Name: Dave's Big Idea For The Times Square New Year's Eve Ball Drop | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-01-11T16:01:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Big Idea For The Times Square New Year's Eve Ball Drop | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Big Idea For The Times Square New Year's Eve Ball Drop | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-11. Transcript available.

Hi, I'm Barbara Gaines, and we're back from the holiday break with my guests,
Mary Barkley and Dave Letterman.
Hi, everybody. Thank you very much. Happy New Year. Let me be the first to wish
you and yours a Happy New Year.
Thank you.
Yeah. What did you do on the break, Barbara?
Oh, me. It's like deja vu. Not much.
Mary, how about you?
Yeah, same. I can't think of anything, but it was fine.
Yeah, fine. I had a rich, full, jam-packed, active, great fun holiday.
What did you do?
I can't recall.
I think that's how it is.
Yeah, but I was very busy. I know that.
Went through a lot of laundry.
Actually, I was in Washington State.
Oh, Washington State. What is the state?
I think it's the Evergreen.
No, that's Maine.
It is?
Yeah, I thought Maine was the Evergreen State.
All right.
The Space Needle State.
Is that?
It's the Space Needle in Seattle, yeah.
That's not the Space Needle State.
The Aerospace State.
That's on the license plate, though, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, we need to know.
We do?
Am I wrong about the Evergreen?
Or maybe Vermont is the Evergreen State?
I don't know.
Walter, are you looking it up?
For heaven's sakes.
The Evergreen State.
I think you're right.
Why didn't somebody rehearse this?
Research this?
No money in the budget.
We don't rehearse or research.
So what is Washington?
It's the Evergreen State.
Well, what's Maine?
The rock-bound coast state?
Home of L.L. Bean?
I used to love L.L. Bean when it was L.L. Bean.
I don't know what the hell it is now.
Uh-oh.
It used to be a great thing, and now I don't know what it is.
You know who I blame, and you can't blame him, is Yvon Chouinard.
What a guy this guy is.
And he starts out as a farrier, an iron blacksmith, making custom-made climbing
gear.
What did you find out?
The Pine Tree State.
Which one?
Is that Maine?
Oh, pretty close.
So I was pretty close.
Yeah.
Because pine trees tend to be evergreen.
So somebody owes Maine an apology.
I don't know if it's Washington.
I think it's you.
I'm so sorry.
No, my friend's in Washington.
I've been up to Washington.
It's very nice up there.
It's nice.
I like Washington.
But anyway, Yvon Chouinard, then he turns his company, he builds it into a
multi-billion dollar
company, and then he turns it all over to the employees and says, here, you
people have
worked hard.
You run this company.
And by the way, it's now all for charity.
So I thought, whoa.
L.L. Bean is all for charity.
No, no.
Yvon Chouinard, Patagonia.
Did I say?
No, Yvon Chouinard had nothing to do with L.L. Bean.
Oh, Patagonia.
Did I mislead people with that story?
I think you started talking about L.L. Bean, and then you said, oh, but you
know who I do like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that Yvon Chouinard.
Yeah, you missed the pivot.
I'm sorry.
I would like to go, in a perfect world, I'd like to go fishing with Yvon Chouinard,
Ted
Turner, and Tom Brokaw.
I bet that could happen.
Somebody better call Ted's house.
I could make this happen.
Yeah, anyway, what were we talking about?
Oh, the nice thing about Patagonia, everything they make, outerwear, innerwear,
upland, downland,
lowland, mountain, ocean, whatever it is, all their apparel is edible.
I don't think so.
It is.
So if you ever get stuck in an avalanche, for example, God forbid, you can eat
your coat.
Then you'll be cold.
Oh, yeah.
Then you can eat your hat.
All right.
I think that's good information.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
You did a great job on the Rose Parade.
I love that.
Yeah.
Out there every...
It's nice for those of us here in the wintry in northeastern part of the
country to see beautiful
sunshine in Pasadena.
You were fantastic.
I love those flowers.
And she was at the tree lighting.
Oh, the tree lighting was the best this year, and our hearts and prayers go out
to Al
Roker, who I understand is fine now.
Yeah.
But you and Al, the chemistry is indescribable.
I don't think I've ever met Al.
Yeah.
And you were also at the Macy's Parade.
Oh, the Macy's Parade.
Oh, that really kicks off the parade season.
I wasn't at the Macy's Parade.
And the ball drop.
You had four big events.
Oh, the ball drop.
It's very exciting.
A million people in Times Square and no portable toilets.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm happy I wasn't there.
But the ball drop is so inconsequential because it drops like eight feet, and
they say that
it's made of some kind of crystal.
What's the big crystal company?
Swarovski?
No, but it's not them.
Waterford.
Waterford.
Waterford.
Oh, Waterford.
Yeah, they make the big crystal thing.
And, of course, it's not crystal.
If it was crystal, it would be stolen.
So it's plastic.
And the thing just drops like eight feet.
And when I used to have a show, I would rail about this, and nobody would ever
listen to
me.
They get a guy who goes up in a balloon, and he gets up like 70,000, 80,000
feet up into
space.
And when it's time for him to fall out of the capsule, he falls out of the
capsule and
free falls right back down to where they launched him.
And I always thought, come on, do that in Times Square.
There's your ball drop.
Who's the guy who fell out of the, who did the thing?
I don't know his name.
It was like a big Red Bull thing, right?
It was like a sponsor.
Yeah, two guys have done it.
And they broke the speed of sound falling out of this balloon.
And, you know, talk about a million people.
You'd have a hundred million people in Times Square to see that.
I don't want to see no phony ball drops eight feet.
You want the guy to land in Times Square, in the middle of Times Square?
Yes, right next to Ryan Seacrest.
That would be fab.
Yeah, I mean, and then they could get rid of the Dick Clark part of it.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Poor Dick Clark, God bless him, but he's not on the show.
No.
But you get that guy falling from 80,000 feet right down the next to Ryan Seacrest,
then you got something.
Yeah, and they still call it Dick Clark's, Ryan Seacrest's, rockin' Dick Clark's,
rockin' EU.
Yeah, but let that other guy, who's that other guy?
His name's Felix somebody.
Look him up, Walter.
But people watch the other one now.
They watch Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper.
Yeah, well, you get this guy Felix and make that thing look like a student film.
And our friend Amy Sedaris was on that one.
Oh, yeah, Amy.
I love Amy.
Oh, yeah.
Why was she on there with those guys?
She's friends with Andy and Anderson.
Andy Cohen does those Housewives shows, right?
Yeah, I love those shows.
Felix Bob Gardner.
Felix, read to us what he did.
Wildly known for jumping to Earth from a helium balloon from the Stratospeaker.
Whoa.
This is exactly what I'm talkin' about.
Right.
Oh, that's who we had him at the end of the montage.
Okay.
But get him, Walter, on the phone.
He'd never get a permit for that in Times Square.
Right.
Oh, for God's sakes, you're crammin' a million people in there who have sneaked
alcohol in.
You get a permit for that.
A guy falling from space.
Insurance.
Yes, a guy fall.
Just think of it.
Then we're talkin' about what a way to kick off the new year.
I'd stay up for that.
What if they put Anderson Cooper up there and dropped him from space?
Well, now you're being silly.
Felix, let's get him.
Seriously, Walter, we can make this happen.
Yeah.
I think this has been a fantastic show.
I do, too.
It's been more like a kind of a pitch session, really.
I think it's a good place to end.
Pure show.
All right.
Well, wonderful.
Don't forget to subscribe.
And hit the bell.
And we'll see you.
Have a good year, Coach.
Goodbye.
He fell at 843 miles per hour.
This is what I'm talkin' about.
It's insane.
Yeah, of course it is.