Name: Dave's Top Ten List For Queen Elizabeth II | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-09-09T17:07:46.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Top Ten List For Queen Elizabeth II | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Top Ten List For Queen Elizabeth II | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-09. Transcript available.

Hi! Welcome back from summertime. I'm Barbara Gaines. This is Mary. This is
Dave.
Hi, Barbara. Hi, Mary. Thank you very much for having me on the show.
It's great to be back. How was your summer?
It was okay.
Mary, and you?
Yeah, same. Okay. A big okay.
I had a very nice summer. Thank you for asking.
And I was worried that because you were out of production for quite a while
that the whole thing would crater.
But it seems to be just fine now that we're back.
Sure. It's running very smoothly.
Yeah. Anybody have any stories?
I'm good.
No, not really.
How about you?
I'm nothing but stories. I had quite a lot of excitement on my summer break.
And yeah, stuff happened and it was fun. Yeah.
It's like you're hiding something.
Well, maybe I am.
Yes, Barbara. So what will we do today?
Today, we have something that we did quite a lot. We have a top 10 list.
Oh, now, people come up to me periodically, and I wish they wouldn't, and ask,
"Why don't you ever do those?"
Because we all got tired of them, and it would take a professional production
team of writers to create those again, to make them funny and interesting.
But I thought, okay, we'll just try it out now. This is not even a dress
rehearsal. This is not even really a rehearsal. This is just something to try
to see what it feels like.
So what's the category of today's top 10 list?
Tonight's category, top 10 things we'll miss about the Queen.
If you don't know this, we received the sad news earlier that Queen Elizabeth
passed away earlier today in Balmoral, her summer home in Scotland.
And if you're looking for places in Scotland, I guess now would be the time to
call Century 21.
So anyway, we have the top 10 list, and she was, you know, she broke her hip.
The people don't know this. A few months ago, and that's what happens.
You get to be a certain age, you break your hip, and then it's difficult to
recover from that.
She was, she played in a senior's rugby league and took a head to the, I don't
know.
But anyway, she's passed on at the age of 99.
Six.
Six.
And she leaves behind Megan and Markey, who will also be Queen and King one day.
So anyway.
Queen and King of California.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, there you go.
So now this is a top 10, what was the category?
Top 10 things we'll miss about the Queen.
Okay, I'll start it off.
And these are just examples.
Of what a real top 10 could be.
Yeah, yeah.
Number 10.
Corgis, corgis, corgis.
Number nine.
Her place on the chessboard.
Oh, number eight.
She'd always go out and she'd always have a smart hat.
Number seven.
Tasty chocolate dipped cones.
Oh no, wait a minute.
That's something I'd miss about Dairy Queen.
I was confused.
Number six.
Sure.
Yeah.
Number six.
Her sunny disposition.
Number five.
Every afternoon, I believe she enjoyed a cocktail or two.
Number four.
I loved Freddie Mercury.
I think you're confused.
Yeah.
Same ones with the tasty cones.
Hmm.
Number three.
Her handbag collection.
Wait, aren't they supposed to be funny?
Yeah, they should be.
But these aren't.
These are just...
This one's funny.
Wait.
Okay, okay.
Very good.
Number two.
Not number two yet.
Yeah, that was number three.
Yeah, I did three.
Oh, okay.
Number two.
Kind of killed my joke.
Number two.
Her work on the hit CBS show, The Equalizer.
That is funny.
Oh, wait.
I'm being told that's Queen Latifah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm being told that's Dairy Queen.
Same joke.
Yeah.
Okay.
And the number one thing we'll miss about the Queen.
Walter.
Hey, Charles, who died and made you king?
Hey!
Thank you.
We'll be right back.
Yeah.
Do we have time?
How do you think that went?
Seemed a little...
Stupid.
Sloppy.
I think this was a great rehearsal.
I think it was not even a great rehearsal.
But I think this answers the question, will there be top ten lists?
I think the answer is an unqualified no.
All right.
Thanks for joining us and goodbye.
Goodbye, everybody.