Name: Mike Birbiglia's Network Television Debut | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-01-06T22:44:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mike Birbiglia's Network Television Debut | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mike Birbiglia's Network Television Debut | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-06. Transcript available.

our next guest is a very funny young gentleman he's making his network
television debut with
us tonight and he'll be performing this weekend right here in new york city at
a place called
the comic strip ladies and gentlemen please welcome mike birbiglia mike
all right hey everybody good to see you uh dave got my last name right it's birbiglia
everyone gets it wrong when telemarketers call they'll be like good afternoon
may i speak with
mister oh man gabigaboo i'm like yeah gabigaboo doesn't live here anymore even
automated telemarketers
get it wrong they'll be like good afternoon may i speak with mr system ever i
got a girlfriend right
now she's a little bit older than i am she's starting to get to the age where
she's thinking
about having kids which is exciting because we're gonna have to break up
my girlfriend and i we worry about different things the other day i was like
what do you fear the most
and she was like i fear you'll meet someone else and you'll leave me and i'll
be all alone and she
was like what do you fear the most and i was like bears
a bear is an intimidating animal although i found out recently the animal that
kills the most humans
per year is not the bear it's the hippo i didn't even know hippos ate humans i
just thought they ate
those little white marbles
i thought that was the point of hungry hungry hippo that hippos are marble vores
last week my girlfriend calls me from work she's like you gotta take tony that's
her cat to the vet
because he's got a urinary tract infection so i took him in they give you this
questionnaire about the cat
and i didn't know any of the answers i got like two right
cat and male it said breed and i wrote question mark brown
it said describe the reason you were here today and i wrote my girlfriend is at
work
my brother lives on my block he's always trying to fix my finances he got me
involved with an online
bank one of these flybynight.com makes me nervous it's like people my age
running a bank
sometimes the transactions don't even happen last week i called up i was like
do you guys still have
my money and everything and they were like dude we are so sorry
we spent it all on limp biscuit tickets
i got an e-trade account turns out i can turn one thousand dollars into four
hundred and twenty dollars
in less than a week sure i had to pay some fees
someone stole my wallet last week the guy called me up he was mad at me he was
like you gotta get your
finances together you've got no cash your credit cards are maxed out you don't
even have minutes on your
calling card i had to use my card to call you
i like this rapper buster runs you guys know buster run sometimes he'll yeah
sometimes he'll have a real
good rhyme he'll say his name afterwards he'll be like cat in the hat and that
was that buster runs
i'd like to do that with jokes like i like drinking coffee but if i ever reach
a point in my life
where the best part of waking up is folgers in my cup i'm not sure i want to
wake up mike barbiglia
i went to los angeles recently and i saw people flashing gang signs in the
street and i didn't know
what to do so i go like this i go they were like what gang is that and i was
like paper scissors
so they threw rocks at me and i was like paper beets rock mike barbiglia
so thank you everybody