Name: Staff Favorite Moments: Art Director Christopher Goumas | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-11-15T16:14:56.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Favorite Moments: Art Director Christopher Goumas | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Favorite Moments: Art Director Christopher Goumas | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-15. Transcript available.

Hi, my name is Christopher Gumas, and I was an art director on the show from
1995 to early 2003.
One of the things that I really loved about working on the show is that we
would do these
bits that had no real purpose. It was just an expenditure and some energy that
would take
something and make it even dumber or funnier. Who knows? But one of these
things was called
the quiz machine. So we had this machine that was a pneumatic machine with
three buttons on it,
and Dave would do this, press a button, the thing would flap down, make this
noise, another one do,
and then you'd pull this lever and the thing would sort of slam shut. Bill
Gates came on,
he was wearing a hard hat and a lab coat. He ended up breaking it. We'd smash
things in the doors.
I think Dave liked it. I'm not really sure, but we found out that everybody on
the staff hated it,
and most of America hated it. It always broke down. It was never reliable, and
I think that eventually
enough of America hated it that we took it out, dragged it onto 53rd Street,
and smashed it up
with a cap. Uh, dear Dave, I've been a faithful nightly viewer of your show
since 1982, but you're
catching, uh, you are changing that, it says here. Every Monday night when you
wheel out the quiz
machine, I turn the TV off. It's so bad. Uh, please, Dave, do us all a favor
and push it off the roof.
Uh, Kim Stacey, Oshawa, Ontario, Canada. This is, uh, well, you know...
Doing the old, doing the old floating card trick. I see that. I'm levitating a
card here.
I can see what's behind it. I learned that from David Copperfield.
Uh-huh. Uh, let's see. Well, Kim, as you know, uh, we have already, relax, and
thanks for the
criticism, we have already replaced, uh, the quiz machine. Here now is what the
quiz machine looked
like. This is the old quiz machine there. We have replaced that now, that's
gone, with the brand new
Flagstar 3000. There, look at that. You know, but the truth, I want to, hey,
hey, hey, I want to tell you
something about the quiz machine. It served us more or less faithfully for many,
many months,
and provided with endless hours of entertainment. So, no, no, we're not going
to just drop it off the
roof. No, no, no, that ain't going to happen. Instead, instead, what we're
going to do tonight
on 53rd Street, we're going to have it run down by a speeding New York City cab.
Here we go.
Turn on the camera. There it is. And... Here comes the cab.
Yeah, okay. That's it.
Another thing that I remember is, uh, I think it was the second time that the
show came out to Los
Angeles. We did this remote called Fun in the Car. The prop person out here got
this big, giant red
convertible, almost like Hunter Thompson's big red shark. And we took it around
all of Los Angeles
and did all these kinds of silly things. We bolted some groceries to the back
and he drove through the
farmer's market. We smashed things at an oil place underneath his tires. They
wanted to make a
taco mobile out of it. So, one of my jobs was to go and pick up 400 tacos,
which I
did, but unfortunately the tacos weren't ready. And I, being very new on the
show, was filled
with anxiety and trying to get to the shoot in time, was speeding. I got pulled
over on
La Cienica and had to explain why I was speeding and why I had 400 tacos in my
backseat.
I had like 1,200 tacos. We're going to turn the car into a taco mobile.
Okay, here's all you need for the simple installation for this wonderful
surprise. A length of 5/8 inch
tubing, some good strong tape, a brand new replacement dipstick, sealed and
shrink wrap, sanitary, that's
important. And last but not least, and this is where the fun comes in, a
container of chocolate syrup.
Let me just check that oil for you.
Let's see. Oh no, looks like we got plenty of oil. Look at that. Does that look
about right to you?
That oil look okay?
Yeah, that's right out of the engine. It's still kind of hot.
Not bad. You want to do this?
Attention citizens of Los Angeles, we have tacos.
I was looking for the 210 and then the orange. Can't find the orange freeway.
So then I thought well what the hell, I go to Ventura.
Don't you think it's kind of odd that I'm licking engine oil off the dipstick?
Yeah, a little bit. That don't bother you?
Not really. Doesn't bother you?
No.
Would you care for a free taco?
Everybody off the bus. There we go. It's tacos for everyone.
Have you ever seen a guy drink motor oil?
Mmm. It's one of those candid camera things. Look, come here. Come here. Here
we go.
I'm Alan Funt Jr. Hey, wave to the truck. Hey, just wave. See? There you go.
You want some of this?
Help yourself to the complimentary tacos. I've filled my car with tacos and I've
gone nuts.
Another thing that we did very frequently was to utilize 53rd Street.
One thing that started on the early show was throwing stuff off a five-story
tower, which we then took on to the new show by just throwing stuff off a roof.
And one of the things that we always had to do was get two of everything.
So if we were going to throw pinball machines, we'd have to get two of them,
one for rehearsal, one for the show.
All the prop guys would have to take it all the way up to the top and then load
it through this little, like, two-by-two trap door.
The climax of the thing was throwing as many fruits and vegetables, mostly
fruits, melons, that we could throw off the roof to sort of indicate fireworks.
And for that brief time, especially in the summer, it took this stench of urine
and garbage away from the streets and everything smelled like a wonderful margarita.
So one of the things that was, I think, also unique about the show is that
everybody on the staff and crew were always sort of in the bits.
They acted on the show, which I always enjoyed, and we had sort of people who
were, you know, quite capable of acting.
But I always appreciated when they used the crew and things.
You know, we had Pat and Kenny doing things.
Two of my favorite things Harold Larkin did.
One was he gave this impassioned speech on Labor Day about the merits of labor
and the commitment of the labor community to making the country great again.
I saw kind of a disturbing Labor Day Labor Department statistic today.
Really?
Yeah.
For the first time in six years, the productivity rate of American workers
dropped drastically.
Ah.
Here now to say a few words about this trend, Late Show head carpenter Harold Larkin.
Harold?
Thank you, Dave.
As a hardworking American and a proud union member, I really don't care what
some government statistics says about me and my fellow laborers.
Can a statistic describe the blood, sweat, and tears, the care and precision
that my co-workers and I put into everything we do?
Can a statistic tell you about the simple feeling of pride that swells up
inside your heart at the end of an honest day's work?
Can a statistic capture-
Quentin time, Dave.
I'm out of here.
Harold Larkin, that is gonna-
And then the other is, I think it was also involving Harold, where Harold
opened the door and then we had a green screen behind there and some kind of glowy
thing and it just ripped his pants off.
Again, for no reason, which I love those kinds of things in the show.
It's right sort of in my lane of comedy is the sillier and the dumber, the
better.
Listen to this.
The astronomers have announced the discovery of a massive black hole at the
center of the Milky Way galaxy.
Oh.
Isn't that amazing?
Yeah.
And I think we all know what that means.
What?
I don't know.
But you can apparently see it now with the naked eye.
Did you realize that?
Yeah, I didn't know that.
The Milky Way, if you go out at night, you can see the Milky Way.
You can just look up and see it, yeah.
Harold Larkin, our head carpenter.
Harold, do me a favor.
Open the door.
Let's see if we can get a look at the black hole, all right?
Oh, my God.
There it is.
There it is, Dave.
Yeah, I see it.
You can see that.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, I could have saw it.
The black hole pulled my pants off, Dave.
I saw that.
That's exactly what happened.
Pants were sucked into the black hole.
So another thing that happened on the show over a long period of time, we would
either build or acquire these apparatus to shoot things or fling things.
I remember I started on this show.
They had this donut-a-pult that they were fling donuts into the audience.
And the idea is that it would keep, you know, one-upping and one-upping and one-upping.
It got better and better and better.
And then somebody wanted to shoot donuts down 53rd Street.
So we built this giant apparatus.
I think we spent some dough on it.
And it worked horribly.
And it was one of the many things.
And there's a certain kind of charm to it when things don't work.
Although, when you're in the moment, it doesn't necessarily feel charming.
The donuts, the force of this thing...
I enjoy that.
...shatters the donuts.
So tonight, we'll be launching melons.
Ah!
Ah!
Very much.
It was unbelievable.
It went about 20 feet, ladies and gentlemen.
Wow!
We also used to shoot pumpkins down the street.
Not a lot of oversight.
We just sort of would say, Dave would say, shoot it.
We'd shoot it.
And one of the pumpkins actually hit a light post at the base and put a dent in
it by about six inches.
And then I think the next time, the idea was that we're going to shoot pumpkins
from the New York side of the Hudson all the way over to New Jersey.
It's required.
Satellite trucks required.
Light rigs.
We ended up renting a barge and putting sort of a demarcation zone between New
York and New Jersey.
I believe they shut down the Hudson in terms of water traffic and they
restricted the airspace to make sure that this worked.
And I get a call from the control room and they said, you've got to go and do
something.
We can't see the pumpkins.
So they had forgotten to realize that it gets dark really early every year on
Halloween.
And we tried painting the pumpkins.
We tried covering them in light sticks.
We tried lighting them on fire and nothing worked.
In the middle of it, when Dave said, shoot the pumpkin, you saw the pumpkin for
about one tenth of a second, even in slow motion.
But even more horrifying and kind of hilarious is that the people who were on
the barge knew that pumpkins were being launched, but they couldn't see them
coming.
So they were cowering behind the sort of wheelhouse and hoping that they didn't
get beamed by some of these giant eight-pound pumpkins shooting over towards
New Jersey.
It was one of those things that it was almost funnier that it didn't go well.
And the delightful thing is that Dave seemed to enjoy that it didn't go well.
So I guess it worked out.
During the commercial, our executive producer, Rob Burnett, approached the desk.
He asked permission, of course.
And he said this to me.
He said this.
He looked me right in the eyes and he said, we're screwed on these pumpkins.
And I said, what's the matter?
And he says, you're not going to be able to see anything.
Right.
You know that glow-in-the-dark tape?
Doesn't work.
No, no.
I'm sorry.
Go ahead, pick up the remote control.
Do whatever you have to do.
How much did we spend on getting the cannon out here?
Really?
Yeah.
$41,000.
Okay, Max, any time, boy.
Take it away.
Here we go.
Okay, I'm going to put a little more pressure in here, Dave.
Good idea.
How many PSI do I have now?
All right.
We've got just enough to reach New Jersey.
All right.
Here we go.
Are you ready?
I'm ready.
Okay.
Wow.
Pretty good.
Okay.
Let's take a look at it now in slow motion, instant replay.
Here we go.
The Pumpkin.
Oh, pretty good.
Okay, let's take a look at it now in slow motion instant replay.
Here we go, the pumpkin.
There, there you, oh!
Well, that, yeah, okay, stop it.
That glow-in-the-dark tape really does the trick.
It's so bright, it's hard to look at.
Don't look directly at the pumpkin.
I don't know if you ever knew this, but when we couldn't get a car,
so we'd just go to Hertz and rent it, and we would break the windows.
We would just take it back.
And then eventually, I think Hertz said, we're not giving you any more cars.
Remember, there was also the time where Paul almost got his face blown up
by a peanut butter.
Hey, man, that isn't cool.
You know, it was like one of those things.

Staff Favorite Moments: Art Director Christopher Goumas | Letterman

Hi, my name is Christopher Gumas, and I was an art director on the show from
1995 to early 2003.
One of the things that I really loved about working on the show is that we
would do these
bits that had no real purpose. It was just an expenditure and some energy that
would take
something and make it even dumber or funnier. Who knows? But one of these
things was called
the quiz machine. So we had this machine that was a pneumatic machine with
three buttons on it,
and Dave would do this, press a button, the thing would flap down, make this
noise, another one do,
and then you'd pull this lever and the thing would sort of slam shut. Bill
Gates came on,
he was wearing a hard hat and a lab coat. He ended up breaking it. We'd smash
things in the doors.
I think Dave liked it. I'm not really sure, but we found out that everybody on
the staff hated it,
and most of America hated it. It always broke down. It was never reliable, and
I think that eventually
enough of America hated it that we took it out, dragged it onto 53rd Street,
and smashed it up
with a cap. Uh, dear Dave, I've been a faithful nightly viewer of your show
since 1982, but you're
catching, uh, you are changing that, it says here. Every Monday night when you
wheel out the quiz
machine, I turn the TV off. It's so bad. Uh, please, Dave, do us all a favor
and push it off the roof.
Uh, Kim Stacey, Oshawa, Ontario, Canada. This is, uh, well, you know...
Doing the old, doing the old floating card trick. I see that. I'm levitating a
card here.
I can see what's behind it. I learned that from David Copperfield.
Uh-huh. Uh, let's see. Well, Kim, as you know, uh, we have already, relax, and
thanks for the
criticism, we have already replaced, uh, the quiz machine. Here now is what the
quiz machine looked
like. This is the old quiz machine there. We have replaced that now, that's
gone, with the brand new
Flagstar 3000. There, look at that. You know, but the truth, I want to, hey,
hey, hey, I want to tell you
something about the quiz machine. It served us more or less faithfully for many,
many months,
and provided with endless hours of entertainment. So, no, no, we're not going
to just drop it off the
roof. No, no, no, that ain't going to happen. Instead, instead, what we're
going to do tonight
on 53rd Street, we're going to have it run down by a speeding New York City cab.
Here we go.
Turn on the camera. There it is. And... Here comes the cab.
Yeah, okay. That's it.
Another thing that I remember is, uh, I think it was the second time that the
show came out to Los
Angeles. We did this remote called Fun in the Car. The prop person out here got
this big, giant red
convertible, almost like Hunter Thompson's big red shark. And we took it around
all of Los Angeles
and did all these kinds of silly things. We bolted some groceries to the back
and he drove through the
farmer's market. We smashed things at an oil place underneath his tires. They
wanted to make a
taco mobile out of it. So, one of my jobs was to go and pick up 400 tacos,
which I
did, but unfortunately the tacos weren't ready. And I, being very new on the
show, was filled
with anxiety and trying to get to the shoot in time, was speeding. I got pulled
over on
La Cienica and had to explain why I was speeding and why I had 400 tacos in my
backseat.
I had like 1,200 tacos. We're going to turn the car into a taco mobile.
Okay, here's all you need for the simple installation for this wonderful
surprise. A length of 5/8 inch
tubing, some good strong tape, a brand new replacement dipstick, sealed and
shrink wrap, sanitary, that's
important. And last but not least, and this is where the fun comes in, a
container of chocolate syrup.
Let me just check that oil for you.
Let's see. Oh no, looks like we got plenty of oil. Look at that. Does that look
about right to you?
That oil look okay?
Yeah, that's right out of the engine. It's still kind of hot.
Not bad. You want to do this?
Attention citizens of Los Angeles, we have tacos.
I was looking for the 210 and then the orange. Can't find the orange freeway.
So then I thought well what the hell, I go to Ventura.
Don't you think it's kind of odd that I'm licking engine oil off the dipstick?
Yeah, a little bit. That don't bother you?
Not really. Doesn't bother you?
No.
Would you care for a free taco?
Everybody off the bus. There we go. It's tacos for everyone.
Have you ever seen a guy drink motor oil?
Mmm. It's one of those candid camera things. Look, come here. Come here. Here
we go.
I'm Alan Funt Jr. Hey, wave to the truck. Hey, just wave. See? There you go.
You want some of this?
Help yourself to the complimentary tacos. I've filled my car with tacos and I've
gone nuts.
Another thing that we did very frequently was to utilize 53rd Street.
One thing that started on the early show was throwing stuff off a five-story
tower, which we then took on to the new show by just throwing stuff off a roof.
And one of the things that we always had to do was get two of everything.
So if we were going to throw pinball machines, we'd have to get two of them,
one for rehearsal, one for the show.
All the prop guys would have to take it all the way up to the top and then load
it through this little, like, two-by-two trap door.
The climax of the thing was throwing as many fruits and vegetables, mostly
fruits, melons, that we could throw off the roof to sort of indicate fireworks.
And for that brief time, especially in the summer, it took this stench of urine
and garbage away from the streets and everything smelled like a wonderful margarita.
So one of the things that was, I think, also unique about the show is that
everybody on the staff and crew were always sort of in the bits.
They acted on the show, which I always enjoyed, and we had sort of people who
were, you know, quite capable of acting.
But I always appreciated when they used the crew and things.
You know, we had Pat and Kenny doing things.
Two of my favorite things Harold Larkin did.
One was he gave this impassioned speech on Labor Day about the merits of labor
and the commitment of the labor community to making the country great again.
I saw kind of a disturbing Labor Day Labor Department statistic today.
Really?
Yeah.
For the first time in six years, the productivity rate of American workers
dropped drastically.
Ah.
Here now to say a few words about this trend, Late Show head carpenter Harold Larkin.
Harold?
Thank you, Dave.
As a hardworking American and a proud union member, I really don't care what
some government statistics says about me and my fellow laborers.
Can a statistic describe the blood, sweat, and tears, the care and precision
that my co-workers and I put into everything we do?
Can a statistic tell you about the simple feeling of pride that swells up
inside your heart at the end of an honest day's work?
Can a statistic capture-
Quentin time, Dave.
I'm out of here.
Harold Larkin, that is gonna-
And then the other is, I think it was also involving Harold, where Harold
opened the door and then we had a green screen behind there and some kind of glowy
thing and it just ripped his pants off.
Again, for no reason, which I love those kinds of things in the show.
It's right sort of in my lane of comedy is the sillier and the dumber, the
better.
Listen to this.
The astronomers have announced the discovery of a massive black hole at the
center of the Milky Way galaxy.
Oh.
Isn't that amazing?
Yeah.
And I think we all know what that means.
What?
I don't know.
But you can apparently see it now with the naked eye.
Did you realize that?
Yeah, I didn't know that.
The Milky Way, if you go out at night, you can see the Milky Way.
You can just look up and see it, yeah.
Harold Larkin, our head carpenter.
Harold, do me a favor.
Open the door.
Let's see if we can get a look at the black hole, all right?
Oh, my God.
There it is.
There it is, Dave.
Yeah, I see it.
You can see that.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, I could have saw it.
The black hole pulled my pants off, Dave.
I saw that.
That's exactly what happened.
Pants were sucked into the black hole.
So another thing that happened on the show over a long period of time, we would
either build or acquire these apparatus to shoot things or fling things.
I remember I started on this show.
They had this donut-a-pult that they were fling donuts into the audience.
And the idea is that it would keep, you know, one-upping and one-upping and one-upping.
It got better and better and better.
And then somebody wanted to shoot donuts down 53rd Street.
So we built this giant apparatus.
I think we spent some dough on it.
And it worked horribly.
And it was one of the many things.
And there's a certain kind of charm to it when things don't work.
Although, when you're in the moment, it doesn't necessarily feel charming.
The donuts, the force of this thing...
I enjoy that.
...shatters the donuts.
So tonight, we'll be launching melons.
Ah!
Ah!
Very much.
It was unbelievable.
It went about 20 feet, ladies and gentlemen.
Wow!
We also used to shoot pumpkins down the street.
Not a lot of oversight.
We just sort of would say, Dave would say, shoot it.
We'd shoot it.
And one of the pumpkins actually hit a light post at the base and put a dent in
it by about six inches.
And then I think the next time, the idea was that we're going to shoot pumpkins
from the New York side of the Hudson all the way over to New Jersey.
It's required.
Satellite trucks required.
Light rigs.
We ended up renting a barge and putting sort of a demarcation zone between New
York and New Jersey.
I believe they shut down the Hudson in terms of water traffic and they
restricted the airspace to make sure that this worked.
And I get a call from the control room and they said, you've got to go and do
something.
We can't see the pumpkins.
So they had forgotten to realize that it gets dark really early every year on
Halloween.
And we tried painting the pumpkins.
We tried covering them in light sticks.
We tried lighting them on fire and nothing worked.
In the middle of it, when Dave said, shoot the pumpkin, you saw the pumpkin for
about one tenth of a second, even in slow motion.
But even more horrifying and kind of hilarious is that the people who were on
the barge knew that pumpkins were being launched, but they couldn't see them
coming.
So they were cowering behind the sort of wheelhouse and hoping that they didn't
get beamed by some of these giant eight-pound pumpkins shooting over towards
New Jersey.
It was one of those things that it was almost funnier that it didn't go well.
And the delightful thing is that Dave seemed to enjoy that it didn't go well.
So I guess it worked out.
During the commercial, our executive producer, Rob Burnett, approached the desk.
He asked permission, of course.
And he said this to me.
He said this.
He looked me right in the eyes and he said, we're screwed on these pumpkins.
And I said, what's the matter?
And he says, you're not going to be able to see anything.
Right.
You know that glow-in-the-dark tape?
Doesn't work.
No, no.
I'm sorry.
Go ahead, pick up the remote control.
Do whatever you have to do.
How much did we spend on getting the cannon out here?
Really?
Yeah.
$41,000.
Okay, Max, any time, boy.
Take it away.
Here we go.
Okay, I'm going to put a little more pressure in here, Dave.
Good idea.
How many PSI do I have now?
All right.
We've got just enough to reach New Jersey.
All right.
Here we go.
Are you ready?
I'm ready.
Okay.
Wow.
Pretty good.
Okay.
Let's take a look at it now in slow motion, instant replay.
Here we go.
The Pumpkin.
Oh, pretty good.
Okay, let's take a look at it now in slow motion instant replay.
Here we go, the pumpkin.
There, there you, oh!
Well, that, yeah, okay, stop it.
That glow-in-the-dark tape really does the trick.
It's so bright, it's hard to look at.
Don't look directly at the pumpkin.
I don't know if you ever knew this, but when we couldn't get a car,
so we'd just go to Hertz and rent it, and we would break the windows.
We would just take it back.
And then eventually