Name: Dave Looks For Rats In New York City | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-05-09T22:27:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Looks For Rats In New York City | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Looks For Rats In New York City | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-09. Transcript available.

this is this is just great look what we have here what is that oh well that's
disgusting
i know what that is yeah this is the daily special at rupert g's hello deli
we have a gentleman on the program by the name of robert sullivan and he's
written this book
entitled rats and he's out on 53rd street right now and all night long during
the show he will
be looking for rats and as soon as we have a rat we have cameras out there and
we'll switch live
right up to show you there that's exactly there's a camera right there oh wait
a minute oh no
everybody got very excited though didn't they
and he he knows everything there is to know about rats he's a rat expert and we'll
find out how many
rats are in new york city and how many of them we have here and after the show
i'm going to ask him
if he'll take a look at my contract because i've smelled a rat there for years
you know
you know because we're doing the show it oh hello yeah we have our yes sir we
have our first man
come on go down the sewer go down the sewer wow my god he'll be running in the
preakness there he goes
he shoots he scores man now that was about a medium rat that was medium that's
about a medium all right
yeah all right let's go outside and say hello to uh mr sullivan robert sullivan
our rat expert
good morning bob how are you i'm good thank you for asking i'm good thank you
how long have you been a rat expert uh i'd say a year one year and and why are
you a rat expert
uh because i i i think rats are disgusting yeah and how you've studied them and
you you followed rats
for like an entire year is that correct in new york city uh in an alley camping
stool i just kind of
sat there and watched the rats in that alley and what did you learn about rat
behavior that we don't
know or we did not know before uh the rats the number one thing probably that
people want to know
even if they don't know it is sex 20 times a day rats wait a minute wait a
minute this guy wait a
that's right that's what you're gonna get the audience likes that that's what
you're gonna get you know
at this hour of the night sounds like my ex-wife seriously now uh sex 20 times
a day and that means
how many of them do you believe are in new york city now uh number of rats is
the number everybody says
it's eight million one per person uh huh well that's that's really fair don't
you think everybody gets
a rat but it's it's not true it's not true 1949 dave davis from baltimore comes
traps disproves the one
per one rat per person theory right shows that there are there are 256 000 rats
in the city at that time
oh so we can sleep a little easier there's only a quarter million rats right
pop population and is there a
danger to uh we humans uh death is one of the dangers wait wait a minute yeah
but other than that
on the light side professor uh but but seriously i mean if they're busy screwing
all day what possible
what possible threat do they pose to us when a rat bites first of all it's uh 7
000 pounds per square
initial pressure when they bite the front two incisors spread out as they go
into you oh pain is another
thing besides death right and uh so and what about that uh that uh rodent virus
what do they call that
the uh well the hannah virus or hannah virus is is huge i mean that's mice rodents
all kinds of rodents
that's huge i mean leptospirosis i don't want to even okay so so tonight you're
going to be looking
for rats for us and are you capturing rats or just letting them be i'm i'm not
dressed for it now now
now when when we saw that rat earlier was that a medium-sized rat that was yeah
it was medium i mean
people say rats as big as dogs rats big as cats the a really basic element of
rat survival is the rat hole
uh-huh and it wouldn't be any good for the rat to be as big as a cat or a dog
it's they need to be as
big as a big rat that was like almost really big it was like about a pound and
a half pound and a half
pound and a half that ain't bad that's a that's a keeper
well the really big rats are at television city in hollywood but that's that's
another that's another
story all right uh do you mind if i call you a professor no okay but you're not
a professor is
that correct not uh that i know of all right fine all right professor you go
look for rats and let us
know when you find some more all right thank you thank you very much that's uh
robert sullivan ladies
rat experts we're not missing any rats are we i don't want to miss one valuable
i wouldn't want to
miss them either is that the only rat cam we have there on the uh on the storms
oh we have two two
rat cams yeah okay are those robotic rat cams uh-huh
that's there he goes that's the same one i'll bet you we should we should have
uh the professor
he should be putting radio collars on these rats and then next year professor
can you do that can
you radio collar the rats for us i think he's been bitten oh my god somebody
that's a bad sign