Name: Dave's Mad Monkey Tea Party | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-04-05T15:10:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Mad Monkey Tea Party | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Mad Monkey Tea Party | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-05. Transcript available.

Our first guest tonight has come all the way from her home in Las Vegas to be
with us.
So ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to this program, Rina Smaha and her
friends.
Folks, come on out.
Hi, Rina, how are you? Nice to see you.
Come on, let's go.
Want me to have some music?
Hey, come on.
Okay, break, break, break, break, break, break.
Come on back.
Okay, very good, that's good.
Bravo, come on.
All right.
Pull the other way, yeah.
All right, get up here.
Come on, bring it up here.
All right.
Okay.
That's right.
Okay, sit down.
Say hi to everybody.
Hi, y'all out there.
Okay, no, wait a moment here.
He's not delivering flan, is he?
Not yet.
Pick it up there.
What, uh, what a drink.
Here we go.
What?
Huh?
What?
Okay, whatever you want.
All right, here we go.
Come on.
You too, huh?
All right.
Oh, I love it, I love it.
Bravo.
Very good.
Say, take a bow, you dizzy little ding-a-ling.
Very good.
Spanish, thank you.
Okay.
Yes, David.
Why don't you tell us what we have here?
Okay, what we're having here.
It's not a dog and a cat, is it?
No, this is a rhesus monkey.
This is Sandy.
She's five years old.
Hi, Sandy.
How are you?
Is it all right to touch Sandy?
Yes, of course.
You can go ahead.
Hi, how are you?
Yes.
Sandy, why don't you go get your chair down there?
Oh!
Oh!
I'm going to get your chair down here, and I'm going to get your chair down
there.
Let's see you to me out there.
Yeah.
Sandy?
Give me your hand.
Stay over there.
Bring it up here.
Bring it up here.
Good.
Okay.
Now, Max, you want to sit here?
Oh, you too, huh?
Okay.
Now, uh...
Sit down.
All right?
Now, you know...
We have the party later.
Oh, yeah.
I see.
Okay.
And quite a party it'll be, too.
Okay.
But now, Rena, why exactly the...
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Well, as you can see...
David...
Sandy...
Now, what's the deal on...
Why is that animal so obviously upset?
No, she's not upset.
What she is, is totally surprised and madly in love with you.
So, come on over here, and let's get a patty on her as soon as she comes to...
Yeah, I want that on the coroner's report.
Look here.
Watch, watch.
See?
Uh-huh.
She's loving.
And Maxine loves her, too.
Max?
Yeah, you want to hug and love him, too?
Go ahead.
Come on.
What the heck?
Come on.
Now, she's...
Don't let her do that.
Oh, what you going to do?
No.
Okay.
She says, come on, she says, look.
I got a lot.
I'm going to pat her, pat her on the back.
Around the back.
Yeah.
Very nice.
Thank you.
Okay.
Okay.
Now, David, why don't you help us and assist us here with a little bit of fun?
We're going to do a little sharp shooting.
Do they get along pretty well together?
Very well together.
We all get along well together.
That's right.
You take the gun.
All right.
It's only a prop.
It's a toy gun.
There are no bullets in here.
Yet.
Come on over here.
We'll sit down right here.
Stand right there.
Now, I'm going to place this candle on the top of Max's head, so pick it up
there, kid.
How old is Max?
Max is about eight years old.
How old will he get?
Does he live to a nice old age?
He will live to be about 25 or 30 years old.
Depending on how it goes here tonight?
Now, on the count of three, you will turn around and shoot the candle from the
flame.
At the count of three, I'll turn around and...
Okay.
Okay.
Ready?
Now, one, two, and three.
Turn around and shoot the candle.
Oh, wait a moment.
Oh, sorry.
Try it again.
Okay.
Ready?
You ready now, Max?
Let's go.
Ready?
It's been one of those nights.
Okay.
Ever since the...
Come here, Max.
Come over here.
Come here.
Max, come here.
Come here.
Come here.
Come here.
Listen, you lost it.
You've got to go find it.
It's got to be somewhere around here.
We've got to be...
It's so hot.
Sit down.
Oh, isn't...
You have a little...
That's cute.
I don't believe we're funny.
A little tail light.
All right, let's forget that business.
Let's forget that.
Come on over here.
They're mandatory on the 87s, you know.
You have to have that on the...
I'm going to do the party later.
Right now.
Jeez!
Right now.
Come on over here, David.
We'll try and hypnotize this monkey.
See if that works.
Come on over here.
Now, I want you to stand in front of me right here.
All right.
Offer your hand to Sandy.
Okay.
Paul, are you busy?
I'll be just over here.
I'll try this one more time.
We're going to come over here.
I think the animal senses that I'm...
Offer your hand to Sandy.
I'm a little nervous tonight.
Nothing's going right.
And I'm a little nervous.
Offer your hand to the lady like a gentleman.
Hey!
Oh!
She's...
I'm like, you're a big man.
It's a little monkey.
She's going to...
She won't hurt you.
She's going to leap at me and pull a vein out of my neck and kill me.
No.
I won't let her do that.
Okay.
Hold your hand out there.
Let her touch it.
Pick it up.
Sandy, pick it up.
Be nice.
All right.
We're good.
Okay.
Stand up here.
We'll stand here.
Now, hypnotizer from this point.
I'm going to go wait for the Brazilian guy.
I'll be...
Max?
Sleep.
Sandy?
Sleep.
What is that?
Don't be silly.
Come on.
Get down there.
What is that baloney?
All right.
Let's forget it and go on to the tea party.
You want to go on to the tea party?
Go get the tea party.
We're going on to the tea party.
Forget it.
Come on.
Let's get a tea party up here.
Gosh, what a charming animal.
Yeah.
Glad you're still thinking, kid.
All right.
I'll be right over here.
Now, here.
I'll tell you what, David.
We're going to let you try this.
You want to take the drink and I'll let you serve the drinks.
All right.
I'll be serving the drinks.
Place a couple of glasses out here.
Open the bottle.
That's right.
And pour a little bit over there.
Maybe you'll get some.
Maybe you won't.
Oh, jeez.
Dirty little.
Yeah.
Okay.
Now, sit it down.
Go.
Street hit.
Behave.
All right.
Here we go.
All right.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
Not you.
You'll get it.
You'll get it.
I'll just pour a little in Max's glass.
There.
That's right.
Pour a little bit in Sandy's glass quietly.
Pour it in Max's glass.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
Pour a little bit in Max's glass.
That's good enough.
You know, it's all my fault.
I'm just a little jumpy today.
I'm sorry.
That's right.
And I think the animal senses that I'm uncomfortable.
I'll tell you what.
We're going to make you stand over there while we share this banana.
All right.
In peace.
Wait a minute.
Do we all get bananas?
Okay.
Now the small piece for you guys and the biggest piece is, oops, is mine.
Okay.
All right.
Put it there.
Good.
You know, you know, Rena, we have...
Yes.
Okay.
Now, Sandy, you went a little bit...
Please.
Don't start that a little bit.
Here we go.
Sandy, you went a little piece of paper.
They make wonderful pets.
They're great with infants.
I don't believe it.
Rena, we have to go.
I'm sorry.
All right.
Let's go.
Thank you for bringing the kids in.
Nice meeting you, too.
All right.
We'll be right back.