Name: Dave Talks To Department Store Santas | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-12-19T15:50:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Talks To Department Store Santas | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Talks To Department Store Santas | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-19. Transcript available.

A couple of days ago, uh, I had an opportunity to go out to lunch
with a half a dozen, eight or nine, sidewalk department store Santa Claus guys.
Yeah, here in New York City.
We went to, uh, the 2nd Avenue Deli down at 2nd Avenue and 10th Avenue,
2nd Avenue and 10th Street.
Wonderful, wonderful restaurant.
And we just sat around and we told stories about the holidays.
Watch.
Now, where do you work?
Bloomingdale's.
Right here in the city.
Oh, man, that's a pretty good gig, isn't it?
And what sort of, uh, unusual things happen to you in this job?
I'm sitting up here, uh, getting him a picture taken with his little kid.
I'm trying to hold him.
Got him around the neck.
Every which way.
And to retaliate, he sets his teeth.
Oh, right in there.
Right, bite your, bite your fur right here.
In the following reenactment, the part of the child will be played by Richard
Simmons.
I'm going to live with Santa.
What would you like, Uncle?
Oh, so many things.
I would like a Barbie doll.
And I'd like the new Barbie house.
I'd like Ken.
I'd like all of Ken's friends.
Wait a minute.
You can't have all that.
I can't.
Well, for the other kids.
I can't.
Well, what kind of things have been thrown at you?
Cheeseburger.
Well, we have this one, and we have another one here.
It's the hamburger, because all day long.
With French fries.
I know you get candy, but you don't get fries.
Big balls of gum.
Gumballs for Santa.
Yes, he's got to have gumballs.
Crystal.
Crystal.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Anything unusual, anything memorable happen to you, Santa?
I had an unusual request from a young man, probably about every bit of four or
five years old.
He said, you can't put the gifts under the tree this year.
Last year, the gifts were put under the tree.
My favorite gift was there.
I got down looking at it, and Nana was coming down the steps.
As Nana goes to step off the last step, she does a header into the Christmas
tree,
which, in turn, as this young man described it, proceeded to smash his race car
set that was there
into pieces all over the floor.
The part of Nana will be played by Richard Simmons.
I don't know, I'm a little confused.
I don't exactly know what you want me to do here.
You've just got to fall onto this box.
Fall onto the box?
Yeah.
The part of Nana will be played by Richard Simmons.
I'm afraid.
I'm not a stunt man, okay?
If you want to get Chuck Morse or somebody, please do it.
Please do it?
Yes.
For Dave.
For Dave.
Okay.
Oh!
Hold on, hold on.
All in.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, jeez.
I'm sorry.
Excuse me, Nana.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
A little more.
Let me get...
You know, at The Late Show, we have our own...
The Late Show, Santa Claus.
Leonard!
Here he comes.
Merry Christmas, you fat red bastards!
Thank you for doing so many wonderful things
for so many wonderful people.
And in return, I now would like to do something wonderful for you,
if you don't mind.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.