Name: Michael Jordan Chopped Off His Big Toe | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-04-03T15:07:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Michael Jordan Chopped Off His Big Toe | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Michael Jordan Chopped Off His Big Toe | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-03. Transcript available.

You had only to watch the Bulls game last night to be reminded of what a
phenomenal athlete our next guest is.
Here now, take a look at this videotape. Michael Jordan scoring some of his 44
points.
This man was the NBA's most viable player and impressive player of the year in
1988.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome just possibly the greatest basketball
player in the world today, Michael Jordan right here.
Michael.
Michael, are you in this, Ben? Michael Jordan.
How you doing?
Here's Arnie Banks.
There's Arnie, it's over there.
All right.
So, what, uh, help us out here.
Where do you guys go for a, you're close to eliminating Cleveland, and then
what happens?
If you knock Cleveland out.
Well, if you knock Cleveland out tomorrow, we'll probably go to New York on
Saturday morning.
Uh-huh.
Any predictions about the outcome of that series?
No, no predictions.
Yeah.
Uh, any predictions about the MVP in the league this year?
No.
Okay.
No.
You know, I find this hard to believe, and I guess the last time you were on
the program a couple of years ago, this was explained to me, and maybe we've
been chatted about it, but in high school, the first time you went out for the
team, you did not make the basketball team.
I was cut.
Cut why?
I wasn't that good.
I was about 5'10", and I really couldn't make a layup and two gum at the same
time.
But, you know, I thought I should have been on the team, though.
Yeah.
So, that was your freshman year.
That was my freshman year.
What happened to your sophomore year?
Well, I barely made a team.
I didn't start to play until middleweight of the season, and the same guy who
cut me became my head coach.
Now he works at my camp, and I give him the dirty jobs.
So, so what do you, do you just own Chicago?
Is that the deal?
No.
No.
But I love that tour that you had.
You are a very wealthy young man.
How old a guy are you?
I'm 26.
26 years old.
And this is a great town to be a basketball star in, isn't it?
Well, they need to win.
And if you win, they appreciate it a lot.
Did you, and when you were a kid growing up, what part of the country are you
from?
I'm from Wilmington, North Carolina.
So, you're out one day, you're chopping wood.
Now, is this a true story?
You're actually chopping wood, and what happens?
Well, I was being bad, first of all.
My parents told me not to mess with the axe.
So, I'm out chopping wood.
So, they tell you, don't go out there to chop wood.
The first thing you do is...
Don't bother the axe.
You're too young to be playing with the axe.
It's a very dangerous instrument.
How old were you?
I was about, I'd say, five.
Five, yeah.
Six is about to cut off.
Six and above, you can play with the axe.
When I'm playing with the axe, I don't have any shoes on.
Oh, my.
Being from the country, you know, you don't wear shoes outside.
So, I'm chopping little bits and pieces of wood, and being hard-headed, and I
accidentally
missed the wood, and I caught half of my big toe.
Wow.
All right.
So, now, you got an emergency here.
Well, it was an emergency.
You know, here I am, a little kid, five years old.
I'm yelling, screaming, don't know what to do.
Right.
So, I run home, and my mother and my father say, well, let's go down and see
this lady who
was supposed to be the neighborhood doctor.
Somebody who knows everything about emergencies.
Well, I've never seen a certificate, so I don't know if she's a doctor or not.
But the first thing she does is, well, we need to do something to take away the
pain.
Yeah.
So, she pours kerosene over my toe.
Kerosene.
On my toe.
Yeah.
Now, did that take...
It took away the pain.
Yeah, I would guess so.
But I remember that as the first thing that really happened to me.
So, it's amazing.
As a young kid, if this had been a worse accident, you might not have even been
able to walk, and
now, you're like the greatest basketball player.
Well, you know, it's...
The crowd loves a good, inspirational story, don't they?
They love it.
Who knows, though?
But every time I fall on that, my father keeps telling me, you shouldn't have
played with
that axe.
No.
Do you have brothers and sisters?
I have two brothers and two sisters.
Are you the tallest one in the family?
Not as tall?
How does that work?
I'm the tallest.
My father is about 5'10".
My mother is about 5'5".
Whoa.
Everyone else is about 5'6 1⁄2", 5'7".
The milkman is about 6'7".
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
My father is backstage.
I didn't mean that possible.
Certainly, I'm proud to have that set out here.
No, he knows.
I kid with him about it all the time.
So, now, when you're playing, you're very demonstrative with your tongue, right?
I don't know what I'm doing.
Yeah.
It's a habit that I've gotten from my father who I really get to him about,
give me a bad
habit.
But I just can't get rid of it.
Yeah.
So, anyway, do you guys have a shot at winning the title or is it going to be
tough in New York?
Oh, we got a shot.
Got a shot?
It may be slim, but we have a shot.
And then, let's say you do win the title, or let's say maybe you don't win the
title, whatever.
Then your off-season begins.
What kind of things do you do in the off-season?
Things?
Yeah.
A theme.
What kind of thing do you do?
You play a lot of golf.
A lot of golf.
It's a pleasure to see you again.
Congratulations on all your success.
It would be nice to see you all the way.
Michael Jordan, ladies and gentlemen, will be right back here.
We're not done for another night.
Guys, it's been a lot of fun.
Michael, thank you very much for being here.
My thanks also to Lou Reed and Jay Leno.
Have a good night, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll see you tomorrow.
Thank you very much.
We'll see you tomorrow.