Name: Vin Diesel's Bad First Date | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-05-22T22:08:55.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Vin Diesel's Bad First Date | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Vin Diesel's Bad First Date | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-22. Transcript available.

our next guest stars in a new motion picture entitled find me guilty it opens
friday please
welcome vin diesel good to see him incredible how are you i'm fine thank you
very much uh
before we talk about the the movie and other stuff and by the way do you know
anything about diesel
engines i have a feeling i'm getting set up over here no no no i i think the
compression
the combustion takes place purely by compression in a diesel engine well i i
mean that's not the only
benefit of diesel
i mean i mean it is low maintenance yeah which i can identify with as you could
cleaner burning fuel
is it i think no spark plugs no spark uh but i want to know about your mother
uh is an astrologist
yes is that like a just a hobby with her or does she does for a living or for
like friends very very
interesting that you say that and i'll tell you why i just had a conversation
with my mother and she said
vin you've got to set the record straight i'm a retired social worker that
loves astrology oh okay
so she had a another career and now this is just something she does well she
loves astrology she's
been doing it forever yeah and does she do you find that what she reports on
you to be accurate or does
she not report on you i asked her that too i said mom is everything that you
thought was going to happen
to me did it happen and she said it was very hard to do your chart because you
have a twin brother
i have a twin brother
yeah david's like that doesn't really make sense no it doesn't uh but would
that make it harder or would
it be i think it would make it my my mother's actually here just for the record
if we have to
ask her we can always ask mom all right good she is here but it seemed like
with a with a twin
it just it just there's uh there's less paperwork in astrology with a twin am i
not right about that
the 14 minutes makes all the difference oh yeah i guess i guess you don't you
know traditionally come
out together yeah well we didn't come out holding hands i came out 14 minutes
earlier and and do you
ever talk to her about important things in your life regarding astrology do i
ever talk to her about
important things in my life yes yes uh regarding astrology yeah if you have to
make a decision about
something you ever just for the fun of it find out what she has to say about it
you mean like love or something well in anything but professionally personally
well i i consult with my mother but it's usually not in the realm of astrology
it's just mother son right just that's fine and the and the astrology aspect of
it she explains as
being this this process that she uses to help you understand your family better
to understand your relationships better right it's actually a good thing yeah
well that's good
she should do your chart okay all right thank you and is your you have a twin
brother i have a twin
brother twin brother also uh an actor is that true no no no no he is a editor
he he uh is a very big
editor uh in publishing that kind of editing no in film film editing he's a
film editor yeah how about
that yeah isn't that fascinating that you we have twins here 14 minutes apart
uh one is an actor right
the other actually edits the the film in which you might appear it's the
craziest thing
i mean i'm back in new york
uh let's talk a little bit about your uh love for motorcycles do you have many
motorcycles do you
ride often do you write more on a motorcycle or more in a car in california
probably more
in a motorcycle in new york what is it well i used to to go to school every day
at hunter
college with my motorcycle with my gsxir 750 and now i've been getting into atvs
the four-wheel kind
of this yeah yeah yeah but to to me having been on some of those four-wheelers
they they seem less
um uh predictable certainly that's actually true than a motorcycle more
dangerous yeah than motorcycles
yeah um yeah they're more dangerous than motorcycles and you you you're not
supposed to ride them on the
streets and highways they're really all for it yeah yeah they're not all off-road
so if you go upstate
and you see an atv 20 feet above the ground it's usually yeah i'm doing jumps
and stuff have you
injured yourself at all doing that no thank god yeah well be very careful you
wear a helmet you got to
wear a helmet yes you have to wear a helmet yeah i think you should wear a
helmet on anything mm-hmm a bicycle
he's pro helmet are you uh are you are you uh uh you're not married are you no
are you engaged
and do you uh like uh you probably have a lot of uh girls that you you date and
stuff right now david
come on you know me i like the kind of guy that comes up here and says oh my
god i'm so in love
right yeah
uh well what kind of a thing like on a date uh can you take us like through
what would it be like from
the minute you pick a so like somebody you would like a first date what's like
a first date um
first date first date uh 16 years old
what wait a minute no no no no no not not not your first date ever what are you
talking about
i mean no wait a second no no just like just somebody you might meet uh leaving
the theater
what would that what would that might be leaving this yeah like when i leave
here anywhere anywhere
just a a lovely woman that you think oh let's do something let's well then what
do you do do you go to
dinner do you go dancing do you have drinks what what what goes on wow
um huh
i'm a regular meat and potatoes type of guy yeah
i just you know go to dinner yeah do something simple get to know the person
right
introduce her to my mom yeah
what about when on valentine's day when you were 16 what about that that's cool
okay
i was 16 years old it was my first valentine's date and i just started seeing
this girl
so i wanted to do something romantic so i went over here to times square waited
online
for about four hours to get these tickets for dream girls oh sure then i went
and bought flowers
and i put on a nice suit and i went to pick her up and i knocked on the door
she's not there
so i so i'm waiting outside her house because we have to go to see dream girls
for this very
important and romantic valentine's and she pulls up with a guy oh ouch
now you know i'm cool so i gotta
so i go over the guy bing bang i'm joking
she said it was driving lessons oh that's funny that's good that's cute it was
probably the driver's
ed guy right yeah yeah i mean you you must have heard at some point in time
someone give you the
excuse of driving lessons no no no just me uh let's see find me guilty uh opens
on uh friday
and i want to show a clip here okay tell tell folks what we're gonna see okay
okay um that's a good
question uh we're we're going to see a i believe we're going to see the clip
where jackie
denorcio is telling the court that he's going to defend himself and again this
opens march 17th okay
and you're jackie i play jackie denorcio i am jackie denorcio okay let's take a
look find find me
guilty right there and it's a filmed account of a true case in the 80s yes it's
it's based on a uh an actual
trial that happened in the 80s which was the largest mafia trial in history uh
20 defendants
um 76 accounts it happened over two years and we won't tell people what the
outcome and we won't
tell them what the outcome but the best thing about the whole process as you
know was working with
sydney lamette a tremendous director incredible director a dream in fact when i
first directed
directed multifacial the short film that i directed uh to get the confidence to
direct the film
i read a book called making movies by sydney lamette and this was like 12 years
ago so then when he asked
me to play jackie denor show it was like a very nice full circle uh it's a find
me guilty it opens on
friday give my best to your brother and your mother yes vin diesel ladies
gentlemen