Name: The First Hal Gurnee's Network Time Killer | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-05-02T21:55:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The First Hal Gurnee's Network Time Killer | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The First Hal Gurnee's Network Time Killer | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-02. Transcript available.

ladies and gentlemen tonight despite the fact that we're functioning uh under
the
handicap of no writers we have a brand new television segment for you uh and it's
something
we like to call what are we calling this one i don't have it written down what
oh here it comes
here it is right here our brand new second that's right hal gurney's network
time killers
ball do you have music for this
that was the music for that okay all right you have lyrics yeah they're hal gurney's
network time
killers and just in time there's our uh our beloved director hal gurney how
congratulations on having
your very own segment what uh what can you tell us about this well dave we're
all uh doing our best to
keep going while the writers are out you know and uh i thought the first thing
we'd do is uh
something we worked up called the what uh this day in history this day in
history you've probably
heard this on uh maybe radio shows so this will be entertaining and informative
eh hal well yeah i
would get some uh pad and pencils out uh you want to take this okay this day in
history yeah and this
is fresh from the ap wired uh-huh all right uh in uh in 1776 the virginia state
constitution was adopted
right and patrick henry was the made governor uh-huh and uh let's see oh
actress ruth warwick
is uh 72 today 72 congratulations well a happy birthday to ruth nice going out
take two please
do you have anything else al there for your network time killer debut yeah take
four uh for
the ladies dave i thought maybe we'd show a little uh uh tape we have on menu
helpers oh menu helpers
carrie won't you roll that here it comes okay i particularly like this all
right let's prepare a
five-day menu for instance let's imagine it's monday and mrs homemaker wants to
prepare a taste tempting
meatloaf here's all she has to add to the ground beef this new cooking sauce
contains all the needed
ingredients specially blended mix it shape it pop it in the oven for an hour
and she's created a superb main dish meal gee that's that's great hal that's
very nice
we have more of those days we have five all together excuse me hal yeah so we
could have one of those
each night maybe sure let me ask you one question hal and then i think you're
going to turn it over to
pete for some music our associate director yeah uh you're not wearing a brand
new shirt are you hal
how do you know how do you know i think i think we can still see the folds in
that no no that's the
way it's thought would you widen out please sorry yeah all right hal listen
congratulations on this
wonderful new segment i think it's really going to take off like there was a
writer guild strike
yeah um and then we have music to pay it off is that correct uh pete uh what do
you have for us
tonight pete fadovich ladies and gentlemen did you hear that dave lady of spain
lady of spain dave
all right lady of spain take it away pete
pete pick it up a little bit pete a little faster will you pick it up a bit
see the problem i think with hal gurney's network time killers yeah that's that's
really what it is
oh well at least we're honest about it yeah we have nothing else really to put
in that spot that's
right we must have something else well we choose to go with a kindly white-haired
gentleman uh with
a brand new shirt and some very charming things i think i think he went out and
got the new shirt
when he heard there was going to be hal gurney's network time killers exactly
yeah and tomorrow paul
tomorrow i have a story oh good so remind me to tell my story you have a story
left over from from
yesterday anyway yeah but i'll tell it tomorrow okay and and it's about hal's
lovely wife joan gurney
oh what about that story about the governor of uh of indiana oh yeah we got to
talk about her she
hates me now she's really upset with me