Name: Dave Wears The Suit Of Sponges | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-08-24T19:05:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Wears The Suit Of Sponges | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Wears The Suit Of Sponges | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-24. Transcript available.

we uh we have a wonderful show this if you could only see one show this is the
show to see this uh
uh let me explain something uh to you about tonight's program uh a few weeks
ago paul and
myself and a few of the staff members were sitting around late at night after
the program one evening
and you know how when people get together you reminisce about you know old
girlfriends
experiences in college and so on and so forth but we were doing that and the
thought came up as it
often does if you were a human sponge how much water would you absorb and you
know we kicked it around
for a couple of minutes and then we said what the heck let's try it so tonight
for the first time
on american television we have for you the human sponge
thank you very much thank you and no for those of you just tuning in this is
not pbs
uh i just uh i have a very serious uh admonition well not really an admonition
but it's a really
more of a plea for the people in the new york area now wait a minute paul you're
not gonna you're not
gonna upset everybody on human sponge night are you no no i just all i want to
say no i'm thrilled
about human spends now are we going to say anything more about it explain what's
going to happen well
we're we have somebody who will be suited up as a human sponge and immersed
into a tank of water
a certain person is going to put on a sponge suit well me yeah it's gonna be
you yeah you're gonna
now what were you gonna say what i just want i want everybody who's up in the
new york area about
like 12 uh 35 now to stay up through the evening and turn on wapp radio 7 a.m
in the morning as i hit
the airwaves for my swing and that's right paul schaefer has his own radio show
here in the uh
uh tri-state area
do you do what the microphone yeah i can't bend my arm though this is the
microphone i'm talking
thank you very much ladies and gentlemen the magic moment has arrived i'm not
from your planet
uh what we're going to do i like i need to explain to you what uh tonight is
all about uh tonight is
human oh human sponge night and first of course the all-important weigh-in so i
turn around and
will weigh myself is that correct all right this also marks the first time i've
ever appeared on
television without my shoes i'm weighing now 190 pounds that's right okay now i'll
get in the tank
of water and then what do we do we absorb the water and then we'll get another
measurement but the first
figure 190 pounds now let me just say something for those of you at home are
saying to yourselves
what a wimp this guy is i have the strength of 10 men
all right do it step back a little yes i'll be happy to step back a little i'm
i'm being i'm suspended
here i can lean forward a little bit and whoa maybe can we okay just pull me
back now
oh thank you very much uh a lot of our astronauts have been here training all
week um okay paul the
first important figure 190 pounds that's dry i'm i'm in the human sponge suit
are we ready to go
okay here take this or i'll be of course electrocuted here we go
oh that's that's perfect now what do i go i go in head first is that the plan
boy if this gives way it's going to be an ugly story in the post tomorrow
i could be but the suit is so stiff that i can't really bend them kind of a
design flaw in the suit
oh my gosh a grown man just pushed me by the feet well
uh okay and now uh we're ready to go okay now we'll get the uh we're going to
show you how much
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
how do you like your tea paul
you know what i'm not quite done
but it was sort of enjoyable
i mean just a little longer
okay let's go
go
please
oh my god
oh my god
oh what
yeah
hold it
yeah
no i uh
all i do is wash the cars lady
it's not my fault
lost your antenna
500 pounds
over five
do i turn around here
i can't move
all right
the scale is now at
oh jeez
and now what i'd like to do
is some wind sprints
some eight count burpees
and some push-ups
so what does that mean
we got in at 190
and the weight with the water
is 500 pounds
310 pounds
how many gallons is that
25
25 gallons is it
500 pounds
25 gallons
yeah it's way over 500 pounds
it's ladies and gentlemen
it's close to a thousand gallons
there you go
close to a thousand gallons
unbelievable isn't it
okay
whoo wee
all right
we'll figure this out
and we'll be right back
you'll be able to tell
your grandchildren
you saw
the human sponge
thank you very much
uh so it was
it was 25 gallons
eight pounds
to a gallon roughly
and what does that
figure out to be
45
400 pounds
over 400 pounds
of water
and we just heard
from high government
officials
because of the success
of the human sponge
tonight
there will be
no school tomorrow
so
uh my thanks
to jack hannah
from the columbus zoo
also douglas adams
and rich hall
from saturday night live
paul and the band
of course
we will see you monday
with howie mandel
and tommy lasorter
from the los angeles dodgers
and stupid petrics
have a good weekend
good night folks
Thank you.