Name: Viewer Mail: Can You Bleed To Death From A Paper Cut? | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-10-20T14:57:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Viewer Mail: Can You Bleed To Death From A Paper Cut? | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Viewer Mail: Can You Bleed To Death From A Paper Cut? | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-20. Transcript available.

here it is actual letters from actual viewers let's begin tonight ladies and
gentlemen letter
number one dear dave i am writing you in hopes that you will use my suggestions
one quit two
let paul host the show three crawl in a hole and die respectfully yours stephanie
nauman elmwood
illinois oh my gosh thank you very much stephanie what a say what a lovely
letter this is hey and
you know folks now you too can receive mail like this thanks to a delightful
new book entitled
prozac pen pals there you go thousands of listings coast to coast and around
the world
letter number two you know what's fun to do if you're at home watching the show
count along with
me as i count out the letters okay letter number two letter number two no no paul
at home if you're
watching oh i see not here in the studio letter number two
dear dave boo did i scare you just asking natalie chambers davenport iowa this
is very amusing no
of course you didn't scare me you i mean writing boo in a letter never really
scared anyone right paul i
mean that would never paul that would never scare anybody would it hey paul
paul it's just
settle down it's just a uh it's a viewer mail letter that's all it is i'm sorry
i got a little jumpy
yeah i guess you're jumping goodness what a ninny uh letter number three
at home people uh oh dear dave boy are you goofy looking just some constructive
criticism brian de
marco damn damn i knew it i knew i was goofy looking i'm goofy looking aren't i
isn't it hey
give me the mirror there you're not you're not goofy looking here's a mirror oh
good how did you know i
wanted that mirror oh thanks for bringing the mirror biff oh yeah you're right
oh no geez i'm actually
pretty yeah that's great thank god i'm not goofy looking am i biff no dave you're
not goofy looking
but you are awfully stupid
oh okay yeah but boy i you know i i was just thinking maybe if i had a mirror
and boom there
was different right there with the mirror amazing letter number four dear dave
has anyone ever bled
to death from a paper cut i must know uh sincerely t flanagan metuchin new
jersey uh it's an excellent
question uh t so we put together a little experiment uh backstage let me go
check on this we got a guy
who actually cut himself with a sheet of a writing paper and he's bleeding now
let's just go see if
he's bleeding to death well let's just take a second we'll come back here and
find out how how it's
going hi there hi how's it going larry are you all right fine just fine i'm a
little bored yeah right
you say you're a little bored a little boy well the audience feels the same way
uh so are are you
bleeding to death not me i'm in the top physical condition of my life except of
course for the
mouth uh so uh thank you very much for helping us out with this experiment and
uh we'll get you a
sponge to clean up okay don't mention it elvis yeah and i'm telling you you
know you're hot when stuff
like that happens he says don't mention it elvis here's the card
don't mention it regis yeah don't mention it but you know in his defense i
think exit might have
confused him i think he saw that as a day elvis well he's lost you know he's
lost a lot of blood
he's a little woozy
man the place the place is hopping with surprise entertainment tonight
uh let us now do a commercial when we come back our friend david steinberg will
be here kids