Name: Viewer Mail: Chris Elliott's "Miami Vice" Cameo | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-11-03T21:09:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Viewer Mail: Chris Elliott's "Miami Vice" Cameo | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Viewer Mail: Chris Elliott's "Miami Vice" Cameo | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-03. Transcript available.

It's Thursday kids tonight is the night we turn to the task of answering our
voluminous viewer mail
which has been accumulating now for the last seven days let's get right to it
shall we we'll
begin tonight with letter number one. Dear Dave I've received four speeding
tickets racing home
to see your program after work can you or Paul help? Sincerely Darren Swain Enumclaw
Washington
Darren do do I look like a guy who knows anything about the speeding tickets?
That's that's how it works you send in the letter we'll answer it and then make
a huge mess but we
have interns to clean this up. Here on the all-new late night 87.
Dear Dave who are those three or four stupid morons that laugh at everything
you say even when no one
else laughs concerned Jim Flynn Chinango Bridge New York. Oh Jim you're
referring to our studio
audience I guess and Hal turn up the lights and let's get a shot of tonight's
audience I don't
think that they're that stupid you'll see them up there there they are.
Unfortunately tonight they they don't seem to be that lively do they Paul. Strangely
enough no.
Letter number three we're by the way we're the only network television program
that answers its viewer mail
unless you count 60 minutes I guess they do too but I'm pretty sure they got
that from us.
In fact Moralee Safer used to work here as an intern. That's a true story. That's
a true story.
What was that? I'm being I'm being rushed aren't I from the control room.
Letter number three. Dear Dave what would you do if one of your wisecracks
caused a guest to walk
out on you in disgust? A fan Nick Wyard Ontario Canada. Well Nick it's a good
question and frankly
I I've been lucky you know I I don't think a guest has ever walked out uh
because of something I said.
There there was one time though when a little wisecrack really kind of got me
into trouble.
It was years ago. Paul and I were in the Navy. We were going to see the world.
Ah I just think Dave three days shore leave starting tomorrow but we've got to
pass inspection.
Oh yeah boy there's nothing I love better than inhaling government issue
cleaning solvent.
Now watch it Dave you better stow the wisecracks. The commander is a strictly
by the books guy.
I don't want your gags getting us into any more trouble. You remember what
happened in Singapore.
Thank you very much.
Hi Paul. Hi Dave. What are you doing here?
Well look I'm sorry I hope I'm not interrupting anything. I just happen to be
in the neighborhood.
What are you doing a little uh skit here? No it's a it's a viewer mail flashback.
Oh yeah we're in the Navy. Oh I see. Well it's very funny. It's going great.
Look I just stopped by to remind everyone. I'm not sure everyone knows this or
not.
I'm doing a little something on Miami Vice uh tomorrow night. Actually I'm
guest starring
on Miami Vice and well I brought a clip. Is that okay? Uh can I take a look at
it?
How how can we show a clip in a flashback or not?
Yeah I'll try. I'm not sure Dave but we can try it.
Okay well go ahead and set it up Chris.
You know I don't know what the hell it is. They kind of just threw me out here.
I'm sure it's
self-explanatory. I I play a decoder for the FBI. Why don't we take a look at
it? You'll see.
Okay here's Chris Elliott on Miami Vice.
Look ladies what you've got is somebody handling more and more bets every week.
Way over a million dollars already. That's a big turkey.
Does he specialize in boxing? Yeah. Yeah it had to be that or tennis. You know
one-on-one kind of stuff.
See what he does is he builds up these fighters drives the odds up two to one
three to one five
to one against them and then bam they get knocked on their dust by someone you
never heard of over
and over again. Simple. Thank you. Thank you all very much. Well that's it Dave.
Uh I guess I better
be going. I know you have a big show. You've got Richard Dominick and those
newspaper clippings and
that's going to be great. So good night everybody and remember tomorrow night
at nine o'clock
eastern eight o'clock central over most of these nbc stations. Thanks again.
I'm moosing it.
Letter number four. Dear Dave, recently our senior class presented a homecoming
skit entitled late
night at Pella High School. It was an exact duplicate of your show and the
crowd loved us. However,
we finished last out of four skits. How do you explain this sincerely, Kevin
Den Adele?
Uh, well, Kevin, as far as I can tell, there's really only one explanation. You're
a loser.
You're a loser, Kevin! Right, Paul? Loser! Loser! Loser! Loser! Loser!
Loser! Loser! Letter number five. Huh? That was that one. That was that one.
That was letter
number four. Next then. On to letter number five. Okay. Uh, dear Dave, would
you please ask Paul
Shafer to straighten up? He's really getting on my nerves. Thanks Burt Malloy.
Burt Malloy,
Chicago, Illinois. Kind of rhymes, doesn't it? Burt Malloy, Chicago, Illinois?
Yeah, I don't care. Yeah.
Uh, Burt, if you're referring to, uh, Paul's posture, there's a very good
reason why he slouches a
little. You see, a few months ago, I was having problems with my car and Paul
was over there.
Uh, try another one of these. I'm gonna take a look, Paul. Okay. Denitra Vance
has got another job.
How's the luck under there? Oh, you know, I think I was right. The transmission
is shot. Yeah? Uh,
Can you hand me a wrench? An adjustable one? Yeah. Okay.
Oh! Oh, my! Oh! Oh, no! My spine! Oh, everything's going in!
I must lift car up. Dave counting on me. Oh, that's it. Oh, that's it. Oh. Oh,
thank you, Paul.
Oh, boy. Oh, Paul. I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to thank you for
that.
Well, I may never have good posture again, but I think saving your life was a
little more important.
Yeah. Yeah. I gotta get some tea.
Well, Paul, you know. You know, Paul, I, uh,
I, uh, I still, I still can't get over how you were able to lift that car off
of me.
Well, it was just one of those nutty kind of surge of adrenaline things, and
besides the
prop car, I'd only weighed about 30 pounds anyway. Oh, I see. Okay.
Uh, we got a great show for you folks tonight, although I know it would be
tough to prove at this point.