Name: U.S. Women's Soccer World Cup Champs, Mia Hamm and Brandi Chastain | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-12-02T23:08:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'U.S. Women's Soccer World Cup Champs, Mia Hamm and Brandi Chastain | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'U.S. Women's Soccer World Cup Champs, Mia Hamm and Brandi Chastain | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-02. Transcript available.

okay here's the uh world cup championship team this of course is uh brandy chastain
this is uh
mia ham right here and uh oh uh you don't you don't play much do you i scored
three goals against
denmark you moron let's take a look at the team there they are ladies and
gentlemen there's your
world cup champion the soccer team what a what a nice great bunch of terrific
athletes nice people
our first guest scored the final two penalty shots which led the u.s women's
soccer team to victory
in the 1999 world cup tournament ladies and gentlemen please welcome
two of your u.s women's world cup champions brandy chastain and mia ham kids
come on out
it's exciting isn't it
i got a lot of questions uh for you guys first of all talk to me about this uh
format you play a
regulation 90 minute game by the way how come in soccer you guys ought to know
this how come in
soccer there's not one guy with one clock that has one time for the whole game
how come you're sitting
at home and you think oh there's only two minutes left and it clicks over to 90
and you still playing
and they say no no no there's some stoppage time there's about three minutes of
stoppage play
what is that all about keeping you on the edge of your seat but but shouldn't
it be just one guy
with one clock so everybody knows what the hell's going on that's what that's
what we say because
we've been beaten in the 93rd minute so we'd love just to have someone say um
you know two minutes and
that's it right so is this the kind of thing you should take up with fifa
there are a lot of things we'd love to take up with fifa you know whatever
whatever you want to
take up with them i'm there i'll go i'll represent you in court whatever it
takes you're on but but
it's like are they trying to keep it a secret is it part of the strategy is it
it's all about control
they want control of the entire event that's right so you can you can have two
teams 90 000 people in
the stands nobody has any idea what time it is isn't that beautiful okay all
right so now moving on to
point number two uh you play uh two 45 minute halves right correct and then you
go to the 15 minute ot
is that what it was yes okay now after that the score is still nil nil
beautiful
uh and then you go to the penalty kick format now is that okay with you guys is
that the way you
want this competition to end up in a penalty i mean obviously this one worked
out just great
but i mean after you've played like uh 90 and 15 whatever that works out to be
you know it comes down to a whole different kind of contest doesn't it it's one
of those things it's
um you know usually what happens in penalty kicks is is the dominating team
doesn't win because um
psychologically you're so uh deterred because you've been dominating the game
you go into the
penalty kicks now it's a crap shoot i mean pretty much anyone has a chance to
win it's up to five
people and your goalkeeper and and so um it's it's frustrating we love to keep
playing and you know
we've talked about just you know keep dragging dead bodies off you know one by
one and uh now is this
is this the format for for world cup competition or is this the the universal
soccer uh uh rule
universal soccer all over the world every soccer match uh finishes up this way
if it goes uh scoreless
except for the mls they have their own set of rules which we don't need to go
we don't care we don't
care anything no we don't it's not that we don't care no no we care all the fifa
competitions ah the fifa
yeah now uh so so in the penalty kick shootout who has the advantage
statistically is it the goalie
or is it the shooter the kicker the kicker always has the advantage oh of
course i mean they know where
they're going the goalkeeper has to really react or guess to where the ball
might go yeah now what is
the the goalkeeper is limited she can only move laterally is that correct yeah
i mean there's you
know the spirit of the rule is that the goalkeeper can move laterally uh-huh
and and and sometimes i
think in this particular case uh our goalkeeper maybe indicated that she you
know took had a little
too much spirit with that rule absolutely bri has a lot of spirit and um she
made a great save that's
really that was in the spirit uh so so is it must be one of those deals where
you're playing some kind
of psychological games with the goalie you do you look at the goalie do you not
look at the goalie
well in my case earlier in the year we had played china to a draw or actually
we had got a penalty kick
and i was the one to take it and she kind of looked at me and gazed into my
eyes and gave me a little
wink and i was like oh and then i missed and so i said i'm not looking at that
girl again
it's the red menace that's the red menace we're talking about
you gotta watch it there's a game against germany that was in like the quarterfinals
is that the
game when early on like a minute into the game you you boot one into your own
goal yeah i was brought
how did that happen i mean you see it in hockey every now and then how did it
happen in this case
well germany came out really hard on us right from the beginning they were
ready to go and i think
they caught us on our heels and it was very loud in the stadium and i got to a
ball early and i
thought i was going to just pass it back to brian she was going to clear it but
uh she was coming
out and i hit it and then i looked up and it went into the goal it was just a
miscommunication it so
nobody else got to it you just your pass was errant absolutely i shouldn't have
passed it within
the frame of the goal i should have passed it outside but um so mia uh the the
other members of the
team on on the pitch are they on the pitch then yes we are uh when that happens
what is what does that
do to the morale of the team when they realize oh my god we're you know one of
one of our players
has scored a goal against us it's like sub um no no
no well it's it's not the way we had planned on starting out the game really no
that's not the
game plan no no no but um i'd have to say that everyone kind of bounced back
especially brandy you
know the way she composed herself and everyone was so positive and and uh her
kim coming back in the
second half and scoring a a very big goal for us to tie it 2-2 i think says a
lot about who she is as a
person absolutely and he ended up winning three two was that the score that you
threw three two
but you know dave i think i think the most memorable experience besides winning
in the final was that
as soon as i put the ball in the goal it was like i was so disappointed in
myself and for what i had done
uh against our team that our captain carla overbeck just looked me in the eye
and said forget about it
it's over we got a lot of soccer to play and she really gave me the courage to
go on because i could
see in her eyes that she trusted me that you know she wasn't let down by what
happened that we had a
lot to do it's a great lesson not only in sport but in life absolutely never
give up never let yourself
get down you get along you got teammates behind absolutely you know i want to
talk about something
else that kind of stuck up my nose here and get me in a bad mood i i hear now
that the uh and maybe
they've changed their mind that you know the big wheaties box oh let's put the
champions on the
wheaties box are you gonna be on the wheaties box or not uh we're working on it
working on it now see
that's my point well there should be no work it's a done deal it's a slam dunk
excuse me to use another
you're the man i'll take care of you're the guru it makes me think it makes me
wonder are the
weedies people a little soft on communism
so you guys are down at the white house how'd that go is that fun you've been
there like three
times a piece or something haven't you yeah it was hot yeah now you've you've
you've both you've both
won world cup titles before right uh and you both won olympic titles yes okay
and will the team now this
team more or less stay together for the is it the olympics or there's the
national tournament in
september right we have what's called the u.s cup coming in the fall and it's
going to be in the
midwest columbus ohio and their brand new stadium and then the other two dates
are to be determined
where they're going to be played and then we'll move on to the olympics are you
guys making any dough
out of this now can you i mean were you this is like an amateur tournament isn't
it theoretically you
you know like that wheaties box yeah we're working on it
look at this
i'm gonna tell you something uh i'm no sports marketing genius but this this
what i have here
this is a multi-million dollar photo to me this says so much about what you
guys were able to
accomplish and are you listening and this the celebration of the victory in pasadena
take
a look at this here we go this is all you need to know ladies and gentlemen
look at that the great
pretty damn good pretty damn good well i understand well we know for a fact
that uh
everybody else is here tonight and they have the hardware the actual this will
be the actual
world cup well we wanted to bring it to you because like you said you are the
guru of the
team i i really feel responsible for it thank you bring it in kids here we go
here's your 1999
everybody
thank you all very much congratulations nice to have you here there they are
kids world cup champions
you
you