Name: Jessica Alba Is Definitely Not Creepy | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-03-16T22:05:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jessica Alba Is Definitely Not Creepy | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jessica Alba Is Definitely Not Creepy | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-16. Transcript available.

our first guest uh stars on the very popular television series dark angel
ladies and gentlemen
here's the lovely jessica alba jessica nice to meet you tell us uh tell us
about tell us about
the show was i right it's it's it's creepy it's like a creepy no but i didn't
did i say creepy
you said creepy yeah what's creepy about it only in a very positive way is it
how can creepy be
positive it's it's because it's uh things are different things are different
things are darkly
different well yeah and and and there are dark angels i'm yeah i'm the dark
angel fighting
creepiness am i creepy well no no no no did i no no but it's the view of life
after the apocalypse
right well that's it's called the magnetic pulse that's right sure yeah
and what tell us about the show if it's not creepy it's not creepy it's cool
and uh is it funny is it
a funny show it's not it could be i think it could be funny yeah um you're
probably laughing at us not
with us no no no no um no it's it's a fun show and i you know ride a motorcycle
and do you know kick
people's butts and is there is there danger there's danger is there uncertainty
there's a little uncertainty
yeah there's actually a lot of uncertainty watching the show could perhaps make
you anxious yeah but then
you always but you always know that my character's gonna win in the right that's
what's good and we
have um a wwf girl named lita who comes on and does this move in the finale
episode jim cameron directed
and this uh she's uh she's creepy she's creepy well there you go i knew there
was something creepy about
it she has like long red hair she's coming in and she like walks like this
right and she does this
thing where she what are you looking at just checking the call just checking
with paul
everything's fine hi hi you're not creepy no
no way thank you no way no but you got it so she does this move called the
hurricane orana no
listen to me and you're standing here dave's standing here she gets on this
pole and she jumps
on you and her leg one leg goes here and one leg goes there
no but listen it doesn't stop there that's just the beginning that's just the
beginning
you're not kidding and then she whips herself backwards and body slams you wow
so she ends up
on her stomach now what does that cost
it's not cheap no i wouldn't think it would be certainly not uh but she does it
to my character
oh she does it to you yeah oh how do you get out of a thing like that forever
well my character's
genetically engineered so she just rolls right out of it now uh well tell us
now tell us about yourself
where are you where you're from you're just a kid right you're like 20 years
old or something yep
i'll be 21 and on sunday where are you from oh really happy birthday thank you
you have a big birthday planned um party i'm having i'm having a party but uh i
don't really
want to and say there's going to be lots of people there because that means you're
afraid i'll show
up you can come oh really yeah well what are you going to do what's the agenda
it's just my
birthday what do you mean well are you are you like going to disney world are
you gonna
uh marine land i mean are you going anywhere for it i'm going to a restaurant i'll
be 21 not 12.
right right oh no i thought you were going to las vegas or something oh i'm
going to vegas on
friday well that's great but i'm not 21 on friday so it's sort of a tease
because like you're 21 in
two days but you can't you can't gamble in las vegas until you're 21 21 yeah
yeah uh and what what
will you be doing in las vegas then if you're not gambling i'm going to an oasis
concert oh well there now
you're talking that's something to do isn't it yeah yeah you're looking forward
to that yeah and after
after the concert well then you go back to l.a back to l.a and then your party
begins yeah yeah it's pretty
good yeah
you know we had to we're going to have the big uh uh general motors dog
challenge i know i know it was
a pedigree yeah wasn't it pedigree and did you like do you have dogs i don't
have any dogs although
i think they're the only animals that uh should be allowed around humans i don't
like other animals
you don't like your other animals what what's the what's the to use another
phrase what's the creepiest
animal uh that you like uh you like dogs i like dogs what are creepy i hate rodents
rodents are
trouble oh we got this this city was just being we're knee deep in rats yeah
yeah it's awful i don't
like i don't like um cats because i'm allergic to them and i don't like snakes
i don't like any
reptiles at all and a snake um peed in a scene one time and it had a white like
white placenta came out
it was gross it looked like white placenta their pee smells like formaldehyde
it was that's why i don't
like reptiles i'm sorry i know you don't like bodily function no i sure that's
fine if you continue to
elaborate because i think what we crave now is more detail i'm sorry uh uh cat
yeah but you don't have a dog why don't you you think you might get it no i
want a dog i want a
french bulldog yeah a french bulldog what do they what do they look like i
thought you're gonna say
they're like they're they're like uh regular bulldogs except they're small
because i can take it on a
plane oh yeah and so uh yeah good but they're they're not yappers they're not yappers
i don't like
yappy dogs when do you think you might get the dog june or july oh that'll be
nice and what will you
call doggy sid sid that's pretty good yeah and uh what what other things do you
do for fun in your
life are you do you have a boyfriend are you engaged i am engaged oh you see
what's wrong with that well i think the audience is uh you know vicariously
they were thinking oh yeah
like you got a shot but you know what i mean well tell us about the tell us
about the lucky young
man how old is he he's 33 33. you don't like younger women that's right that's
right i i just don't know
what it is about younger women i've just never um hey well how did you meet the
gentleman i hired him
what are you talking about on the show oh on the show he's on the show yeah oh
did you start dating
right away yeah pretty much yeah and what i thought he i thought he was married
at first so i didn't go
near him and then when i found out he wasn't then i found out he wasn't yeah
and uh and you say you
probably get married then we are going to get when are you going to get married
in a year so i'll be
engaged for two years that's a long time yeah yeah that's a good and he's uh he
what what things do you
do you do for fun do you play golf do you go hunting i love to play golf i'm
not very good though but i
love to play is he a good golfer he's a really good golfer i like to play golf
and read books and sleep
wow very exciting for an almost 21 year old yeah and uh and what what will you
do right after the
show here tonight i will be getting on a plane going off for your birthday
going off for my first vegas
then that's right yeah well it was a pleasure meeting you thank you and adam
and then uh good luck on the
birthday and good luck on the upcoming wedding as well thank you nice to have
you here jessica alba everybody