Name: Staff Favorite Moments: Pat Farmer | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-05-02T15:03:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Favorite Moments: Pat Farmer | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Favorite Moments: Pat Farmer | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-02. Transcript available.

Hi, my name is Pat Farmer. I was in charge of the props department at Late Show
with David Letterman
from his beginning on CBS in 1993 until the show ended in 2015.
Early on in the show, he decided to throw things off the roof.
For whatever reason, he picked me to do the throwing, and sometimes he needed
help
because some of the stuff we threw was pretty big.
Take it away, boys. There they go.
Off to the Ed Sullivan Theater building, out to 53rd Street.
There we go. Right out there on the 53rd Street.
20,000 ping-pong balls off the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater building.
Whoa!
700 pounds of nacho cheese. There it goes.
Oh, my goodness. Look out, look out, look out, look out, look out.
Kathleen Anchors was a set designer. She's just a classic English dame.
Kathleen used to come out in a bit. She would just be cursing a blue streak at
Dave. It was hysterical.
One of my favorite things on the show.
And here tonight with a fresh batch of hilarious new library books is our very
own and beloved Peggy, the foul-mouthed CBS librarian.
Hi, Peggy, how are you?
Hi, Peggy, how are you?
Oh, you illiterate, f***-faced bastard.
It's very nice to see you, too, Peggy. Thank you for the books.
Shove the f***.
What?
Shove the f*** damn books up your f***.
You skinny f*** overpainted f***.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Peggy, the CBS librarian.
Biff is just as good as it gets.
He could never predict what he was going to do.
At one time, he was supposed to call Dave a dweeb or whatever, whatever the
adjective was that we used on the show.
For whatever reason, Biff said, "Dave, you're an asshole."
I've got a contest, too.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. It's called Biff Henderson's "Who can do the lamest skit about a contest
contest?"
And guess what?
You two a***** won.
Yeah, it's Jack- Hey, hey, it's-
It's Jackass!
I'm sorry. I really-
Ah, slip of the tongue?
No, I'm sorry.
Slip of the tongue.
Ah, Sarah.
I remember one time, some people must have come dancing on stage at the Academy
Awards, and they had something written on their chest, I forget what.
And so, Kenny and I had to do that. That was not one of my finer moments.
Our own stagehands, Pat and Kenny, are they here? It sounds like they were on
it. Yeah.
I didn't see that.
You know Pat and Kenny. Were they working behind the scenes or something?
Yeah, they're right there. Pat Farmer and Kenny Sheen right there.
All right boys, you were on the show last night? That's all my knowledge, Dave.
We got a special permission from the Academy to show it. I think this is Pat
and Kenny on last
night's Academy Awards broadcast. Take a look, see what you think. There's
Billy Crystal right there.
And just like real life, I have not heard from you tonight. You're not on me
tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm telling you.
You boys, you boys are getting your money's worth out of that ab roller, aren't
you?
A lot of things on the street there were a lot of fun and required a lot of
work sometimes too.
Three!
The Dutch sailed here in New York in 1624 and for 40 years ruled over the
colony.
Check it out. Hey, who are you supposed to be?
Come on guys, can't you see him doing this thing here?
It was conquered by the English. Are you talking back to me, sweetheart?
I think he got any money.
You better run, I'll cut you.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
I have only a vague memory of this,
but a couple of the crew and myself,
a bunch of stagehands, had to do Riverdance,
the Irish dancing that was a craze at the time.
I guess still is.
Okay, that's plenty.
All right, that's plenty.
They would use me to do interrupts.
Dave would be doing his monologue,
and then all of a sudden he would just walk out,
and then be standing next to Dave.
And invariably, he would look shocked.
He would go, ooh.
Every once in a while, it was so good.
You couldn't help laughing.
It was so good.
And I think I left something in the pocket.
In my pocket?
Yeah, it's right here.
Right here.
Let me see.
I got it.
That's it.
It's still good.
Good.
Thank you, Dave.
Thanks, Pat.
A guy that worked for me,
someone must have noticed that there's some resemblance,
but he's a lot shorter than me,
putting me six or eight inches.
So they decided to call us Pat and Little Pat.
Pat won't be able to interrupt your show for a few weeks
because he's going on vacation.
So he asked me to interrupt your show while he's away.
Uh-huh.
Um, well, you know,
we don't really want the show interrupted.
Whether Pat's here or not.
And by the way, who are you?
I'm Bobby.
The stagehandle kind of looks like a miniature version of Pat.
Yeah, well, that part's true.
But again, we're just getting the show kind of off the ground here,
and we don't really welcome the interruptions.
I forget, Pat.
What am I supposed to do when he gets all bitchy like this?
You don't need to get pissy, you withered old hag!
I think we should leave now, little Pat.
Yeah, I think that's a good idea.
See, thanks.
Nice going, guys.
Some of the best guests that came on were the military.
And he had people come on that had done these amazingly heroic things.
And so modest about it, it was unbelievable.
One fella came on, and he had lost a hand.
And I believe he had saved a couple of people.
And in the process, that's what had happened to him.
And he's chatting with Dave, and he says,
"And I can do tricks with it, too, I think."
Something to that effect.
And then he took his hand and just started spinning it around.
I'm sure he's had his troubles, but it was pretty cool.
And he was pretty cool.
What can you tell us about your hand here?
I'll tell you, when I lost my hand, I thought I was going to get a hook,
which I also have a hook.
But then when they gave me this, I was in awe.
I mean, this is pretty much like a normal hand.
It's got rotation as well.
So it's got a bunch of neat features.
Now, it's none of my business, but...
What do you use the rotation for?
Well, if I have something in this hand, and I got my hand in this posture,
and I want to grab something sideways, it's easier than having to put something
down.
I see, I see.
And it's really good for a lot of the double-arm amputees,
because they can't manipulate the wrist as easy.
But it sits up here on your muscles.
It's got little sensors that pick up the slightest muscle movement.
You can see my muscle twitching.
That's just remarkable.
That's amazing.
Yes, it is amazing, and for an amazing man.
CBS has rights to the NCAA tournament, March Madness.
So Late Show, one year they decided to promo it by having me throw basketballs
off the roof,
which was nine of its stories up, give or take, and into a hoop that was on the
street.
Preface this, I had a younger brother who had just passed.
Right before we were ready to rehearse, I started hearing a voice from my
brother on the fifth shot.
So the first three or four shots, the balls would be going to, you know,
14, 15 feet in the direction, just blown by the wind.
And come the fifth shot, the ball just blown 15 feet in another direction.
And I said, "Oh, well, so much for that."
But then the voice comes in loud and clear and says, "No, during the show,
stupid."
"Now you're going to make it in two shots."
And I said, "Oh, God."
You know, the first shot gets blown all over the place.
The second shot goes right in.
And I just, "Oh, well, there you go."
I couldn't believe it.
Take it away, Pat.
Okay.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
But you see what I'm talking about, that bounce, Pat?
Coming up, man.
You get that bounce working for you, my friend.
You're going to the Hall of Fame.
I'm going to do it.
All right, keep going.
You got enough balls up there?
Yeah.
Okay.
Maybe I'll spit it.
Whoa.
Oh, Nella.
What happened there?
Man, alive did that look...
Man, alive did that look so good.
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Staff Favorite Moments: Pat Farmer | Letterman

Hi, my name is Pat Farmer. I was in charge of the props department at Late Show
with David Letterman
from his beginning on CBS in 1993 until the show ended in 2015.
Early on in the show, he decided to throw things off the roof.
For whatever reason, he picked me to do the throwing, and sometimes he needed
help
because some of the stuff we threw was pretty big.
Take it away, boys. There they go.
Off to the Ed Sullivan Theater building, out to 53rd Street.
There we go. Right out there on the 53rd Street.
20,000 ping-pong balls off the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater building.
Whoa!
700 pounds of nacho cheese. There it goes.
Oh, my goodness. Look out, look out, look out, look out, look out.
Kathleen Anchors was a set designer. She's just a classic English dame.
Kathleen used to come out in a bit. She would just be cursing a blue streak at
Dave. It was hysterical.
One of my favorite things on the show.
And here tonight with a fresh batch of hilarious new library books is our very
own and beloved Peggy, the foul-mouthed CBS librarian.
Hi, Peggy, how are you?
Hi, Peggy, how are you?
Oh, you illiterate, f***-faced bastard.
It's very nice to see you, too, Peggy. Thank you for the books.
Shove the f***.
What?
Shove the f*** damn books up your f***.
You skinny f*** overpainted f***.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Peggy, the CBS librarian.
Biff is just as good as it gets.
He could never predict what he was going to do.
At one time, he was supposed to call Dave a dweeb or whatever, whatever the
adjective was that we used on the show.
For whatever reason, Biff said, "Dave, you're an asshole."
I've got a contest, too.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. It's called Biff Henderson's "Who can do the lamest skit about a contest
contest?"
And guess what?
You two a***** won.
Yeah, it's Jack- Hey, hey, it's-
It's Jackass!
I'm sorry. I really-
Ah, slip of the tongue?
No, I'm sorry.
Slip of the tongue.
Ah, Sarah.
I remember one time, some people must have come dancing on stage at the Academy
Awards, and they had something written on their chest, I forget what.
And so, Kenny and I had to do that. That was not one of my finer moments.
Our own stagehands, Pat and Kenny, are they here? It sounds like they were on
it. Yeah.
I didn't see that.
You know Pat and Kenny. Were they working behind the scenes or something?
Yeah, they're right there. Pat Farmer and Kenny Sheen right there.
All right boys, you were on the show last night? That's all my knowledge, Dave.
We got a special permission from the Academy to show it. I think this is Pat
and Kenny on last
night's Academy Awards broadcast. Take a look, see what you think. There's
Billy Crystal right there.
And just like real life, I have not heard from you tonight. You're not on me
tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm telling you.
You boys, you boys are getting your money's worth out of that ab roller, aren't
you?
A lot of things on the street there were a lot of fun and required a lot of
work sometimes too.
Three!
The Dutch sailed here in New York in 1624 and for 40 years ruled over the
colony.
Check it out. Hey, who are you supposed to be?
Come on guys, can't you see him doing this thing here?
It was conquered by the English. Are you talking back to me, sweetheart?
I think he got any money.
You better run, I'll cut you.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
We broke Rupert's window one time.
I have only a vague memory of this,
but a couple of the crew and myself,
a bunch of stagehands, had to do Riverdance,
the Irish dancing that was a craze at the time.
I guess still is.
Okay, that's plenty.
All right, that's plenty.
They would use me to do interrupts.
Dave would be doing his monologue,
and then all of a sudden he would just walk out,
and then be standing next to Dave.
And invariably, he would look shocked.
He would go, ooh.
Every once in a while, it was so good.
You couldn't help laughing.
It was so good.
And I think I left something in the pocket.
In my pocket?
Yeah, it's right here.
Right here.
Let me see.
I got it.
That's it.
It's still good.
Good.
Thank you, Dave.
Thanks, Pat.
A guy that worked for me,
someone must have noticed that there's some resemblance,
but he's a lot shorter than me,
putting me six or eight inches.
So they decided to call us Pat and Little Pat.
Pat won't be able to interrupt your show for a few weeks
because he's going on vacation.
So he asked me to interrupt your show while he's away.
Uh-huh.
Um, well, you know,
we don't really want the show interrupted.
Whether Pat's here or not.
And by the way, who are you?
I'm Bobby.
The stagehandle kind of looks like a miniature version of Pat.
Yeah, well, that part's true.
But again, we're just getting the show kind of off the ground here,
and we don't really welcome the interruptions.
I forget, Pat.
What am I supposed to do when he gets all bitchy like this?
You don't need to get pissy, you withered old hag!
I think we should leave now, little Pat.
Yeah, I think that's a good idea.
See, thanks.
Nice going, guys.
Some of the best guests that came on were the military.
And he had people come on that had done these amazingly heroic things.
And so modest about it, it was unbelievable.
One fella came on, and he had lost a hand.
And I believe he had saved a couple of people.
And in the process, that's what had happened to him.
And he's chatting with Dave, and he says,
"And I can do tricks with it, too, I think."
Something to that effect.
And then he took his hand and just started spinning it around.
I'm sure he's had his troubles, but it was pretty cool.
And he was pretty cool.
What can you tell us about your hand here?
I'll tell you, when I lost my hand, I thought I was going to get a hook,
which I also have a hook.
But then when they gave me this, I was in awe.
I mean, this is pretty much like a normal hand.
It's got rotation as well.
So it's got a bunch of neat features.
Now, it's none of my business, but...
What do you use the rotation for?
Well, if I have something in this hand, and I got my hand in this posture,
and I want to grab something sideways, it's easier than having to put something
down.
I see, I see.
And it's really good for a lot of the double-arm amputees,
because they can't manipulate the wrist as easy.
But it sits up here on your muscles.
It's got little sensors that pick up the slightest muscle movement.
You can see my muscle twitching.
That's just remarkable.
That's amazing.
Yes, it is amazing, and for an amazing man.
CBS has rights to the NCAA tournament, March Madness.
So Late Show, one year they decided to promo it by having me throw basketballs
off the roof,
which was nine of its stories up, give or take, and into a hoop that was on the
street.
Preface this, I had a younger brother who had just passed.
Right before we were ready to rehearse, I started hearing a voice from my
brother on the fifth shot.
So the first three or four shots, the balls would be going to, you know,
14, 15 feet in the direction, just blown by the wind.
And come the fifth shot, the ball just blown 15 feet in another direction.
And I said, "Oh, well, so much for that."
But then the voice comes in loud and clear and says, "No, during the show,
stupid."
"Now you're going to make it in two shots."
And I said, "Oh, God."
You know, the first shot gets blown all over the place.
The second shot goes right in.
And I just, "Oh, well, there you go."
I couldn't believe it.
Take it away, Pat.
Okay.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
But you see what I'm talking about, that bounce, Pat?
Coming up, man.
You get that bounce working for you, my friend.
You're going to the Hall of Fame.
I'm going to do it.
All right, keep going.
You got enough balls up there?
Yeah.
Okay.
Maybe I'll spit it.
Whoa.
Oh, Nella.
What happened there?
Man, alive did that look...
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
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Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
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Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
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Man, alive did that look so good.
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Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
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Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
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Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
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Man, alive did that look so good.
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Man, alive did that look so good.
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Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
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Man, alive did that look so good.
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Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
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Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did that look so good.
Man, alive did t