Name: Artie Lange Gets Roasted By Don Rickles | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-12-13T23:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Artie Lange Gets Roasted By Don Rickles | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Artie Lange Gets Roasted By Don Rickles | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-13. Transcript available.

Our next guest, a very funny man who wrote and produced
and stars in a new film entitled
Artie Lang's Beer League.
It opens September 15th in selected cities.
Please say hello to Artie Lang.
Artie, welcome to the program.
Good to have you here.
This is not your first film.
You've been in films before, haven't you?
I've been in a lot of movies, actually.
They all sucked.
Which films would we have seen you in?
Hopefully this will be my first good one.
I was actually in a movie.
The first movie I was ever in was with a guy that,
I think you're a fan of Norm Macdonald.
Norm Macdonald's a very funny man.
Very, very funny.
We did a buddy comedy called Dirty Work together.
And you know when you get in these movies,
you're real nervous.
Thank you.
My God, that was the worst round of applause
in the history of show business.
Everything counts, though.
Thank you.
So you're just worried you're going to get fired
that first week.
So the first day of shooting,
we have to work with the great Don Rickles.
Tremendous.
Okay.
Just tremendous.
Now, that's good and bad.
I'm happy to meet him,
but I'm afraid I'm just going to bust out laughing
because Don Rickles, coincidentally enough,
plays a guy who insults me and Norm.
It's typecasting.
And they give Don a bunch of lines to learn,
and that's a mistake.
You know, he's a master at it.
So finally, he couldn't really remember the lines.
They say, Don, look.
Look at Norm and Artie.
Look at these two schlubs.
And just insult them off the top of your head.
So this is the first shot of the movie,
and I got Don Rickles about to insult me.
So they yell action.
The great Bob Saget directed the movie.
Don had just finished Casino with Scorsese.
He went up to Saget, and he said,
Bob, listen, I was talking to Martin Scorsese.
I said, Marty, Bob Saget's directing a film.
The man grabbed his chest.
So that was good for Saget's confidence.
So the first shot is a three-shot,
me, Norm, and Rickles.
So I'm trying not to laugh.
We play these idiot theater guys.
We work in a movie theater.
And Rickles is our boss.
So they yell action.
Rickles comes up to me.
I have no idea what he's going to say.
He gets this far from my face,
and he goes, look at you.
Look at you, you baby gorilla.
So I, me and Norm, just bust out laughing.
Like, I mean, it's Don Rickles
calling me a baby gorilla.
I throw up laughing almost.
And I think, oh, cut, Don.
You've got to do it again.
We're sorry.
You blew the take.
I'm getting yelled at.
Executives from MGM are looking at me like,
you know, we're firing this jerk, you know.
And I go, all right, how am I going to get through this?
They go, action.
He comes up to me and he goes, look at you.
Look at you, you baby gorilla.
And I laugh again.
So this happens 20 straight times.
I laugh every time.
I'm afraid I'm going to get fired.
They're paying him by the day.
So they, I think it was like 100 grand a day.
So they had to get him out of there.
So I'm wasting money.
Finally, I get through the baby gorilla part.
Now I don't know what the second half is going to be.
He hasn't finished consulting me yet.
So they do a take.
I get through baby gorilla.
And then he goes to me.
He goes, uh, Baskin Robbins called me and said that you ate them down to only
five flavors.
You fat, disgusting slob.
And then me and Norm laugh again.
Yeah.
That takes another 20 takes.
We're going to have to do it in sections.
So we get through that.
And then, and then when he says I ate them down to only five flavors, the next
thing he does
is he puts his face right by my belly.
And he goes, having a good time in their ice cream?
Dancing around?
Genius.
Yeah.
He's a genius.
So, uh, so he couldn't stop laughing.
He gets through that, and then he gets to Norm.
He has to insult Norm now.
Norm, by the way, never didn't laugh.
If you rent the movie Dirty Work, Norm is laughing in the scene.
That's his own thing, yeah.
He's not a great actor like me, Norm.
We weren't exactly Newman and Redford, you know.
So, uh, then he gets, Rickles gets to Norm.
He's laughing, so they had to write him a line.
He goes, what are you laughing at?
Because I called your friend the fat pig.
And then Norm goes, no, I was just laughing when you were talking to his belly.
So, while we're filming in the movie, he goes to Norm, he goes, how did you get
a movie?
And Saget goes, Saget being a brilliant director, goes, cut.
Don, you can't insult him as Norm MacDonald.
That's not going to work, you know.
He's, we can't put it in the film.
His name is Mitch in the film.
Insult Mitch.
So, Rickles goes, all right.
And the next thing he goes, he goes, look at you.
He goes, he goes, who wrote this script?
These jokes are horrible.
Cut down.
Don't insult the script.
We can't use it.
So, anyway, it was 18 hours of that.
At the end of the day, I went up to him.
I said, Mr. Rickles, it was a pleasure working with you.
And he looked at me and he said, listen, I was watching you all day.
And listen, let me tell you something.
Good luck working construction.
That's all you want.
How's Howard?
Howard's doing good, man.
We're on satellite radio.
That's what I hear.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you see anything about that?
We're allowed to curse on the radio.
It makes me funny.
Tell him I said hello.
I will.
Let's show folks a clip of Artie Lang's Beer League.
And this is like guys in a big, semi-professional, amateur softball league.
Yeah.
Take it very seriously.
It's a rated-R comedy about a softball team in Jersey, a beer league team.
You ever played in one of these?
Oh, God, yeah.
That's why me and a guy who writes for you, Frank Sebastiano, we wrote it
together.
Yeah, very funny.
And he directed it.
And it's a good old-fashioned rated-R comedy.
We got some topless broads in a bachelor party scene.
Check it out.
Well, we don't even need to show a clip now if we got to.
I'm sorry, yeah.
All right, Selected Cities, September 15th.
Artie, great pleasure to see you again.
Thank you very much.
I'm a big fan, Dave.
Well, I hope you'll come back real soon.
I would love to.
Thank you, sir.
Artie Lang, everybody.
We'll be right back.