Name: Jason Sudeikis Has A Bone To Pick With Dave | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-09-14T13:59:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jason Sudeikis Has A Bone To Pick With Dave | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jason Sudeikis Has A Bone To Pick With Dave | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-14. Transcript available.

Our first guest is a very funny man, one of the stars of the Saturday Night
Live program.
Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to Jason Sudeikis, everybody.
Thank you very much for being here.
Thank you for having me.
Thanks to everybody, because I know even the easiest activity is difficult now.
But is it true that you missed the whole event?
Yeah, Sandy. Hurricane Sandy.
Yes, I missed it all. I was out of town.
Yeah, something else.
I was here a couple days after Hurricane Irene.
That's right.
This is odd.
Yeah, you're kind of like our...
Government calls FEMA. Late Show calls me.
Happy. Happy to be in there.
We have better luck with you than the government does with FEMA.
I don't read the news. I don't read the news.
You don't read the news. Now, where were you when you say you were out of town?
I was actually in Europe, or Europa.
What were you doing there?
I was visiting my girlfriend, who was working in Italy, in Rome.
Your girlfriend, by the way, is beautiful.
She was on the show not so long ago.
No, I remember. I actually wanted to bring something up.
Is it Olivia Wilde?
Olivia Wilde. Olivia Wilde.
How did you meet her?
We met at the season finale of Saturday Night Live, not this last year, but the
year before.
You're very lucky.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you know.
Yeah.
No, you're right.
Very much so.
Very romantic.
The two of you are in Europe.
You know when she was on the show here about like a month and a half ago or so,
she brought
me up and you said I was kind of dopey.
You said, like, I think I'm quoting you, like, he's kind of a dope, right?
Yeah, that's probably right.
You're probably right about that.
But, I mean, that's because, I mean, I am then, right?
Is that official?
Why don't you tell us?
Yeah, that's a good point.
I'm more lucky than dope.
I was referring, I guess, to the character portrayed in motion pictures.
I appreciate that.
I feel sometimes like if you want a good stooge in a movie, you want kind of a
dopey, good-looking
guy.
Okay.
I mean, and then the next guy would be Sam Champion.
It would be you and then Sam Champion.
Happy to do it.
That's right.
Wow.
Look at that.
Well, I'll tell you what it was.
I apologize, but I know exactly what this is.
Your girlfriend is so lovely.
Fiance or girlfriend?
Oh, boy.
It's just girlfriend, girlfriend.
So lovely.
Unless she's going to surprise me.
That would be great.
Did she?
No, no.
And me being bitter and envious that somebody like you has done so well for
yourself.
So I attacked you out of insecurity.
That's what I thought it was, but that's why I wanted to talk about it.
I wouldn't take it seriously.
Yeah, no.
Okay.
All right.
So what were you guys doing in Europe?
I don't remember.
I'm dumb.
No.
No.
We were, no, we, uh, we were, we went to Paris.
We, I, I, I met her there and then we went to Paris and, um, and then, uh,
Sandy hit.
She had to go to Los Angeles.
I got stuck in Paris by myself.
I was in a, a much poorly written version of Midnight in Paris, basically, um,
because
it was me and, and I had to come up with the words, not Woody Allen.
And, uh, it was, it was nice.
Did you speak any French?
Nothing.
Nothing.
I, I, but I was there so long that I eventually felt like I had to start saying
pardon and,
you know, merci.
Uh, but, but then, but, but I, but I, I would do it and then immediately back
off it.
Like, I'd be like, merci, you know, I'm sorry.
That shouldn't be like, it's like, I, you know, I'm fine.
Cause then they'd come at you with some French and then I'm just like, ah, no,
no, no, no.
That's right.
Because what they do, you, you make the mistake of trying to speak their
language.
They know better.
They know you don't speak the language and they're insulted that you're trying.
Absolutely.
So they think, oh, you want to play?
Yeah.
And then they go right at you.
It's so true.
They go right at you.
It's so true.
Yeah.
Oh boy.
It's very true.
I, I, I got rope and doped so many times by them.
Yeah.
I tried.
Uh, but then I, so then, so then I was stayed there and then getting home was,
uh.
How did you make arrangements for flights?
Uh, you know, just, uh, my phone was working all the days leading up to the day
that I was
actually set to leave.
I was supposed to leave Monday morning, ended up leaving, uh, gosh, when was it?
Thursday morning.
I was on that flight that landed, the first one that landed from Paris.
I didn't know that, uh, I, I was on that flight.
Wow.
And, uh, I got to the, uh, to the, uh, uh, airport with my internet on my phone
down.
Everybody was asleep, you know, here in the States.
And, you know, the French are about as helpful as the internet being down.
Um, and, um,
so, so, uh, so I'm just going through the rat race of getting through and, you
know,
figuring things out.
I finally get on the play and I'm, uh, uh, uh, and, and because it was, uh, uh,
I went
with, um, a ticket that Olivia had through a production, I got to sit in the
fancy seats,
right?
There you go.
Business class.
So I was all business.
And I, um, yeah, and, and I ended up sitting next to a fella who, um, uh, for
eight hours
that did not, I thought liked me, then didn't like me.
It turned into like a very nuanced, like odd couple relationship.
Uh, quick.
Did the, the man know who you are?
You know what?
He was so mean.
He might have.
That happened to me.
I get that all.
You never know.
Although you do know.
I get it.
I get it all the time.
Yeah.
Well, you and Jay are good.
Look, look.
Right?
No.
Oh, yeah.
You're good now.
Yeah.
Uh, no.
So I was there and he was, he was not, uh, American.
I know that.
Uh, even though he was wearing sweatpants on the plane, they were very fancy
sweatpants.
That's how I knew he wasn't American.
Sweatpants threw me, though, for a second.
Very ornate.
And then he didn't speak French because the, uh, the, the lovely gal that was
helping us
out wasn't helping.
Uh, and, um, and then, yeah, it was just, it was rough.
It was rough.
And he, he had, he drank champagne, cognac.
I think the only water he had was the ice.
And his vodka.
He, he was all over the place.
Uh, I was watching movies.
Uh, I watched When Harry Met Sally, which I hadn't seen forever.
And after a couple glasses of white wine, it's, it's, it's amazing.
Uh, and, uh, at one point I started laughing.
I was laughing.
I was laughing.
And he, like, he, he, like, looked at me and gave me, like, just, like, whoa,
like,
we were laughing.
And I was, like, I was, like, I had to say this sentence.
I was, like, I go to tap him because I had headphones on to say, like,
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Like, I'm sorry for laughing too loud.
Like, what an awful sentence to ever have to say.
And when I went to tap him, he just goes.
Whoa.
And, and, and I go, I go, I'm sorry if my laughing was bothering you.
Sincerely.
Like, you know, like, he goes, what do you do from the Midwest?
You know, you want to make sure your, your good time isn't ruining someone else's.
And, and he, and he goes, you are not alone on this plane.
And I, and then I realized, oh, he's German.
German.
Yeah.
German fella.
There you go.
German fella.
Gotta be.
You gotta make any friends there.
It was, it was all right.
And then he, did you guys ever, ever kind of get over this?
No, no.
I mean, then at the very, then at the very end of the flight, I hadn't, you
know, we just
seated next to each other the whole time.
We, we, we stand up to get up.
Literally came up to my nipples.
Like the top, top of his head was like, like, I was like, well, this little guy,
um, you know.
Now this, this raises more than, uh, several interesting questions.
You're both in business class.
Yes.
We know what business you're in.
Yeah.
What do you suppose his business is?
Gosh, I don't know.
I mean, like, dirty looks.
Yeah.
And he's the best.
No, it was, I don't, I have no idea.
Well, he was listening to, like, I saw on the thing, uh, after I upset him with
my, he was
just, everything he did was very small and very, like, pointed and just, like,
he was
like, like, like Chris Kattan, like a Chris Kattan character from SNL.
Like, I just saw, he was like Mango, except, like, all hate.
Like, it was, it was like bad.
It was, it was, it was.
Maybe he works on the German SNL.
Yeah, well, he's, he's great at it.
Now, speaking of, uh, SNL, uh, do I have this, uh, correct?
Yeah, SNL, yeah, that's where I work, yeah.
No.
Absolutely.
That, uh, the, uh, the last, uh, SNL presidential, uh, edition.
Yes.
Four, four years ago.
Yeah, 2008, sure.
Uh, there, at the, the, the Saturday night before election, didn't you have,
was it John
McCain who came on?
John, John McCain came on and performed with, with Tina Fey.
Right.
Uh, the, who was playing the fake Sarah Palin.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
This is, it was really, really odd, because in between the dress rehearsal that
we do at
eight o'clock and the air show at 1130, we have a meeting in Lauren's office,
uh, and
he gives us suckers and tells us we did a good job.
Mm-hmm.
And, and he, uh, and we're sitting, we're sitting there.
I'm sitting, sitting next to the man running for president.
I'm wearing KU basketball shorts, where, where I'm, you know, Kansas, where I'm
from,
and he, and we, he and I are having a conversation about Arizona basketball, Lute
Olsen, like
that era, uh, you know, where he's from, and I'm like, you're, like, I'm like,
he knows
he's gonna lose.
Like, why, I'm, I mean, you know, 20-20 hindsight, but I'm like, he must know
if he's here on a
Saturday doing skits.
Like, with, with, with, with a lady that, like, just cold cocked his running
mate, like,
for, for six weeks straight, I, it was so odd to me.
Now, let me, let me, let me ask you.
And he could not have been nicer, and great, and like, just super, you know.
Do you, do you think that, uh, let's just say, insiders or pollsters or pundits
or whatever
you call it, do you think they now know who will win the election?
Do you think they knew a month ago who will win the election?
Well, I'm not, I'm not an expert.
I am not Cornel West, uh, Dr. Cornel West, but, um, if anybody's concerned
about that.
Yeah, no.
Um, but I, I, um, I would say if they, if they being the big they, the, the,
the, the,
the 10% that run the world know how much money Frank and Weenie is going to
make on, uh, opening
weekend, they probably have a good idea who's going to be the president of the
United States,
right?
How did, how did Frank and Weenie do, by the way?
Not well, not well.
Is that right?
No, it under, it underperformed.
We don't know what happened.
We don't know what happened.
Now, there's, it was black and white.
There's a, uh, who's going to be on, who's going to be on your show this
weekend?
We got, uh, Louis C.K.
Louis C.K., yeah.
Louis C.K., yeah.
And then, uh, and then our, uh, and then our musical guest is Fun, which is the
name of the
band, not, not, I mean, I'm sure they're, they're fun too, but.
Uh, but, and any sense that maybe you'll have a late minute drop by?
When, when, when Lorne Michaels is your boss, things happen that you can't
believe it, you
know, uh, so.
Is there a little buzz in the building now?
Well.
Whatever happened to Little Buzz?
Was he there, Paul, when you were there?
When I was there.
Little Buzz, yeah.
Little Buzz.
He's still showing me now.
He's wearing shoes and stuff.
Well, he's all buzzed now.
Saggy buzz.
Yeah.
Well, uh, people will be looking forward to this.
Yeah, I would imagine, you know, with Lincoln coming out, we could be getting
Uncle Abe,
you know, uh, Honest Abe.
Abraham Lincoln.
Excellent, excellent booking.
Not bad, right?
Yeah, not bad at all.
Nice to see you.
Nice to see you, too.
My best to your girlfriend.
Good luck there, buddy.
Yeah, well, thank you.
Thank you.