Name: Dave's Update On Donald Trump | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-04-04T22:01:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Update On Donald Trump | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Update On Donald Trump | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-04. Transcript available.

Hello! I'm Barbara Gaines. This is Mary Barkley and Dave.
Hi, Barbara. Nice to see you.
Hi, Barbara.
Thank you for having us back on the show.
So great to have you both. I thought we were canceled.
Oh, had you been canceled?
I thought so, but I think we're back.
Oh, well, that's good news, I guess.
Yeah.
It was just a hiatus, right?
I guess so. I think it was a hiatus.
I can't believe anybody's watching anyway.
Well, that's true.
Yeah.
Hey, here's a little update.
I just got back from visiting President Trump in his cell.
He's fine. He's doing great.
And he mentioned to me, to mention to all of you folks,
keep the money flowing in.
But so far, he's a model prisoner.
That's great.
Yeah, good to hear.
That is good to hear.
Did you see they let him out of the courtroom
and his hands zip-tied in front of him
because they couldn't have cuffs to fit his big, fat wrists?
Big, puffy wrists.
So they had to zip-tie him.
But he's fine.
He said to say hi to everybody.
You guys go way back, you and Trumpy.
Yeah, he used to be on the show all the time.
All the time.
That was pre-presidential Trumpy.
And now he's a convict Trumpy.
Michael Cohn used to yell at some of our staff.
Yeah, he would call up and threaten our staff.
That's right.
Those were the days.
That was fun.
Yeah.
And you would call him a slumlord?
Yes, we'd tease him about being a slumlord.
He would just laugh and laugh and laugh.
Turned out it was all true.
Yeah.
Turns out that was the least of his.
That was the least of his problems, yeah.
Let's talk about something that's not political.
Here's something.
People like a respite from politics.
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is coming up sometime whenever it comes up.
And this year, Warren Zevon is on the ballot.
Now, Warren Zevon was part of our show, generously part of our show.
He would sometimes, he was always a guest, and he would sometimes fill in for
Paul Schaefer,
who we were also lucky to have.
And I've been hoping and wishing and not quite understanding why Warren Zevon
heretofore
had not been on the ballot.
But this year, he is on the ballot.
And I understand, like certain states in America, you can vote as many times as
you want.
So don't be bashful about voting for Warren Zevon.
And his music is wonderful.
The musicality of it and the lyrics, delightful.
And it would be great to have him in the Hall of Fame.
So I just vote.
Can you put a thing?
Yeah, where do you vote?
Yeah, put a thing on there where you vote.
I vote in the firehouse near my home.
A link to the thing.
Yeah, that should definitely happen.
Yeah, it'd be great for Warren and his son and his whole family.
And I know a lot of people love Warren.
What's not to love?
Yeah, it's not just me, for God's sake.
No, no, not just you.
And the other thing, I recently came upon something called Notes.
From a Changing Planet.
And it's a climate-changing, weather-changing newsletter.
And you make a donation.
It can be a nickel.
It can be $100.
It can be nothing.
And you get the newsletter, Notes from a Changing Planet.
I think you'll appreciate that.
Put the thing for that, too.
A thing for the thing.
And then also, are we still running that scheme where we sell jackets and stuff?
Well, we're going to do a new one.
We were nominated for a Webby.
We're so excited.
I'm very excited.
You?
Well, I couldn't be happier for you guys.
I think that's just great.
The Barbara Gaines Show.
You get a Webby, and then you start getting viewers.
Yeah, it's not for the Barbara Gaines Show.
It's for the site.
And you could vote for that.
Please vote for that.
Vote.
Oh, you know, I was on the Jimmy Kimmel show.
Oh, yes, you were.
I saw that.
Talk about people who know how to do a show.
These Kimmel people, God bless them.
They really, and it's so friendly.
You go out there, and you're nervous, and you're worried, and they're just
friendly.
And I don't get any of that here.
I don't get a sense of any friendliness here.
But they're like in the business of making you feel comfortable.
And then they put out a nice show.
You don't think Mary and I make you feel comfy?
No, I feel intimidated.
Yes, this conversation is making me sweat a little.
Ew.
I don't think anybody wanted to hear that.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, I'll tell you what.
Okay.
Laughter is the best medicine.
You hear that all the time?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Listen to this.
Unless your problem is broken ribs.
Hey!
Because, ow!
Nurse!
Ow!
Oh, and I was on one of those podcasts.
Dax Shepard.
Oh, I heard that, too.
Yeah.
I'm all over listening to you.
They were very nice.
They were very nice.
Yeah, that guy was very nice.
Very nice.
Very fun.
And Monica.
And they made me feel welcome, and I barely know those people.
Yeah, they were both very nice.
Yeah, they did a nice job.
Oh, here's the story.
One time, there's a podcast out there called Loser, Clueless.
Smartless.
Smartless.
Ah, Loser.
Yeah.
And I did it, oh, jeez, right around the turn of the century.
It was...
How long ago was it?
December of 2021, maybe?
Yeah, that's right.
So, that's, do the math.
We're coming up, it's over two years now, right?
No.
A year in...
It'll be two years in December.
Yeah.
We had to go to Brooklyn for this on a Saturday night, and it was people I like,
people I
really like, and nothing, nothing.
What do you mean, nothing?
It just hasn't been a good idea.
Where is it?
Yeah, no, they want to keep it fresh.
I mean, it's rotting on the shelf somewhere.
Oh, I see what you mean.
So, I thought the deal with the podcast...
It's a TV podcast, so that's extra special.
I'm sure that's why it's taking so long, because they filmed it for TV.
Yeah, they had the...
TV goes against TV, internet TV...
Well, you raise a good point.
Should I sue them?
I don't think...
No, I don't think you should sue them.
I don't think you paid them.
I don't know that there's any...
Well, I'm just disappointed.
I don't think this is a matter for the court.
I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed.
Everybody loves those SmartList guys, though.
I love them, too.
It doesn't sound like it.
I didn't know we were pretending.
Sounds like you're at war.
No, no, we're not at war, but I just wish they had said to me,
Oh, by the way, Dave, this is a practical joke on...
Or this is a practical joke on...
So, just play along.
I'd have been all in.
I was all in.
I thought it was a real thing, but...
I think it's coming.
I think you'll be able to see it on your TV.
I mean, but we were talking about stuff two and a half years ago.
Yeah, but they made it like a non-topical.
It's evergreen, as they say.
Oh, evergreen.
But nobody said, aren't you surprised that it's taken two and a half years to
get it out?
I'm just trying to help out the SmartList kids here.
Anyway, it was so great to see you both.
Are we done?
We're so done.
I'm still thinking of stories.
I know, we'll do that for the next one.
Well, I may not think of it.
The next one?
Yeah.
Well, it was great to see you both.
A two-parter.
I'm so glad we're not canceled.
And we'll see you again soon.
Check the ratings.
Yeah, check those ratings.
Goodbye.
Thank you.