Name: Fun With Rupert: Halloween Trick Or Treating | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-10-26T15:00:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fun With Rupert: Halloween Trick Or Treating | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fun With Rupert: Halloween Trick Or Treating | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-26. Transcript available.

Whenever we have a nice holiday like this, I like to spend some time with a
good friend of ours, Rupert G.
Where is Rupert? Is Rupert with us tonight? Come on.
Hey, Rupert, you ran out of here as a marathon runner.
How you doing?
Did you run in the marathon yesterday?
No, I didn't.
You ran out here, though, like the winner. You ran right out here. You sprinted
right out, you know?
Thank you.
Did you see that guy? That guy was in shape, wasn't he?
Yeah, he was incredible.
Yeah, he's quick. Very quick. 208.12.
Wow.
Yeah, wow. That's all you can say.
Now, Rupert and I, for how long has it been? Three years, whatever it is?
About three and a half.
Three and a half years. Rupert and I go out, and Rupert puts on this disguise
here.
He's got his glasses, got his hat there.
There's a camera somewhere on it.
There's a camera.
And there's an earpiece, and then I sit in the van and I talk to him with a
walkie-talkie.
And we've done that a lot, and it's usually a lot of fun.
You enjoy it, don't you?
Yeah, I get a kick out of it.
So on Friday, since it was Halloween, we said, what the heck?
Rupert and I should go trick-or-treating.
That's exactly what we did.
Here, take a look at the videotape.
Hi, trick-or-treat.
Hi, trick-or-treat.
Hi.
Hi.
Trick-or-treat.
Trick-or-treat.
What do you have there, candy?
What do you have there, candy?
Yeah.
I'm kind of allergic there.
I'm kind of allergic there.
Do you have anything with, do you have any whole grain snacks?
You have any whole grain snacks?
Yeah, low sugar, whole grain snacks.
Yeah, low sugar, whole grain snacks.
I'm kind of watching my cavities.
I'm kind of watching my cavities.
And I'm having some digestive problems.
And I'm having some digestive problems.
Yeah, sugar just plays hell with me.
You know, sugar just plays hell with me.
So if you have any whole grain, kind of healthy snacks.
Just kind of healthy snacks.
I'd really appreciate those.
I'd really appreciate it.
Toast.
Do you have any like...
Toast.
Do you have any...
Wheat toast?
Wheat toast.
Hi.
How are you?
How are you?
Happy Halloween.
Happy Halloween.
Trick or treat.
Trick or treat.
I'm a security guard.
I'm a security guard.
What do you think?
What do you think?
I made it myself.
Yeah, I made it myself.
Is the badge...
Let me ask you a question.
Trick or treating so early.
Is the badge too big?
I'd like to get it out of the way so I can have a drink.
I'd like to get it out of the way so I can have a drink.
Hi, howdy.
Hi and howdy.
Hi and howdy.
Trick or treat.
Trick or treat.
I'm Sheriff Bob.
I'm Sheriff Bob.
Hi and howdy.
Hi and howdy.
I hope you're having a rootin' tootin' great Halloween.
I hope you're having a rootin' tootin' great Halloween.
I'll be out bustin' Bronx and shootin' doggies.
Because later on I'm going to be bustin' Bronx and shootin' doggies.
Dogies.
Dogies.
Hi, happy Halloween.
Hi, happy Halloween.
I'm Sheriff Bob.
I'm Sheriff Bob.
Wild West Sheriff Bob.
Yeah, Wild West Sheriff Bob.
I fell and slipped in the tub and hit my head.
I fell and slipped in the tub and hit my head.
And now I'm the sheriff.
And now I'm the sheriff.
By the way.
By the way.
By the way.
Guess what I'm dressed as.
Guess what I'm dressed as.
Marshall?
Marshall?
No.
Try it again.
Try it again.
No, not a sheriff.
Not a sheriff.
Uh, then I don't know.
I'm a pirate.
I'm a pirate.
Yes.
What do you think?
What do you think?
Yeah.
That's good.
Bring on the snacks.
So bring on the snacks.
Here we go.
Here we go.
I'll just do some deep knee bends while I wait.
I'll just do some deep knee bends while I wait.
Here we go.
I'm Sheriff Bob.
I'm Sheriff Bob.
Yippee-yi-yay.
Yippee-yi-yay.
Hi, ma'am.
Hi.
Happy Halloween.
Happy Halloween.
Trick or treat.
Trick or treat.
Call up the dog.
Call up the dog.
Oh, my God.
What is that?
A pickle?
What is that?
A pickle?
Oh, my God.
Is that a wolf?
Oh, my God.
Is that a wolf?
Run off the porch.
He's got rabies.
He's got rabies.
Get that piece away from me.
It's an insane pickle.
It's an insane pickle, it's my ass.
Run for your life.
Run for your life.
Run for your life.
You're dressed here as a sheriff, right?
A marshal.
Yeah, a marshal.
But we have other costumes we'll be seeing later.
I forgot to mention that.
But this was your sheriff's outfit.
Okay.
It's a lot of fun.
It was Halloween on Friday.
And this time, what is Rupert dressed as this time?
Anybody know?
Any thoughts?
Dressed as Superman.
Here we go.
More trick-or-treating fun with Rupert G.
Hi.
Happy Halloween.
Happy Halloween.
Trick-or-treat.
Thank you.
Trick-or-treat.
Excuse me.
Excuse me, sir.
Do you have any cigarettes?
Do you have any cigarettes?
Yes.
No.
No?
Like camels, luckies?
Like camels, luckies.
Menthol.
Anything menthol?
Anything menthol?
Salem's?
Salem's.
Why would you ask me for cigarettes?
I just need a smoke.
I just need a smoke.
Hi.
Hi.
How are you?
How are you?
Can I use your bathroom?
Can I use your bathroom?
I just need to freshen up.
I just need to freshen up.
Do you mind?
Do you mind?
Freshen up?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And also, I'm going to need a pocket comb.
And also, I'm going to need a pocket comb.
Do you have a pocket comb?
Do you have a pocket comb?
A pocket comb?
Yeah.
Okay.
But more importantly, let's...
Okay, but more importantly...
Can we make this bathroom thing happen?
Could we make this bathroom thing happen?
Do you mind?
Do you mind?
No problem.
Okay, great.
Yeah, no problem?
Go on in.
Okay.
Okay, thanks.
Okay, thanks.
Huh?
Are you in the bathroom?
Yeah, it's a pretty big bathroom.
Yeah.
What are they doing in there?
I don't know.
This is very unusual.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Hi, trick-or-treat.
Hi, trick-or-treat.
Happy Halloween.
Happy Halloween.
Can you guess who I am?
Can you guess who I am?
That's right, I'm Superman.
That's right, I'm Superman.
Get ready.
Watch me fly.
Get ready.
Watch me fly.
Take a look at this.
Count to three, son.
Count to three, son.
One.
One.
Two.
Two.
Here we go.
Race around the yard.
Yeah.
Big circle.
Big circle.
Big circle.
Yeah, those are stage directions, Rupert.
I'm sorry.
Here we go.
Here we go.
What do you think, kids?
Look, I'm Superman.
What do you think, kids?
Look, I'm Superman.
There we go.
Oh, one more thing before I go.
Oh, before I go.
Could I have a beer?
Could I have a beer?
Do you have any beer?
Do you have any beer?
We don't have any beer.
We're non-drinkers.
Oh, you're non-drinkers?
No wine?
No wine?
No, nothing.
No cognate?
No cognate?
No.
No brandy?
No.
No?
No.
Do you have any sleeping medication?
Do you have any sleeping medication?
Happy Halloween.
Happy Halloween.
Happy Halloween.
Happy Halloween.
Happy Halloween to you.
Happy trick or treat.
Happy trick or treat.
Happy trick or treat.
Happy trick or treat to you.
Happy Goblin Day.
Happy Goblin Day.
Happy Goblin Day.
Happy Goblin Day to you.
Happy Ghosty Day.
Happy Ghosty Day.
Happy Ghosty Day to you.
Happy pumpkin day.
Happy pumpkin day.
Happy pumpkin day to you.
Thanks for treating with our good friend Rupert.
Very nice.