summer has been so boring, except that last week our house was robbed.
Is that what you're talking about?
That's what I'm talking about, yes.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
No, that's awful.
I didn't, I didn't want to mention it because it's so awful, you don't want to
mention it.
It's awful.
It was, yeah, it is a little dirty.
Where, where do you live?
I live in Los Angeles.
What's the address?
I'll tell you that later.
See, that's why we don't want to talk about it because you don't want, there
are people
out there who think, well, let's drive by again.
Well, there's nothing in it now.
Yeah.
I said, no, they cleaned it out.
So, you know, computers and iPods.
Did they, and they must know whose house they were in.
I don't know if they, now they do.
Yeah, now they do.
I mean, you look on my computer and you know, it's me.
But no, it was, it was, it was, it was kind of upsetting.
Yes, a violation like that is, is supreme and it stays with you.
And, and it makes you want to sell the house.
Are you going to sell it?
Absolutely not.
No, no, we'll just buy more stuff and put it in there.
Did, did the police come out right away?
Um, yeah, the cops came, detectives came and, you know, we had to tell Homer,
of course,
you know, because he wondered why, you know, people were coming to the house
dressed in uniform.
Right.
So we had to sit him down and kind of explain it to him.
How old is he?
He's eight.
Oh, that's awful.
So, yeah, we didn't want him to be upset.
See, this is why I didn't want to bring it up.
I'm sorry.
Well, he was, he was kind of okay about it.
You know, he said, Homer, we want to tell you what happened.
And then the house got robbed.
Some things were taken.
And he says, oh, what was taken?
And all the computers, you know, oh, sorry.
Some, some jewelry.
Oh, that's too bad, mom.
You know, James's camera.
Yeah, that's too bad.
The Wii.
What?
The Wii, yeah.
The Wii?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Was there a game in it?
Oh.
Oh, my God.
So all the kids want to know, you know.
And I, and I know for a fact, they'll, you'll never get that stuff back.
They'll never find that stuff, will they?
Oh, absolutely not.
Yeah, of course not.
No, they tell you they're going to know.
Absolutely not.
Oh, we'll put a trace on it.
Yeah, right.
They might put a trace on it, but they're never going to find it.
No, they're going to put a trace.
They're going to draw a line right through our names and say, that, that one,
no, we won't
find it.
Oh, that's too bad.
Well, I'm very, very sorry about that.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how has your summer been?
Fantastic summer.
Yeah?
Just a beautiful time with our kids.
Good.
It's been lovely.
We've been exercising, decided to get healthy, you know, started taking
vitamins for the first
time.
Now, the vitamins, what's the deal?
Some people say don't waste your time.
They're horrible.
It's just, I feel worse than I ever have.
Really?
It's just, why take them?
Yeah, I don't understand it.
What all are you taking?
I mean, just a whole bunch of stuff with letters, you know, B and A and D and R,
and it's just
like, what is the point?
Well, some people will say that some vitamin, I don't even know which one, they
say, oh,
absolutely, you take this one.
And then you say, well, yeah, what about zinc?
And they say, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft.
Waste of time taking zinc.
What about selenium?
All right, are you nuts?
Why take selenium?
Yeah, so I don't know, how do you know what to take?
You don't, I just use them for code words in the house when you want to get it
on, you
know what I mean?
Like, honey, honey, it's time for your B12 shot.
Code words?
I'm going to use selenium now, though, James.
Wow, code words, I like that.
Selenium time.
Code words, that's exciting.
It is, just go to the vitamin store, you can have a ton of them.
Yeah.
Hey, who are we talking about?
And we can do the D and we can do the D.
Are you married?
I am, uh, no, I'm not married.
No, but I've been with James now for over four years.
Four years.
But you were married to a guy that turned out to be, you weren't crazy about
him, right?
Vitamin R or something, I think it was, yeah, yeah.
What does James do?
James is an actor as well.
Oh, good, how's that going?
Is he on the show, the same show?
Is me?
Is he on Hong?
No, he's not on Hong.
What kind of stuff is he on?
He, actually...
Oh, no, I mean...
Much cleaner.
What kind of shows?
James actually was on a season of Mercy last year, I think, which was shot here,
a medical
drama, and now he's going to be on Grey's Anatomy.
That's good.
There you go.
Congratulations.
What about, what about Homer?
Is he inclined to be an actor, do you think?
You know what, I think he's starting to get the bug, but I think it's so he can
pick up girls.
I think now the girls in school are starting to kind of catch on that his mom
is an actress,
and so they say, you know, that's kind of cool, and so I think he thinks, like,
wow, what if I was an actor?
Maybe I'd get that little eight-year-old, you know what I mean?
Well, um...
It starts young.
It starts young.
But does he, does he, I mean, what kind of a kid is he?
Just like, he gets up in the morning, what's he like to do?
Oh, you know, tell me how much he loves me.
You know, they're just so wonderful and warm and cozy.
Mom, what can I do for you today?
You know what, though?
He actually did do something so gorgeous, I can't even believe it.
We were teaching him about being, what it means to be a generous person.
What does that mean, to live in gratitude and be generous?
That's great.
And the other day, he whispered in James' ear that he wanted to do something
for me,
and he went out and bought me a necklace.
That's nice.
And it has a key on it, and I said, Homer, is this the key to your heart?
Can I open it any time I want?
And he said, yeah, Mom, you can.
Oh, boy.
So I can't say anything other than just, he's just an absolute delight.
He's really fun.
Well, you know, good for you, because here's, I had a conversation with my son,
and I hadn't seen him in, like, a day, and I'm talking to him on the phone,
and I said, geez, I really miss you.
Did you miss me?
And he said, sort of.
Yeah.
Sort of.
Yeah, sort of.
Sort of, like, I just, just, just...
Well, that's okay, because I also have a 16-month-old, you know, named Atlas.
We could call him Addie.
And Addie has found that his favorite word is dead death.
So all he does is march around the house.
He's a real tank of a kid.
He's so cute.
And he goes, you know, say, Mama, Dada.
And he'll look for Dad.
Yeah.
Mama, Dada.
So, you know, you can't get him to do everything you want.
No.
No, that's right.
That's right.
But the years is, I mean, that's very simple, because sooner or later, Mama
will replace Dada.
I'm hoping.
I mean, we'll see.
I mean, it took my years for me to get my son to stop calling me Jay.
I mean, that.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, it's not an easy life, ladies and gentlemen.
But he got the category right.
Talk to us.
You know, he's getting it.
He's getting it.
Now, we have a clip here of your early work in, oh, it's a soap opera.
If I wasn't humiliated once on this show.
I don't think this, I think this is another world.
And is that still on the air?
It was one of those 40, 50-year deals?
Are you kidding?
I don't know.
After I left, they had to, you know, take it off the air because what was there
to watch?
You know?
Anne was gone.
What role were you?
I play, I can't believe you're bringing this up.
I played two, I played twins.
I played a good twin and an evil twin.
Oh, man.
I've seen you way too many times.
I can't believe we're talking about this again.
But, yes, it's, you know.
Yes, this does kind of ring a bell.
You played evil twins.
What was the name of the good twin?
Oh, my God, Marley.
Marley.
And the bad twin?
Vicky.
Marley and Vicky.
Yeah.
All right, we have a clip.
You know, all the good actresses in Hollywood come off soaps, you know.
That's absolutely true.
Why, why?
Yeah, all right, let's take a look.
And are we going to see Marley or Vicky?
I don't know.
This is a surprise to me.
All right, let's take a look.
Are you pregnant?
Uh, no, not quite, but almost as good.
Oh, well, what?
Come on, the music is playing.
Would you tell me already?
Jake, there was a mix-up with the hospital records.
He doesn't have a fertility problem at all.
It was all a mistake.
He can father a child.
Yes!
Oh, my God!
Thank you.
I mean, honestly, what can I say?
Other than, where is that wig?
Because it looks so good.
But it must have been great fun to do that.
Working with myself.
Well.
How are you?
I'm good.
Do you know your lines?
I do.
No, but I mean, sort of the silliness of it must have been inherent when you
were doing
it.
Absolutely ridiculous.
Yes, yes.
No, I think every actor in Hollywood should at least be on a soap for a year.
You just see it, because you've got to have it.
A lot of people, as you mentioned, have come through that.
And now I think they're no longer.
They're kind of dropping away.
I can't believe you just showed that.
No, it was good.
I think we all learned a little something.
Who's dropping away?
This is the soap operas.
Not the actors from the soap operas.
No, no, no, the soap operas.
I don't know that there are as many.
You know, they had long, 80, 90-year-old soap operas, and now they're going
away.
I know.
I guess they can't show enough soap commercials or something to be able to keep
themselves
out there.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, I got my own troubles.
Well, the always popular Hung can be seen Sunday nights at 10 p.m. on HBO.
And great pleasure to see you again.
Thank you so much.