Name: Staff Favorite Moments: Writer Steve O'Donnell, Part 2 | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-02-07T16:50:53.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Favorite Moments: Writer Steve O'Donnell, Part 2 | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Favorite Moments: Writer Steve O'Donnell, Part 2 | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-07. Transcript available.

Hello, I'm Steve O'Donnell, yes, of Steve's Picks, and here are some more picks.
I could really do these forever. There's so many things that I liked.
I'm going to particularly focus on the peculiar, savory, unsung items
from the first few years of Late Night with David Letterman on NBC.
When you do a late night comedy variety talk show, you have to have index cards.
And if you even talk about a late night comedy variety talk show,
it really helps to have the index cards. Three by five, two by three, five by
seven,
but you got to have the cards. Blue, I've seen them try salmon. I don't think
it works.
Of course, we see a lot of Bill Murray clips over the years from the late night
show,
but there were two or three bits in the first few months of the show that I had
a hand in
and are close to my heart. The first one seems like a terrible idea now.
I suggested simply that Dave and Bill become blood brothers, which I'm sure the
Board of Health
would, would frown on now. Do we have to go through with this?
Ah. Well, see, it's hard.
Well, I may need a checkup. I...
Ouch. Damn.
Oh, here we go. Whoa. All right. Thank you.
I got to. All right. All right. Now, let's...
This, of course, is actual blood and a little ketchup.
There we go.
Okay, I think the NBC nurse was on hand for that, and what a character, because
she was kind of a chain smoker.
In fact, the whole staff in those days, it was like all these writers in their
20s,
and then the floor crew was all these guys in their 60s with sort of 1930s and
40s metropolitan New York accents,
and it was just the greatest contrast, because they were these great kind of
character types that we could use and show on camera,
and show on camera, which I don't think other shows had done that much up till
then.
A much more prepared bit for Bill Murray.
We had had our viewer mail segment in the act one where there's a lot of
theater, people wearing costumes and playing parts,
and when Bill Murray came on to do his guest segment in the act two,
he wanted to bring the whole cast of viewer mail out for just one more curtain
call,
so he calls them out, but there was a problem.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
What's the problem, Bill?
You two weren't in that bit.
No, I don't, I don't...
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Now we'll see what he's made of.
You two weren't in that bit.
You weren't up here doing what they were doing,
giving, and then giving, and then giving some more.
You're up here just taking.
I got a nutty conquistador helmet on.
Give me some respect.
No. No.
Why the hell aren't you out there in the audience with the others saying,
yes, yes, yeah, we love you for giving.
Get out of here.
The hell out of here.
Get out.
Steve Martin did so many great bits,
but I savor some of the little throwaways,
like when he was promoting the movie The Three Amigos,
he showed some of the merchandise tie-in promotional items.
Yeah, here's a good one.
This is The Visible Amigo.
You can see the sombrero.
You're right.
These seem, if nothing but appropriate.
It's what the public really wants.
Yeah, exactly.
I always liked some of the strange, stilted bits we would do.
It didn't necessarily get laughs from the audience,
but I thought that if people at home were like me,
they'd be savoring them.
For a few months,
we borrowed items on loan
from the American Museum of Natural History.
And why they would go along with this,
I have no idea.
One of the items was a taxidermied manta ray.
At the end of the week,
it gave a farewell speech,
which was narrated by one of our rather shy staffers,
Barbara Sheehan.
Has a week gone by already?
Yes, it certainly has.
I, the largest female rough-tailed stingray
ever caught by an amateur fisherman,
must now return to the museum.
But shed no tears for me.
My life has been a full one.
I am proud of my many offspring,
some of whom I have cannibalized.
And I am honored to have shared a stage
with Alba Ballard and her costumed parents.
But my greatest thrill
is knowing that you like me.
You actually like me.
Thank you.
Okay, bye-bye.
Thank you so much.
It's been a great week.
You can tell by the eyeglasses,
I'm bookish.
I like books.
And we did a segment called Bookmobile
with our scenic designer, Kathleen Anchors,
as the library lady,
and with one of our sage-hands
as gruff but lovable Gus.
Let's look at three bookmobiles that I like.
Oh, here we have another big book.
This one is a really good-selling book this summer.
It's a favorite among history buffs.
It's called Hell on Stilts.
It's the story of the U.S. Army's famous wooden rangers.
The high-walking regiment that broke the back
of Hitler's war machine.
It's...
Library lady, do you know anything about the wooden rangers?
I understand they did very well at Anzio.
Oh, okay.
You know, books on feminism and women's issues
are always of interest,
and here's one with a fresh perspective.
It's called
Women's Be Thinking Too Much
by Ike Turner.
This is a very impressive collection.
One of the most ambitious trilogies ever written
by a cranky old lady.
It's the privately published by Mrs. Edna P. Hessler.
It's the three-volume, 2,000-page
collected complaints of Edna P. Hessler.
Here we have volume number one,
which is called
I Don't Feel Well, I Tell You.
Volume number one.
Volume number two,
Those Damn Neighbor Kids.
And finally,
I think her most riveting work to date,
volume number three,
It's So Terribly Damp.
Now, just back to favorite people,
Paul Reubens as Pee-wee Herman.
All right, see, already you're smiling.
You just hear me say Pee-wee Herman.
He did so many wonderful things.
David Letterman, David Letterman,
David Letterman, David Letterman.
I couldn't figure it out or anything.
What was going on or anything.
So, this guy's right on my butt.
David Letterman, David Letterman, David Letterman, David Letterman, David
Letterman, David Letterman, David Letterman.
We liked having little enhancements at the home base, which means the desk
where Dave sits.
We liked having little enhancements at the home base, which means the desk
where Dave sits.
The ever inventive Randy Cohen suggested we have our own dancing waters, which
are these musical fountains that have colored lights on them.
So, we installed them in front of Dave's desk.
Okay, by the way, for the crew filling in here tonight, after the show, feel
free to come on down here and wash up in the dancing waters.
All right, there was a problem.
The actual dancing waters people threatened us with a lawsuit, and the NBC
lawyers said they had a pretty good case.
But, maybe this is why I was the head writer, I came up with a solution to
simply change the name.
Okay, so we're going to change the name.
You heard it from Charles Kleinbaum.
Good gosh, what else can you do?
So, we can no longer refer to it as the dancing waters.
Heretofore, or here from now on, you understand, it will be known as the prancing
fluids.
Here's a classic bit from a little later on, a couple of years into the show,
but it's where a mystery in the studio
is revealed by stage manager Biff Henderson.
Here we go.
Dear Dave, what's that thing that looks like a fuse box that guests walk by on
the way to your desk?
A big fan, Jim Marshall, Carl Place, Long Island, New York.
I think you're right, if that's what you're talking about, Jim.
I think it's just an old disconnected fuse box.
Is that what it is, Biff, right over there?
Yeah, right, Dave.
I think it's just an old fuse box or something.
That's all it is.
It's just an old fuse box.
Yeah.
You know what, Dave, as a matter of fact, I don't even believe this thing is
hooked up.
No, I don't think so either.
It's just an old, not really anything there.
Oh, my God.
A word that Dave sometimes liked to use was untoward, if something was untoward
or unseemly.
We tried a couple of bits that seemed like, are these good ideas?
Are they strange?
Or are they kind of fun for their, for their unexpectedness?
Here's two bits that involve our announcer, Bill Wendell.
All right, fellas.
Come on, follow me.
There's nothing down here.
This is ridiculous.
Just come along.
There's just one more thing I want you to see, and it's right this way.
Where are you taking this?
Bill, there's nothing, there's nothing down here.
All right.
Hands up.
Let's have your wallets.
Your hands where I can see them.
Bill, what are you talking about?
The wallets right now, both of you.
You too, Paul, and the jewelry.
Come on.
Give me the rings.
The rings?
Billy, are you kidding?
Don't push your luck.
You, Dave, the watch.
Come on, the watch.
Oh, Bill, it's a present from my uncle.
You're breaking my heart, Dave.
Hand it over.
Oh, but Bill, this is crazy.
You'll never get away with this.
Don't make me laugh.
The ID bracelet, too.
Everything.
You think they'll take your word over mine?
I've been an announcer at this network for over 30 years.
Now I'm going downstairs, all right?
Up against the wall.
Both of you, right now, arms spread.
If I hear anything at all, you're in trouble.
Count to 500.
And I'm just going to leave you right here.
If I hear a word, I'm going to let little Betsy do all the talking.
Hey, Dave, are we going for a walk?
Yeah, that's right, Bill.
Give me a favor.
There's a shovel in the back seat.
Get that.
Okay.
And also, there's a gun.
Bring that along.
Sure.
Well, that's it.
Great.
It's all done.
There it is.
Great.
Now what, Dave?
Now, Bill, we're going to let a little daylight through you.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
No, Dave.
Please.
Yep.
Let me ask you one question, Bill.
Yeah?
You ever heard of a TV show called Bloopers and Practical Jokes?
Yeah?
There's the camera right there.
Oh, my gosh.
Come on.
Bring the camera in here.
It was a kitty.
Oh, boy.
Isn't that something?
I was a...
See, the ascent of birds, instead of dwelling on the actual violence, was an
artistic touch.
We might have gotten a Peabody for that one.
How about some actual, genuine, well, kind of genuine art?
Meryl Marko and Dave, they had a couple of dogs.
Meryl had them filmed and provided a narration and a voiceover in the dog's
frame of mind
that was called Dog Poetry.
I should also mention the nation of Bulgaria, then a communist bloc
dictatorship, sponsored
an international humor festival.
We submitted dog poetry and it won a prize.
So Meryl got a big communist trophy from this eastern bloc nation.
Now, from high ideals to quick action, here's a Who Asked For It segment where
an obvious plant in the audience asks for a preposterous favor and Dave grants
it.
Well, Dave, I've seen you a couple of times in the past throw your pencil
through the window behind you and, well, it looks like fun.
I wonder if I could come down and give it a try.
Sure, if I can try out your accent, why not?
Here we go.
Let's give you a pencil right here.
Oh, no, no, no, man.
I didn't mean your wee pencils.
I mean a big man-sized pencil.
A man-sized pencil?
Aye, there you go.
Oh, okay, a man-sized pencil, sure.
How about a drum roll?
Anton, a little drum roll?
That'd be great.
Okay, now don't hurt yourself, for heaven's sake.
Here we go.
Ah, yes, that was me in the kilt.
The endless variation of certain bits that we would try that involved getting a
celebrity to cooperate,
and especially a musical celebrity, were the musical kickoffs to completely
ordinary comedy bits.
We even had super legitimate talents like Henry Mancini compose a theme for us.
The viewer mail theme was written by Henry Mancini, and when it debuted, it was
conducted by him as well.
Now, if I can wrap things up in a way that's sort of inspiring, I'd like to
mention something that writer Jeff Martin,
who's wonderfully musical, as many of the writers were, and Meryl Marko,
I think of her as either the most artistic comedy writer I've ever known, or
the funniest artist.
Anyway, they got together to create, it was supposed to be sort of mock-inspiring.
I find it genuinely inspiring, the Late Night Anthem.
There's a cool breeze blowing, you can feel it cross the land.
It's clear blue skies, grandma's eyes, a place where you can stand.
And late night is the reason, our forefathers fought with pride.
It's surf and fun, a dad and son, a feeling that's deep inside.
It's a late night world, it's a world that we can share.
So turn on your TV, and watch it with me.
It's a late night world of love.
It's a late night world of love.
How'd we do?
Not bad, we almost broke even.
Yeah?
Good night, Barry.
Okay, did you want any lemonade?
No, that's all right, knock yourself out.
See you, Hal.
Hi, Dave.
Good night.
Damn neighborhood kids messing with my flowers again.
Oh, hi, neighbor.
Hi, Bill, how's it going?
Say, are those little kids around here of a trash yard garden?
No, they pretty much leave me alone, Bill.
Yeah.
Oh, incidentally, could I borrow the charcoal grill?
Oh, sure, take the coals and the starter, it's all yours, anytime.
That's very kind, thanks very much.
Lawn looks great.
Did a lot of work on it.
I know you have, Bill.
Thank you.
Good night.
Good night, man.
Let's go, get in here and go to bed!
Fallen chain.
It's a lovely woman.
Oh, big show tomorrow.
What do we got, a boxer and a music guy?
Yeah, a lot of work there.
Lights out, Mr. Letterman.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Stupid network.
All these damn rules.
And another thing, Wendell, how come you never get to host the show?
At least McMahon gets to sit on the couch.
I wish they'd buy a trailer.
I wish they'd buy a trailer.

Staff Favorite Moments: Writer Steve O'Donnell, Part 2 | Letterman

Hello, I'm Steve O'Donnell, yes, of Steve's Picks, and here are some more picks.
I could really do these forever. There's so many things that I liked.
I'm going to particularly focus on the peculiar, savory, unsung items
from the first few years of Late Night with David Letterman on NBC.
When you do a late night comedy variety talk show, you have to have index cards.
And if you even talk about a late night comedy variety talk show,
it really helps to have the index cards. Three by five, two by three, five by
seven,
but you got to have the cards. Blue, I've seen them try salmon. I don't think
it works.
Of course, we see a lot of Bill Murray clips over the years from the late night
show,
but there were two or three bits in the first few months of the show that I had
a hand in
and are close to my heart. The first one seems like a terrible idea now.
I suggested simply that Dave and Bill become blood brothers, which I'm sure the
Board of Health
would, would frown on now. Do we have to go through with this?
Ah. Well, see, it's hard.
Well, I may need a checkup. I...
Ouch. Damn.
Oh, here we go. Whoa. All right. Thank you.
I got to. All right. All right. Now, let's...
This, of course, is actual blood and a little ketchup.
There we go.
Okay, I think the NBC nurse was on hand for that, and what a character, because
she was kind of a chain smoker.
In fact, the whole staff in those days, it was like all these writers in their
20s,
and then the floor crew was all these guys in their 60s with sort of 1930s and
40s metropolitan New York accents,
and it was just the greatest contrast, because they were these great kind of
character types that we could use and show on camera,
and show on camera, which I don't think other shows had done that much up till
then.
A much more prepared bit for Bill Murray.
We had had our viewer mail segment in the act one where there's a lot of
theater, people wearing costumes and playing parts,
and when Bill Murray came on to do his guest segment in the act two,
he wanted to bring the whole cast of viewer mail out for just one more curtain
call,
so he calls them out, but there was a problem.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
What's the problem, Bill?
You two weren't in that bit.
No, I don't, I don't...
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Now we'll see what he's made of.
You two weren't in that bit.
You weren't up here doing what they were doing,
giving, and then giving, and then giving some more.
You're up here just taking.
I got a nutty conquistador helmet on.
Give me some respect.
No. No.
Why the hell aren't you out there in the audience with the others saying,
yes, yes, yeah, we love you for giving.
Get out of here.
The hell out of here.
Get out.
Steve Martin did so many great bits,
but I savor some of the little throwaways,
like when he was promoting the movie The Three Amigos,
he showed some of the merchandise tie-in promotional items.
Yeah, here's a good one.
This is The Visible Amigo.
You can see the sombrero.
You're right.
These seem, if nothing but appropriate.
It's what the public really wants.
Yeah, exactly.
I always liked some of the strange, stilted bits we would do.
It didn't necessarily get laughs from the audience,
but I thought that if people at home were like me,
they'd be savoring them.
For a few months,
we borrowed items on loan
from the American Museum of Natural History.
And why they would go along with this,
I have no idea.
One of the items was a taxidermied manta ray.
At the end of the week,
it gave a farewell speech,
which was narrated by one of our rather shy staffers,
Barbara Sheehan.
Has a week gone by already?
Yes, it certainly has.
I, the largest female rough-tailed stingray
ever caught by an amateur fisherman,
must now return to the museum.
But shed no tears for me.
My life has been a full one.
I am proud of my many offspring,
some of whom I have cannibalized.
And I am honored to have shared a stage
with Alba Ballard and her costumed parents.
But my greatest thrill
is knowing that you like me.
You actually like me.
Thank you.
Okay, bye-bye.
Thank you so much.
It's been a great week.
You can tell by the eyeglasses,
I'm bookish.
I like books.
And we did a segment called Bookmobile
with our scenic designer, Kathleen Anchors,
as the library lady,
and with one of our sage-hands
as gruff but lovable Gus.
Let's look at three bookmobiles that I like.
Oh, here we have another big book.
This one is a really good-selling book this summer.
It's a favorite among history buffs.
It's called Hell on Stilts.
It's the story of the U.S. Army's famous wooden rangers.
The high-walking regiment that broke the back
of Hitler's war machine.
It's...
Library lady, do you know anything about the wooden rangers?
I understand they did very well at Anzio.
Oh, okay.
You know, books on feminism and women's issues
are always of interest,
and here's one with a fresh perspective.
It's called
Women's Be Thinking Too Much
by Ike Turner.
This is a very impressive collection.
One of the most ambitious trilogies ever written
by a cranky old lady.
It's the privately published by Mrs. Edna P. Hessler.
It's the three-volume, 2,000-page
collected complaints of Edna P. Hessler.
Here we have volume number one,
which is called
I Don't Feel Well, I Tell You.
Volume number one.
Volume number two,
Those Damn Neighbor Kids.
And finally,
I think her most riveting work to date,
volume number three,
It's So Terribly Damp.
Now, just back to favorite people,
Paul Reubens as Pee-wee Herman.
All right, see, already you're smiling.
You just hear me say Pee-wee Herman.
He did so many wonderful things.
David Letterman, David Letterman,
David Letterman, David Letterman.
I couldn't figure it out or anything.
What was going on or anything.
So, this guy's right on my butt.
David Letterman, David Letterman, David Letterman, David Letterman, David
Letterman, David Letterman, David Letterman.
We liked having little enhancements at the home base, which means the desk
where Dave sits.
We liked having little enhancements at the home base, which means the desk
where Dave sits.
The ever inventive Randy Cohen suggested we have our own dancing waters, which
are these musical fountains that have colored lights on them.
So, we installed them in front of Dave's desk.
Okay, by the way, for the crew filling in here tonight, after the show, feel
free to come on down here and wash up in the dancing waters.
All right, there was a problem.
The actual dancing waters people threatened us with a lawsuit, and the NBC
lawyers said they had a pretty good case.
But, maybe this is why I was the head writer, I came up with a solution to
simply change the name.
Okay, so we're going to change the name.
You heard it from Charles Kleinbaum.
Good gosh, what else can you do?
So, we can no longer refer to it as the dancing waters.
Heretofore, or here from now on, you understand, it will be known as the prancing
fluids.
Here's a classic bit from a little later on, a couple of years into the show,
but it's where a mystery in the studio
is revealed by stage manager Biff Henderson.
Here we go.
Dear Dave, what's that thing that looks like a fuse box that guests walk by on
the way to your desk?
A big fan, Jim Marshall, Carl Place, Long Island, New York.
I think you're right, if that's what you're talking about, Jim.
I think it's just an old disconnected fuse box.
Is that what it is, Biff, right over there?
Yeah, right, Dave.
I think it's just an old fuse box or something.
That's all it is.
It's just an old fuse box.
Yeah.
You know what, Dave, as a matter of fact, I don't even believe this thing is
hooked up.
No, I don't think so either.
It's just an old, not really anything there.
Oh, my God.
A word that Dave sometimes liked to use was untoward, if something was untoward
or unseemly.
We tried a couple of bits that seemed like, are these good ideas?
Are they strange?
Or are they kind of fun for their, for their unexpectedness?
Here's two bits that involve our announcer, Bill Wendell.
All right, fellas.
Come on, follow me.
There's nothing down here.
This is ridiculous.
Just come along.
There's just one more thing I want you to see, and it's right this way.
Where are you taking this?
Bill, there's nothing, there's nothing down here.
All right.
Hands up.
Let's have your wallets.
Your hands where I can see them.
Bill, what are you talking about?
The wallets right now, both of you.
You too, Paul, and the jewelry.
Come on.
Give me the rings.
The rings?
Billy, are you kidding?
Don't push your luck.
You, Dave, the watch.
Come on, the watch.
Oh, Bill, it's a present from my uncle.
You're breaking my heart, Dave.
Hand it over.
Oh, but Bill, this is crazy.
You'll never get away with this.
Don't make me laugh.
The ID bracelet, too.
Everything.
You think they'll take your word over mine?
I've been an announcer at this network for over 30 years.
Now I'm going downstairs, all right?
Up against the wall.
Both of you, right now, arms spread.
If I hear anything at all, you're in trouble.
Count to 500.
And I'm just going to leave you right here.
If I hear a word, I'm going to let little Betsy do all the talking.
Hey, Dave, are we going for a walk?
Yeah, that's right, Bill.
Give me a favor.
There's a shovel in the back seat.
Get that.
Okay.
And also, there's a gun.
Bring that along.
Sure.
Well, that's it.
Great.
It's all done.
There it is.
Great.
Now what, Dave?
Now, Bill, we're going to let a little daylight through you.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
No, Dave.
Please.
Yep.
Let me ask you one question, Bill.
Yeah?
You ever heard of a TV show called Bloopers and Practical Jokes?
Yeah?
There's the camera right there.
Oh, my gosh.
Come on.
Bring the camera in here.
It was a kitty.
Oh, boy.
Isn't that something?
I was a...
See, the ascent of birds, instead of dwelling on the actual violence, was an
artistic touch.
We might have gotten a Peabody for that one.
How about some actual, genuine, well, kind of genuine art?
Meryl Marko and Dave, they had a couple of dogs.
Meryl had them filmed and provided a narration and a voiceover in the dog's
frame of mind
that was called Dog Poetry.
I should also mention the nation of Bulgaria, then a communist bloc
dictatorship, sponsored
an international humor festival.
We submitted dog poetry and it won a prize.
So Meryl got a big communist trophy from this eastern bloc nation.
Now, from high ideals to quick action, here's a Who Asked For It segment where
an obvious plant in the audience asks for a preposterous favor and Dave grants
it.
Well, Dave, I've seen you a couple of times in the past throw your pencil
through the window behind you and, well, it looks like fun.
I wonder if I could come down and give it a try.
Sure, if I can try out your accent, why not?
Here we go.
Let's give you a pencil right here.
Oh, no, no, no, man.
I didn't mean your wee pencils.
I mean a big man-sized pencil.
A man-sized pencil?
Aye, there you go.
Oh, okay, a man-sized pencil, sure.
How about a drum roll?
Anton, a little drum roll?
That'd be great.
Okay, now don't hurt yourself, for heaven's sake.
Here we go.
Ah, yes, that was me in the kilt.
The endless variation of certain bits that we would try that involved getting a
celebrity to cooperate,
and especially a musical celebrity, were the musical kickoffs to completely
ordinary comedy bits.
We even had super legitimate talents like Henry Mancini compose a theme for us.
The viewer mail theme was written by Henry Mancini, and when it debuted, it was
conducted by him as well.
Now, if I can wrap things up in a way that's sort of inspiring, I'd like to
mention something that writer Jeff Martin,
who's wonderfully musical, as many of the writers were, and Meryl Marko,
I think of her as either the most artistic comedy writer I've ever known, or
the funniest artist.
Anyway, they got together to create, it was supposed to be sort of mock-inspiring.
I find it genuinely inspiring, the Late Night Anthem.
There's a cool breeze blowing, you can feel it cross the land.
It's clear blue