Name: Taylor Swift Loves New York, Not Lousy Boyfriends | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-03-20T14:52:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Taylor Swift Loves New York, Not Lousy Boyfriends | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Taylor Swift Loves New York, Not Lousy Boyfriends | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-20. Transcript available.

Our first guest is a seven-time Grammy award-winning singer and songwriter who
sold over 30 million albums.
30 million albums, for the love of God.
30 million. Her brand new CD is entitled 1989.
Here she is. Welcome back to the program, the lovely, delightful Taylor Swift.
Taylor, come on up.
Oh, yeah. Welcome back.
It's going to be back.
Good to see you.
Yeah, I am.
Yeah, that's right.
The crowd goes crazy.
How are you?
Taylor Swift.
You know, um...
Okay, thank you.
I, uh...
I was...
Yeah, I like that.
But I want you to realize some of that's for me.
I know.
I was assuming that.
Listen, you know, we were, uh, getting ready to talk to you this afternoon, and
we, we put up the video, I think one of you, last time you were here, and you
did one of those, uh, uh, internet shows after the show here?
Yes, the internet shows.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it was just stunning.
Thank you.
I mean, beautiful.
Uh, it sounded wonderful, and it was reminiscent of real show business. You
know, they had everything
you want in, uh, performance glamour, lovely music, beautiful woman, it was
great.
Thank you.
Wow.
It's an amazing compliment.
I love the idea of show business. I, I love, um, you know, making a big deal
out of putting
out an album and getting to dress up and the whole thing. It's, it's amazing to,
to be a
songwriter and then to get to put on performances. I was just told that the,
the new, uh, album
has already sold, like, 600,000 copies or something. Yeah, in 24 hours. In 24
hours.
Freaking hours.
I'm, like, I'm, like, always about a half step away from crying, like, at any
point.
And it's named 1989, and this is the other thing that, uh, uh, I'm about to cry.
It's
named 1989 because you were born in 1989.
Yeah.
Born in 1989.
Yeah.
I have ties older than you.
I knew you were gonna do this.
I knew.
I knew you were gonna make the tie joke.
Yeah.
You got to.
Uh, well, I mean, things are great, aren't they? And you're in New York City
and you're,
like, the official, uh, welcome to New York kid. What do you do for New York?
Is that,
you get money for that, aren't you?
No, I don't get any money for it, but the, I have a song called Welcome to New
York.
Perfect.
And I recently moved to New York, and so the city named me the welcome
ambassador for tourism,
which I thought was really nice of them.
Now, when you moved, you moved from where did you move?
I moved from Nashville to New York.
Nashville to New York, and you originally are from Pennsylvania?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How long did you live in Nashville?
Um, I lived in Nashville for 10 years.
Nice town.
Yeah, it's amazing.
Great music.
Um.
Great musicians.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's incredible.
Now, here you are in New York City.
Yeah.
And you got a house, an apartment, where you stay in the Y. What are you doing?
I have an apartment in Tribeca.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Very nice.
I'm really excited about it.
Big, big place?
Yeah, it's nice.
It's good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's really good.
It's kind of like one of those where you wake up and you're like, I live here,
huh?
Yeah.
How long have you been in the place?
Um, I've been, so I've been, like, obsessing over moving to New York for a year,
but I didn't
find the perfect place till, like, winter last year.
And, um, so I've been there ever since, and I had the most amazing summer here,
and just
all my friends are here now.
Now, two things on that.
First of all, let's not give people the wrong impression.
There is no perfect place to live in New York City.
Just get that right out of your heads.
That ain't gonna happen.
Now, the other thing is, the first couple of days you wake up and, oh, my God,
here I am.
I'm living in New York City.
That's a nice feeling, isn't it?
It's an amazing feeling.
And the thing is, like, as soon as I moved there, when I love something, I'm
very, very
vocal about it.
Me too.
Yeah.
So, everywhere I would go.
Did you hear me talking about M&Ms?
Exactly right.
So, you're really a cheerleader for New York now.
Yeah.
Anytime I talk to anyone or anytime I do an interview, I was just like, "You
don't understand!
You have to go there now!
You have to go to New York!
Just drop what you're doing!
You have to go there!
It's amazing!
It's the greatest place ever!"
And I think the city, like, I guess, picked up on that.
And they're like, "She's the most enthusiastic, obnoxious person to ever love
New York.
She loves it with, like, 18 exclamation points afterward."
Underline.
But it's nice.
It's really nice.
You know, New York City is flattered by your presence and your enthusiasm for
the city itself.
That's good.
I thank New York City for that.
Now, do you still, uh, I remember I tried to encourage you to write a snarky
song about
our relationship, but you, I don't remember hearing that.
Do you still do that sort of thing?
Um, I would never write a snarky song about our relationship.
You're, like, my favorite person to talk to.
Oh, God bless her, ladies and gentlemen.
I swear.
It's very sweet.
I have this picture on my phone of us, like, pounding it.
Mm-hmm.
And it's, like, my favorite.
It's, it's, it's saved to my phone, so.
Good for you.
You only have so much storage in your phone.
I, I, I kind of feel like when you come by, it's just to drop in on the elderly.
See how they are.
Better go, better go check on Dave.
So they can make jokes about how their ties are older than you.
Yeah.
God.
Uh, but, uh, now, but you, you don't do that anymore because it always, uh,
ended up working
the wrong way, didn't it?
I don't write snarky songs about relationships.
Yeah, about old boyfriends and stuff, lousy boyfriends.
Well, I mean, I just haven't really had any lousy boyfriends in the last year
and a half.
Is he?
It's been good.
Is he?
I'm not, uh, I've never dated guys.
Yeah.
But, but looking around, I would think it would be hard to find a decent guy.
Because guys just generally are jerks.
I just kind of, I'm just not really looking around for them, at them, shopping.
Mm-hmm.
I'm not doing any of that.
So, I...
You know what, uh, you and, uh, Lena Dunham are buddies now.
We are.
My friends have...
How did that happen?
Uh, well, actually, Lena, I, I was watching Girls when it first came out about
two years
ago, and I just thought she's so empowering.
This person writes, directs, stars in this incredible show.
And so, I went out and I did what you do when you are interested in someone.
I, like, Googled her and went to her Twitter, and the first thing I saw was her
quoting my
lyrics.
Mm-hmm.
And at first, I thought, um, like, that has to be, she has to be doing that
ironically.
Like, she's clearly making fun of me because I have this big, like, loser
complex from school.
Oh, really?
Um, but it turned out she was following me, and it was completely unironic, and
she actually
liked my music.
And she direct messaged me, and she said, we need to be best friends.
I feel like you've been my best friend in my head for months and almost years
now, so I
need to see you in person, and then I will lavish you with compliments in
person.
Whoa.
And she did, she did do that.
That's amazing.
Yeah, so we've been best friends ever since.
So there, there must have been a connection there, the transcendent of, of show
business,
because that's, that's a pretty immediate, pretty urgent request to be buddies.
I think we both, since we're both writers, first, um, she writes the show.
Mm-hm.
Um, she writes her show, and I write my music, and everything we do stems from
that creative
process.
We have a lot to relate to each other on, and we're also both way enthusiastic
about everything.
Well, you know, why not?
Why not?
Because, uh, if the world, uh, doesn't need a little enthusiasm, what does it
need for
God's sake?
You know what I mean?
Exactly!
Now, here's another thing, uh, I used to do as well.
You invite, uh, your fans, uh, to your home.
Did you really used to do that?
Just trying to make myself seem better person.
But how does that work?
How many, I mean, do you, how, how do you get selected?
Okay, so this was a thing that I thought of called the 1989 secret sessions.
Mm-hm.
And what I decided was I want to play my entire new album for fans before it
comes out.
Like, months before it comes out.
It's a listening party.
It's a listening party.
And so I decided just the most logical thing to do would just be to have them
come over anywhere
and where I had a house and just hang out in the living room and play them the
album.
Mm-hm.
Um, and so...
What was the screening process?
It was like...
How did one qualify to come sit in your living room?
Well, it was like 89 people in each house that I have.
So, that was L.A., New York, Rhode Island, Nashville, and then we, in my hotel
room in London.
Um, but yeah, the screening process was like, like a girl taking a selfie and I
can see she's got my poster in the background
and she writes me a cute comment on Instagram or, you know, somebody saying, "I've
been to five shows. I've never met you before."
None of these people who came to the secret sessions had ever met me.
So, I wanted to meet them in sort of a situation where they never felt rushed.
They weren't waiting outside being pushed.
But did they come, were they, I mean, was there, were their parents there?
Were, were, was there security there?
If they were under 18, then they could bring their parents.
They could bring their parents.
Which was hilarious.
Yeah.
And, and, and, uh, this sounds great, but how do you get them out of there?
Well, we would, we would spend like, it was like dinner and then I'd play them
the album.
Dinner?
And I'd tell them stories.
You fixed, you fixed them dinner?
You have to feed people at a, at a party that's gonna last five hours.
Oh my God.
But the, the coolest thing.
You are Mother Teresa.
You are Mother Teresa.
Well, listen.
Here we go.
Uh, later in the program, uh, a song, uh, with, uh, from the new album, 1989.
Yes.
We're very excited that you're here.
Oh, look at that beautiful cover.
There, there, there you are.
Oh, you like that?
Thank you.
Yeah, very nice.
Uh, Taylor Swift, ladies and gentlemen.