Name: CBS Mailbag: Dave's New Alcohol-Free Gin | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-01-26T16:15:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'CBS Mailbag: Dave's New Alcohol-Free Gin | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'CBS Mailbag: Dave's New Alcohol-Free Gin | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-26. Transcript available.

ladies and gentlemen now the ceremonial presentation of tonight's letters by
the way
actual letters from actual viewers and who knows perhaps tonight we could be
reading one of yours
260 million people in america we're reading four letters you do the math einstein
and now the ceremonial presentation of tonight's letters and by the way the
ceremonial presentation
of the letters was mentioned the other night in the state of the union
addressed by president
clinton he mentioned it as being one of the last significant uh meaningful
ceremonies that the
kids young and old alike look up to i'm right yeah all right here we go huh i'm
right ceremonial
presentation letter number one letter number one all right letter number one
all right dear dave did you watch the oj civil verdict the other night your pa
uh ben workman lansing michigan uh well you know like everybody i guess i was
watching it and i
you know i thought one of the really interesting things about it afterward
after they announced the
decision oj gets in his car and on his way home he stops at uh baskin robbins
and he picks up some
of that uh pint of that uh you know rocky alibi or whatever he picked up but
more more interesting
than that the kid look how everybody's trying to cash in on the the kid who
sold oj the cone look at
this already got a book out take a look at that double scoop of murder by bob
cooper
all right all right now paul this time don't make me sound quite so fruity you
know what i mean
okay i'm sorry i didn't know all right letter number two oh real with that but
not so fruity
letter number two comedy from around the world all right keep going fine thanks
uh dear dave letter number two begins i'm drunk right now are you well no
sincerely jim sansato in a drunken state saint joseph missouri uh let me tell
you something in all
honesty i used to drink man did i used to drink i loved drinking i loved
everything about it i quit i had
to quit because i had a little too much to drink you know what i'm saying so i
quit i gave it up and i
haven't had a drink in like 15 16 years but what a coincidence tonight we're
introducing a brand new
product it's called uncle dave's non-alcoholic gin look at that you know why
can't somebody come up
with a drink that has all the taste of gin but without the alcohol hey paul why
not try some of this
uncle dave's uncle dave's non-alcoholic gin
mmm wow great gin taste yes it's uncle dave's non-alcoholic gin for all those
times in life when you
want the glory taste of gin but don't want to get fried ask for it by name you
are one clever son of a
bitch i'll bring to that uncle dave's non-alcoholic gin available whatever
times for that also
that's comedy right there that's comedy bro i'd like to i'd like to see the russian
do something
like that that's real comedy ain't it okay now here we go letter number three
okay now here we go letter
number three uh hey dave sometimes one of your arms seems longer than the other
what gives charles
ouch south carolina well i think i think charles your eyes are fooling you
because my arms are pretty
much actually the same length you know our show is full of little visual tricks
like this which is why
tonight we're debuting a brand new segment entitled late show optical illusions
on a recent episode dave appears to be providing some kind of entertainment
but a quick shot of the audience reveals that no entertainment is taking place
whatsoever
it's just another one of those amazing late show optical illusions
that's right okay okay here we go
letter number four here we go
we have a winner no more calls please letter number four
dear dave i just wanted to write and say that you and the entire late show gang
are awesome sincerely randall le bishop eugene oregon this is a very very nice
letter and it means a
great deal to us and thank you very much randall but you know we really only
deserve a very small
amount of the credit the real credit goes to the long list of fine actors who
have played the parts
of biff henderson one of our stage managers paul schaefer of course and dave
letterman here on the late
show in fact we've invited those talented performers to join us here tonight
ladies and gentlemen please
welcome the two actors who have played our stage manager biff henderson over
the years eric mcdermott
and tony wales boys come on in they're there
nice job boys thank you very much great job and now now a nice welcome to the
three actors who have
played the part of paul schaefer over the years mark vanicor and wally campbell
went a great job keep up the good work
this is i want to tell you what happened this is the very best rehearsal we've
ever had
leonard get out of here leonard you ain't out yet
he ain't out here is he uh-huh
that a boy a little out of your life yeah it's not a little i don't kill you
been here at three
o'clock this afternoon read a memo added comedy that's all and finally ladies
and gentlemen please
say hello to the three actors who preceded me in the role of dave letterman larry
matheson mitch
semmel and tony randall kids come on out
thank you very much biff great job paul thank you very much thank you sir paul
thank you dave nice to see
you great job dave thank you very much dave always a pleasure it's my best for
your wife
let's close out cbs
let's close out
you