Name: Denis Leary Won't Stop Smoking | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-04-07T23:01:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Denis Leary Won't Stop Smoking | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Denis Leary Won't Stop Smoking | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-07. Transcript available.

our next guest is the uh fast talking uh chain smoking spoke person for nike
and uh also mtv
as well his one-man show is entitled no cure for cancer and it premieres on
showtime saturday night
ladies and gentlemen please welcome mr energy dennis leary dennis that's it
nice to meet you
nice to meet you dave thank you very much for being here a couple of months ago
i'm sitting
at home and i saw the i guess the first of the the series of the nike
commercials that you do
man those get your attention they just stop you cold whatever you're doing and
you're quite a
presence those have been very successful i guess for you and the company yeah i
guess so yeah they
liked them good so it's a highlight for me to meet uh bo jackson and deon sanders
because i'm a huge
baseball fan so that was a big thing for me now the other thing i know about
you is you smoke a lot of
cigarettes you do you mind if i smoke oh please help yourself you're a guy who
enjoys pounding the butts
pretty hard yep so is it is it a good idea is it a conflict for for you to be
smoking and also
selling athletic equipment so i don't know like they i didn't smoke in the
commercials right toothpick
so but as a person who smokes do they mind you representing their company uh i
hope not yeah
because i'm still smoking yeah and i'm not wearing sneakers right now so well
there you go yeah so
it's pretty much free and clear it's uh free form yeah they didn't mind it and
i actually would have
loved to be able to smoke in it i used to smoke when i played baseball really
you know i actually don't
play baseball that much i'm a softball guy so i think that's something we need
to straighten out in this
country right now the difference between baseball and softball i think baseball
i'm a baseball fan
baseball is not the national pastime let's be honest softball is the game you
play i play these
people play i think softball is just baseball with beer let's face the facts
you betcha yeah that's why they make the ball so big so you can see it when you're
drunk you know
i mean when i say i'm a baseball fan i'm actually kind of lying because i'm a
red sox fan so it's not
the same thing whole different deal isn't it yeah most people when baseball
season gets ready like
spring training starts baseball fans go this could be the year for my team and
we go what's going to
happen this year yeah being a red sox fan it's kind of like driving up on an
accident on the highway
it's that same feeling of like wow is there a dead guy what happened here you
know that's
that's our feeling they've they've lost every world series appearance and i
think we're only talking
about two aren't we no we're talking since 1918 when they traded babe ruth to
the yankees so that
the owner could produce the musical no no nanette that's what happened the
owner took the money from
babe ruth and produced no no nanette so i haven't been able to see a musical my
whole life but
since i grew up 67 we lost seven games in the world series 75 we lost seven
games in a world series
78 we lost in a playoff game to the yankees when a guy named bucky dent a human
sound effect hit a
home run in 86 the sixth game of the world series against the mets and people
go why is your work
so angry i go ask bill buckner i mean you know um
some yankee fans in the audience have you ever thought about uh giving up the
cigarettes well
here's another pet peeve of mine my sister's a nurse so i wish non-smokers
would accept the fact
that we're going to smoke my sister's one of these people every day nicotine
gum came out a few years
ago she's like why don't you try the gum now the patch came out why don't you
try the patch so i have
a new system for smokers okay get the patch put it on chew up a box of that nicotine
gum and light up
that's the biggest head rush you'll ever have in your life oh it's it's great i'm
wearing a patch
right now as a matter of fact i i have a feeling you're you're going to be
getting a call from the
surgeon general i just a personal call do you do anything to take care of
yourself well exercise
other than the softball i sleep yeah well there you go i play uh i play hockey
actually yeah i'm
a big hockey that's a great sport great sport best sport hockey's the best
sport because there's no
messing around no kidding around you don't like somebody in hockey you drop
your gloves and beat
the crap out of them right there yeah they got a special box and have a couple
minutes have a rest
drink of water come back out whenever you're ready i think that's a great idea
i think we should apply
that to real life i think everybody should have a penalty box at their jobs
okay you know you don't
like your boss beat the crap out of them take a five-minute penalty you know we
kind of have a
penalty box in the form of the uh federal and state prison system kind of i
never thought of it in a
larger sense strictly speaking right uh guys sitting there going what am i
getting out five minutes
what's the deal so now now that people uh know who you are and they know your
work and uh of course
your uh one-man show on on showtime are you are you surround are you you find
you're hanging around
with uh uh more notable folks in show business does that surprise you a little
that suddenly you're
there it functions with these guys well i i did the uh the only time it
happened for me i did the video
music awards for mtv with uh uh cindy crawford who i met oh good gig yeah yeah
absolutely and she uh
she was she's great and so i thought mick jagger was there and eric clapton
were there and i would
two of my heroes and said you don't get any bigger no that's that's big yep so
i thought i'm gonna
maybe run into these guys this would be great so i'm sitting at a table in the
green room a big white
table with uh like five white chairs around it it's like me and three of my
friends and and we're just
hanging out waiting to meet you know eric clapton and mick jagger and john claude
van damme walks up
and grabs the empty white chair and goes is this chair busy and uh and my
friend chris phillips who
was sitting next to me goes if it was plaid it would be busy and he got this
look on his face like
and then he took the chair yeah that's what you want to irritate the martial
arts guy sure
uh dennis did we mention that the program is i guess this weekend on tomorrow
night on showtime
10 o'clock called no cure for cancer good to meet you nice to meet you thank
you very much for coming
by dennis leary ladies and gentlemen be right back here hey nice going paul
dennis great to have you
here thanks thanks good fun uh good luck with the special have a great weekend
and uh oh we'll get
somebody else this will be fun folks one last time please uh i'd like to
introduce somebody in the
audience say hello to a good friend of ours bill murray bill stand up and take
a bow there he is
right there next door got the potato
well good to see you enjoy that potato you earned it buddy my thanks also to mary
shapen carpenter
and john lyracat have a great weekend good night everybody