Name: Jim Brown Wants To Play In The NFL Again | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-05-19T19:48:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jim Brown Wants To Play In The NFL Again | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jim Brown Wants To Play In The NFL Again | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-19. Transcript available.

now this when you when you stop and consider what this man has accomplished it's
truly amazing he is
the greatest running back in the history of professional football he has also
been involved
in a wide range of other activities from motion picture acting and production
to airport security in grenada that's right uh we're delighted to have him with
us tonight please
welcome jim brown you look terrific let me ask you about the airport security
in grenada and then
we'll get on to other matters tell us what that is well you know i have to sit
up here and look back
at you huh well no it's going to be all right sorry well you're not steamed
first of all i'd like to
no not at all i can i can sit over there you have a terrific band over here oh
they're the greatest
unbelievable they're terrific when you're standing back there you get ready you
know when you're
very exciting they're the uh consistently the best thing about the show night
in and night out is that
true the band is yeah oh well i'll tell you about grenada no i'm a director in
a company called the
high-tech engineering company which is out of mclean virginia and uh we do
security yeah from nuclear
security on down to personal security how did you get involved in that from
being in the films and
acting and so forth at the airport i've always been diversified people just
didn't know about it
yeah they learn about it now see now you yourself are not going to be down
there looking for
troublemakers uh no look going through luggage and stuff i'm a director i sit
in the board meetings
yeah you're at home safely in the states and then the experts go down and they
apply the security all
right i'm definitely not an expert is uh now what is grenade is that everything
back to normal i guess
down there now well when you say normal no it's not back to normal but uh we
are there and we hope to
uh install our system there the capitalistic system and uh contrary to uh
normal belief the grenadians
were very happy that we did come in and now what we're trying to do is create
uh business yeah joint
ventures with the grenadians now have you have you done this at other airports
or just down there
uh no this will be our first uh venture the new company do they know anything
about this anything
about airport security our company yeah i mean we have some of the greatest
people in the world you
see we have a lot of ex-government people that as far as the expertise they're
the best in the world
so everything's cool oh yes okay great everything's gonna be great you don't
have to worry about it
caribbean basin is secure all right now let's still be here let me i was
thought i was i mentioned there's
some unbelievable things you played nine years yes in the nfl 12 14 game
seasons in those days right
uh yes and you played every game yes no injuries or did you just play with the
injuries well let's say
that you just play a lot of it is because you want to play you can always find
an excuse not to play
yeah there are always excuses and you retired at a relatively young age didn't
you well actually 29
technically oh now there are guys playing well into their 30s these days yes
and even later now now uh
jim are you serious about this deal uh coming back to the nfl you're 48 right
yes i am and you are
serious about it but what does 48 have to do with it well i think i'm curious
well to my way of thinking
you know you're not you know um i don't know 48 you're a successful executive
you got these airport
things going uh you you're making a comeback 48 i don't know do you feel any
different now than
you did at 29 of course i feel different first of all i feel uh that i know a
lot more i'm much
smarter than i was at 29 and uh i've always been in condition and you know
everything that's ever been
done in this country and all over the world that's great has been done uh when
people disbelieve that
it could be done sure you see i don't believe that anyone should tell me what i
can't do
i don't believe there's any age that you're finished i i feel that i will be
relevant
forever and i'd like to motivate other people to be relevant forever after all
the 747 flies david
you know if you don't know anything about i mean you know i mean when i look at
a 747 sitting on
the ground and think that it gets up in the air yeah to play professional
football again is easy
yeah i know but now um now let me tell you this if you were 21 you couldn't
play professional football
no i couldn't there are guys that are weight lifters look there are guys that
are sprint champions
weight lifters guys that are big 300 pounds and they can't play professional
football okay now let me
ask you about this you okay say physically let's say you can do it but you've
been away from the game
now since you were 29 now you know there's going to be hot shots who think all
right i'm going to put
one notch in the gun here i'm going to get jim brown we're going to punish this
guy well see there's
one thing you're overlooking football is a team sport now i am 48 years old the
other 10 guys are
going to be in their 20s and they're going to be good that's working for me
yeah you see football is not
like tennis you know see the guys that i have are going to be hot shots too
yeah so i'm not going
back with a bunch of 48 year olds i'm going back myself and i'm going to use
these young strong guys
and i'm going to direct them and utilize some of the techniques that they have
not learned about
running the ball yet yeah well now that makes good sense don't go in there with
a line of 48 year
old guys no no no no i don't want to do that okay now now tell me what the what
does what does all
this have to do with franco harris now all right if franco harris breaks your
record it will have
taken him more years longer games to do it right taking them everything uh
longer now i mean it's
i'll tell you what it is about franco you see you know we are a country that
believe in youth
we're always trying to replace somebody and we don't always do it fairly so
while they were talking about
all these guys every year it's a new guy they bring to me they brought earl
campbell they're bringing
eric dickerson they're bringing franco walter payton they're bringing everybody
nobody's coming really
and everything and he almost came close no one's ever done it but they're
always doing that right
so here's franco and he's been a great player four super bowls he's been a
leader in pittsburgh
he's a fine young man but he's now running out of bounds he's staying around he's
playing half of
a game you think he's just accumulating yardage of course he's accumulating
yardage without being
the focal point of the team anymore now what's the record 13 000 plus i don't
know the exact number
how close is he do you think uh he should break it next year now you are going
to be playing next year
well first of all we're gonna run 40 yard dash oh that's right you challenged
franco to a 40 yard
yes and he accepted on national television and i was very surprised at that now
what was your last time in
the 40 yard dash i was uh timed at four five and what was your time when you
were playing
well that was four five that's the last time i've been tagged that was the last
other time but that's
something very interesting about that you see you know what a time means time
means they put a clock
on you to run now the other fact is that i've never been beaten in the 40. that's
more important
in the time now but you you man against man now now now tell me what if you had
to go out tonight and
run a 40 yard dash what would it take you depends on who i was running against
say you were running
if i was running against you it would probably be in a cab now what was now
what's franco's best time
in the four i don't think they've ever publicized it for obvious reasons yeah
well this is going to
be interesting now who would you play for if you go back well there's two
possibilities first of all
are you really going back i'm not going to give you the scoop of all times what
i'm going to tell
you is that i'm more serious now especially after talking to you you are going
you are going to make
me prove it i'm gonna tell you why you see there are a lot of people out there
over 40 and they're
beautiful they'd love to see it and they're strong and they know what quality
is and we're not always
selling quality today we're selling entertainment in sports you know i know but
i see entertainer i don't
think well the football player well i mean you said it not me yeah i know but
see i don't think people
would ever dispute that you were the best running back in the history of
football but that's not the
issue but so what happens if you go back and it doesn't work out now that's
going to be the memory
that people have huh well let me tell you something i've never lived for their
memories you know because
monday morning when i have to pay the bills i have to pay them yeah no one else
does it everything
that i've ever done someone told me i couldn't do it give me a hint what team
would it be would it be the
raiders are they gonna well it would have to be the raiders the national
football league uh the express
in the united states football but it's almost it's got to be in the nfl to make
this well yeah
that's true it would have to be the raiders because you know about the raiders
oh yeah dallas is
considered america's team right i'm glad you said that
now let me tell you why okay because they're apple pie and they're pink cheeks
the raiders are
tough guys and they get the job done but now look but let me tell you what
happens the raiders are
tough they get the job done they use guys that are washed up jim plunk was
supposed to washed up ten
years ago he just led the team to the super bowl lyle alzada all these guys we
gotta go to commercial uh
we gotta go to a commercial you look a little nervous
okay but anyway all right the raiders are made up a bunch of misfits okay yes
uh we'll take your time
uh we gotta go to a commercial so i can get my composure back and uh jim and i'll
continue here
i'll tell you what before we run out of time i just want to mention that one of
the reasons you're
in new york as you're being inducted into the uh collegiate lacrosse hall of
fame yes this man is
one of the most versatile athletes ever placed on the face of the earth now uh
jim uh back to oakland
dallas l.a dallas l.a dallas now you were saying that uh uh i was a big lawsuit
between rosell and uh
al davis oh that's that's right that's right they're down in l.a now yeah
because the court said that
but dallas you don't think is america's team oh not at all because there's a
lot of i'm sorry ladies
there's a lot there's a lot of you know it's like america tries to be other
than what it is
the raiders have all these guys that nobody can handle yet they get along and
they produce and they
win these are misfits cast-offs yes and they work together you never hear about
drugs with the raiders
right yet when you look at the cowboys a lot of their guys have been heavily
involved in drugs so when
you talk about america's team you're talking about different people that are
working together to get
the job done who exemplifies that anymore than the raiders who is more of an
american than al davis
who takes on the system and wins i gotta go with the raiders but if bill olenberg
of the la express
has his uh we're gonna have a meeting and talk about it go go go back to the nfl
you gotta if you're
gonna do it you gotta do it i got a few months yeah we haven't run the race yet
i might lose it
if i win the race then i still have time so look at every opportunity it all
hinges on the race if
you don't win the race you may not get back in the race i'm gonna apologize and
go back home
well that's that's gentlemanly but i'm gonna win the race you think you're
gonna win there we got
about a minute here tell me about the playboy mansion are you always at the
playboy mansion
a lot of the time at the playboy mansion oh yes i'm there a lot of the time now
i've never i've never
been there well first of all let me tell you about the playboy mansion hugh heffner
is a tremendous man
he's an innovator he's oh yeah but get to the good stuff yeah well the girl
right the jacuzzi you
cannot lock the door there's always a lot of beautiful girls there's always a
lot of celebrities
there's a lot of birds and animals and there's a tennis court in the playroom
and we have access
24 hours a day unbelievable but is it is it uh is it like you think it is yeah
i mean it could be but i
i mean and you it hasn't been uh have you ever gone home from that place saying
to yourself oh my god
uh yes
you're welcome we'll be right back okay you

Jim Brown Wants To Play In The NFL Again | Letterman

now this when you when you stop and consider what this man has accomplished it's
truly amazing he is
the greatest running back in the history of professional football he has also
been involved
in a wide range of other activities from motion picture acting and production
to airport security in grenada that's right uh we're delighted to have him with
us tonight please
welcome jim brown you look terrific let me ask you about the airport security
in grenada and then
we'll get on to other matters tell us what that is well you know i have to sit
up here and look back
at you huh well no it's going to be all right sorry well you're not steamed
first of all i'd like to
no not at all i can i can sit over there you have a terrific band over here oh
they're the greatest
unbelievable they're terrific when you're standing back there you get ready you
know when you're
very exciting they're the uh consistently the best thing about the show night
in and night out is that
true the band is yeah oh well i'll tell you about grenada no i'm a director in
a company called the
high-tech engineering company which is out of mclean virginia and uh we do
security yeah from nuclear
security on down to personal security how did you get involved in that from
being in the films and
acting and so forth at the airport i've always been diversified people just
didn't know about it
yeah they learn about it now see now you yourself are not going to be down
there looking for
troublemakers uh no look going through luggage and stuff i'm a director i sit
in the board meetings
yeah you're at home safely in the states and then the experts go down and they
apply the security all
right i'm definitely not an expert is uh now what is grenade is that everything
back to normal i guess
down there now well when you say normal no it's not back to normal but uh we
are there and we hope to
uh install our system there the capitalistic system and uh contrary to uh
normal belief the grenadians
were very happy that we did come in and now what we're trying to do is create
uh business yeah joint
ventures with the grenadians now have you have you done this at other airports
or just down there
uh no this will be our first uh venture the new company do they know anything
about this anything
about airport security our company yeah i mean we have some of the greatest
people in the world you
see we have a lot of ex-government people that as far as the expertise they're
the best in the world
so everything's cool oh yes okay great everything's gonna be great you don't
have to worry about it
caribbean basin is secure all right now let's still be here let me i was
thought i was i mentioned there's
some unbelievable things you played nine years yes in the nfl 12 14 game
seasons in those days right
uh yes and you played every game yes no injuries or did you just play with the
injuries well let's say
that you just play a lot of it is because you want to play you can always find
an excuse not to play
yeah there are always excuses and you retired at a relatively young age didn't
you well actually 29
technically oh now there are guys playing well into their 30s these days yes
and even later now now uh
jim are you serious about this deal uh coming back to the nfl you're 48 right
yes i am and you are
serious about it but what does 48 have to do with it well i think i'm curious
well to my way of thinking
you know you're not you know um i don't know 48 you're a successful executive
you got these airport
things going uh you you're making a comeback 48 i don't know do you feel any
different now than
you did at 29 of course i feel different first of all i feel uh that i know a
lot more i'm much
smarter than i was at 29 and uh i've always been in condition and you know
everything that's ever been
done in this country and all over the world that's great has been done uh when
people disbelieve that
it could be done sure you see i don't believe that anyone should tell me what i
can't do
i don't believe there's any age that you're finished i i feel that i will be
relevant
forever and i'd like to motivate other people to be relevant forever after all
the 747 flies david
you know if you don't know anything about i mean you know i mean when i look at
a 747 sitting on
the ground and think that it gets up in the air yeah to play professional
football again is easy
yeah i know but now um now let me tell you this if you were 21 you couldn't
play professional football
no i couldn't there are guys that are weight lifters look there are guys that
are sprint champions
weight lifters guys that are big 300 pounds and they can't play professional
football okay now let me
ask you about this you okay say physically let's say you can do it but you've
been away from the game
now since you were 29 now you know there's going to be hot shots who think all
right i'm going to put
one notch in the gun here i'm going to get jim brown we're going to punish this
guy well see there's
one thing you're overlooking football is a team sport now i am 48 years old the
other 10 guys are
going to be in their 20s and they're going to be good that's working for me
yeah you see football is not
like tennis you know see the guys that i have are going to be hot shots too
yeah so i'm not going
back with a bunch of 48 year olds i'm going back myself and i'm going to use
these young strong guys
and i'm going to direct them and utilize some of the techniques that they have
not learned about
running the ball yet yeah well now that makes good sense don't go in there with
a line of 48 year
old guys no no no no i don't want to do that okay now now tell me what the what
does what does all
this have to do with franco harris now all right if franco harris breaks your
record it will have
taken him more years longer games to do it right taking them everything uh
longer now i mean it's
i'll tell you what it is about franco you see you know we are a country that
believe in youth
we're always trying to replace somebody and we don't always do it fairly so
while they were talking about
all these guys every year it's a new guy they bring to me they brought earl
campbell they're bringing
eric dickerson they're bringing franco walter payton they're bringing everybody
nobody's coming really
and everything and he almost came close no one's ever done it but they're
always doing that right
so here's franco and he's been a great player four super bowls he's been a
leader in pittsburgh
he's a fine young man but he's now running out of bounds he's staying around he's
playing half of
a game you think he's just accumulating yardage of course he's accumulating
yardage without being
the focal point of the team anymore now what's the record 13 000 plus i don't
know the exact number
how close is he do you think uh he should break it next year now you are going
to be playing next year
well first of all we're gonna run 40 yard dash oh that's right you challenged
franco to a 40 yard
yes and he accepted on national television and i was very surprised at that now
what was your last time in
the 40 yard dash i was uh timed at four five and what was your time when you
were playing
well that was four five that's the last time i've been tagged that was the last
other time but that's
something very interesting about that you see you know what a time means time
means they put a clock
on you to run now the other fact is that i've never been beaten in the 40. that's
more important
in the time now but you you man against man now now now tell me what if you had
to go out tonight and
run a 40 yard dash what would it take you depends on who i was running against
say you were running
if i was running against you it would probably be in a cab now what was now
what's franco's best time
in the four i don't think they've ever publicized it for obvious reasons yeah
well this is going to
be interesting now who would you play for if you go back well there's two
possibilities first of all
are you really going back i'm not going to give you the scoop of all times what
i'm going to tell
you is that i'm more serious now especially after talking to you you are going
you are going to make
me prove it i'm gonna tell you why you see there are a lot of people out there
over 40 and they're
beautiful they'd love to see it and they're strong and they know what quality
is and we're not always
selling quality today we're selling entertainment in sports you know i know but
i see entertainer i don't
think well the football player well i mean you said it not me yeah i know but
see i don't think people
would ever dispute that you were the best running back in the history of
football but that's not the
issue but so what happens if you go back and it doesn't work out now that's
going to be the memory
that people have huh well let me tell you something i've never lived for their
memories you know because
monday morning when i have to pay the bills i have to pay them yeah no one else
does it everything
that i've ever done someone told me i couldn't do it give me a hint what team
would it be would it be the
raiders are they gonna well it would have to be the raiders the national
football league uh the express
in the united states football but it's almost it's got to be in the nfl to make
this well yeah
that's true it would have to be the raiders because you know about the raiders
oh yeah dallas is
considered america's team right i'm glad you said that
now let me tell you why okay because they're apple pie and they're pink cheeks
the raiders are
tough guys and they get the job done but now look but let me tell you what
happens the raiders are
tough they get the job done they use guys that are washed up jim plunk was
supposed to washed up ten
years ago he just led the team to the super bowl lyle alzada all these guys we
gotta go to commercial uh
we gotta go to a commercial you look a little nervous
okay but anyway all right the raiders are made up a bunch of misfits okay yes
uh we'll take your time
uh we gotta go to a commercial so i can get my composure back and uh jim and i'll
continue here
i'll tell you what before we run out of time i just want to mention that one of
the reasons you're
in new york as you're being inducted into the uh collegiate lacrosse hall of
fame yes this man is
one of the most versatile athletes ever placed on the face of the earth now uh
jim uh back to oakland
dallas l.a dallas l.a dallas now you were saying that uh uh i was a big lawsuit
between rosell and uh
al davis oh that's that's right that's right they're down in l.a now yeah
because the court said that
but dallas you don't think is america's team oh not at all because there's a
lot of i'm sorry ladies
there's a lot there's a lot of you know it's like america tries to be other
than what it is
the raiders have all these guys that nobody can handle yet they get along and
they produce and they
win these are misfits cast-offs yes and they work together you never hear about
drugs with the raiders
right yet when you look at the cowboys a lot of their guys have been heavily
involved in drugs so when
you talk about america's team you're talking about different people that are
working together to get
the job done who exemplifies that anymore than the raiders who is more of an
american than al davis
who takes on the system and wins i gotta go with the raiders but if bill olenberg
of the la express
has his uh we're gonna have a meeting and talk about it go go go back to the nfl
you gotta if you're
gonna do it you gotta do it i got a few months yeah we haven't run the race yet
i might lose it
if i win the race then i still have time so look at every opportunity it all
hinges on the race if
you don't win the race you may not get back in the race i'm gonna apologize and
go back home
well that's that's gentlemanly but i'm gonna win the race you think you're
gonna win there we got
about a minute here tell me about the playboy mansion are you always at the
playboy mansion
a lot of the time at the playboy mansion oh y