Name: G. Gordon Liddy's Hardcore Tips For Prison | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-05-03T15:04:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'G. Gordon Liddy's Hardcore Tips For Prison | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'G. Gordon Liddy's Hardcore Tips For Prison | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-03. Transcript available.

My first guest right here.
Of all of the characters involved in the Watergate scandal,
there were none as fascinating as my next guest.
He has served four and one-half years in prison for his involvement
and recounted his philosophy of life and personal story
in the book entitled Will, which was also a television movie.
Please welcome G. Gordon Liddy.
G. Gordon Liddy, how are you?
Nice to see you.
Thank you for being on the show.
In the past couple of months, I've been reading things about you traveling
and appearing at colleges with Timothy Leary.
Yes, Tim and I have debated, I think, eight times so far.
As a matter of fact, we did it on Broadway here not long ago in Manhattan.
This is a musical?
Well, sometimes I expect it to be anything.
When you're debating with Tim, anything can happen, and I mean anything.
Well, the reason I said that, I was just being silly, of course,
but it sounds like a very odd combination, you and Timothy Leary.
What is the history of this relationship?
Well, the relationship began when I busted him twice, back in the 1960s.
And then he went his way, which included Afghanistan and everything else,
and I made mine, which included nine different federal prisons.
And we both did a lot of lecturing separately, and a fellow down in Texas said,
you know,
it's a natural to bring these two fellows whose philosophies are 180 degrees
opposed.
Yeah.
Now, what do you discuss or debate when you're on stage?
The powers of the state, which I represent, and individual freedom, which Tim
represents.
There's always been a tension between those, and we really chew it up.
Are you too friendly now?
I would say so, yeah.
I still think he's dead wrong, but Tim is a, oh, got a great Irish wit, and he's
nice to be around.
Yeah.
Would you, would you ever consider using some of the preparations that he, I'm
not even sure what some of those preparations are anymore.
He denies that he uses controlled dangerous substances, asserting that he can
never be arrested for it because he uses stuff that is so new the government
hasn't caught on to it yet.
Is, uh, is, is he, uh, got something going pretty much all the time?
I mean, is he, you know, is there somebody else driving most of the day with
Tim?
Is, uh.
Well, you know, Tim isn't all that unusual anymore.
You go out there and confer with, uh, NBC executives, and, and you feel
terribly out of place.
I mean, I keep thinking that a soda straw is something you sip your soda with,
and the NBC executives keep wanting to stick it up my nose all the time.
But it's, it's just.
Is that true?
Have you had that experience, actually?
I've had it often, yeah.
Really, NBC executives have offered you, uh, I'm, we're talking about cocaine
here, I guess, huh?
Uh, you mean the, the Colombian nose candy?
Yeah.
No, they haven't offered it to me, but, uh, the way I understand it is the, the,
uh, the question is, do we have enough of this stuff around to handle all the
problems that we have to deal with this afternoon?
Um, um, that's a whole different topic area, isn't it?
Yes, it is, yeah.
That, um, uh, when you guys are out lecturing or performing, what are the, uh,
what kind of questions?
What are some of the com, most common questions that are directed to the topic?
Well, they always ask Tim, you know, what is this latest stuff that the
government hasn't caught on to?
Uh, they're liable to ask me anything from questions about Watergate to, I
remember one young lady got up and asked me my opinion of group sex, which took
me aback a little bit.
You know, I asked her, well, how big a group she had in mind.
Mm-hmm.
Do you, um, um, I, I was thinking there about, what are these new substances
that Mr. Leary is?
Mr. Leary is keeping that very close to his vest because once it becomes known,
the government puts it on the list.
Yeah.
Then he has to go find another one.
Now, um, uh, I, I would think that, uh, some of the questions you get would be,
uh, the rat story and then, uh, also about burning your hand with a candle or
some other.
Yes, we get lots of mileage out of that.
All right, I'll tell you what, we're going to pause here for a commercial and,
uh, we'll come back and take up those two topics with Mr. Gordon-Leddy right
after this.
Welcome back to the show.
Uh, G. Gordon-Leddy is with us and, uh, we're talking, uh, about, among other
things, you're touring with, uh, Timothy Leary.
And I brought up the two, uh, stories about one, a rat, and, uh, the other
about burning yourself.
Do you, you want to talk about these?
I think everybody knows about them by now, but if you'd bought me two, I'd be
happy to.
What do you want to know about them?
Well, they're such great stories, first of all.
Let's, let's start, let's start with the rat.
You want to start with the rat?
Yeah, well, you start with the rat.
Well, I was afraid of a lot of things when I was a child, just about everything,
with the possible exception of my mother, and I wasn't too sure about her, you
know.
Mm-hmm.
And, uh, one of the things was rats.
And I had learned through my reading that American Indians used to, uh, devour
parts of the bodies of brave warriors in an attempt to overcome their fear of
other tribes and things like that.
So when my sister's cat slew a rat, um, I cooked it, and I ate the left rear haunch
of it.
And there went the fear of rats.
That was when I was 11 years old.
With respect to burning, that was because I was afraid of pain and, uh, fire,
because when I was a child, I'd picked up a hot coal.
And so I did some of that to, uh, overcome the fear of, uh, fire and pain.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Nothing unusual, nothing unusual about that.
I've been, I've been told that that is a process known to psychologists as desensitization.
Yeah, um, but these are dramatic examples of that philosophy.
Well, this is a dramatic show, is it not?
Oh, you bet.
Um, uh, but now a lot of people, say we, say I was talking to you or a member
of your family about Paul Schaefer, and I said, this guy will put his hand in a
flame or he'll eat rats.
That person talking about Paul, hypothetically here, would be described by many
as being nuts.
Now, do, do you, do people consider you to be, uh, you know, maybe of having
stepped off the curb?
Well, it depends, you know, on the circumstances.
My roommate in France, his father was put in a Nazi concentration camp, and he
had to flee the Germans, and he lived on rat meat for a year and a half.
That's how he kept alive.
It depends on why you do it.
Uh, I suppose if, uh, your friend over here did it for a hobby, you might, uh,
think it was odd of him.
Yeah.
But if, uh, you do it for some feeling of necessity, I don't think it's that
odd.
But in your case, it really wasn't for necessity, it was more of a...
Oh, it was for necessity, because, you see, I didn't want to be afraid of rats
any more than I'd want to be afraid of you.
Yeah.
And, of course, I'm afraid of neither.
Yeah.
Um, what about, um, uh, I'm wondering now how you got along in prison, because
there, were you frightened in prison?
No, um, I had, uh, the armament of my education when I was in prison, and
prison, you know, is, is, uh, an odd place.
The prisoners run the prisons, the guards don't run the prisons.
And, uh, when I found myself in one prison, for example, uh, with a problem
with the persons who were running it,
I just reverted to type and wiretapped them, and, uh, used the evidence that I
gathered to take them into court and, uh, defeat them.
And then I got expelled from that prison.
The reason I was in nine different prisons in this country is because I kept
getting expelled from one prison into another one.
Uh, bad attitude, huh?
More than a little.
Yeah.
Now, but you started out, I'm, I'm just guessing, I don't know the details here,
you started out in what they call the minimum security operation?
No, I started out by direction of my good friend, John Sirica, in a maximum
security prison, complete with electric chair.
Oh, so, so you were really in, uh, pretty deep water here to be making waves,
weren't you?
Yes, and I created a few tidal waves, that's correct.
Did, did you have, um, did you have weapons in, inside prison?
Yes.
And how does a person get a weapon?
You can get anything you want inside a prison, anything, if you're willing to
pay for it and have the assets to pay for it.
The way I got, uh, weapons were, some I bought, and, uh, some I stole, and some
I had made for me by friends.
Good heavens, and weren't, like, firearms, actual guns?
No, I had, uh, I had a steel bar with sharp edges with which I could break your
legs.
I had a, uh, a pickaxe handle with a jagged hunk of rusty steel on the end of
it, with which I could, uh, make you very unhappy.
Mm-hmm.
And, uh, of course, I had a knife. You always have a knife.
Yeah.
A shank, as it's called.
Mm-hmm.
Shank, for you kids watching at home, it's a shank.
Um, we're gonna pause, excuse me, sir, we'll be back to continue this
discussion with, uh, Mr. Liddy.
After, that's right.
Thank you, uh, welcome back.
We'll just have a minute in this segment, and then, uh, after the, uh, station
identification, we'll continue at length.
Uh, when, when you were in prison, what was the reaction of the other inmates
to you?
Well, the reaction whenever you go into another prison is always the same.
They don't know what they have to deal with, and they have to find out what
kind of a person you are, so you will be tested.
My advice to those of you out there who are contemplating entering prison is
the minute you walk in, if someone says good morning,
and there's a cloud in the sky which gives you an excuse, pick up a mop ringer
handle, break his head, and then they know, uh, where you're coming from, so to
speak.
That's the accepted response to good morning?
It had better be.
Yeah.
That's if you want to remain, uh, remain a, a member of the male sex.
Now, you're, uh, you're speaking, I mean, I, I have no, no reason to doubt you.
You were in prison for, uh, and you could have been in for, for longer, couldn't
you?
21 and a half years.
Yeah.
Oh, uh, also you could have probably been in for shorter if you'd want to do,
uh...
I could have been released virtually, uh, within 24 hours.
Now, why did you choose to take the...
Well, there were several reasons.
First of all, uh, I was the captain of the ship when she hit the reef.
My responsibility was damage control, and so I sought to do that by my silence.
Secondly, I, uh, was taught by my father that a man does not seek to extricate
himself from difficulty at the expense of his friends and associates.
So your feeling was, I got myself into this, I'll take the punishment, it's all
part of the game.
All right.
Uh, how did your, uh, how has your family, uh, held up under, uh, the stress
and trials of the Watergate and then the incarceration and now the book and the
TV film and so forth?
Well, you know, there's an old saying that what, uh, doesn't kill you makes you
stronger, and that seemed to work, uh, with my family.
I've got, uh, two swimming champions, one world-class water polo player, one
captain of the swimming team, uh, one pre-med student.
They all do very, very well.
You're a very methodical person, I'm guessing, uh, from what little you've, uh,
told us here tonight, and, and also what I read about you this afternoon, and
even into selecting your spouse-to-be.
Yes.
You did some genetic research on this woman?
Well, you know, when you, when you, uh, when you look at a girl, if you can't
tell whether she's got good genes or not, you really oughtn't to be in the
husband business, you know.
If you can't tell if she has, comes from good stock, then you're gonna-
Well, I mean, if, if, if, if the poor creature is a fugitive from the board of
health, and it's obvious, uh, then I would suggest not marrying her.
Mm-hmm.
If, on the other hand, she's tall and, uh, smart and beautiful, um, then you
get yourself a good candidate.
Yeah. Uh, what, uh, what, uh, how did she demonstrate her intelligence?
Well, I walked in one day, and, uh, she was amusing herself, I thought, doing a
crossword puzzle.
Well, I amused myself during the Times crossword puzzle, and I found that,
instead, she was doing differential calculus for fun.
Oh.
This thoroughly intimidated me.
Yeah, yeah, that, that does sound like fun, though. You have to, you have to,
you have to give her that.
You have to understand that, at the time, she was working for IBM, and she was
designing computer languages, and she was only 25.
She was the one that they sent to, uh, Indiana to wire the mainframe computers
for the U.S. Army, and to also teach the United States government how to run
them.
Mm-hmm.
That was when she was 26.
Um, this whole thing now, uh, it's been, uh, 10 years, almost, to the month, to
the week here, of the, uh, the Watergate break-in.
Is there, uh—
Well, actually, we had a successful one, which anniversary is never celebrated,
that actually is a few days ago.
Oh, so, this would be the—
That's the one I celebrated, you see. You celebrate the other one. I'll
celebrate the other one.
So, um, is there, now, the one that, uh, June, what was the date?
17th of June, yeah.
Now, is there anything about this, um, uh, mess, uh, that you look back on and
find amusing now?
I, that was—
Well, yeah, there were lots of things amusing. I remember, it took us three
times.
Before we got in the first time successfully.
And, uh, the second time that we unsuccessfully were in, Howard Hunt got
trapped in a room.
And the guards kept coming by, swinging their flashlights.
So, being the old OSS and CIA guy that he is, he hid in a closet.
The closet happened to be a, uh, a liquor closet.
He was in there for eight hours, and, uh, things got urgent.
And Howard found a bottle of red, which was only one-third full.
By the end of the evening, that, uh, let me just put it this way.
If you ever go to the Watergate Hotel, under no circumstances, order scotch.
Never.
Never.
Never.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Go good with rat, wouldn't it?
It, uh...
Oddly enough, oddly enough, after the book came out, the, the Washington star
made a survey
of the top chefs of Washington, all the, all the haute cuisine, and they, they
said, Liddy,
there's one thing about Liddy, is he does not know how properly to cook rat.
And they gave their recipes and told what wine you should have with it and
everything, and
it's quite true, I really don't know.
Um, this, this whole thing here, um, now when you, when I, uh, introduced you,
there
was a smattering of some people booed a little bit, and, uh, and I'm sure that
this comes
as a surprise.
Well, look, John Sirica's children are everywhere.
Some of them are undoubtedly out of nature.
Well, but the, uh, uh, see, lots of them.
Uh, and this afternoon, uh, I was reading a little thing about you that said,
uh, in other
times, uh, under other circumstances, you might have, in fact, been regarded as
the ultimate
soldier, uh, and even a hero, uh, which I'm guessing is probably, uh, how you
would like
to be remembered, but objectively, if you can be objective, how do you see you
being
remembered in history by this country?
Well, I don't know that I'm going to be that, that much remembered.
I think that as distance lends proportion, the, uh, historians are going to
view the Watergate
incident, uh, with decreasing importance.
It was really just sort of a footnote.
And so you don't see, uh, uh, an eternal place for yourself in the grand scheme
of things?
No, I think the place for me in the grand scheme of things is the same as your
place and
the place of everybody here, and that is, we shall provide a diet for the worms.
Oh, my, what a cheerful note to end this on, isn't it, ladies and gentlemen?
One day we'll all be dust.
Got that?
We're just going to go.
Uh, uh, interesting experience meeting you.
Uh, I appreciate your time, sir.
Uh, Gordon Liddy, ladies and gentlemen, and, uh, we're going to pause, but we'll
be right
back.
So take a look at this.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
Thank you.

G. Gordon Liddy's Hardcore Tips For Prison | Letterman

My first guest right here.
Of all of the characters involved in the Watergate scandal,
there were none as fascinating as my next guest.
He has served four and one-half years in prison for his involvement
and recounted his philosophy of life and personal story
in the book entitled Will, which was also a television movie.
Please welcome G. Gordon Liddy.
G. Gordon Liddy, how are you?
Nice to see you.
Thank you for being on the show.
In the past couple of months, I've been reading things about you traveling
and appearing at colleges with Timothy Leary.
Yes, Tim and I have debated, I think, eight times so far.
As a matter of fact, we did it on Broadway here not long ago in Manhattan.
This is a musical?
Well, sometimes I expect it to be anything.
When you're debating with Tim, anything can happen, and I mean anything.
Well, the reason I said that, I was just being silly, of course,
but it sounds like a very odd combination, you and Timothy Leary.
What is the history of this relationship?
Well, the relationship began when I busted him twice, back in the 1960s.
And then he went his way, which included Afghanistan and everything else,
and I made mine, which included nine different federal prisons.
And we both did a lot of lecturing separately, and a fellow down in Texas said,
you know,
it's a natural to bring these two fellows whose philosophies are 180 degrees
opposed.
Yeah.
Now, what do you discuss or debate when you're on stage?
The powers of the state, which I represent, and individual freedom, which Tim
represents.
There's always been a tension between those, and we really chew it up.
Are you too friendly now?
I would say so, yeah.
I still think he's dead wrong, but Tim is a, oh, got a great Irish wit, and he's
nice to be around.
Yeah.
Would you, would you ever consider using some of the preparations that he, I'm
not even sure what some of those preparations are anymore.
He denies that he uses controlled dangerous substances, asserting that he can
never be arrested for it because he uses stuff that is so new the government
hasn't caught on to it yet.
Is, uh, is, is he, uh, got something going pretty much all the time?
I mean, is he, you know, is there somebody else driving most of the day with
Tim?
Is, uh.
Well, you know, Tim isn't all that unusual anymore.
You go out there and confer with, uh, NBC executives, and, and you feel
terribly out of place.
I mean, I keep thinking that a soda straw is something you sip your soda with,
and the NBC executives keep wanting to stick it up my nose all the time.
But it's, it's just.
Is that true?
Have you had that experience, actually?
I've had it often, yeah.
Really, NBC executives have offered you, uh, I'm, we're talking about cocaine
here, I guess, huh?
Uh, you mean the, the Colombian nose candy?
Yeah.
No, they haven't offered it to me, but, uh, the way I understand it is the, the,
uh, the question is, do we have enough of this stuff around to handle all the
problems that we have to deal with this afternoon?
Um, um, that's a whole different topic area, isn't it?
Yes, it is, yeah.
That, um, uh, when you guys are out lecturing or performing, what are the, uh,
what kind of questions?
What are some of the com, most common questions that are directed to the topic?
Well, they always ask Tim, you know, what is this latest stuff that the
government hasn't caught on to?
Uh, they're liable to ask me anything from questions about Watergate to, I
remember one young lady got up and asked me my opinion of group sex, which took
me aback a little bit.
You know, I asked her, well, how big a group she had in mind.
Mm-hmm.
Do you, um, um, I, I was thinking there about, what are these new substances
that Mr. Leary is?
Mr. Leary is keeping that very close to his vest because once it becomes known,
the government puts it on the list.
Yeah.
Then he has to go find another one.
Now, um, uh, I, I would think that, uh, some of the questions you get would be,
uh, the rat story and then, uh, also about burning your hand with a candle or
some other.
Yes, we get lots of mileage out of that.
All right, I'll tell you what, we're going to pause here for a commercial and,
uh, we'll come back and take up those two topics with Mr. Gordon-Leddy right
after this.
Welcome back to the show.
Uh, G. Gordon-Leddy is with us and, uh, we're talking, uh, about, among other
things, you're touring with, uh, Timothy Leary.
And I brought up the two, uh, stories about one, a rat, and, uh, the other
about burning yourself.
Do you, you want to talk about these?
I think everybody knows about them by now, but if you'd bought me two, I'd be
happy to.
What do you want to know about them?
Well, they're such great stories, first of all.
Let's, let's start, let's start with the rat.
You want to start with the rat?
Yeah, well, you start with the rat.
Well, I was afraid of a lot of things when I was a child, just about everything,
with the possible exception of my mother, and I wasn't too sure about her, you
know.
Mm-hmm.
And, uh, one of the things was rats.
And I had learned through my reading that American Indians used to, uh, devour
parts of the bodies of brave warriors in an attempt to overcome their fear of
other tribes and things like that.
So when my sister's cat slew a rat, um, I cooked it, and I ate the left rear haunch
of it.
And there went the fear of rats.
That was when I was 11 years old.
With respect to burning, that was because I was afraid of pain and, uh, fire,
because when I was a child, I'd picked up a hot coal.
And so I did some of that to, uh, overcome the fear of, uh, fire and pain.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Nothing unusual, nothing unusual about that.
I've been, I've been told that that is a process known to psychologists as desensitization.
Yeah, um, but these are dramatic examples of that philosophy.
Well, this is a dramatic show, is it not?
Oh, you bet.
Um, uh, but now a lot of people, say we, say I was talking to you or a member
of your family about Paul Schaefer, and I said, this guy will put his hand in a
flame or he'll eat rats.
That person talking about Paul, hypothetically here, would be described by many
as being nuts.
Now, do, do you, do people consider you to be, uh, you know, maybe of having
stepped off the curb?
Well, it depends, you know, on the circumstances.
My roommate in France, his father was put in a Nazi concentration camp, and he
had to flee the Germans, and he lived on rat meat for a year and a half.
That's how he kept alive.
It depends on why you do it.
Uh, I suppose if, uh, your friend over here did it for a hobby, you might, uh,
think it was odd of him.
Yeah.
But if, uh, you do it for some feeling of necessity, I don't think it's that
odd.
But in your case, it really wasn't for necessity, it was more of a...
Oh, it was for necessity, because, you see, I didn't want to be afraid of rats
any more than I'd want to be afraid of you.
Yeah.
And, of course, I'm afraid of neither.
Yeah.
Um, what about, um, uh, I'm wondering now how you got along in prison, because
there, were you frightened in prison?
No, um, I had, uh, the armament of my education when I was in prison, and
prison, you know, is, is, uh, an odd place.
The prisoners run the prisons, the guards don't run the prisons.
And, uh, when I found myself in one prison, for example, uh, with a problem
with the persons who were running it,
I just reverted to type and wiretapped them, and, uh, used the evidence that I
gathered to take them into court and, uh, defeat them.
And then I got expelled from that prison.
The reason I was in nine different prisons in this country is because I kept
getting expelled from one prison into another one.
Uh, bad attitude, huh?
More than a little.
Yeah.
Now, but you started out, I'm, I'm just guessing, I don't know the details here,
you started out in what they call the minimum security operation?
No, I started out by direction of my good friend, John Sirica, in a maximum
security prison, complete with electric chair.
Oh, so, so you were really in, uh, pretty deep water here to be making waves,
weren't you?
Yes, and I created a few tidal waves, that's correct.
Did, did you have, um, did you have weapons in, inside prison?
Yes.
And how does a person get a weapon?
You can get anything you want inside a prison, anything, if you're willing to
pay for it and have the assets to pay for it.
The way I got, uh, weapons were, some I bought, and, uh, some I stole, and some
I had made for me by friends.
Good heavens, and weren't, like, firearms, actual guns?
No, I had, uh, I had a steel bar with sharp edges with which I could break your
legs.
I had a, uh, a pickaxe handle with a jagged hunk of rusty steel on the end of
it, with which I could, uh, make you very unhappy.
Mm-hmm.
And, uh, of course, I had a knife. You always have a knife.
Yeah.
A shank, as it's called.
Mm-hmm.
Shank, for you kids watching at home, it's a shank.
Um, we're gonna pause, excuse me, sir, we'll be back to continue this
discussion with, uh, Mr. Liddy.
After, that's right.
Thank you, uh, welcome back.
We'll just have a minute in this segment, and then, uh, after the, uh, station
identification, we'll continue at length.
Uh, when, when you were in prison, what was the reaction of the other inmates
to you?
Well, the reaction whenever you go into another prison is always the same.
They don't know what they have to deal with, and they have to find out what
kind of a person you are, so you will be tested.
My advice to those of you out there who are contemplating entering prison is
the minute you walk in, if someone says good morning,
and there's a cloud in the sky which gives you an excuse, pick up a mop ringer
handle, break his head, and then they know, uh, where you're coming from, so to
speak.
That's the accepted response to good morning?
It had better be.
Yeah.
That's if you want to remain, uh, remain a, a member of the male sex.
Now, you're, uh, you're speaking, I mean, I, I have no, no reason to doubt you.
You were in prison for, uh, and you could have been in for, for longer, couldn't
you?
21 and a half years.
Yeah.
Oh, uh, also you could have probably been in for shorter if you'd want to do,
uh...
I could have been released virtually, uh, within 24 hours.
Now, why did you choose to take the...
Well, there were several reasons.
First of all, uh, I was the captain of the ship when she hit the reef.
My responsibility was damage control, and so I sought to do that by my silence.
Secondly, I, uh, was taught by my father that a man does not seek to extricate
himself from difficulty at the expense of his friends and associates.
So your feeling was, I got myself into this, I'll take the punishment, it's all
part of the game.
All right.
Uh, how did your, uh, how has your family, uh, held up under, uh, the stress
and trials of the Watergate and then the incarceration and now the book and the
TV film and so forth?
Well, you know, there's an old saying that what, uh, doesn't kill you makes you
stronger, and that seemed to work, uh, with my family.
I've got, uh, two swimming champions, one world-class water polo player, one
captain of the swimming team, uh, one pre-med student.
They all do very, very well.
You're a very methodical person, I'm guessing, uh, from what little you've, uh,
told us here tonight, and, and also what I read about you this afternoon, and
even into selecting your spouse-to-be.
Yes.
You did some genetic research on this woman?
Well, you know, when you, when you, uh, when you look at a girl, if you can't
tell whether she's got good genes or not, you really oughtn't to be in the
husband business, you know.
If you can't tell if she has, comes from good stock, then you're gonna-
Well, I mean, if, if, if, if the poor creature is a fugitive from the board of
health, and it's obvious, uh, then I would suggest not marrying her.
Mm-hmm.
If, on the other hand, she's tall and, uh, smart and beautiful, um, then you
get yourself a good candidate.
Yeah. Uh, what, uh, what, uh, how did she demonstrate her intelligence?
Well, I