Name: CBS Mailbag: Dave Tries To Save A Fan's Life | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-02-23T16:03:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'CBS Mailbag: Dave Tries To Save A Fan's Life | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'CBS Mailbag: Dave Tries To Save A Fan's Life | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-23. Transcript available.

We open up the CBS mailbag once a week and then we answer letters.
People write them in. A lot of times we get the email.
I prefer the old traditional through the mail kind of, you know,
I like getting mail, you know, that people have licked.
But we get a lot of them through the email and then we set aside some time here
to answer them.
Letter number one, what is the point of the CBS mailbag?
Excellent question, right off the top.
What is the point of the CBS mailbag?
This comes to us from Lauren Hanley, Gainesville, Texas.
Lauren, I'll tell you something.
The point of the CBS mailbag is, and always has been, helping people.
Take a look.
Now he loves reading and he's getting A's and B's.
Look, I can run my fingers through it.
It feels so real.
And things have never been better in the bedroom.
I used to clean houses.
Now I own houses, all from just placing a few tiny classified ads.
I used to be a 260-pound tub of gear.
Now look at me, 250.
Thank you, CBS mailbag.
CBS mailbag.
Helping people is what it's all about.
Helping people.
Lee Ballou here.
Dear Dave, letter number two begins,
I like it when you have big-time celebrities on the show.
Could you have more?
John Reed, Great Neck, New York.
Well, my goodness, John.
We have big-time celebrities coming out of our ears.
In fact, even our cue card boy, Tony Mendez.
Tony, right there.
Tony interviews celebrities from time to time, don't you, Tony?
Right you are, Mr. Letterman.
In fact, it's time for something I call
Tony Mendez's Surprise International Superstar.
Behind that screen is one of the biggest international stars in the world.
Please welcome, Konstantinos Manzucas.
A bag of kisses, that's what I'll give you.
I'll give you many bags of kisses.
I miss you.
I kiss you so well alone.
Wow.
Who the hell was that?
Konstantinos Manzucas.
He's very popular in Cyprus.
Look, I don't tell you how to do your job.
Don't tell me how to do my job.
Wait a minute, there's no point in getting upset about this.
It's not that big a deal.
No point in getting upset about it.
No me diga que me ponga upset.
Pero que siempre te están metiendo todas las cosas que hago yo.
No puedo dar más cosas aquí.
Mira, mira, voy a tirar por ahí.
No quiero saber más.
I have no idea.
He's going to miss Juan Pablo Montoya.
Okay, letter number three, ladies and gentlemen.
Dear Dave, help, I'm hanging by the ledge.
I'm going to fall.
Oh my God, I'm going to die.
Save me, please.
My fingers are slipping.
Hurry, Dave.
Please hurry.
Yours, Kevin Kunthauer.
Dallas, Texas.
What if this isn't a joke?
I better go save this guy's life.
Kevin?
Kevin?
Kevin, are you in there?
Can I help you?
Yeah, Kevin Cunreuther?
Yes?
I just flew all the way from New York City.
Yeah, I thought you were hanging from a ledge.
Oh, that, that letter was just a joke.
A joke?
Paul, was Constantine Masuchus here?
Yeah, how did you know?
I recognize his handiwork.
Uh-huh.
Letter number four, ladies and gentlemen.
Do you have any, uh, do you, uh, dear Dave, do you play any sports?
It says Phil Dean, uh, Vernon, Connecticut.
Well, you know, Phil, uh, take a look at me, you know?
Of course, of course, of course I play sports.
I'm an active sportsman.
In fact, you probably have seen me in the new, uh, Nike commercial.
Here, roll it.
Take a look.
Oh, you are so beautiful.
Don't leave me.
Oh, you are so beautiful.
Oh, you are so beautiful.
Oh, you are so beautiful.
Oh, you are so beautiful.
Thank you.