Name: Bill O'Reilly Believes What He's Saying On Fox News | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-04-19T15:03:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill O'Reilly Believes What He's Saying On Fox News | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill O'Reilly Believes What He's Saying On Fox News | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-19. Transcript available.

one of our producers matt roberts recognizes that i'm in trouble when uh big
pants comes out here
so he put together some responses for me yeah that's what you think i'm not
buying that
where did you hear that
whatever
now listen to this our first guest is an emmy award winning a broadcaster whose
nightly program
the o'reilly factor recently celebrated 100 100 consecutive months as cable
television's number
one news program hey you see what i'm saying ladies and gentlemen here's bill o'reilly
wow
that's you know when i look at that 100 months how many years is 100 months
eight and a quarter wow
nice going number one in cable news and congratulations uh take us through the
the
history were you always a news commentary or were you a reporter of hard news i
was a reporter i
started in scranton pennsylvania and uh worked my way up worked at channel two
in new york
abc news cbs news and i did inside edition one of your favorite programs uh and
then i went back to
school went to harvard got a master's degree in public administration designed
the factor in cambridge
massachusetts came back they hired me a fox and here we are so when you say
working your way up does that
really apply to fox hey come on relax but now
i want to tell you and this book is a crazy bestseller how many weeks have been
on the bestseller
six months on the bestseller see here's what breaks my heart about this because
in my mind
i think of you as a goon and but then when you look at look at this picture
look at how sweet and
adorable that kid is and it breaks my heart because i have a sweet adorable kid
like that and i think
oh great what if he too becomes a goon you know
do you want me to respond to any of this no
you know there's been a lot of stuff going on yeah um let's let's talk about
this uh the big thing
uh with rush limbaugh the new face of the republican party now how did that
happen
is that a good thing is that what they need now and what's going on there well
i think it was uh
a carvel james carvel you know james he's been on this program and uh somebody
else they said well
let's uh throw this out there that rush limbaugh is running the republican
party and the media ran
with it and so there it is yeah you know i got out of talk radio about four
months ago uh four weeks
ago four weeks ago it seems like four months i'm the luckiest guy on earth who
did that help rush limbaugh
his ratings went through the roof i used to compete with him on the radio so
you know they a little
wise guy stuff involved with that but it helped rush limbaugh so now his
ratings are higher he's happy
and uh but does it mean anything is he in fact the titular head of the
republican party does he represent
the constituents i don't believe so i don't check in with the republican party
very often so i don't think
so and and then what was the deal where uh the republican party in in the face
and the gesture
of richard steele uh offered uh uh rush limbaugh an apology i don't think they
want to offend rush
limbaugh he's got uh 15 hours air time right on the radio so i don't think you
do any republicans or
conservatives want to offend the man because they just you know but isn't that
the dog wagging the tail
here i'm sorry i think with all due respect and i and i know you're uh you know
i think you're making
a big deal out of nothing here i don't think this is an important thing i was
excited about it i wanted
i want rush limbaugh to be the new face of the why do you do why why well he's
tubby
he's he for a long time he had his a housekeeper buying illegal drugs
and i thought well if this is what the republican party needs there you go you're
signing up that's
yeah you're on board do you really think it's nice to do that to limbaugh i
mean really i mean
i'm just a serious question the they set him up as a straw man right like
nobody nobody takes it
seriously i think he set himself up didn't he why he's a radio talk show guy he
goes on the radio
just like you go on tv right he does his show you either like it or you don't
nobody forces you to
watch or listen to you or limbaugh why cheap shot the guy i mean why bother
that's a good question yeah oh
yeah whatever
can you prove that
all right now here now you know why i'm number one for 100 months now uh
but here's here's what i've always thought about uh rush limbaugh uh yourself
and your your buddy
glenn beck even admitted you think we're the same limbaugh and i are in the
same please will you
just give me a minute um i i always thought that uh i'm sorry it was michael
steel i think i said
richard steel but i always thought that rush limbaugh could have been a tv
weatherman could have done
sports uh he could have hosted a game show but but somebody said uh rush we got
this uh we need a
right wing uh commentary niche can oh yeah i can do that do you know him met
him a couple of times
yeah i've been on the show didn't you used to be a tv weatherman yeah okay but
but now i'm not the
face of the republican party you're not i thought you were uh but it just it
just seems to me like he's
too smart to believe what he's saying look and i feel the same way about you
you're too smart to
believe what you say yeah don't make him come up there oh hold your coat give
me one example of
something that i've said that i'm too smart to have said just one you're gonna
you're gonna boycott sean
penn movies yeah i don't i don't want that's a good one dave and i appreciate
you uh having a discourse
now it's my 10 bucks right yeah i can go see what i want yeah right i mean oh
let me talk
all right now this guy runs down to venezuela does a little mbada with ugo chavez
okay i don't like
ugo chavez i think he's a tyrant so i'm going i don't really want to spend 10
bucks on this guy
if clark gable dave and i know you feel the same way if clark gable had cozy it
up to francisco
franco in the 30s i wouldn't have got to see gone with the wind right all right
but strictly speaking
one of two things uh your boycott of sean penn when is the last sean penn movie
you saw period i saw
the mystic river clint eastwood movie excellent film and he's a good actor by
the way so i'm
suffering here for my art yeah but
is this mine but it's going to be on your conscience when you put him out of
work
uh and two have you ever met hugo chavez i have talked really talked what was
that kind of an
interpreter oh really about i called him a pinhead through his interview it's a
short conversation
uh now anyway let's talk about you like hugo chavez no i think he's squirrely i
i don't like the idea
that he nationalizes the media he's nationalizing the banks the term limits
were extended that's not
good right i think he's he's trying you know raul and fidel i got in his ear
and he's uh and he's got
this thing right there that i think needs to come off so you and i are on the
same page on this right
on hugo chavez i don't know what he's up to but are you boycotting sean penn
movies no i like sean
penn he can go anywhere he wants i don't care no now let's talk about your
buddy uh glenn beck
uh there's a piece on him in the times the other day and he said what i think
coalesces this whole
deal which deal is that which is you're too smart to say the things you say me
or him everybody you rush
glenn beck um he said at the end of the piece glenn beck says uh if people take
what i say as gospel
they're idiots and i i don't think that was the exact quote that was the exact
quote
no he he called himself a um sir rodeo club rodeo yeah but at the end he said
if people take what i
say as gospel they're idiots well because he wants you to do his own research
look glenn beck is a talk
show host right rush limbaugh is a talk show so not journalists well what are
you you're a talk i'm
a journalist you're you know what's the difference i don't know i got a degree
i paid a lot of money
for where's your journal is it right on my wall
i covered
went out covered stories uh you know so what you do is mostly commentary now it
is yes yes but it was a
hard news reporter but those guys are basically entertainers and they admit
that you're an entertainer
somewhat somewhat somewhat no we're informational driven we give information to
you which is why i
know a lot right that's why i've been number one for a hundred months yeah you're
not that entertaining
so uh if i'm not that entertaining why am i so popular are they stupid yeah
what are we stupid
yeah come on now uh but no but but i think glenn beck in and and maybe he got
caught up in the moment of candor but i think he speaks to this i think you
guys know exactly what
you're doing you've been very successful at it but the truth of it is you're
not speaking your
conscience so we're charlatan this is what you're saying charlatan it's showbiz
you know no no no
this is why wrestling is popular no no no everything i say i believe and i
believe everything beck says
he believes yeah but and what percentage of stuff do you make up none if i make
anything up they just rip
me up in the new york times or whatever i i mean we have a very good research
staff just like your
staff very good they find out the facts we come in we present them we give an
opinion we bring out
an opposing point of view that's why we're number one dave come on now no okay
i get it now bill thanks
all right we're back here with uh bill o'reilly now let's talk about something
else i saw our old
buddy uh al franken uh was running for senator up in minnesota and the and the
the race was very very
close right and so close that a mandatory recount took place uh the votes were
examined the ballots
examined that heretofore have not been examined and the lead was 230 something
for al franken uh and now
it's they're awaiting some adjudication uh and after that if norm coleman is
denied he'll have an appeal
process what what does this all look like to you you know i'm going to recuse
myself because i don't
like al franken and it's not fair to me to go on and say bad things about him i
don't want to do that
but it's a mess i mean they want to count ballots that haven't been counted and
there's lawsuits over
every ballot and and look i'd like to see just another election here just have
another election
and have everybody jimmy carter and all the boys go in and watch what goes on
and that's what i'd like
to see right but it's right now it's just why why would there need to be some
sort of people watching
what goes on some sort of observers well there's some cheating elections in
america that happens here
yeah unfortunately but but this one it's interesting because and and i'm
interested in that you don't
want to talk about it because you don't like uh al franken yeah it's not right
that doesn't stop you
nightly from talking about people you don't like no i very rarely you only talk
about people you like
i'm gonna i'm gonna send over some tapes so you can watch the show and know
what the hell's going
on all right i have no idea i can't find the show i don't know where it is you're
right i am
at a handicap i've never i've never seen the show we don't um but anyway one
thing if you had watched
the show you would be much smarter you wouldn't have to say whatever i can't
stamp that okay
it's on an 8 pm day oh right uh but the thing about the al franken race whether
you like him
or not i happen to like al i don't know norm coleman and he's was the incumbent
senator but it's
fascinating because they always say every vote counts and it looks like now
however this comes down
whether it's 200 votes whether it's a thousand votes oh my gosh you know how
many live in in
minnesota five million six million people i don't know that's just remarkable
that in this country the
system will tolerate that the slicing it that thin it is and uh i feel bad for
the people in minnesota
they should have a senator and they should have the representation but this
thing's going to go on
forever because it's now litigation city and that's what it is right so if the
if the decision does not
go uh norm coleman's way he then can appeal and the whole thing will be
repeating go to the supreme court
that's how far and you know that'll be by the time i get around it'll be uh six
years from now i'll be in
voting again you know what is interesting to me uh a year ago we had a guy on
the show uh a seating
sitting a democratic congressman and during the commercial i said what do you
think
it will be george bush's legacy and he said to me george bush when he's out of
office should be
arrested and tried for war crimes and i laughed i thought democratic senator
said i'm shocked and
and i i laughed i thought this guy's this guy's a kook but now i see that there's
this is gaining
some traction yeah in spain yeah in spain they may they may do it look i think
we should all give
president bush a break for just a little while you know break for what history
let history unfold
whether you like him or not the man was handed a really tough plate after 9 11
and i think he
tried to do the best he could obviously he presided over an economy that
collapsed that's on his
sheet presided or ignored i don't know i don't know
i'm not going to insult the audience but if you're applauding for that ladies
and gentlemen the
democrats controlled the hill for two years okay frank and dodd were in charge
of the finance
committees in the house and the senate so if you think bush ignored it then the
other guys ignored it
well because nobody gave us a heads up nobody all right so why don't we just
calm down on this bush
thing let history unfold okay all right all right take me down this road uh
history unfolds how many
years are we unfolding 10 15 20 i don't think so years 100 years i don't think
what will what will
vindicate what will make him look like a great president i think look you're
going to have people
study the man you're going to have people study the record and you're going to
have information come
out because we have a 24 7 news cycle what information information about
decisions he made
what he did um why the economy collapsed did he know did he not know economy as
serious as it is a
global problem is only part of it uh the situation in in iraq as far as i know
the only positive thing
i heard about this administration was he was a great supporter of africa and
that you can't take away
from the guy and god and he kept us protected uh we weren't attacked after 9 11.
that's big right
that's but now well what about and then and then uh 500 000 iraqis uh killed uh
5 000 american men and
women killed for for what reason to get rid of saddam hussein that's probably
what it comes down to that
country into into a hotbed of terrorism where it hadn't been a hotbed of
terrorism before i'm not
going to defend the iraq war i don't think it was worth going there and i've
said that on the air
many times i don't think the blood and treasure was worth it i'm thankful we
won that war i'm thankful
that we were victorious because now barack obama's road is easier because we
won that war if we had
lost it his road would be harder but i'm not going to justify the blood and
treasure it was a mistake
a historical mistake if the bush administration had concentrated perhaps on afghanistan
they talk
about making barack obama's job easier then it would have been immeasurably
easier now to have
sidesteped the the massacre because in order to concentrate on afghanistan you
would have had and still today to
invade pakistan that's where those people are hiding okay so unless you go in
pakistan territory and get
them which pakistan does not want and would cause a big wider war they're going
to sit there now we're
dropping predators on them and we're wiping some of them out but that's not
that's a simplistic
solution to a very complicated problem what do you know about paul bremer's
role in the war in iraq
he was the administrator in iraq at the worst time okay so paul bremer has some
explaining to do he
was in central central america what the central america he was involved in
before bremer yeah
i don't know what he was involved with before i can't accurately say but he's
the one that they
believe brought death squads to iraq i don't believe that for a second uh bremer
was the administrator
the american administrator under his tutelage it went south and thank god for
general petraeus who got in
there and turned it around okay let me just say something as ignorant as i am
and there are a few
people more ignorant than i am i didn't i didn't realize the deficit that this
country had established
for itself or been forced into for eight years until the previous tenant left
the house the money deficit
you're talking about the state of the united states globally right until we got
a guy in there who was
actually and who knows if he's doing the right thing but at least he's doing
something but to me the
united states government was essentially closed for eight years i think they
could have been a lot more
open about what they did and i don't think president bush is going to go down
in history i think he'll be
in a lower tier of presidents but i don't think he's a venal man i don't think
he's a murderer i don't
believe any of this garbage and i think it's unless you have proof to accuse a
president of being uh
deceitful to of being a criminal of torturing people all right forget that what
about what about
just negligence what about accusations of negligence but you talk about do i
think he was negligent let's
talk about cheney the cheney is the venal one right i don't have much use for
the vice president you
don't like dick i don't yeah i don't like the way he handled the whole
situation he wouldn't come on
my program is that right yeah i mean i asked him a million times to come on he
wouldn't i don't like
that form of governance if you're going to do something come in and explain
what you're doing
that's what our country's all about and again it never would it seemed to me
like his idea was let's
just get in and get as much money for our rich buddies and get out and that'll
be it's it look
that's maybe simplistic but that's the impression i know dick cheney doesn't
need any money well hey
hey we'll be right back on the factor 100 months the number one news cable show
bill i'm
going to ask you about this uh we have this videotape do you want to show it or
do you not
want to show it you know what i'm talking about yeah this was the uh some weasel
sold a videotape
uh to an internet uh site where of me cursing uh you know on the air you were
you were taping
something for your show that's why i was really offended by this i have so much
better stuff than
that really and i'll give it to them at a discount i mean they get it you know
i mean it's like oh
there's a roley cursing like i don't curse right you know irish guys curse that's
in the dna we curse
okay we curse a lot and we're loud we say bad words so why don't it just come
to me if you want
to see me cursing i got plenty of tape on it you sure you don't want to show it
to you no i don't
really don't my mom's watching you know you don't want yeah your mom's watching
mom's mom's watching leno
is she not if i'm on mom likes me oh god you know it dave uh all right well
bill i think we're done
here i'd like to see you in about six months for a cleaning
um the number one uh the cable news show for the last eight and a half years
thank you very much

Bill O'Reilly Believes What He's Saying On Fox News | Letterman

one of our producers matt roberts recognizes that i'm in trouble when uh big
pants comes out here
so he put together some responses for me yeah that's what you think i'm not
buying that
where did you hear that
whatever
now listen to this our first guest is an emmy award winning a broadcaster whose
nightly program
the o'reilly factor recently celebrated 100 100 consecutive months as cable
television's number
one news program hey you see what i'm saying ladies and gentlemen here's bill o'reilly
wow
that's you know when i look at that 100 months how many years is 100 months
eight and a quarter wow
nice going number one in cable news and congratulations uh take us through the
the
history were you always a news commentary or were you a reporter of hard news i
was a reporter i
started in scranton pennsylvania and uh worked my way up worked at channel two
in new york
abc news cbs news and i did inside edition one of your favorite programs uh and
then i went back to
school went to harvard got a master's degree in public administration designed
the factor in cambridge
massachusetts came back they hired me a fox and here we are so when you say
working your way up does that
really apply to fox hey come on relax but now
i want to tell you and this book is a crazy bestseller how many weeks have been
on the bestseller
six months on the bestseller see here's what breaks my heart about this because
in my mind
i think of you as a goon and but then when you look at look at this picture
look at how sweet and
adorable that kid is and it breaks my heart because i have a sweet adorable kid
like that and i think
oh great what if he too becomes a goon you know
do you want me to respond to any of this no
you know there's been a lot of stuff going on yeah um let's let's talk about
this uh the big thing
uh with rush limbaugh the new face of the republican party now how did that
happen
is that a good thing is that what they need now and what's going on there well
i think it was uh
a carvel james carvel you know james he's been on this program and uh somebody
else they said well
let's uh throw this out there that rush limbaugh is running the republican
party and the media ran
with it and so there it is yeah you know i got out of talk radio about four
months ago uh four weeks
ago four weeks ago it seems like four months i'm the luckiest guy on earth who
did that help rush limbaugh
his ratings went through the roof i used to compete with him on the radio so
you know they a little
wise guy stuff involved with that but it helped rush limbaugh so now his
ratings are higher he's happy
and uh but does it mean anything is he in fact the titular head of the
republican party does he represent
the constituents i don't believe so i don't check in with the republican party
very often so i don't think
so and and then what was the deal where uh the republican party in in the face
and the gesture
of richard steele uh offered uh uh rush limbaugh an apology i don't think they
want to offend rush
limbaugh he's got uh 15 hours air time right on the radio so i don't think you
do any republicans or
conservatives want to offend the man because they just you know but isn't that
the dog wagging the tail
here i'm sorry i think with all due respect and i and i know you're uh you know
i think you're making
a big deal out of nothing here i don't think this is an important thing i was
excited about it i wanted
i want rush limbaugh to be the new face of the why do you do why why well he's
tubby
he's he for a long time he had his a housekeeper buying illegal drugs
and i thought well if this is what the republican party needs there you go you're
signing up that's
yeah you're on board do you really think it's nice to do that to limbaugh i
mean really i mean
i'm just a serious question the they set him up as a straw man right like
nobody nobody takes it
seriously i think he set himself up didn't he why he's a radio talk show guy he
goes on the radio
just like you go on tv right he does his show you either like it or you don't
nobody forces you to
watch or listen to you or limbaugh why cheap shot the guy i mean why bother
that's a good question yeah oh
yeah whatever
can you prove that
all right now here now you know why i'm number one for 100 months now uh
but here's here's what i've always thought about uh rush limbaugh uh yourself
and your your buddy
glenn beck even admitted you think we're the same limbaugh and i are in the
same please will you
just give me a minute um i i always thought that uh i'm sorry it was michael
steel i think i said
richard steel but i always thought that rush limbaugh could have been a tv
weatherman could have done
sports uh he could have hosted a game show but but somebody said uh rush we got
this uh we need a
right wing uh commentary niche can oh yeah i can do that do you know him met
him a couple of times
yeah i've been on the show didn't you used to be a tv weatherman yeah okay but
but now i'm not the
face of the republican party you're not i thought you were uh but it just it
just seems to me like he's
too smart to believe what he's saying look and i feel the same way about you
you're too smart to
believe what you say yeah don't make him come up there oh hold your coat give
me one example of
something that i've said that i'm too smart to have said just one you're gonna
you're gonna boycott sean
penn movies yeah i don't i don't want that's a good one dave and i appreciate
you uh having a discourse
now it's my 10 bucks right yeah i can go see what i want yeah right i mean oh
let me talk
all right now this guy runs down to venezuela does a little mbada with ugo chavez
okay i don't like
ugo chavez i think he's a tyrant so i'm going i don't really want to spend 10
bucks on this guy
if clark gable dave and i know you feel the same way if clark gable had cozy it
up to francisco
franco in the 30s i wouldn't have got to see gone with the wind right all right
but strictly speaking
one of two things uh your boycott of sean penn when is the last sean penn movie
you saw period i saw
the mystic river clint eastwood movie excellent film and he's a good actor by
the way so i'm
suffering here for my art yeah but
is this mine but it's going to be on your conscience when you put him out of
work
uh and two have you ever met hugo chavez i have talked really talked what was
that kind of an
interpreter oh really about i called him a pinhead through his interview it's a
short conversation
uh now anyway let's talk about you like hugo chavez no i think he's squirrely i
i don't like the idea
that he nationalizes the media he's nationalizing the banks the term limits
were extended that's not
good right i think he's he's trying you know raul and fidel i got in his ear
and he's uh and he's got
this thing right there that i think needs to come off so you and i are on the
same page on this right
on hugo chavez i don't know what he's up to but are you boycotting sean penn
movies no i like sean
penn he can go anywhere he wants i don't care no now let's talk about your
buddy uh glenn beck
uh there's a piece on him in the times the other day and he said what i think
coalesces this whole
deal which deal is that which is you're too smart to say the things you say me
or him everybody you rush
glenn beck um he said at the end of the piece glenn beck says uh if people take
what i say as gospel
they're idiots and i i don't think that was the exact quote that was the exact
quote
no he he called himself a um sir rodeo club rodeo yeah but at the end he said
if people take what i
say as gospel they're idiots well because he wants you to do his own research
look glenn beck is a talk
show host right rush limbaugh is a talk show so not journalists well what are
you you're a talk i'm
a journalist you're you know what's the difference i don't know i got a degree
i paid a lot of money
for where's your journal is it right on my wall
i covered
went out covered stories uh you know so what you do is mostly commentary now it
is yes yes but it was a
hard news reporter but those guys are basically entertainers and they admit
that you're an entertainer
somewhat somewhat somewhat no we're informational driven we give information to
you which is why i
know a lot right that's why i've been number one for a hundred months yeah you're
not that entertaining
so uh if i'm not that entertaining why am i so popular are they stupid yeah
what are we stupid
yeah come on now uh but no but but i think glenn beck in and and maybe he got
caught up in the moment of candor but i think he speaks to this i think you
guys know exactly what
you're doing you've been very successful at it but the truth of it is you're
not speaking your
conscience so we're charlatan this is what you're saying charlatan it's showbiz
you know no no no
this is why wrestling is popular no no no everything i say i believe and i
believe everything beck says
he believes yeah but and what percentage of stuff do you make up none if i make
anything up they just rip
me up in the new york times or whatever i i mean we have a very good research
staff just like your
staff very good they find out the facts we come in we present them we give an
opinion we bring out
an opposing point of view that's why we're number one dave come on now no okay
i get it now bill thanks
all right we're back here with uh bill o'reilly now let's talk about something
else i saw our old
buddy uh al franken uh was running for senator up in minnesota and the and the
the race was very very
close right and so close that a mandatory recount took place uh the votes were
examined the ballots
examined that heretofore have not been examined and the lead was 230 something
for al franken uh and now
it's they're awaiting some adjudication uh and after that if norm coleman is
denied he'll have an appeal
process what what does this all look like to you you know i'm going to recuse
myself because i don't
like al franken and it's not fair to me to go on and say bad things about him i
don't want to do that
but it's a mess i mean they want to count ballots that haven't been counted and
there's lawsuits over
every ballot and and look i'd like to see just another election here just have
another election
and have everybody jimmy carter and all the boys go in and watch what goes on
and that's what i'd like
to see right but it's right now it's just why why would there need to be some
sort of people watching
what goes on some sort of observers well there's some cheating elections in
america that happens here
yeah unfortunately but but this one it's interesting because and and i'm
interested in that you don't
want to talk about it because you don't like uh al franken yeah it's not right
that doesn't stop you
nightly from talking about people you don't like no i very rarely you only talk
about people you like
i'm gonna i'm gonna send over some tapes so you can watch the show and know
what the hell's going
on all right i have no idea i can't find the show i don't know where it is you're
right i am
at a handicap i've never i've never seen the show we don't um but anyway one
thing if you had watched
the show you would be much smarter you wouldn't have to say whatever i can't
stamp that okay
it's on an 8 pm day oh right uh but the thing about the al franken race whether
you like him
or not i happen to like al i don't know norm coleman and he's was the incumbent
senator but it's
fascinating because they always say every vote counts and it looks like now
however this comes down
whether it's 200 votes whether it's a thousand votes oh my gosh you know how
many live in in
minnesota five million six million people i don't know that's just remarkable
that in this country the
system will tolerate that the slicing it that thin it is and uh i feel bad for
the people in minnesota
they should have a senator and they should have the representation but this
thing's going to go on
forever because it's now litigation city and that's what it is right so if the
if the decision does not
g