Name: Dave Prepares For The Writers' Strike | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-05-01T22:04:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Prepares For The Writers' Strike | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Prepares For The Writers' Strike | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-01. Transcript available.

And I'll tell you one thing, there's a chance now that the Writers Guild of
America, East
and Writers Guild of America West, will go on strike. We don't know right now
if that's
going to happen, but it looks like they may go on strike. And it could mean
that all of
your favorite television shows will go away. And they may not come back. And so
what I'm
trying to say is this could be your last look at me and Paul. We don't know yet.
We just
don't know what's going to happen. And on the one hand, you have the welfare
and the future
of the Writers Guild of America members. I've been a member of that guild for
all my life.
And on the other hand, you have the welfare of the staff and the crew who work
here at
The Late Show. So it's a tough decision. And yours truly, once again, caught
right in
the middle. Right in the middle, ladies and gentlemen. And if this strike turns
out to hurt anyone,
it'll be yours truly. I'm the one who gets hurt here. Do you understand? Thank
you. I'm
glad we agree on that. Let me remind you of one thing. Regardless of what I do,
I'm a hero.
And Paul is my friend. And I know that in town. Just awful. It's just awful. I
hate stuff like that.
Hey! Hey! Oh, hi, honey. How are you? Hey, I just want you to know, if there's
a strike,
don't think you're going to be sleeping till noon every day. So I've got a list
of chores
for you. You're going to clean the gutters, you're going to fix the furnace,
and you're
going to clear all your crap out of the garage. Okay. Okay. Fine. Hey, hey, hey,
hey, honey,
honey, aren't you forgetting something? What? I love you. Oh, God.
Oh, baby. Well, here's what we're talking about. Because of the impending
strike and the possibility
of the strike, and by the way, this could cripple television. It could bring
television
to its knees. I know. There would be no more television. And the guy that you
bought your
TV from Circuit City or wherever you got it, they'll be by the house to pick up
your set.
They'll come and get it. They'll come and take it away from you, because there's
nothing
to watch, and there are people around the world who still have television, and
that's where
your TV will go. To people who need sets to watch actual television, since in
this country,
there will be no television. Well, at least that's good. Wait a minute, Paul,
please.
All right. Do you understand what I'm saying? Okay, now, Paul, go ahead.
I'm fine. Go ahead. Okay. All right.
So anyway, the TV producers who are cowards, cutthroats, and weasels, they are
now trying
to capitalize on this possible strike by, and I don't know that they're, it
doesn't seem
like it's proper what they're doing. What are they doing? Well, for example,
take the idiots
who produce the Desperate Housewives show. Yes, I know the show. They're a very
popular
show, and they're trying to make as many episodes of that show as possible
before the writers
go on strike, and I'm not sure it's right. Take a look at what they're doing.
See if you
don't agree with Daddy. Sunday, on an all-new Desperate Housewives, a shocking
event rocks
Wisteria Lane. You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming to join you, honey.
Desperate Housewives, ABC Sunday. You see what I'm talking about? Yeah.
I wonder maybe... Excuse me! Hey! Did the writers go out already? Is that what
happened?
Hey! Oh, yes. I'm sorry. Yes. In case there's a writer's strike, I just wanted
to come by
and say that I may not be here for a while, so... Okay, I understand. Sure.
"F**k you!" Wait a minute. "And f**k you!" "And f**k you!"
Hey. Hey. Aren't you forgetting something? I love you.
I've been told now by network executives that if there is a strike, you'll
still be able to watch
the show, but nobody will be here. So that's just what you'll see, just an
empty shot of the desk
and the chair. Oh. But Paul, God bless him, has been nice enough and
volunteered the band
and the orchestra. They'll be here every night if you want to come in and dance.
While you're dining and dancing. That's gonna be great, Paul. Yes.
Oh, this is the perfect time for something like this, ladies and gentlemen.
Here now,
with a look at what's happening on the geopolitical scene, is our very own Alan
Coulter.
Alan Coulter, listen carefully. Alan?
On Sunday, Argentina's First Lady, Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner, was elected
president
with 44.9% of the vote. In light of these historic events, I'd like to direct
what follows to the incoming president.
What's poppin', Mommy? I hear you've strengthened your grip on Congress in the
recent days.
Well, after the two of us down a few dulce de leches together, the only thing
you'll be interested in gripping your slender fingers around is Big Red.
I'll ask you to dance. The only music we'll have is the rhythm of our pulsating
bodies, which is the only soundtrack we'll need as we perform our sweaty, throbbing
flesh tango.
That's enough.
Hi, I'm Bill Scheft, shop steward for the Late Show writing staff.
Because of the writer's strike, which could go into effect at any moment, you
will unfortunately not be able to see the rest of this skit.
It is our fervent hope that both parties will come to an amicable agreement
quickly so that you, the American viewing public,
can once again enjoy the kind of top-shelf comedy you've come to expect from
the Late Show writers.
Isn't that right, Alan? Absolutely right, Bill.
Tell the big media companies to play fair with the writers.
Once again, we apologize that you won't be able to see the rest of the skit,
but rest assured, it was hilarious.
This message has been brought to you by the Writers Guild of America.
Back to you, Dave.
Exactly. That's what I'm talking about.
We'll see you next time.