Name: Adam Sandler Was Attacked By A Cheetah | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-08-16T15:07:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Adam Sandler Was Attacked By A Cheetah | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Adam Sandler Was Attacked By A Cheetah | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-16. Transcript available.

up adam sandler ladies and gentlemen hey paul good to see you love you buddy
that was great
i like you know you look great you i can remember when we first met and you
look the same today as
you did when we first met i'm telling you i've seen i'm um no i mean i i used
to be pretty damn
young i was like uh you were a kid i think we have a picture of you in high
school now i didn't meet
you in high school yes but i think this is a picture from high school and if
there's something
that needs to be discussed you you go ahead and discuss it okay yeah
everybody looked like that in the high school i swear to god i thought i looked
good and my uh
my my father would always tell me you look horrible please please shave your
head and i'd be like what
is this guy talking about yeah i look phenomenal so david this is a true story
the reason it's funny is
because it's a true story come on the uh so so okay so i i that was in the you
know the early 80s and
i see i'm watching mtv a lot and all these guys these cool guys on mtv have the
long straight hair oh yeah
a david lee roth eddie van halen kind of stuff you know rick springfield i kind
of down to the belt
really yeah and they look smooth and i wanted that my hair was very afro-y the
longer it would get the
crazier wan epstein look it would have you know so so so i went to a uh drug
store and i saw uh relaxer
that there's relaxer for your hair and i was yeah i was like seven 17 and you
know i i was like i bought
it and i was like you know the girls will like me with straight hair i just don't
so so i did i got
the relaxer in my hair i put i didn't even read it i was just like i'll put
that in there and my head
just started burning uh-huh and uh i just go all right let me get through it
just burn it's gonna be
worth it and and um so thank you i do that i burn and i swear to god my hair at
the when i got done
with it i it was like crystal gale like it was it was lower lower it was
touching my my backside and it
was very long and straight and i was like thinking i look cool and i went to a
high school basketball
game to show all the chicks like hey check check it out man so i get there and
i go in the bleachers
and all these cute girls are there and i'm like you know doing this so i'm
swinging it around
and um then somebody says what the hell happened to your hair and i was like i
combed it
that's the answer i just combed it how long does something like that last it
did not last long i
swear to god by the end of the game because it was a hot gym it started coming
back up
i was uh when we were talking about you i always remember one time you uh made
kind of an announcement
i felt bad for you that for a time and maybe this is still true that your wife
was under the impression
she was married to ben stiller in the beginning that's how i got her i just
went along with it like
yes she thought i was either that or a beastie boy and i was like yeah you're
the one as long
as you like me how is the family the kids are good the kids the kids are pretty
funny they watch my
movies now they're in the movies they're always in them i let them i've been
letting them watch
themselves in my movies but now i let them watch my full movies and like they
realize like daddy you
know takes it pretty serious so i watch them watch it and i make sure they're
laughing and i'm like
you know they have this ipads and they're just watching my movies and i'm and
every anytime they
laugh i go what was that well you did this i'm like yeah that was good right
and then
but but we downloaded uh other movies and they want they like jim carrey movies
better and they
do and they and they watch his movies and i see them just like huge laughs and
i step in the room and
they see the pain i'm feeling and they're like you know it's good but it's
derivative of buster keaton i
think and i'm like it is it is uh but their favorite movie unfortunately is
night at the museum
and uh like my wife uh they really go bananas for that one and uh and i walk in
and when they're
laughing at that i mean i i i just let them have their fun but they they they
say things like
you are really good in this one daddy and i'm like yeah yeah and i i go
whatever i just go with it i'm going through a similar thing now my son is nine
years old
yeah yeah uh aware that i have a television show oh yeah i don't know how he
found out
his favorite person on tv yeah larry the cable guy oh yeah oh he is funny
though he is funny i love
larry the cable get her done does he say get her done to you yeah he's he's
very fond of larry that's
great man yeah it is good so it's just a whole different life the guy from the
cars movie you
can't you can't you can't be yeah no larry the cable guy does he watch this
show ever has he seen
this yes he's seen the show a couple of times what's he think he's all right uh
he uh well he just oh
look grandpa you know it's a lot of that grandpa
i but yeah yeah yeah
now um
you took the family to africa this is a great trip this is like a life
changing experience went to africa what part of africa south africa i did a
movie what part of
africa is montenegro do you know
yeah that guy a good looking couple yeah um yeah i'm in africa i just got here's
what happened i come
back to new york like a few days ago with my uh wife and kids and i was on a
television show jesse
okay the kid in grown-ups who's my son is on the television show jesse which is
a big show on
disney channel and my kids love it and every kid in the world loves it so i was
i did a episode there
that's that's the beginning of the story so what happens is i get back get back
from africa and
africa's like six hour difference i'm just tired and my wife and the kids go to
a park here in new york
and it's very hot 95 degrees and all that so they're running through the sprinklers
my wife's in a bathing suit the kids are in many suits they're pretending to be
badass new yorkers
and all that you know trying to get a fire hydrant undone i'm like just do the
sprinklers thing so
anyways uh uh i was on african time and i took i said i'm gonna take a little
nap so i fall asleep
on the park bench and then this so i'm sleeping i think about 15 minutes and a
lady i feel the shaking
on my shoulder excuse me excuse me i was like yes were you on jesse i said i
said yeah yeah i think so
and she said my uh
that show is big by the way must be every kid likes jesse so anyways i said
yeah i was i was there and she
she says yeah i'm babysitting that kid over there will you go say hello and i
go i uh can i finish
my nap sure and she goes yes and then she's walking away and i hear a movie
star sleeping on a park bed
that's not right it's not right i tell you let a man sleep it's just not right
thank you david now
were you on the safari when you're in africa i did it all i did it all i uh my
kids said the
giraffes in africa were at like more fun than the ones i bought them for the
backyard and they said
they're cool isn't that the way it always works yeah yeah not as good as the
ones we have at home
uh-huh no i did this i did have an incident and uh and uh i i sent you guys the
the thing this was
uh sent us the thing what are you talking about i sent you a little thing i i
uh uh me i went on
i hung out with some like lions and yeah one you see them from the jeep and no
they let me get out
you go into this one place you hang out with with lions and and uh no tigers
tigers are in asia
by the way i didn't know that but now i know you go someplace they'll let you
swim with the dolphins
but i don't think yeah routinely they'll let a guy out of the jeep to mingle
with the lions i was
on i was on jesse oh so they were like whoa no but all right this is a true
story this has really happened
i went there they were very nice people at this place and they let me in the in
with a cheetah it
was the owner they let you in with a cheetah and and said i can feed the cheetah
water with my hands
so i did it and i and and and then something it went a little bit wrong uh-huh
all right let's take
a look this doesn't sound legal that's me in the hat holy moly
i don't know oh my gosh that was a oh man but they whoa yeah that's that was
the cheetah wow
i guess you were remarkably composed i was as i played it off real good
what happened was the the uh they said you were not supposed to bend down low
with the water that's
why he got them that's right isn't that their responsibility to tell you what
not to do in front
of a cheetah you're supposed to know that getting off the plane my god what
what did that woman say
was it like she was cool she was like she handled it she's seen it uh she that's
her best friend she
said the cheetah so they were friends but she sleeps with that cheetah in her
bed i swear to god
but uh with me i was very nervous and uh and um the the yeah yeah it was fast
no that's the kind of
thing you'd expect from jim carrey i'm surprised they let you in there the only
reason though i swear
to god my my i didn't react that to like my friends who watched it they go man
you were a badass
you played that pretty cool i had a stiff neck at the time so when he jumped on
me i was like oh my neck
and i and i slowly stood up and everyone's like whoa you were cool and i swear
to god when he
jumped on me the thing all i was going to do was let him eat me there was not
there was not one part
of me that was going to fight back i was like all right this is how i'm dying
this is great
not a bad way to go honestly pretty good story yeah steve mcqueen we'll be
right back with adam
sandler everybody there he is ladies and gentlemen adam sandler that was great
quick this um run-ups two
going up through yeah the first one uh was it two years ago the first one made
uh yeah three years
ago 300 million dollars 300 million dollars something like that that's just one
how many movies you made
the 30 35 60 yeah yeah 60. uh and so this is the uh sequel and uh the same cast
yeah yourself yes david
spade yeah yeah yeah help me out here kevin james oh kevin james of course yeah
yes we we we and your
wife oh yeah she always i always we have fun her and the kids are in the movie
yeah no no no your
movie oh salma hayek yeah yeah oh yeah yeah yeah i got you i'm sorry i heard
wife i went yes dear
yes it's basically uh the avengers kind of thing that's why we did part two you
know all these
superhero movies keep doing it you know kevin james to me is the incredible hulk
kind of man you know
he bends down at tie shoes the shirt rips he gets angry uh david spade uh iron
man like man powerful
just refuses to ever get married or like anybody but himself uh sorry david
love you david uh chris
rock chris rock basically thor you know with the blonde hair and all that and
me uh you know like
my father always called me captain idiot so now i don't know i don't know
anything about movies but it
looks to me like you guys go to a place some resort on a lake a beautiful
setting yes and and you just
take over and it's just a horseplay for like three months is that pretty much
what it is and at the
end you got a movie that makes 300 million dollars we yes no it has a plot it
has lines i know that
then at the end everybody gets a maserati i did i did buy uh the guys last time
a maserati each you
know because it was so successful and we had such a great time so and it was
the stupidest
thing i've ever done because all during part two i'm getting looks like
you know if it does well what do i get
so yeah yeah the boys wanted to they they think the fact that their maseratis
are three years old
now that they time to trade time to trade up or trade in whoa what kind of car
do you drive caddy
that's nice i got a bunch of caddies yeah right it's a great ride yes yes uh
the cadillac uh
um i get the fast one actually kevin james bought me one kevin james what is
this people nobody's buying
me a car i know what are you guys doing out there if here have a car that doesn't
happen to me well
it's it's it's what do you want i'll get you you deserve it i appreciate that
we'll get all the
whole grown-ups cast will chip in and get you just bring me in some brochures
and i'll pick something
out the nice thing about uh something like this is that people know the movie
from the first one yes so
now they're ready and excited to see more about what happens to these people in
the second one
and i don't want to mess anything up but it'd probably be even more successful
than first one
let's see i hope so uh what is the number that i get a car honestly mike i have
a gardener and
literally he does my bushes outside and i like hey man and he's like you like
the way they look i'm like
yeah very good he goes maserati good i don't know man so i gotta get him one
but uh honestly yeah i
would love to get you whatever i go american usually but the maserati calls so
much it sounded better
but whatever you want it's entirely up to you i'll get you a vet that's good
that's good right that
would be very nice uh well i'll be there uh midnight thursday for the opening
of grown-ups 2 ladies and
gentlemen adam sandler thanks and all your favorites it was me again adam thank
you very much take care

Adam Sandler Was Attacked By A Cheetah | Letterman

up adam sandler ladies and gentlemen hey paul good to see you love you buddy
that was great
i like you know you look great you i can remember when we first met and you
look the same today as
you did when we first met i'm telling you i've seen i'm um no i mean i i used
to be pretty damn
young i was like uh you were a kid i think we have a picture of you in high
school now i didn't meet
you in high school yes but i think this is a picture from high school and if
there's something
that needs to be discussed you you go ahead and discuss it okay yeah
everybody looked like that in the high school i swear to god i thought i looked
good and my uh
my my father would always tell me you look horrible please please shave your
head and i'd be like what
is this guy talking about yeah i look phenomenal so david this is a true story
the reason it's funny is
because it's a true story come on the uh so so okay so i i that was in the you
know the early 80s and
i see i'm watching mtv a lot and all these guys these cool guys on mtv have the
long straight hair oh yeah
a david lee roth eddie van halen kind of stuff you know rick springfield i kind
of down to the belt
really yeah and they look smooth and i wanted that my hair was very afro-y the
longer it would get the
crazier wan epstein look it would have you know so so so i went to a uh drug
store and i saw uh relaxer
that there's relaxer for your hair and i was yeah i was like seven 17 and you
know i i was like i bought
it and i was like you know the girls will like me with straight hair i just don't
so so i did i got
the relaxer in my hair i put i didn't even read it i was just like i'll put
that in there and my head
just started burning uh-huh and uh i just go all right let me get through it
just burn it's gonna be
worth it and and um so thank you i do that i burn and i swear to god my hair at
the when i got done
with it i it was like crystal gale like it was it was lower lower it was
touching my my backside and it
was very long and straight and i was like thinking i look cool and i went to a
high school basketball
game to show all the chicks like hey check check it out man so i get there and
i go in the bleachers
and all these cute girls are there and i'm like you know doing this so i'm
swinging it around
and um then somebody says what the hell happened to your hair and i was like i
combed it
that's the answer i just combed it how long does something like that last it
did not last long i
swear to god by the end of the game because it was a hot gym it started coming
back up
i was uh when we were talking about you i always remember one time you uh made
kind of an announcement
i felt bad for you that for a time and maybe this is still true that your wife
was under the impression
she was married to ben stiller in the beginning that's how i got her i just
went along with it like
yes she thought i was either that or a beastie boy and i was like yeah you're
the one as long
as you like me how is the family the kids are good the kids the kids are pretty
funny they watch my
movies now they're in the movies they're always in them i let them i've been
letting them watch
themselves in my movies but now i let them watch my full movies and like they
realize like daddy you
know takes it pretty serious so i watch them watch it and i make sure they're
laughing and i'm like
you know they have this ipads and they're just watching my movies and i'm and
every anytime they
laugh i go what was that well you did this i'm like yeah that was good right
and then
but but we downloaded uh other movies and they want they like jim carrey movies
better and they
do and they and they watch his movies and i see them just like huge laughs and
i step in the room and
they see the pain i'm feeling and they're like you know it's good but it's
derivative of buster keaton i
think and i'm like it is it is uh but their favorite movie unfortunately is
night at the museum
and uh like my wife uh they really go bananas for that one and uh and i walk in
and when they're
laughing at that i mean i i i just let them have their fun but they they they
say things like
you are really good in this one daddy and i'm like yeah yeah and i i go
whatever i just go with it i'm going through a similar thing now my son is nine
years old
yeah yeah uh aware that i have a television show oh yeah i don't know how he
found out
his favorite person on tv yeah larry the cable guy oh yeah oh he is funny
though he is funny i love
larry the cable get her done does he say get her done to you yeah he's he's
very fond of larry that's
great man yeah it is good so it's just a whole different life the guy from the
cars movie you
can't you can't you can't be yeah no larry the cable guy does he watch this
show ever has he seen
this yes he's seen the show a couple of times what's he think he's all right uh
he uh well he just oh
look grandpa you know it's a lot of that grandpa
i but yeah yeah yeah
now um
you took the family to africa this is a great trip this is like a life
changing experience went to africa what part of africa south africa i did a
movie what part of
africa is montenegro do you know
yeah that guy a good looking couple yeah um yeah i'm in africa i just got here's
what happened i come
back to new york like a few days ago with my uh wife and kids and i was on a
television show jesse
okay the kid in grown-ups who's my son is on the television show jesse which is
a big show on
disney channel and my kids love it and every kid in the world loves it so i was
i did a episode there
that's that's the beginning of the story so what happens is i get back get back
from africa and
africa's like six hour difference i'm just tired and my wife and the kids go to
a park here in new york
and it's very hot 95 degrees and all that so they're running through the sprinklers
my wife's in a bathing suit the kids are in many suits they're pretending to be
badass new yorkers
and all that you know trying to get a fire hydrant undone i'm like just do the
sprinklers thing so
anyways uh uh i was on african time and i took i said i'm gonna take a little
nap so i fall asleep
on the park bench and then this so i'm sleeping i think about 15 minutes and a
lady i feel the shaking
on my shoulder excuse me excuse me i was like yes were you on jesse i said i
said yeah yeah i think so
and she said my uh
that show is big by the way must be every kid likes jesse so anyways i said
yeah i was i was there and she
she says yeah i'm babysitting that kid over there will you go say hello and i
go i uh can i finish
my nap sure and she goes yes and then she's walking away and i hear a movie
star sleeping on a park bed
that's not right it's not right i tell you let a man sleep it's just not right
thank you david now
were you on the safari when you're in africa i did it all i did it all i uh my
kids said the
giraffes in africa were at like more fun than the ones i bought them for the
backyard and they said
they're cool isn't that the way it always works yeah yeah not as good as the
ones we have at home
uh-huh no i did this i did have an incident and uh and uh i i sent you guys the
the thing this was
uh sent us the thing what are you talking about i sent you a little thing i i
uh uh me i went on
i hung out with some like lions and yeah one you see them from the jeep and no
they let me get out
you go into this one place you hang out with with lions and and uh no tigers
tigers are in asia
by the way i didn't know that but now i know you go someplace they'll let you
swim with the dolphins
but i don't think yeah routinely they'll let a guy out of the jeep to mingle
with the lions i was
on i was on jesse oh so they were like whoa no but all right this is a true
story this has really happened
i went there they were very nice people at this place and they let me in the in
with a cheetah it
was the owner they let you in with a cheetah and and said i can feed the cheetah
water with my hands
so i did it and i and and and then something it went a little bit wrong uh-huh
all right let's take
a look this doesn't sound legal that's me in the hat holy moly
i don't know oh my gosh that was a oh man but they whoa yeah that's that was
the cheetah wow
i guess you were remarkably composed i was as i played it off real good
what happened was the the uh they said you were not supposed to bend down low
with the water that's
why he got them that's right isn't that their responsibility to tell you what
not to do in front
of a cheetah you're supposed to know that getting off the plane my god what
what did that woman say
was it like she was cool she was like she handled it she's seen it uh she that's
her best friend she
said the cheetah so they were friends but she sleeps with that cheetah in her
bed i swear to god
but uh with me i was very nervous and uh and um the the yeah yeah it was fast
no that's the kind of
thing you'd expect from jim carrey i'm surprised they let you in there the only
reason though i swear
to god my my i didn't react that to like my friends who watched it they go man
you were a badass
you played that pretty cool i had a stiff neck at the time so when he jumped on
me i was like oh my neck
and i and i slowly stood up and everyone's like whoa you were cool and i swear
to god when he
jumped on me the thing all i was going to do was let him eat me there was not
there was not one part
of me that was going to fight back i was like all right this is how i'm dying
this is great
not a bad way to go honestly pretty good story yeah steve mcqueen we'll be
right back with adam
sandler everybody there he is ladies and gentlemen adam sandler that was great
quick this um run-ups two
going up through yeah the first one uh was it two years ago the first one made
uh yeah three years
ago 300 million dollars 300 million dollars something like that that's just one
how many movies you made
the 30 35 60 yeah yeah 60. uh and so this is the uh sequel and uh the same cast
yeah yourself yes david
spade yeah yeah yeah help me out here kevin james oh kevin james of course yeah
yes we we we and your
wife oh yeah she always i always we have fun her and the kids are in the movie
yeah no no no your
movie oh salma hayek yeah yeah oh yeah yeah yeah i got you i'm sorry i heard
wife i went yes dear
yes it's basically uh the avengers kind of thing that's why we did part two you
know all these
superhero movies keep doing it you know kevin james to me is the incredible hulk
kind of man you know
he bends down at tie shoes the shirt rips he gets angry uh david spade uh iron
man like man powerful
just refuses to ever get married or like anybody but himself uh sorry david
love you david uh chris
rock chris rock basically thor you know with the blonde hair and all that and
me uh you know like
my father always called me captain idiot so now i don't know i don't know
anything about movies but it
looks to me like you guys go to a place some resort on a lake a beautiful
setting yes and and you just
take over and it's just a horseplay for like three months is that pretty much
what it is and at the
end you got a movie that makes 300 million dollars we yes no it has a plot it
has lines i know that
then at the end everybody gets a maserati i did i did buy uh the guys last time
a maserati each you
know because it was so successful and we had such a great time so and it was
the stupidest
thing i've ever done because all during part two i'm getting looks like
you know if it does well what do i get
so yeah yeah the boys wanted to they they think the fact that their maseratis
are three years old
now that they time to trade time to trade up or trade in whoa what kind of car
do you drive caddy
that's nice i got a bunch of caddies yeah right it's a great ride yes yes uh
the cadillac uh
um i get the fast one actually kevin james bought me one kevin james what is
this people nobody's buying
me a car i know what are you guys doing out there if here have a car that doesn't
happen to me well
it's it's it's what do you want i'll g